JUNE 2023!

 QUOTE OF THE MONTH:

Victories, Big and Small:

• Wrestling with God -->Repentance --> being more watchful and obedient in resisting the "pull of the world" (highly recommend this Eldredge podcast, although I'll admit I put it off at first because I knew it would be convicting) :/
• After stressing and praying and researching other potential job options, I prayed some more and spoke with multiple judges about my upcoming Practicum.  Long story short - they were kind and supportive and willing to work with my new schedule, so I'll be able to keep my job and benefits, which is major!  Praising God for that, for sure. ❤
• Completed two summer classes (Groups and Psychopathology) & started two more (Eating Disorders and Multicultural Counseling)!
• Mom started radiation on 6-12-23.  Praising God for no side effects thus far - (two weeks to go - keep the prayers coming)!!
• God also protected Michelle and I (and Ginny the Genesis) through the crazy hailstorm on our drive back from CO!
• Home visit with Haley to update my home study + applied with Nightlight Christian Adoptions (who recently began working with single women - hooray)!
• Reading Ezekiel 18 + James 1 (not daily, but often this month).  Relevant themes = freedom from generational sin, personal responsibility before God, seeking God's wisdom with an undivided heart (resisting the pull of the world), and caring for orphans!

Partial Successes/Areas for Improvement:

• Limiting my social media, TV shows, and podcasts (focusing on purifying my heart and keeping an attuned and clear conscience -- still a daily effort)
• Stupid stress eating + worrying over things I cannot control

Memories:

• Buying last minute Hamilton tickets + taking Triston on June 1st
• Pizza night at the Wilsons as Karli recovered from eye surgery! That day ended with some of my fav rainy-day pics with Tate and Parker (center pic below)
• 20+ hours of getting to know Michelle on our Colorado road trip!
• Summer Residency 2 at CCU (recap here)
• Getting to see Carter Lee and Emberlee + meet and pet Carter's show horse
• Participating in a video interview about Jon and Kristin's journey to adoption, a keepsake they're creating for Miles and Hope
• Celebrating Father's Day + Mom & Dad's 42nd Anniversary
• Planning ahead with Marla at our CR seminar in OKC
• Attending 2 Al-Anon groups (class requirement, got more out of it than I expected)
• Coach Rachael made her debut with Kyndal's summer volleyball team - fun!
• Major storm damage for Tulsa friends - Sarah and Steve's cars were totaled when a massive tree fell in their driveway =(
• Starting to plan for Dad's 40th SF anniversary and 70th birthday this August!
• Transformers movie night with Jace and Kyndal + hearing J give a lengthy and impressively-detailed recap of movies 1-5
• Helping T-man practice with a mock-interview
• Summer swim and long overdue catch-up with the Wilson and Fulton families happening later today!
• Fun fact: One year ago today, I learned that I had been accepted to the program at CCU - YAY!

Listened To:

• Cues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication by Vanessa Van Edwards
• Anatomy of the Soul by Curt Thompson, MD (I'll recap these in my July book post)
• The usual podcasts!

Lessons Learned:

• From personal experience - It's worth asking... I liked the idea of some company for the 10-hour drive to Colorado, and two days before the trip, I checked to see if Michelle might want to ride with me, and she said yes - yay!
• From John Eldredge and Ezekiel 18 and James 1 - God wants individual heart-level obedience, so no more overriding my conscience and measuring myself against others to justify things that feel like small infractions in our culture.  Some of my favorite shows have to go, but it's been a pretty ridiculous flesh vs. Spirit battle on that.
• From Dr. Philip - "We are called to identify with Jesus" as we read the gospels... this short part of her devotional was an unexpected paradigm shift for me... more on that in a future post.
• From Dr. Bienert - As Christian professionals, we honor the individual made in God's image by referring to them as "a person struggling with substance use disorder" or "a person in recovery" --  putting their humanity first and not attaching the negative label of "addict" or "alcoholic" to anyone's identity.  That CCU session + the Al-Anon groups were important in softening my heart, and I'm working on changing the way I think and speak there!

Welcome back to the blog, friends!!  Who knows if this June break will help deter unwanted blog traffic?  Either way, it came at a good time for me.  God is doing some construction work in my heart and life, so it's been a very challenging month and a month with a lot to celebrate.  Looking at it from the outside in, not a lot has changed.  But metaphorically speaking, I am mid-way through the Red Sea.  I am acutely aware of some internal shifts.  It's an intense, slightly-overwhelming, transformative season of trusting God to move some things I cannot move + watching Him work miracles on my behalf + gradually letting go of my comfort zone and disentangling myself from familiar sin strongholds + sensing that my spiritual enemy is coming after me + slowly pushing forward through fear and doubt, not looking back + knowing God has my back and seeing fresh light and hope ahead of me + understanding there will be more battles ahead to occupy new ground and take possession of all that God intends for me! ❤

God is with us and for us, so one step at a time, we keep moving forward.  For "we do not belong to those shrink back and are destroyed, but to those who have faith and are saved!" (Heb. 10:39)

Gracious, what a month it's been.  I hope you're doing well and basking in God's grace, and I hope your summer is off to a fun start!  I am super thankful to have the day off to catch up with good friends on this happy Friday.

Congrats to us all on getting through the first half of 2023!!  Welcome to month number 7 tomorrow, the birth-month of our nation and several of my favorite people.  Onward and upward - here's to finishing strong!

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

People, Places, & Purpose

❤ Residency 2 Recap - June 7-12, 2023 ❤

Dr. Burkhart reminded us that many of our clients will come in with a presenting problem they view as unrelated, yet they will be struggling with a lack of quality relationships, safe places, and/or a sense of meaning and purpose.  He said it's our job to gently address those things as we work with them toward full recovery.  As I considered his words later, I felt grateful for this season that feels unusually rich with God-given people, places, and purpose!

Anyway, I'll start with photos and captions then throw in a few personal thoughts at the end.  No doubt I'll keep it super brief. lol

I sent a last-minute text invite, and Michelle joined me for this road trip to Colorado - yay!  She is also in the program and was planning to drive separately, but this was a blessing for both of us for the company and friendship... and I was happy to have Michelle's spot-on directional sense and bold willingness to drive us through rush-hour Denver traffic and a lengthy hailstorm!

Fun Fact:  Michelle and I were friends as tiny children. =)  Mom and Dad met each other at a party hosted by Michelle's parents, Terry and Martha.  Terry was a groomsman in their wedding, and Martha taught with JoBug at Deer Creek for several years!  Over time, our families lost touch.  We had not seen each other in approximately 30 years, and then we ended up in this CCU program together and got to catch up on ALL OF LIFE. =)

This = Michelle, JoBug, and baby me!

I love the CCU campus!  The presence of Jesus permeates through the whole atmosphere.  They are bold in honoring the Word of God, and it has a powerful, strengthening effect to see Scripture posted everywhere you go! ❤

My roommate and new friend, Rachel, a pastor's wife and great mom from Florida with a Christlike heart for people recovering from substance use disorder!

Rachel joined me for In-N-Out burgers the first night, along with a couple dining hall breakfasts and good roommate talks at night.  I really enjoyed getting to know her better!

I stayed in the CCU dorms this time, a solid decision both financially and relationally!  We had a 3-bedroom suite with a full kitchen and living room.  Each room had two beds, two desks, and a bathroom -- it was me and Rachel, Michelle and Amy, & Lauren and Joy.  This is our dorm building.

Thursday was Amy's 42nd birthday.  Michelle decorated with banners, photos, balloons, and birthday hats!  This = Amy, Michelle, Joy, me, and Lauren (3 Okies and 2 Texans)

Michelle and Amy have been close friends for the past 20 years.  I have several mutual friends with them through CHA circles and family stuff, and it's pretty cool that God brought us all here at the same time!

A random thing I love about the CCU campus is seeing so many adorable bunnies... just hopping around with their hypervigilant personalities and cute little bunny-button feet! ❤  I saw at least 12 of them over the course of these 5 days, along with turtles and ducks... and zero bugs.  Hooray!!

In addition to the role plays and learning about mental health diagnoses, our small group experiences included Art Therapy, Meditation, and Music Therapy... all interesting and fun for me!

Joyce (another Texan) joined us for Ted's Montana Grill for Amy's birthday dinner! ❤

One of my favorite verses, right there in our dorm lobby.

 On day 2, Jonathan and Matthew joined us for dinner at Beau Jo's Pizza (yum).  Amy and I both had our cars on campus, and Joy and Jonathan rode with me.

Excellent food - this pizza reminded me of Sam n' Ella's! =)

We spent a regrettably short amount of time together, but I was profoundly impressed with these men.  Jonathan (left) is a caring husband and father, a licensed attorney and registered nurse before God called him into counseling.  He is also an exceptional writer, and he served for several years as a Pastoral Counselor in Cambodia.  Matt and his wife serve as foreign missionaries with an anti-human trafficking team.  They are close friends and were roommates for this Residency.  Matt was insightful and uplifting, and Jonathan felt very much like a younger John Eldredge in the making - you know I don't say that lightly.  I'm so glad they are training to become counselors - the world needs more solid men of God willing to enter into the hard things and impart hope and strength to men and women alike.  From what little I observed, they were theologically sound and spoke with compelling boldness and warmth.  All things considered, they stood out because the presence of Jesus was evident in their lives, and my hope is that these new friendships will strengthen.  Praying for God's continued protection for them and their families, that they continue to be faithful to His calling, and for growing influence and anointing.  Yay, Jonathan and Matthew!!

On day 3, I was thrilled to meet Nadine in person, my Zoom role play partner for several sessions in our Ethics class!

That night was the CSI Induction ceremony (Chi Sigma Iota Honor Society).
...Aces, Charles! ;-)

We won't get our official pins till next year, but hooray for building up the resume! =)

Me and Stevie, my role play partner for 3 sessions during Residency!

Considering that I've only been there twice, it's interesting to me how much this beautiful campus feels familiar and home-like... I'm curious what God is up to there... perhaps I'll be back here as a professor down the road!

There was no TV in our dorm suite, so we talked a lot, took walks, cooked, played card games, and went to bed at a decent hour.  It was good for the soul, and I'd like to establish a pattern of more rest and connection + less TV in my regular life!

There were several amazing presentations (not one of which was boring to me), but this one on substance use disorder was unexpectedly important.  After years of feeling cynical/jaded based on some personal experiences and court cases, I am thankful God is softening my heart and prompting me to walk with Christ-centered grace and hope for people in recovery!

A solid verse on a huge banner in the Anschutz presentation room, another on-campus spot that I love!

I insisted on a last day photo with my small group!
(Sophie, Maggie, Zarria, Nancy, Stevie, Stacey, Sarah, & me)

Capturing one last verse pic as Michelle and I were walking out the door.

I wasn't certain how this would go, having two 10-hour drives with someone I had barely spoken to in 30 years.  But we easily talked the entire drive to Colorado and most of the way back (when we weren't listening to attachment theory podcasts and codependency audiobooks we wanted to share with each other).  We both prayed out loud during the treacherous thick rain and crazy-loud hail that accompanied us for several miles on the drive back - scary times.  I'm so grateful Jesus protected us and kept my car safe from hail damage or spinning out on the slick roads.  Aside from the surprise storm, it was a really great road trip!

In conclusion... thank You, God, for leading me to Colorado Christian University!  I feel seen and inspired and hopeful there, and it's refreshing.  It is a prime atmosphere for personal, professional, and spiritual growth.  I love being surrounded by deep-thinking, empathetic, sincere Christian people from all over the country.  It fills me with hope to worship and learn with them, and I find myself being more outgoing in the midst of this likeminded crowd.  I introduced myself to so many new people and had several emotionally-rich conversations.  I am so. inspired. to keep growing and moving forward.  The professors I've had the privilege of meeting over the past year are all caring, convictional Christians who are making a real impact in the world one life at a time.  Their words hold significantly more weight because their lives back them up, and I sincerely pray that the same will be true of me and my influence on others!

I've been fully committed to this program since my Zoom meeting with Dr. Burkhart (Dean of the School of Counseling) in February.  In several areas where I had only seen walls, God continues to open unexpected doors for me as I gently step forward.  My faith is growing, and my spiritual maturity has to level up, as well.  Dr. Burkhart started this year's event off by telling us that the most important thing we can do over the next 10 weeks to prepare ourselves for Practicum is to seek Jesus, shake off spiritual apathy, and get serious about getting sin out of our lives (which goes along with the work God has been doing in my heart lately).  Dr. Cassellius spoke next, and she had us all stand up and pray each item in the armor of God over ourselves.  That was all within the first couple hours, and I knew we were off to a very good start.

Of course, we talked in detail about counseling techniques, theories, tools, and our educational timeline.  We studied self-regulation, sexual abuse, substance use, and walked through another suicide and safety-plan role play.  There were heavy topics and intense lessons, but woven through it all was the golden hope we have in Jesus and the sense of calling and Kingdom impact we can make in our world through the work of counseling.  I left with a glowing sense of hopeful expectation.  I trust that God is powerfully at work, and I'm excited about the people, places, and purpose that fill my heart today!

❤ ❤ ❤

Kudos to those who read all of this.  You deserve a prize!

This is the only post I wrote during the "break-month" of June - I wanted to capture it while it was all fresh in my mind and heart.