Birthday Week!

My friends are awesome!  A big thanks to Chet Lee for getting the surprise party road trip together for tonight!!  =)

This has seriously been a birthday week... Mom and Dad and Rach came down for dinner at Teds on Wednesday!  Thursday night, Laura and Kristin and Tara celebrated with me at Bible study.  Friday night was Oscar's B-day at Cheesecake Factory (so guess that one wasn't about me, but still, constant sugar everywhere.)  Also, my b-day present, my new home computer, came in that night!  YAY!  Then tonight was the surprise party at Bravo, complete w/Merritt's chocolate cupcakes and balloons and a HUGE cookie cake!  Oh, and it doesn't end there.  Tomorrow after church, we're meeting Babah and Grandad and JoBug and Blake and Emily to celebrate all our birthdays at Teds (Blake's is Feb. 3rd, Rach the 11th, me the 17th, and Emily on March 17th!)  So tons of awesome food and seeing all the people I love most -- Fun!! 

Anyway, thanks for the bday awesomeness, family and friends! 

With love,

Ranting...

Chuck was not on thanks to the winter Olympics, so last night, I decided to tune in for The Bachelor.  Big mistake... huge. ;-)

I was irate by the time it was over.  I fast forwarded through parts of it because I couldn't quite stomach it, but I'll recap what I did see:  Jake (a semi-arrogant, semi-hot former frat boy that these women have all clearly placed on the god pedestal) is down to his final three women.  First, he goes out w/Gia, which I fast forwarded through.  But even on fast-forward, I could tell there was lots of kissing and hot tub time... mmm, special bonding moments, no doubt.

Next up for her marriage audition was Tenley.  The beautiful, scenic locations and the cameras constantly in their faces make everything about this show fake and nauseating.  Try to have a real conversation with a close friend when there is a camera in your face that you know is broadcasting all across America, and see how well that goes for you.  Added to the normal tension and awkwardness being filmed would create, these are people who just met each other and who both voluntarily signed up to compete in a creepy competition designed to entertain America while looking for their future spouse, so you know right off the bat that they lack wisdom, and probably character, common sense, and basic class and dignity.  It's a natural assumption that building their own image and seeking fame are pretty high on their priority list.  And it makes it all painful to watch.

The producers pay for them to go to these super-romantic locations, then the girl always fawns over it and acts as if the guy thoughtfully set it all up just for her. *Eye roll* Tenley and Jake have a scenic picnic and enjoy a deep talk about how they both love to travel -- wow, two people that love taking vacations!? they must be MFEO -- then they walk across the beach holding hands, where she takes the opportunity to show us all her bikini.  Next, they have dinner and they dance for a second so she can (again) swoon over how romantic he is.  She tells him she's in love with him, and immediately after that, he says to the camera that he's hoping to see if she will open her heart that night.  I'm really biting my tongue on this one... I'm pretty sure she just told you she. is. in. love. with. you, moron, and your only real concern is with whether she'll be open to sex.

And whattayaknow, she's more than willing.  These women make me sick and sad -- each of the three of them went with him back to the "Fantasy Suite," which has to be the dumbest thing on any TV show ever.  Can't make a purchase without a trial run, right?  The girls flip out over how romantic it is with the cheesy rose petals leading right up to the bed.  Once again, the producers and crew spent hours setting that up, and Jake did not lift a finger or put any genuine effort or thought or romantic planning into this awkward, contrived seduction.  Morrrrrrons, all.  Tenley tells him this isn't something she just does on a regular basis and that she has only ever been with her ex-husband.  He says he really respects her morals and values.  Mmhmm. She says she appreciates that because they're really important to her.  Clearly.  He says to the camera that he knows it takes a lot of courage to admit that you've only ever been with one man.  Oh, the embarrassment of not having slept around in the past -- what a great man you are to look past this horrific secret.  Then they hop on back to the fantasy suite so he can remedy that for her.

Cut to commercials... and we're back, where Jake is confidently waiting for woman #3, Vienna.  I mean, seriously - this show is too much!  She also says she's deeply in love with him.  But why, Vienna, whyyy??  I am in pain knowing there are people this stupid and/or women who take this show super seriously.  Jake and Vienna get on an expensive boat the producers planned for them, where she also gladly shows off her bikini.  He says he wants to make sure that his attraction to her isn't only sexual.  Aww, such substance and depth of character in that man.  Then Vienna also elects to go back to the Fantasy Suite - what a surprise!  

So now that he's leaned hard into this false emotional intimacy, taken full advantage of their desperation and vulnerability, and tried all three women out in bed, it's time to make the tough call on who to send packing.  After watching their pathetic video pleas, including the lines, "I can't wait to be your wife" and "I'm completely in love with you" and "You're everything to me" -- after watching those, he says to the camera that he's really afraid he's gonna send home the wrong girl.  Yep.  Super promising for the poor girl he ends up marrying!  Then he comes outside as the show host has lined up his potential future wives, and they all awkwardly stand there, gazing longingly into his confused, non-committal eyes.  It's way too much.  With all the decisive authority of a coin toss, he gives Tenley and Vienna a rose, meaning Gia is outta there...

Oh, but wait, first he gets to take her aside and give her a lil' pep talk for the limo ride home.  Are you freaking kidding me right now!?  He takes her hand and leads her over to this super-random bench, then he tells her how amazing she is and how she'd better make the next guy fight for her because she deserves someone really great.  UGH, get all the way out.  I want to slap him right now!  And her.  And the show's producers, really.  So Gia, the swimsuit model (yes, that's literally her job), heads home devastated.  As shallow and insecure as these women are, it still pains me to watch them be heartbroken and wounded over such an unworthy and obviously confused boy.  After that whole mess, he returns to do an extremely awkward 3-way toast with Tenley and Vienna, whom he calls "the best of the best."  He makes the absurd and hilarious comment to the camera: "I look at Vienna and Tenley, and I see my future wife.  In both of them."
Faaaaaantastic news.

Get ready to step it up and be at your hottest, most passionate, exciting and interesting best, ladies... sex and love are not quite enough, and it's a complete mystery whether anything else you give him will be.  But all of America is watching and judging you, and your marriage audition to win this trophy prize of a frat boy is about to get even more intense.  Can they not see that singleness is a far better choice??  I mean, these women are honestly ready to say yes to a forever marriage proposal from a man who both slept with and told two other women he was in love with them the. night. before.  Yiiiiiikes!

I say let him keep the rose, and you keep what's left of your dignity.

Okaaay, rant over.  I feel a little better having written that. lol  Now I remember why I do not watch this show... I truly cannot take it.  I'm a fan of several reality TV shows, but I firmly believe marriage is far too sacred and serious to make it a cheesy game of who's hottest, most popular, and best in bed!!

I got to watch the Olympic pairs figure skating after all that, and it brought my heart rate back down to normal. =)  Such a powerful and beautiful sport, and I was really happy for the Chinese couple to win the gold!!

Be true to yourself...

Song of the week, because I love Shania, and it's totally perfect for line dancing but they never play it!

Update:  God is good, life is good... it's snowing right now, the huge awesome snowflakes that are so gorgeous and fun to watch!  Love it!!

This weekend was the Super Bowl Party at mom and dad's house (bc Dad won the Fantasy Football thing this year)... me, Rach, and Danielle talked and did our nails and picked up the pizza and watched the fun commercials.  =)

I also got to hang out w/Malori and eat banana chocolate chip pancakes on Saturday night, and to help Rach get all moved into her new apartment, which is cute and fun! :) 

Very excited that I get to see the Eldredges in person this Thursday!!  (They're doing a book tour on their marriage book - I may be the only single girl there, but I so don't care.) 

Also very pumped for Valentine's Day, and really wishing more people saw it as a day to celebrate love and all the people you love, whether married or single! 

Some memorable quotes from Danielle:
"Utensils is just a tool..."

"I'm gonna seriously stop talking to you if you don't stay here tonight.  Like, I'll think of stuff to say, and then I'll just turn to Angela."

"If you had a nickname, I'm pretty sure it would be LM."

"Yeah, I'm not gonna jump!  I might get a black eye.  And that does not need to be captured on film."

"Is there anything else I can do for you in the freezing cold??"

"Nicholas Cage, is that you!?"

"Hey, we don't know what happened before He was 30."

"You're fired. -- But it has more to do with your eating... -- Oh don’t try to blame this on me.”
=)

And a random quote I read and loved:
"Above all, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it."

Altered Perception

So I watched the movie Shallow Hal for the first time this weekend. Of course, being Jack Black and the Farrelly Brothers, there was plenty of stupidity and borderline offensive humor. But it also had its moments of brilliance.

Jack Black plays a ridiculously shallow man continually chasing after hot girls with little substance. After a strange meeting in an elevator, his perception is dramatically changed so that he only sees people for their heart and inner beauty.  Nothing around him actually changes, only the way he views things.

He meets several gorgeous and interesting women, and quickly falls in love with a very overweight woman who has a great personality, (because he is seeing her as Gwyneth Paltrow) ...and all his friends are totally confused. This woman works with children at a hospital, so he goes with her to visit them. The kids are adorable, and he’s great with them and builds them up.  They play and joke around, and it’s all cute and fun. Gwyneth seems really impressed with him, which I assumed was just because it’s always nice when men are good with kids!

Toward the end of the movie, his perception is changed back to “normal.” Suddenly he realizes that all the women he’s been so captivated by are far from physical perfection. He messes up the only good relationship he’s ever had… then slowly realizes he is in love with who she is regardless of how she looks… and rushes to the hospital to find her. While he’s frantically looking for her, this little girl starts talking to him, and he turns around when he realizes she knows his name. The camera turns to the little girl, whose face and body are horribly scarred on one side. And it finally dawns on him that he is in the Pediatric Burn Unit, and that these are the adorable awesome kids he was hanging out with just days before. That scene really got me.

As I said before, I’ve had Bells Palsy in the past. I know what it feels like to know that you look different and strange, and that everyone around you views you a bit differently. That you’re probably being talked about behind your back. To not want to laugh or smile because you feel everyone is judging you, and to never want to be in any pictures. I know that my cousin is dealing with that type of inner pain every day. As are many cancer patients or paralysis victims all over the world. They may be tempted to isolate themselves, but they need support and encouragement and genuine friendship. They need people who can look past the surface and love them for who they are! We are called to BE those people.

It's so hard for people (myself included) to look past the surface. Men look at the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart. I want so much to begin to see everyone through the eyes of God. There are verses that say we have the mind of Christ. That God has placed a new heart in us. That we are new creatures in Him and our old nature has died.

This means it is possible – not easy – but possible, for Christians to truly walk in love with everyone around us. To look beneath the surface and see people for who they are. To acknowledge that those who hurt us have probably been deeply hurt in ways we know nothing about, and to respond in love and not be easily offended. To stop judging by appearances or by what is popular in the world.

Nothing around us has changed.  But God can alter our perception so that we see everyone around us through the eyes of the One who died to save them. I want that so much! The world NEEDS that.

Obviously, it is easier for us to judge. To seek revenge or hold a grudge when we’ve been hurt. To avoid those who seem strange and might hurt our reputation. To gossip. To slander. To be petty.  To stick with our close group and not branch out to help those who are hurting. But we’re not called to what is easy.

Joyce Meyer talks about how mean and stubborn and irritating and hard-hearted she used to be. She had a problem with male authority due to the fact that she had been sexually abused by her father for years. Of course, no one around her knew that and she wasn't about to announce it to them.  Her personality and the way she viewed the world was severely messed up, and it was very difficult for people to love her. But inside, she was broken and hurting, and only the love of God could restore her to wholeness. The patient, kind, and merciful love of God. The love that comforts people and guides them to the Truth, and works patiently to confront sin and bring healing and hope.

There are soooooo many people today living in the same broken state. I see them in my courtroom every week. People that most of the world has completely given up on. You can see in their eyes that they have little to no hope for a bright future. They have all but given up, and they’re doing their best to numb the pain and are now trapped in some gripping addiction. ..............Now God has the advantage of knowing their past and what has made them who they are today… of seeing their heart and hopes and fears, and knowing their true potential (because honestly, what person on earth would have guessed that Joyce Meyer or Beth Moore or Billy Graham would become the awesome Christian leaders they are today?) …God knows all of these things! We do not. But we do know God. And we can choose to put our selfishness aside and treat people with love, and God will richly bless that – both in our life and in the lives of those we love and encourage. …..Or we can choose to react to what we see in front of us and live by our emotions, most likely doing further damage to someone Satan has already beaten down to a point that they've forgotten who they really are.

I'm getting a deeper understanding of the truth that every person matters to God, and every heart has awesome value. Not only the homeless and the orphans, which is where the church places most of the focus. But also the outcasts. The criminals.  The terrorists. Those who we strongly disagree with, and even those who say they hate us. The people that we view as too quiet. Obnoxious. Selfish. Stubborn. Arrogant. Rude. Dishonest. Shallow. Totally indifferent. Or completely strange. Each one was created by God, and He loves them, and their life has value and purpose. And every one of them has a spiritual enemy who has been busy attacking their self-esteem and security, whose goal is to utterly destroy them. We cannot forget that.

Our job, our high calling if you will, is simply to love them. Love is patient and kind, not easily offended, and always believes the best. Love is compassionate and uplifting.  It is helpful to remember that hurting people hurt people. Those who hurt or belittle me are dealing with their own set of issues and attacks. That the real enemy is Satan, and he is working to kill, steal, and destroy every good thing God wants to do in our lives.

I admit that all of these things are easy to lose sight of when you’re in the midst of drama and it feels like your name is being dragged through the mud. But the most important name we bear is the name of Christ, and that is the “reputation” we should be most concerned with upholding. We do that by loving God first, and loving others even when it is difficult. (Love your enemies, pray for those who persecute you, bless those who curse you.)  And we help and encourage fellow Christians to do the same.

Some of the people who have hurt us are lost and have never known God, while some are (or at least claim to be) Christians. It’s always harder to respond in love when it is a fellow believer who has hurt you. I want to be more careful not to become offended, because that is Satan’s greatest trap. Jesus’ prayer for the church in John 17 was for unity. Offense obviously causes division and strife and destruction.  Paul encourages us to do everything in our power to “keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.” To keep peace in all our relationships and not allow bitterness to get a foothold. That type of surrender to God can feel weak, and it is extremely DIFFICULT. But that is spiritual warfare, and it does great damage to the kingdom of darkness!

Last thought… I heard the song, “When God Ran” this morning. When the prodigal son finally realized how wrong his lifestyle was and chose to return home, the Father was overjoyed and filled with love and ran out to meet him!  His older brother, however, was judgmental and frustrated that the Father could still love the other son after all he’d done wrong. I heard one pastor say that the Father ran to meet him so that the older brother would not get to him first. Makes sense.  God WANTS the world to know that He loves them and believes in them. He wants the Christians who have gotten way off course to know that He still loves them and wants to be first in their hearts. Those who are broken (people who often come across as stubborn and arrogant and defiant) do not need judgment and punishment and bitterness and anger. They need restoration and healing and truth. They need the love of God, more than they probably realize.

Much like the Shallow Hal movie, we have a daily choice to live in shallowness... responding to what we see and feel -- or to live by the Spirit... looking past all of that to the heart of the matter, and remembering that there are bigger things at stake than our pride. The "God of hope" wants to use us to bring hope back into the hearts of those who are struggling and insecure.  God says that He has shed His love in our hearts, meaning we have the ability to view the world and respond to each person as Christ would. And in every situation, it is up to us to decide whether to react like the disapproving older brother in the story, or to respond with the Father’s love and approval. WWJD should be obvious if we're not too stubborn or angry to ask ourselves the question. 

Wow, this turned out much longer than I’d planned... congratulations if you made it this far!

To sum up:  God is love, His love is in us, and that is what the world needs to experience. God always looks at the heart. We are called to be His representatives. Let’s take that more seriously.

Happy February 1st!

• I don't get bored easily, and being snowed in the past 3 days has been quite fantastic....
• I cooked way more than normal, and baked a fudge marble cake (yellow chocolate swirl - possibly my new favorite thing!)  Yum!!
• Finally got around to painting the 4 canvases I bought months ago... my goal was to use a bit of everything - texture, irridescent medium, crackle, antique, gel medium, glitter, metallic leafing, etc. - it was a bizzare but fun layering experiment, and I'm happy w/the finished abstract look.

• Got my laundry and proofreading done, and got my tax stuff ready - yay.
• Had good phone conversations with a couple of my favorite people. =)
• Jogged, read, painted, facebooked, ate a bit too much, lazed around in my PJs and watched a lot of movies and TV! :)
• I could get on facebook, but couldn't get on gmail or this blog.  Annoy me.
• Random thoughts and quotes that make me smile:
• "Uhm, you're not welcome."
• "His a genus and we nud his maaahnd."
• "Pain heals.  Chicks dig scars.  Glory lasts forever."
• "Claaap for Alaska!!"
• "So many sweet-spirited girls to admire."
• "I can give you dating advice."
• "These pretzels are making me thirsty."
• "You are my ambassador of quan, man."
• Watched Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants last night... I'd forgotten how very sad it was.  Wow.  I really love it, though. 
• Also, it makes me want to visit Greece.  And do sketches.
• It's celeb week on facebook.  Though I don't really see it, I've been told I look like Kate Winslet back in the Titanic days... which I love, because she's definitely who I'd choose to play me in a movie. :)

• Not that I've done anything movie worthy, but it's fun to think about.
• Less than 3 months to the half-marathon!  I almost put a smiley-face, but no.
• Kimberly had her baby girl, Addyson Shea, this past week - so exciting!
• I really do love Taylor Swift!  She dominated at the Grammys and CMAs (I watched them both the past 3 days).  She thanked "every person in this audience for not coming up on this stage during my speech."  Cute!
• My calendar this weekend had the quote, "Before you were born, I knew you."  Then really tiny, it said, "Author Unknown."  What!?  I know Him well, thank you very much!
• Watched a Full House episode, and was a little depressed as the fam gathered to celebrate Uncle Jesse's 26th Birthday!  I've always identified with DJ, but guess I'm past that now. lol
• I'm still learning a lot on love.  True love is not easily angered or offended.  It always believes the best and sees the good in others, and strives for unity.
• No one is perfect, and I want to be merciful just as God is merciful to me.
• I'm realizing that my feeling purposeless is typically when I get too self-absorbed.  When I focus on putting God first and loving others, life is immediately more fulfilling, and even the smallest things can be exciting!
• So many things feel shaky and unstable lately, but I've been reminded that my foundation is firm.  "On Christ the solid rock I will stand."
• Sometimes I feel like a cheesy Sunday school teacher trying to describe the major life lessons God is teaching me on here... hopefully people know me well enough to know I'm not saying it halfheartedly.
• For the most part, January has kinda sucked and been a bit depressing for me.  But no more wallowing...
• February -- with it's short uniqueness and leap year and Valentine's Day and candy and flowers and hearts and mine and Rachael's Birthdays and ice skating and wintery cuteness and Olympic awesomeness and even the Super Bowl Party and fun commercials -- has always been my favorite month of the year, so I say bring it on!! =)
• Nothing on earth is more attractive to me than PASSION and AUTHENTICITY!  Everyone is drawn to these things.
• God epitomizes both.  And I want to do a better job representing His heart!