"Chillax!"

A few random quotes/things that make me laugh lately:

A Facebook message from my wonderful friend, Laura, about my next dentist appt, signed "Front Desk Goddess." :)

Attorney: "Describe what happened leading up to this accident."
Witness:  "I was just driving along in my car, you know, chillaxin'..." 
(Definitely had to look down for a sec to stop myself from laughing.)

Same girl, during a recess, the attorneys were at the bench talking to my judge, so of course I was still seated at my desk.  Suddenly I hear, "Psst" ....I finally look around and realize it was her, and she mouths, "Really cute shoes!  Where'd you get them?" 
Haha, sooo not the time to chat.  But really funny.

"I've got enough eye shadows to make a drag queen jealous."  -Danielle :)

"Thank you, Oscar losers, for doing your best acting when you find out the bad news.  Your forced, frozen smiles as you watch someone else get your trophy demonstrate the kind of acting talent you should have brought to the set when you had the chance."  ~Jimmy Fallon's "Thank You Notes" lol

"And you never seen, so they tell me, such downright domesticity, with a Roman baby on each knee named Claudius and Brute!"  -Adam, SBFSB :)

Witness:  "I can't remember any of the details or anything, like, my memory's just really vivid."
(Said it that way several times... the witness who had "vivid" and "vague" mixed up.  He reminded me of Phoebe's brother on friends, which also made me laugh.)

"The sniper rifle? Saboteur! Saboteur! ...I'm gonna kill you for real!" -Andy Bernard, back when the Office was still funny :)

"THAT gets the 'Good Deed of the Year' award!" -exhausted Chet Lee, after being awesome and helping a stranger push his car a bit farther than he'd originally planned - lol
"I have a feeling we're gonna be hearing this story for a while..." ~Nathan, responding to above-mentioned good deed :)

American Idol Info:  "Miley Cyrus mentors the 11 contestants."  NOPE.

"That's it!  You are hearing from my attorney.  Who, by the by, is my cousin.  Who, by the by, likes me VERY, VERY MUCH!"  -Lester to Casey, Chuck

While at the dentist recently, he asked if I'd been to SeaWorld and I said yes.  I, of course, couldn't talk, so the rest of it was one-sided.  He went into the most bizzare and detailed story about a show with dolphins who carried a chimpanzee on a tight rope... he would randomly crack himself up remembering how, "that chimpanzee was so freaked out."  
(Funny because it felt very much like I was on nitrous oxide, but sadly, I was not. lol)

These commercials: 


(I just LOVE them.  Especially the way he waddles in this next one.)  Ahhh, cuteness!


How often before eating something sugary, I think of the Candy Mountain video and sing in my head, "Fill me with sweeeet, sugary goodness!"  :)

The "Fireflies" song by Owl City.  I actually really like it, but the line, "''Cause I get a thousand hugs from 10,000 lightening bugs, as they try to teach me how to dance" is just so absurd and funny to me.  I do really love the line: "It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep, 'cause everything is never as it seems... because my dreams are bursting at the seams."  .....aaand on that note, I'm off to bed. :)