Escape Artist

So I've recently started reading The Peacemaker, a book recommended by my friend, Laura. :)  It is about learning to solve conflict in a way that pleases God... which is more difficult than we'd like to think.  I know the basic principles and I think it all sounds simple enough... until I actually encounter a conflict and it becomes personal... then it's much harder to stay on the peaceful middle ground. 

These are the basic responses to conflict: (in the book, they are graphed on a slope from one extreme to the other, which makes more sense)

Suicide -- Flight -- Denial  (Escape)
Overlook -- Reconciliation -- Negotiation -- Mediation -- Arbitration -- Accountability  (Peacemaking)
Assault -- Litigation -- Murder  (Attack)

I definitely tend toward the escape responses.  When something goes wrong in friendships or family relationships and I don't see any simple way to resolve the conflict, then I want OUT as quickly as possible!  Often, I feel panicked and sick, and I want to move.  Texas, Colorado, London, I don't care - just as long as I can make a fresh start that is conflict free.  It's irrational, yes, but it is where my mind goes first during any major problem or emotional pain.  And in the most extreme pain I've dealt with, my thoughts went to the most extreme escape response - not a heatlhy place to be.  Even in situations that others would consider minor, my oversensitive relationship-oriented personality can blow it out of proportion.  I hate it when I feel so fragile and alone - and often like such a pushover, so I do what I can to stop thinking about it... I'm certain that this is where my daydreaming and emotional eating come from - a sort of numbed out mini-escape.  "I have to be done" - I've heard myself say that a lot, but in the end, for me, that is as unrealistic as moving to a new state, so I typically end up turning toward a healthier response.  I'm going to work on getting there faster, though.  On trusting God more and making it my goal to honor Him rather than to escape the hard things life throws at me.  People are not perfect, myself included (obviously), so I'm praying for wisdom and grace in this area.  And I'm looking forward to reading more of this book... and hopefully learning how to keep healthy peace without being a pushover who silences herself for the good of others.

"When I resort to an escape response, I am generally focusing on 'me.'  I am looking for what is easy, convenient, or nonthreatening for myself.  When I use an attack response, I am generally focusing on 'you,' blaming you and expecting you to give in and solve the problem.  When I use a peacemaking response, my focus is on 'us.' I am aware of everyone's interests in the dispute, especially God's, and I am working toward mutual responsibility in solving a problem...

People who use escape responses are usually intent on 'peace-faking,' or making things look good even when they are not.  (This is especially common in the church, where people are often more concerned about the appearance of peace than the reality of peace.)  Attack responses are used by people who are prone to 'peace-breaking.'  They are more than willing to sacrifice peace and unity to get what they want.  Those who use the responses on the top of the slippery slope are committed to 'peace-making' and will work long and hard to achieve true justice and genuine harmony with others." 
~Ken Sande, The Peacemaker

Photo Friday!!

Because I love alliteration, apparently... and because I have a fun new camera, from now on, Fridays will be "Photo Friday" on my blog. :)  Since I have now realized that these pics take forever to upload, the goal will be to post my favorite one or two pictures from that week... (and believe me, I'll have to narrow it down to do that!)

Now don't judge me yet, as I just started reading about and playing with the camera today...  next week will be much better. lol  But I took these pics this afternoon before having tea with "the boys" at McAlisters, and I really love the color and springtime look of them. :)  Somehow, the street sign is nicely blurred out in the top one, but still obviously showing in the bottom one... not sure why or how that happened. lol  But I plan to keep experimenting with it and hopefully to improve as I go along.  I also signed up for an online class with Ashley Campbell (whose blog I adore) called "SnapShops," and I'm pretty excited about that! =)

That's it for today.  Hope you have a lovely weekend!

Thankful Thursday! (37)

"But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ."  ~I Corinthians 15:57

I'm in such a great mood lately... God is good all the time, but it can only help that Fall and Winter are just around the corner!  ;-) 
Today, I'm thankful for...

1.  My gym and their 5:45 AM classes (Spin-Pump-Yoga-Pump-Spin)!!  Yep, I've been getting up at 5AM every day this week... (YAY ME! lol) and the classes are surprisingly crowded and full of friendly morning people... hard to get up, but I love the accountability and having the workout over with so early! =)
2.  Naps!  ;-)  I got a 2 hour nap between work and LG yesterday, and it was definitely awesome!
3.  The LifeGroup ~ last night was just great... I love the crowd and the studies and the encouragement and the popcorn prayers... and that new people feel so welcome (Stephanie) and former members still come back when they're in town (Bill)... and that when we hang out outside of group, we actually act like Christians!!
4.  (This'll be the last time I say this, I promise) but I'm thankful for pool time this past weekend with Natalie and Bobbi!  It was a really busy back-and-forth weekend, and that gave me a couple hours to just totally relax and be happy and "soak up the sun." =)

5.  The new OKC Outlet Mall ...getting to shop and do lunch with Malori and Christine, and for my cute new clothes!! :)

6.  All the fun parties this week ~ Sarah's birthday at Osaka's... Celsey's birthday at El Guapo... then John & Krista's engagement party at Doubleshot Coffee Co. 

7.  That today, for the first time in many brutally hot months, Laura and I are jogging LaFortune after work!! Ahh, memories. =)

Song of the Week = What a Wonderful World by Anwar Robinson! 

LOVE IT.

MM ~ Christmas Shenanigans

Today's "Memory Monday" is the first annual Christmas Shenanigans Party at Bobbi's house!!  =) 

How hilariously awesome is this group pic featuring me with an angelic halo!?  It was taken with my camera set on a timer, but the halo was a fun surprise!  (I think it's even funnier since Alli and Natalie Lovenburg thought we were doing funny faces and both seem to be looking angrily at me.)  I just love it! lol  Love the halo, love their looks, love that Angie is in her fuzzy red slipper shoes, love that my red purse is sitting prominently out front, and love the general Christmas cheer! :)

This was a girls only pajama party featuring cupcakes, oreo balls (first time I tried them and Alli explained how to make them), hot chocolate, and other awesome holiday foods... and that year, we watched The Holiday!!  I ❤ Christmas and everything about this party!  :)  I especially remember that Natalie Gruenberg and I rode together, and that we talked for 3 hours after the party sitting in her car at her apartment parking lot... so much has changed since then, but I still love that memory! :)

"We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!" =D

On your mark... Get set...

• So I read this sentence while sleepily proofreading... "Officer, thank you for being here today," and my mind very immediately went to Julie Andrews saying that and doing the royal wave in Princess Diaries. :) Ridiculous! lol


• That has nothing to do with anything else in this post, but for some reason, I still wanted to throw it in.


• "Success is not final; failure is not fatal... it is the courage to continue that counts." ~Winston Churchill


• So back in the day, CHA had a summer program called the "Athlete's Course," and for some reason I cannot fathom now, I signed up for it.  Our football coach's arrogant son was one of the trainers - problem #1 - yelling and showing no mercy was right up his alley!  It was held in the old tin gym building with no AC, and it included all manner of intense conditioning exercises!  Aww, memories. lol  Anyway, one thing I loved/hated was running with the resistance band... when it was working against you, running took all the strength you could possibly muster!  Then if you turned around and ran as it pulled you, it felt like you were flying! :)





• I'm cheesy and I like having mental pictures for things.  For me, weight loss has felt like running a marathon with that stretchy resistance band attached to me... I get very determined and I make great progress.  I can feel the finish line in the distance, and I so want to get there and celebrate!  But when I get so far down the road, the pressure on that band starts to build and build and build.  It gets harder and I get slower, until finally it hurls me backward and knocks me down.  (That part is both painful and humiliating... in real life and in the lovely metaphor.)  Then I'm forced to either give up... or start over from further back than before.  Disheartening?  YES.  Running the 'marathon' is hard enough, and I certainly don't need the added pressure and guilt and condemnation that I have been tormented with.  So my goal this time around is to "cut the cord" and stop obsessing about it.   To change the way I think (or let God transform it)... and to run my race FREE from that mental drama (bitterness and blame and comparison and overanalysis and guilt and shame), which is the only way I'll ever cross the finish line!!


• It is still a marathon, and still feels overwhelming without small goals.  I'm still starting behind my original starting line, and it will still become more difficult the further I go.  But it is no longer the impossible dream - it's just one foot in front of the other, one pound at a time.  Plus, I believe that if I truly line my thoughts and words up with God and stay positive and full of peace about this, it will have the opposite effect, like He is standing at the finish line pulling me along, cheering for me. =) 


• As Joyce often points out, I am not fighting FOR victory but FROM victory!  And that mindset makes all the difference.  The only thing I need to focus on is Jesus.


• aaaaand GO!!!  (finishing the title) :)

"What a moment You have brought me to,
Such a freedom I have found in You.
You're the healer who makes all things new...
I'm not going back; I'm moving ahead
I'm here to declare to you the past is over.
In You, all things are made new.
Surrendered my life to Christ,
And I'm moving, moving forward
You have risen with all power in Your hands
You have given me a second chance!

You make all things new, yes,
You make all things new,
And I will follow You forward!"
~Moving Forward by Israel Houghton

Thankful Thursday (36)

"Those who look to Him for help will be RADIANT WITH JOY; no shadow of shame will darken their faces."  ~Psalm 34:5

Today, I'm thankful for...

1.  Lindsay's testimony at Lifegroup last night (her mom died 2 weeks ago from cancer).  And thankful for a group who will pray bold prayers with me (praying healing and Psalm 34 over Blake, and trusting God no matter what)!

2.  Antonio Diaz Chacon... for God using him to protect and save the life of the 6-year-old girl who was kidnapped by a man obviously plotting some serious evil.  Also... thankful that this man will be punished (if only it could be life without parole) without getting to follow through on those plans!

3.  That Josh is getting baptised next weekend - very excited about that and about how he is growing with God! :) 

4.  Triston's first day of school is today (say a quick prayer for him).  How precious is he!??  He has the happy-excited-nervous look that seems totally appropriate for your first day ever! :)

5.  Celebrating birthdays with Ruth's group (Faye, Ruth, and Charlotte)!

6.  Great talks with Brittany, and that she stops to pray in the middle of conversation when she is thankful for something!!  Love that. :)

7.  Good music!!

Song of the Week = Colder Weather by Zac Brown Band

Hosanna

"Let Your unfailing love surround us, Lord,

for our hope is in You alone!" ~Psalm 33:22

How much do I love this picture?  I'm so excited for Fall, although summer is not so bad now that it's cooled off a bit. I've been in a swimming/running/tennis mood lately, so that's new! lol

So we sang this song at church yesterday - first time I'd heard it - and I really loved it!  In worship, in reading, in friendships and family, in last night's gorgeous hot pink sunset and full moon, etc. God has been close lately, and I love it!  He is so good!! =)

P.S.  With his Love Revolution piano, I'm fairly certain this was at a Joyce Meyer conference, so that makes it doubly great! ;)

MM ~ Family Breakfast

Today's "Memory Monday" is Josh cooking an awesome breakfast for us this weekend!!  (My parents had gone over there for breakfast a few weeks back, but I was sad I missed out on that, so they did it again for me!) =)  We had buscuits and gravy, scrambled eggs, bacon, pancakes, and hashbrowns... and chocolate milk, per my request! ;)  It was all really great, and as usual, it was fun to see the boys!  Around 10am, Rach and Dad went to work and Mom helped Josh clean up the kitchen, and Triston had me read him some Bible stories... so that was adorable and fun.  They really are hilarious and cute... and remind me of me and Rach as far as the oldest/youngest thing.  Carter was super-excited and playing and not helping Triston clean up all their toys (and put them in the exact right spot - he knows where each color goes), and Triston looked at me and said, "He's only 3, so he doesn't really know better."  Haha, precious!

 Carter playing with his saw and Triston ready to hang up his clothes. lol

 Josh cooking the gravy!

 Me reading T-man the story of Joseph from the Adventure Bible! :)  He had a thousand questions about the pictures, and was more interested in the animals than anything else. lol

 Carter climbing on Rach's comfy red chair!

 Triston walking his puppy. 

And Carter imitating Josh and attempting a push-up! lol
I love having nephews! :)

Thankful Thursday (35)

"But let the godly rejoice.  Let them be glad in God's presence.  Let them be filled with JOY!"  ~Psalm 68:3

Today, I thank God for...
1.  My wonderful new roommate, Brittany!!  =)  Love her... and love her dad and her brother, Bradford!  (...and I'm sure I would love the rest of her family as well. lol)

2.  My awesome (coming soon) fancy DSLR camera, courtesy of Dad's State Farm points! Yay!!

3.  Relaxing pool time with Natalie and Bobbi this weekend! :)

4.  Ruth's group... we had a prayer night this Tuesday, and it was really great!

5.  Getting to see one of the defendants hold his newborn baby for the first time yesterday in court (he stood up and interrupted to ask if that would be possible... and I was really happy Judge said yes!)
6.  His Word, and that I've had more desire for it lately... loving Nehemiah right now!
7.  Heaven is for Real (read it!) and Akiane Kramarik's painting of Jesus, which I want a copy of...

Song of the Week = Forever by Uncle Jesse =)  ...ha, because it came on my ipod this morning and made me happy.

MM ~ Photobucket

A picture really is worth a thousand words... so many memories.

Today's "Memory Monday" is pretty much the years 2006 and 2007. lol  I won't do too many super-specific memories through that time period.  I had to save a picture on Photobucket while helping Rach set up her blog recently (yay!)... and I was surprised to find several pictures saved there that I hadn't seen in quite a while!  It's sooo strange to look back on this period of my life... it almost feels like a dream, like it wasn't really me or it never really happened.  "Now it's entirely clear to me why I've chosen to BLOCK IT OUT!" lol  Kidding, sort of.  I am thankful I still have a few pictures to remember it by... and I know the changes have been for the best, but seeing all these pictures, I really miss Sarah Bliss!

 "The clones" -- before dinner at Chili's (a regular event as Josh worked there) -- David's Bridal (before they kicked us out) -- Reading He's Just Not That Into You as we stayed at a hotel in OKC! lol

 Girls Night -- Don Pablos (I miss that too!!) with Sarah, Rach, and Holly Dei -- Courtney massaging Sarah -- Our old piano (another thing I miss) -- Sarah and I at the Bravo Fountain -- Josh and Sarah in Dallas

Kelcey's birthday cookiecake -- "Tuesday night dinner" at Teds! -- Kecey's birthday -- Josh and his adoring fan club (that the 4 of us girls were friends as we all wanted him seems totally strange looking back - I guess misery loves company) -- Mock Trial -- baking cupcakes on Valentine's Day!

 Olive Garden -- Steak & Shake -- Kelcey's birthday -- Dallas trip -- Mock Trial with Joe Crow!

Random stop at the Gene Autry Museum :) -- Rach, Holly, Megs, and I at Don Pablos -- The cousins! --Wes playing American Idol -- Tuesday night dinner crowd (x3) =) -- Ty and I at the Golden Gate Bridge -- Jenny and I at her v-ball game -- the fam -- working to put the top down after OSU game -- Teds -- Splash Mountain -- Vegas with Rach and Ty -- Florida with Justin Kunz -- Josh and I before OSU game -- Parasailing with Rach --  Megs in Homecoming -- Jenny and I at Hannah Bullard's wedding -- CHA V-ball game with Wes and Josh -- my junior year JSB -- Dallas trip with the girls -- homecoming with Ethan -- Michael, me, Rach, and Justin!  (This one was my screensaver back in those days.) :)

Thankful Thursday (34)

"So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in Him, rooted and built up in Him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness."  ~Colossians 2:6,7

Today, I thank God for...

1. That there's no doubt in my heart that I belong to Him!!
2. That I am sealed in Him... (Beth taught on this and it was awesome!)  "Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us, set His seal of ownership on us, and put His Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come."  2 Cor. 1:22
3. Getting the afternoon off and getting to go to OKC and celebrate Dad's birthday with the fam yesterday!
4. Rain. :)
5. My friendship with Malori, and that she builds my confidence and never makes me feel that I need to change myself!!

       6.  Panera lunch with Natalie and Laura after church on Sunday! :)
       7.  Mardel Christian Bookstore! :)  I bought myself two new books this week, and Mom and I got
            Josh his first real Bible (he prefers the NLT translation - yay!) and a little storybook Bible for
            Triston and Carter! 

Song of the Week = One and Only by Adele!
"Have I been on your mind?  You hang on every word I say, lose yourself in time at the mention of my name.  Will I ever know how it feels to hold you close, and have you tell me whichever road I choose, you'll go?"
(Youtube is being stupid, but hopefully the link will work.)

RaNdOMnEsS!

• This picture makes me happy...

• Laura and I are going to run the Quarter Marathon (around 6.5 miles) this October... I'm actually really excited for that! =) With this major heat wave, I've missed being outside and jogging LaFortune.
• I'm really thirsty right now, and I've run out of water at work... sadness!  Definitely going to the store during lunch.
• I have still never been to Colorado, and I find that absurd.  I believe I would love it there, and I hope to go sometime in the near future!

• I still want to go to London during the 2012 Olympics... but I'm thinking there's probably no way I can afford that. :(
• I am so so so ready for Fall!
• It took me way too long to realize that "A-a-a-andy and the Tuna" was to the tune of "B-b-b-benny and the Jets."
• I've been reading nutrition info and trying some of the exercises from www.bodyrock.tv.  Hooray for Zuzana! lol
• I'm making an effort to stop "giggling" all the time!  There are times when I'm living in my own little dreamworld and laughing about something I've thought of that has nothing to do with the people around me, but that's not what I'm talking about - I'm talking about mindlessly laughing every time I smile at someone or add something to the conversation.  I'm completely unaware of it most of the time, and honestly, I don't know if it's something I've always done or not?  I do know that I never heard one person comment on it before June 12, 2007... and since then, at least 20 people have said something.  So that troubles me, and I know it sometimes makes other people uncomfortable (sooo not my goal) or makes them think I'm really nervous (not true).  Anyway, my new goal is to be more aware and be done with that!
• An added bonus will be hearing the word "chuckle" less often! :)
• Probably good there's not one closer to me, because I <3 Panera's four-cheese souffles and breakfast sandwiches!!  YUM. =)

• Breakfast is always my favorite meal of the day, actually... even soggy bran flakes cereal is awesome to me.  Mmmm... I like cereal, muffins, scrambled eggs, fruit, pancakes, english muffins, bagels, waffles, egg and cheese buscuits, souffles, etc. better than any lunch item I can think of!
• I often struggle to get up, but when I do, I LOVE the feeling of being productive in the morning before work... having my workout and quiet time done, and getting to cook and eat a relaxed breakfast after I get ready.  :)
• (They played this song at the wedding on Saturday, but cut if off before the last verse, which is my favorite...)  "Praise His name, I'm fixed upon it.  Name of God's redeeming love...  Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it.  Prone to leave the God I love.  Here's my heart, O take and seal it.  Seal it for Thy courts above."