Thursday, March 27, 2014

Thankful Thursday (65)

Writing a Thankful Thursday post because after this morning in court, I need to focus on some things that will restore my faith in humanity.  And God's grace toward us!

Today, I am thankful that God cares about our smallest problems; that He wants to heal us; and that with Him, nothing is broken beyond repair.  I am THANKFUL that the Kingdom of Christ, the restored rule of Jesus, IS coming, and hopefully coming soon!!  

I am thankful that He knows exactly how to comfort and heal and minister to those who need it most.  I am thankful that He is truly able to love the sinner while hating the sin, because that is often a hard line for me and for most people, I think.  I'm thankful that He is not only loving, but also just... that He is the Ancient of Days who sees, hears, and knows everything, and that He will bring justice and deal with evil for Satan and for people who refuse to turn to Jesus.  I am very thankful that my sins are covered through the blood and resurrection of Jesus, and that God loves me and sees not only who I am but who I will become.  

I am thankful that God's love is patient.  Thankful that He is kind.  Thankful that He is healing my heart even now.  Thankful for Starbucks nights with friends who exude genuine love and kindness and joy (that's you, Kelly Marie and Lauralai Bower).  Thankful for celebrations and new paths and things that keep life exciting (congrats to Chet for passing the state test, and to TLT for working toward publishing her book)!  Thankful for laughter and fun and friendship, for having a community of wonderful friends where I feel accepted and supported, where I feel like I belong.  Thankful for two puppies whose boundless energy and excitement and love keep my heart soft and help ward off negative emotions. :)  Thankful for parents who love me, pray for God's best for me, and encourage me to move forward and focus on what is good.  Thankful for Rach and Josh and my adorable nephews and niece!  

Thankful that regardless of how I may feel, nothing in me is broken beyond repair - that God heals and restores and sets my heart free to trust and love others.  Thankful for words of wisdom, both in Scripture and from friends, that have been so helpful in this season.  Thankful that I don't have to somehow prove myself or my worth and purpose for my life to matter deeply to God.  Thankful for the words of Christian authors that connect with my heart and help me to keep growing.

Thankful that no matter how royally broken and messed up society may be, I am called to be a light in the midst of the darkness.  Thankful that with God and His Word and Godly friends, my soul can be flooded with warmth and light when darkness is near and surrounds us.  On a day that involved some heavy and dark moments, I am thankful for the light and the hope that is mine in Jesus!!  I am thankful to be fully known and understood and loved, that my heart can rest and breathe -- rest and breathe -- in His presence.

"Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my HOPE is in Him.  He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will not be shaken.  My victory and honor come from God alone.  He is my refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me."
~Psalms 62:5-7

The Lord has promised good to me;
His Word, my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be,
As long as life endures!

"You also must be patient. Strengthen your hearts, because the Lord's coming is near."  
~James 5:8

"We who have fled to Him for refuge can have great confidence AS WE HOLD TO THE HOPE THAT LIES BEFORE US.  We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure!"  ~Hebrews 6:19

Monday, March 24, 2014

MM ~ A "Pitch Perfect" Spring Break!

And now for the first Memory Monday post in a long while:  =)

This week was "Spring Break," but Judge decided to come in for Monday and Tuesday, so I worked on scoping jury voir dire those days - great times. :(  Wednesday, I went to Lexus for an oil change (and read more of Bittersweet and drank their hot chocolate), then that night we had a movie night at my place!

The six of us (Tall Kyle was skiing so he couldn't join us) met at Five Guys Burgers and got our food to go.  
{Side note: I'm so very thankful for this group!!  I feel like we have fun together and we encourage each other and we have similar values... I found myself thinking a lot this week about how great it would be to have a LifeGroup with the Vegas peeps and a few others.  Not sure that'll ever happen, but I know I'm thankful for the time we do get to spend together, no matter what we're doing!}

I like that JEM has decided to just embrace my love of cheesy pictures. lol  And it cracks me up when he imitates the baby voice I use for Bellsy and Sammis! :)  You just can't talk to puppies in a regular voice.  You just can't.

The "30's club" as Chet called us, celebrating these cute, vintage cereal boxes - Laura's not sure what Jeff is doing, but following along nicely. lol

Watching Pitch Perfect - I assumed the guys would love it, and I was right! :)  About halfway through, Chet said, "Why did I think this was a baseball movie!?" lol  Now we're all excited for the sequel!

Thursday, Mom came to Creek County and we had an "organizing party" for Laura's new office! :)  We went through things from the prior bailiffs and organized the cabinets and shelves and drawers and made a lot of good progress!  And we ate Hideaway Pizza and mini-M&Ms while we were at it.  Then Mom headed to OKC, and I went home to pick up two puppies and we all headed to OKC - they're so funny in the car!

Friday - the first day that really felt like a day off - I slept in, then went to Rach's house.  Mom, Rach, and I took Jaceman and Kyndal to the playground at CHA (they were on Spring Break, so we were the only ones there, which was awesome).  Things have changed so much since Rach and I went there, all for the better!  They played for a while, I took pictures then held Missy K, Rach and I randomly jogged a lap, then we went to Panera for lunch. :)

I loved spending the afternoon with Jaceman - swinging and throwing rocks and listening to him make the Yak sound and trying to decipher his version of English. lol  And I loved hanging out with Miss Kyndal - holding her while Rach and Jace took a nap - she's just so soft and cuddly and happy and precious!!



Bellsy posing for her Glamour Shots. lol  She loves to look out at me from the bushes in Mom and Dad's backyard. :)

That night (Friday), TLT and I had dinner at MiMi's Cafe (yum, always a favorite!) and then went to Penn's AMC to see Divergent!  Tara loved the reclining seats (picture below - cute but blurry)! :)  Good movie, but for the record, the book is 1,000 times better than the movie.  They mostly begin and end the same way, but the middle was changed to a ridiculous degree.

Tara and I had a really great conversation - about creativity and writing, about friendships, about the ups and downs of life, about how we both feel like we're in a long-awaited winter-to-spring transition, about how cocooning is necessary for a caterpillar to transform into a butterfly.  Yeah, we were all over the place, but it was good.  As it's always good to be understood and accepted and cheered on!  We talked in MiMi's parking lot past 1am, and ended with a high five for 2014! lol

Saturday, I slept in till noon (awesomeness!), texted back and forth with JEM and Chettles about their weekend at the Bear-athon, talked to Dad about the men's group he's been leading, went to see God's Not Dead with Dad at Harkins, caught up on Jimmy Fallon (and the epic Kevin Bacon Footloose entrance!), held and played with Mini-Miss (Kyndal) for a while, read a bit, had Scholtzskys for dinner, and added pics to Facebook. :)

Sunday was LifeChurch (which made me wanna buy Erwin McManus' new book, The Artisan Soul - I'm really a fan of him, and I appreciated him delving into the doubt and pain that often comes with Christianity!), then lunch at Longhorn Steakhouse with all the fam, where we celebrated birthdays -- ALL the birthdays (me, Rach, Blake, Jace - February; Emily - March; T-man and Carter - April) -- the Kelly Clarkson lookalike waitress brought out several ice cream sundaes for the birthdays, so that was awesome!  Before we left, we took some "Generation Pics" - of the four generations present, both men and women! :)  So that was cool!  The rest of the day was spent napping, playing with the puppies, dinner with Mom and Dad, and finally driving back to Tulsa (where I caught up on some TV shows and started this happy blog)!

Generation Pic of the men, Grandpa and a very coy looking Missy K, T-man with his Gummy Lifesavers, and Jaceman swinging with Mamaw, saying "CHEESE!" =)

Generation Pic of the women, JB and I eating ice cream sundaes, Missy K in her little carrier, and Emily holding her (Rach took a class and made that bow for her - super cute!).  She's also teaching a wreath making class tonight for the first time, so that's pretty fun! :)

I'm kind of obsessed with the cuddly cuteness that is Missy K! lol  I love this pic of Dad holding her.  Rach and Jace at CHA playground, Rach and Kyndal on what was probably her first slide, me holding Kyndal as she slept ever so peacefully.  I 'heart' being an aunt! lol

So all in all, it was a great "Spring Break" week!  And now I'm back to work, needing to work extra hard this week to complete everything I want to by the end of this month!  So wish me luck on that. lol

Random fun video of my puppies:


Song of the Week = Just the Way You Are / Just a Dream Mash-up from Pitch Perfect! :)

Monday, March 17, 2014

Like a room without a roof!

Photo Update:
Girls' night at Pinot's Palette with Talhia and Terrie... a lot of fun, and I love how they turned out! (We all did our word for the year - Talhia's is "love," so she did the couple on the bridge instead, which is really cute.)

The painting process was a lot of fun, as was the epic 90's background soundtrack! lol
{Fun Sidenote:  Talhia has asked me to be her wedding photographer this September in Central Park - I'm really excited/nervous!!}

While we were celebrating my 30th in Vegas, Kristin and Frankie were celebrating Anthony's 2nd birthday in heaven with a balloon release at the cemetery.  I was sad to miss it.  I love this picture, and I love them.

{Side note again:  She found out she's having another boy, Diesel Eugene, and everything is going very smoothly with this pregnancy so far, praise the Lord!  Keep them in your prayers, please.}

Please also be praying for Jenni and the Kufahl family.  Her cancer has taken a major turn for the worse, and the doctors are not optimistic.  She is a wife and a mother of seven, and her family is well known and beloved at CHA.  Anyway, all prayers for healing, wisdom, comfort, etc. would be appreciated!

I hosted the women's LG on March 4th - Kelly brought lemon cupcakes with cream cheese frosting to celebrate Angela's birthday - yum!  We're going through A Confident Heart by Renee Swope right now, which has been really good!!

My preciously happy niece, Missy K (aka Kyndal Faith) with a bow as big as her head... the cutest baby on the planet! =)

Future cowgirl and cowboy, perhaps! :)

Pet IDs for my girls - adorable and hilarious!  They have now doubled in size (from 2 and 3 pounds to 4 and 5.5 pounds).  Watch out, world - there's no stopping them now! lol

Two of the best things that came out of 2013 - I just love them!!!

And finally, Lindsey and Lauralai's DAY OF FUN! (a la Joey and Janice, in case you missed that Friends reference).  Laura asked me to be her date to Travis and Blair's wedding this Saturday, and it was so much fun!  I finally got to meet Ashley's girls, Cassie and Gabby, and they entertained us through the Afternoon Tea reception.  So many good ideas from that wedding - hopefully I'll get to put them to good use someday!  We got to hang out with Tara Jane (who was the lovely Maid of Honor) and experience a helicopter send-off, which was pretty awesome!  One of the best wedding/receptions I've been to in a long time.  If I do a church wedding, I'm definitely getting married at FUMC - so pretty!

Here's my green in honor of St. Patrick's Day!
Hope it's been a good one!

This quote rang so true for me.  I'd change it a little to "The reason most people find it so hard to be happy is that they tend to see the past..." but other than that, it's pretty spot on, and something worth correcting!

A few quick thoughts/quotes:
  • I recently heard about a mom who painted and decorated her child's nursery in the midst of being worried about a possible miscarriage.  I love that!  I applaud people who celebrate joy and focus on hope even in the face of fear that their greatest joy may be taken away... Brene Brown talked about that, how refusing to celebrate the joyful moments with others doesn't lessen or cushion your heartache if it ends poorly; it simply robs you of shared joy on one side and compassion on the other.  So hooray for celebrating and choosing love over fear!
  • Sad sadness - Army Wives is officially over.  I watched "The Final Salute" looking back over it all tonight... it included a detailed recap of Jeremy's funeral and other poignant moments from the show.  Needless to say, I cried several times.  I miss Claudia Joy, Denise, Pamela, Roxy, and Roland already!!
  • Tip:  If ever you're in a car accident (assuming you're not terribly injured), I highly recommend writing down everything you can remember that day or the next day, ASAP after the wreck.  Where were you and which direction were you going?  What color and model was the car that hit you?  What was the traffic like?  How fast were you and the other car going?  Were other cars involved?  How close were they when you first saw them?  Etc.  It took almost two years for my car wreck to make it to trial, but I was asked each of those questions that day.  (Hooray for my "Memory Monday" post right after the wreck.)  Anyway, if it never goes to trial, it'd at least be interesting to read someday once you've forgotten the little details.  So write it down!!
  • I've realized relationships are like rooms with adjoining doors - each person has to open their door (their heart) to let the other in, and both can go in and out and share each other's space as they get to know each other.  When someone closes their door to you, you will never have closure until you close your door to that person, period.  Sometimes you might not want total closure (like when someone dies or when you're holding onto false hope).  But when it's a gaping reminder and you need the closure, all you have to do is choose to close the door and move forward.  In that way, "closure" is much easier and more in our control than we often make it out to be.  And I'm glad for that!
  • Am I the only one that kinda wishes "Kid President" would "retire" already? lol  Surely at least Rach is on board with me.  Everyone's obsessed with those videos, and I just don't get it.  I find kids that age who find themselves adorable quite annoying.  Blarg.
  • The main reason I'm glad the Olympics are over is no longer having to see the "Every victory begins with a bite" McDonald's commercial. Painfully ridiculous. lol
  • So excited to see Divergent on Friday!
  • Funny/awesome - thanks to a lengthy jury voir dire, we found out that of the 36 people called to serve on our jury, all but two have guns in their home (and I do mean guns, plural - most of them had several) - and of the two that didn't, one gave a speech in support of them and the other owns a gun but moved it out of her home for a bit because her son is on probation. lol  "Oooooklahoma!"
  • "For I will fully satisfy the weary soul, and I will replenish every languishing and sorrowful person." ~God (Jeremiah 31:25)
  • "Winter and Spring struggling for dominance... An outward expression of an internal reality: Everywhere you look, you can see the world as it is and the world as it could be. Winter and Spring. Old and new. Despair and hope. Death and life... Winter threaten(s) to conquer but Spring prevail(s) in the end. Spring wins. It always has. It always will. And that, my friends, is the very best of news." ~Ben Nockels 
  • "We are commanded to love our neighbors as ourselves. The thing is – we will. We will love others as we love ourselves... whether we want to or not. It will leak out.  How we treat our hearts is the way we will treat others. And it matters."  ~Stasi Eldredge  
  • I really love that reminder not to be harsh or dismissive toward myself, not to put too much pressure on myself, but to be kind to my own heart - so that I can be kind to others as well!!
  • And one more time, Happy Saint Patrick's Day!!
Song of the Week = Happy by Pharrell, (to go with my bright and happy new blog look, inspired by Spring and Summer!)  I know it's old to some of you, but I'm just discovering it, and it's pretty fun!!

Sunday, March 16, 2014

Birthday Boo

We now interrupt this blogging break to say 
HAPPY 8th BIRTHDAY to the little Boo puppy!! =)

A recent pic of Buddy n' Boo ready to travel! :)  Totes adorbs.
...jk, don't hate me.

They were a big part of what inspired me to get my very own presh Pom puppies, Sam n' Ella (or Sammis and Bellsy, if you're keeping track of the nickname changes)!  These girls will celebrate their 1st Birthday on October 24th this year, so go ahead and mark your calendars for that party, 'cause it's happening! lol  This cuteness demands to be celebrated. :)

Sunday, March 9, 2014

The Divergent Trilogy

(Finally finished the books!  Doing my best to avoid spoilers here...)

Some of my highlighted quotes:

"Human reason can excuse any evil; that is why it's so important that we don't rely on it."

"I used to think that cruelty required malice, but that is not true.  Jeanine has no reason to act out of malice.  But she is cruel because she doesn't care what she does, as long as it fascinates her.  I may as well be a puzzle or a broken machine she wants to fix."

"I want to tear him to pieces.  Instead of trying to, though, I find myself sitting down again.  I could never hurt him enough to make his betrayal stop hurting.  And it hurts, in every part of my body."

"Every faction loses something when it gains a virtue:  the Dauntless, brave but cruel; the Erudite, intelligent but vain; the Amity, peaceful but passive; the Candor, honest but inconsiderate; the Abnegation, selfless but stifling."

"I"m wondering if I need it anymore, if we ever really need these words.  "Dauntless," "Erudite," "Divergent," "Allegiant," or if we can just be friends or lovers or siblings, defined instead by the choices we make and the love and loyalty that binds us... I belong to the people I love, and they belong to me - they, and the love and loyalty I give them, form my identity far more than any word or group ever could."

"I am still alive, even in this strange place where everything I've ever known is coming apart.  I know some things - I know that I'm not alone, that I have friends, that I'm in love.  I know where I came from.  I know that I don't want to die, and for me, that's something - more than I could have said a few weeks ago."

"I know the beauty he sees is just freedom - freedom to be seen as a whole man instead of a damaged one."

"I don't know how it would feel, to hate your own history and to crave love from the people who gave that history to you at the same time.  How have I never seen the schism inside his heart?  How have I never realized before that for all the strong, kind parts of him, there are also hurting, broken parts?"

"I fell in love with him.  But I don't just stay with him by default as if there's no one else available to me.  I stay with him because I choose to, every day that I wake up, every day that we fight or lie to each other or disappoint each other.  I choose him over and over again, and he chooses me."

"Abnegation was just as broken as the other factions, but its evils were less obvious, cloaked as they were in the guise of selflessness.  But requiring a person to disappear, to fade into the background wherever they go, is no better than encouraging them to punch one another."

"They believe there is no reasoning with us, no appealing to our better natures.  They decided it would be easier to erase us than to speak with us."

"I know that change is difficult, and comes slowly, and that it is the work of many days strung together in a long line until the origin of them is forgotten.  He is afraid that he will not be able to put in that work, that he will squander those days, and that they will leave him worse off than he is now. And I understand that feeling - I understand being afraid of yourself."

"People talk about the pain of grief, but I don't know what they mean.  To me, grief is a devastating numbness, every sensation dulled... I keep finding myself stifled by the company of others and then crippled by loneliness when I leave them.  I am terrified and I don't even know of what, because I have lost everything already... I grind the heels of my hands into my eyes like I can push my tears back into my skull.  No crying, I chastise myself.  If I let a little of the emotion out, all of it will come out, and it will never end."

"Maybe just as skin on a hand grows tougher after pain in repetition, a person does too.  But I don't want to become a calloused man.  There are other kinds of people in this world... Appearing in front of me is another choice, brighter and stronger than the ones I gave myself."

"Sometimes bravery involves laying down your life for something bigger than yourself, or for someone else.... But sometimes it doesn't.  Sometimes it is nothing more than gritting your teeth through pain, and the work of every day, the slow walk toward a better life.  That is the sort of bravery I must have now."

"Since I was young, I have always known this:  Life damages us, every one.  We can't escape that damage.  But now, I am also learning this:  We can be mended.  We mend each other."

Some Final Thoughts:

I've already written several times about the first two books.  In all seriousness, I think God timed my reading these books for when I would need them most, so I'm thankful for that. :) 

The character I identified with most was Johanna Reyes, and it was really cool to see her transformation through the series, particularly her strength in no longer allowing her scars to define her or cause her to hide.  Without discussing the plot in detail, for me, the first book (DIVERGENT) was about the significance of choosing where you fit in and how you label yourself.  The second (INSURGENT) was about choosing whether you're willing to fight for something and who to align yourself with.  And the third (ALLEGIANT) was about choosing to overcome the past and cast off the negative labels bestowed on you by others.

In the final book, based on genetic factors, the government divides the people into two categories:  pure and damaged.  The "genetically damaged" population was expected to behave poorly and think irrationally, and they were treated as expendable and less than those with "pure genes."  The "genetically pure" were automatically held in high esteem and their lives treated as valuable and worthy of protection.

This genetic damage concept struck a real chord with me and how I worry that others view depression .  No one wants to be viewed as damaged, especially in a way that they cannot change or control.  The genetically damaged in the book hate that label, but fighting against it only seems to add fuel to the fire.  They talk about wanting the "freedom to be seen as a whole man instead of a damaged one."  As for the government's treatment of them, they say, "They believe there is no reasoning with us, no appealing to our better natures.  They decided it would be easier to erase us than to speak with us."  I know that it hurts to be treated that way, and to feel that nothing you say to defend yourself will be taken seriously.  But the book went on to show that what matters most is how you see yourself, and that no one has to accept or internalize the negative labels others place on them.  A good reminder that I have a choice, and I can choose to see myself as whole and healed... and the more I make that choice and surround myself with people who see me that way, the more I will become that person!

The concept of 'experimenting' by observing the suffering of others from a comfortable distance rather than stepping in to help them was well-timed.  The final book also highlighted forgiveness and letting go of revenge as the only way to move past betrayal.  And another thing I loved was that it showed the importance of grief and painful memories in shaping our character.  My thoughts shifted from loving the idea of "resetting" myself (erasing every painful memory and starting fresh) to thinking that would be a cowardly, destructive choice.  God absolutely knows what He's doing, and I've experienced each negative thing I've gone through for a reason.  I am who I am because of each part of my past, the good and the bad, and I am proud of who I am now and I love who I am becoming.  The final quote ("We can be mended.  We mend each other.") also resonates with me.  To the friends and family whose love and loyalty have helped and continue to help me to mend, I say a very sincere and heartfelt THANK YOU!!

There is a lot more to the plot that I'm not discussing here, of course, but these quotes and concepts were what spoke to my heart at this point in my life.  Anyway, good books.  Highly recommend them! :)  SO EXCITED for the movie this month!!