Coffee with cream and sugar, please

I recently heard someone compare bitterness to the bitter yet addictive taste of black coffee... saying that forgiving others and trusting God is like adding cream and sugar to change the bitter taste. I understand the analogy, but I quite disagree with that depiction.

I think when you really trust God, when you go all the way and let go of all offense and bitterness, it's like completely washing out the coffee cup and filling it w/pure water.

However, I think the first analogy is where most people, definitely including me, are in life. After my 2007 experience with friends, I have a lot of bitterness in my heart -- I've called it being "mildly bitter," but I doubt God appreciates that term -- toward so many people. I struggle with pride, jealousy, gossip/slander, manipulation, desire for vengeance, etc. But I'm careful not to let it show too much, to mask it with humor and edgy sarcasm. I add a dose of God and a little kindness to sweeten things up, so my bitterness is not as easy to recognize: The coffee's no longer black, but a friendly shade of brown.

But God wants a clear and transparent life... all bitterness (even the 'mildest') GONE. Even though God is inside me and I spend time with Him and enjoy my family and friends, inner bitterness will cloud it all and keep me from really hearing Him if I allow it to take up residence in my heart.

Yet ignoring conviction is easier than letting go of bitterness. It's not easy to feel used and rejected but keep my mouth shut and love people in return. It's hard to be genuinely happy for others who are getting the things I've been praying for for years. And it's not easy to keep sarcastic comments or interesting stories to myself, even when I know it's wrong to say it. The prideful voice in me is much louder than the whispers of God, so I need to shut it down and tune in to hear Him.

Living for God isn't necessarily complicated, but I would never call it easy!  What's more complicated is halfway living for God while holding on to selfishness and pride. (I think Jesus called it lukewarm, and He wasn't too fond of the taste either.)  It's time for me to make up my mind on whose image am I building, mine or God's!?  I'm tired of the coffee w/cream and sugar routine, but I need God's help becoming pure and transparent.