Thankful Thursday (11)

Just to be clear, I'm writing this post in a bit of a hurry, so no judgment. :)  This week, I'm thankful for...

1. That "things change, but your ability to love remains intact." (~Reese Witherspoon)  Sooo true.

2. Living in a free country, and especially thankful for those who fought and died to preserve our freedom! 
3. Getting to see Sound of Music in theaters with an awesome fun movie crowd! :)
4. Having Malori's CD collection for a while!  It's always fun having new music... Elton John, Muse, Wicked Soundtrack, KT Tunstall, etc.  Also exciting is that Taylor Swift's new CD is out!  And yes, I'm totally serious.  T-Swift for the win!
5. Merritt's cake truffles!  Uh, yum.
6. Finally getting in a 9.5 mile jog (and walk & talk) with Malori at Lake Hefner this weekend!  Less than a month till the Half!!
7. Captivating ...as in the book by John and Stasi Eldredge.  Re-read some of it last night, and it was so refreshing, and a reminder that their message is brilliant!
8. Coke and White Cherry Icees.  *Not the stupid red Wild Cherry; the awesome White Cherry. :)
9. Facebook!!  And Mark and Eduardo for founding it. lol
10. Getting to host/lead our Bible Study tonight for Kristin and Tara's group!!  I feel underprepared, but I'm sure we'll have fun and hopefully learn something anyway.

11. Beth Moore's Breaking Free study.  And really, Beth Moore, for who she is!
12. God's protection while I'm driving, which is so easy to take for granted.
13. True Religion perfume.  And Burberry.  And several others, but those are probably my favorites!
14. The song In Christ Alone, because it says it all.  Definitely my favorite Christian song or hymn.
15. Getting this text from Natalie: "Umm ok I have been waiting for thankful Thursday all morning :)"  Ha, that made me happy!!

So there ya go! ;)

"All the love you can give..."

How much fun was the Sound of Music sing-along!?  I'd almost forgotten how much I adore that movie. The entire crowd was so excited and hilarious... cheering and clapping after every song, belting out the songs and some of the more intense dialogue, booing the Nazis and the Baroness Schrader, and cheering when Captain Von Trapp tears the Nazi flag and when the nuns say, "Reverend Mother, I have sinned" ...the theater atmosphere was fantastic! =)

Favorite (and most fitting) song: "What will this day be like? I wonder. What will my future be? I wonder. It could be so exciting to be out in the world, to be free! My heart should be wildly rejoicing... oh, what's the matter with me? I've always longed for adventure, to do the things I've never dared! And here I'm facing adventure. Then why am I so scared? ....With each step, I am more certain everything will turn out fine. I have confidence the world can all be mine! They'll have to agree I have confidence in me. I have confidence in sunshine! I have confidence in rain! I have confidence that Spring will come again... besides which, you see, I have confidence in me!"

And how much do I want to be Maria, to have that type of inner strength and beauty!?  Seriously, her devotion to God, her confidence, love, warmth, passion, creativity, kindness, purity, and sincerity... and her awesome singing voice.  LOVE it all! :) 

I also don't mind the thought of marrying a protective and fiercely loyal Navy Captain with seven children (to suddenly have seven children - no babies or toddlers, and the perfect boy/girl ratio - who love you and desperately need a mother, and never have to go through labor -- umm, fantastic -- sign me up). I love the dance, the hints of romance, and the whole dynamic of their relationship.  And I love the fact that they get married so quickly  - that the night they are able to say "I love you" for the first time, they know they will be married for the rest of their lives.  They are sure and they are committed - enough to skip the whole dating nonsense and go straight for marriage. That sounds fantastic! lol  

Also, I have always loved that Maria's goal is "to find out what is the will of God and to do it wholeheartedly."  YESSS!  And I love that she puts his heart and integrity above the safety and comfort of their family - that neither of them allow the very real threats and intimidation to sway their character...  "Max, I can't ask him to be less than he is."  Favorite line!!

Finally, I love the words (NOT the high pitch nun singing it, but the lyrics) in Climb Every Mountain.  The whole song is meant as encouragement to Maria to move toward finding her purpose (and I so need that right now)... to step out of hiding in what is familiar and comfortable... to stop verbally "wanting God's will" and start actively seeking the path He has planned for her life... and be ready and willing to do whatever it takes to find it.  

"A dream that will need all the love you can give, every day of your life, for as long as you live!"  Ahhhh, yes, please!!

Okay, random Sound of Music tribute over.  =)

Thankful Thursday (10)

"Enter His gates with thanksgiving; go into His courts with praise."  ~Psalm 100:4

I'm thankful for...

1. Mom coming down to stay with me for a couple days, and restocking my water, and taking care of me after my lonnng dentist appointment! :)
2. Getting to see OneRepublic in concert again!!  Ryan Tedder (see picture) is just brilliantly talented, and I hope he made some new fans.  As for Maroon 5, no one was quite as impressed with Adam Levine as he is with himself, but they were also good!  And on a random note, it was fun to see Hanson in the crowd.  (Yes, Hanson as in Mmmbop!)

3. Chet, for driving us to the concert.  I really don't do downtown Tulsa.

4. Malori, for staying up till 2:30 to talk to me when she had to get up early and drive back the next day!  And for really listening and understanding, and just generally being awesome. :)

5. Anesthesia!  And nitrous. :)  And friendly dentists who help keep me calm.
6. Having all white teeth for the first time in years... goodbye, ugly silver fillings!
7. Moments when I know God timed something (a sermon or chapter) perfectly for me.
8. Shutterfly!  (Finally working on another scrapbook.)
9. Makeup... specifically, mascara, lip gloss, and good black eyeliner.
10. The strong desire for something more in life, even when it's undefined and painful, I know it will drive me to seek God and make some bold changes.
11. Finding The Wonder Years on TV again!!  Love, love, love it!

12. Jennie-O turkey burgers... again, thanks to BL product placement! :)
13. The new Midnight Rodeo club... for being close to home, and most importantly, for being smoke free!!!! 

14. Priscilla's Zumba class with Laura!
15. Blog comments! ;)

"Go ahead and scream it!"

This week obviously goes to OneRepublic.  First song on their first album... epic. 
"Do you know where your love is?  Do you think that you lost it?  You felt it so strong, but nothing's turned out how you wanted.  Bless my soul, you're a lonely soul 'cause you won't let go of anything you hold...."
Song of the week: 

OneRepublic and Maroon 5 Concert tomorrow night!!!  Get excited. =)

Cheesy thoughts on running

While jogging LaFortune last week, we made it up an intense hill without stopping or walking... and I happily commented, "Okay, we've got a nice straight path for a while, and I see a downhill slope in our future!"  My faithful and hilariously sarcastic jogging partner chimed in with, "Oh yes, our future's going downhill at a rapid rate!" 

And tonight, (at the depressing end of the loneliest weekend I've had in a long while), I've been thinking about that.  About where I was a year ago, where I am now, where I want to be next year....... When I go jogging, I love seeing the downhill slope in front of me, especially when I'm already a bit worn out.  You can just coast right through it and keep running and even speed up with very little effort.  Going uphill is quite a different story!  You have to be focused and determined and fight to keep your breathing normal and stay at a steady pace to make it to the top.  And inevitably, when you make it to the top, there will be another downhill slope, and when you've made it through that, you will have to go uphill again.  Interestingly, while jogging downhill is much easier, it is much harder on your body.  And I love all the symbolism there. 

In certain areas of my life, I feel that I've been effortlessly coasting downhill for a while (and hopefully, that I've hit the lowest point and my journey is smoothing out for a bit.)  And the downhill ramp has been hard on me, and I'm exhausted, and when I look ahead at the uphill battles, it all seems overwhelming.  I recognize that time is not standing still, so whether I dig in and move in the right direction or allow myself to be intimidated and sink further downhill, I will be moving somewhere.  Getting up the hills in life will take determination and faith... and I know that when I reach the goals I'm facing now, there will always be something new to fight for and conquer.  God is like the training coach, and He is constantly preparing me to overcome the next hill, teaching me the proper form and how to stabilize my system when exhaustion or pain sets in and seems overwhelming.  And He isn't overly concerned with my speed in getting there, but with building my endurance and strength so that I eventually reach the finish line with victory!  And I love that so much!!

Sidenote:  Faith in the Amplified Bible is defined as "the leaning of your entire human personality in absolute trust and confidence in God's power, wisdom, and goodness."  And I am clinging to that with all my strength right now.  Because if we honestly believe that God is powerful -- that He can perform miracles and create the world out of nothing and conquer death and that all things are possible with Him.... if we believe that God is wise -- that He knows what He is doing even when it makes no sense to us, that He sees the big picture and has a plan and knows the best course for us in every situation... and if we believe that God is good -- that He is loving and forgiving and merciful, and always has our best interest at heart and is working things out for our good........ if we really believe those three things and hold on to them when we've absolutely hit rock bottom, then we will press in with Him and nothing can defeat us!
 

"I love you, Lord; You are my strength.
The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my Savior;
He is my shield, the strength of my salvation, and my stronghold...
They attacked me at a moment when I was weakest,
But the Lord upheld me
He led me to a place of safety;
He rescued me because He delights in me...
I chased my enemies and caught them;
I did not stop until they were conquered...
You have armed me with strength for the battle;
You have subdued my enemies under my feet."
~Psalm 18:1-39 
(I'm thinking of strongholds as my 'enemies' here.)

In closing, some cheesy but inspiring lyrics, courtesy of Miley Cyrus:
"I can almost see it, that dream I'm dreaming, but there's a voice inside my head saying, 'You'll never reach it.'  Every step I'm taking, every move I make feels lost with no direction.  My faith is shaking, but I - I've gotta keep trying, gotta keep my head held high.

There's always gonna be another mountain; I'm always gonna wanna make it move.  It's always gonna be a uphill battle; sometimes I'm gonna have to lose.  It ain't about how fast I get there, ain't about what's waiting on the other side.  It's the climb.  It's all about the climb... keep the faith, keep your faith!"

Thankful Thursday (9)

Today, I'm thankful for...

1. The successful rescue of the 33 Chilean miners.  So exciting and awesome!!
2. Joyce Meyer... I cannot say enough about how much she has impacted my life by speaking the truth with boldness and living in obedience to God!
3. Sarah, for her friendship and for teaching me to cook.  We're planning to get together once a week and cook a different meal and dessert, and have some friends over to help us eat it!  :)

4. Movies that do something to inspire me on a spiritual level!  Lately, Gladiator and Secretariat are topping that list.
5. Thankful for the "shield of FAITH" -- that I can overcome worry and confusion and doubt by simply leaning myself entirely on God and trusting His power, wisdom, and goodness!!
6. That I'm now fully certain I won't have to miss my OneRepublic & Maroon 5 concert! Awesomeness. :)
7. Being reminded how short my time here will be, and that I need to live well, to make each day count.  (And yes, I totally just pictured Kate, aka Rose Dawson, raising her glass and saying, "To making it count!")

8. My new denist (Dr. Neil Hasty) for being a genuinely kind person, and for the complimentary teeth whitening, and for making my new retainer for free!!
9. Cookiecake... for obvious reasons. =)

10. That Babah has been breast cancer free for years and has been able to enjoy life and be healthy... (random, but Race for the Cure made me think about that and all she went through, so it kind of applies to this week.)

11. For having the internet at work now... how did I ever make it without it that first year!? lol
12. My Avalon Greatest Hits CD... In Christ Alone... love it!
13. The promises in Deuteronomy 28:1-14!
14. That my super-annoying credit card issues have been resolved.
15. Experiencing (I barely felt it while I was still in bed at 9:15) my first earthquake yesterday.  In Oklahoma.  So random!  (*It was minor, and I just thought it was kinda fun.  But I'm not actually thankful for earthquakes, other than them being a sign of the end times and the soon-to-come rapture!)

MoRe raNdOm QuoTEs!

“Time you enjoy wasting... was not wasted!” ~John Lennon  (Love that one!)

“Never miss an opportunity to make others happy, even if you have to leave them alone in order to do it.” -Unknown

"Everything is kung fu!"  ~Jackie Chan, Karate Kid :)

"I'm a grown woman, and I don't have to dance around in the middle of a circle if I don't want to!!" ~Laura, explaining her refusal to take over at Zumba class :)

"Is she wearing jeggings??"  -Me
"Probably!  And if so, she's probably like, 'Oh, jeggings, pour your love on me!'"  -Rach (random hilarious conversation during the LC worship service)

“I believe that we are solely responsible for our choices, and we have to accept the consequences of every deed, word and thought throughout our lifetime.” ~Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

“One of the things I learned the hard way was that it doesn't pay to get discouraged. Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself.” ~Lucille Ball

“The difference between try and triumph is a little umph.” -Unknown =)

"Hey Swadie, why don't you get online right quick and figure out a way to make us a billion dollars.  Or really, a hundred million would be good enough!!"  ~Mom, after we saw The Social Network  (I'm on it.)

"But then the white man brought the syphilis."  ~Tara Lynn, at the end of a ranty conversation during Bible study! lol

"Shut up!  ....You guys suck, and I'm leaving."  ~Megan, as we were cracking up when she almost fell getting up from Malori's couch

"And now I look like Olivia Newton John."  ~Malori in her Race for the Cure sweatband :)
"Let's get physical, physical!" -Mom

"I've decided that the people who talk about how exercise gives them so much energy are FULL OF IT. Since I've started running, I can barely stay awake til 9:30. This is severely cramping my happenin' night life, i.e. staying up til 10:30 to watch The Office reruns."  ~Laura B. :)

“Real difficulties can be overcome; it is only the imaginary ones that are unconquerable.” ~Theodore N. Vail

10-10-10 Weekend Update

• Just a brief weekend recap with pictures. :)
• Friday night, we celebrated Natalie's B-day at Johnny Carino's!  Fun group, fun night!  After the party, I drove home to OKC for Race for the Cure weekend! 

• Happy Birthday today (10-10-10) to Natalie!!  Woohoo!

• Ran in the OKC Race for the Cure with Malori... Mom was our #1 fan and driver... JB was there too and walked in the race. :)  The 18,000+ crowd was intense, but the race was fun... I enjoy running 5ks and 10ks.  15ks are a little much, the Half is sounding a bit overwhelming at the moment, and the Full still sounds terrifying!  But I will do it eventually.  "We're marching on..." :)

Went to help paint at JoBug's house and to see the progress on their pool... it will have a hot tub section,  a rock garden, and a waterfall... and it's gonna be awesome to swim there next summer!! =D

• Saw "It's Kind of a Funny Story" with Malori and Megan... and I would argue that it was kind of a sad story, but good movie.
• Dinner at MiMi's Cafe - their cheddar broccoli quiche is always a favorite!  And the honeybran muffins.  Yum.
• 
  Finally tried a salted caramel hot chocolate... good, but I still prefer regular HC.
• Went to Malori's and helped Megan with her Halloween Party invitations... black and white themed party, and the invitations were super cute!
• LifeChurch with the fam, minus Dad, who is at an SF thing in Branson this weekend.
• It bothers me that I KNOW my core values and spiritual gifts and personality and God-given burdens, yet still feel clueless about my actual "chazown" or vision or purpose in life.  What is that about??
• Lunch with the fam (and Josh and Carter and Triston) after church... chaotic, but fun!



• Saw The Social Network with Mom after church.  Good movie!
• I'm sooooo tired, and now I'm off to take a Sunday afternoon nap.  :)
• And tomorrow, I am off work in honor of Columbus Day.  Hooray!!

Thankful Thursday (8)

"Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good." ~Psalm 136:1
This week, I'm so very thankful for...

1. Awesome and powerful worship services at church!
2. Being raised in a  loving, Christian home!
3. My new photo collage software... because sometimes, one picture just isn't enough. ;)
4. Malo-riah and Chet Lee, still two of my favorite people... so excited for our NYC trip this December!! =)

5. Grilled cheese sandwiches. :)  One of few things I'm good at making, but I'll be adding to that list soon. lol
6. Getting to see the "Art in the Square" exhibit this past Saturday - awesome timing!
7. Letters from Judith, my Compassion child, especially when she draws me pictures or says she's praying for me.
8. Sleeping well.  (Sometimes I go to bed later than I should, but I always go right to sleep and sleep all through the night, and I'm very thankful for that!)
9. Hearing (from Tara Lynn) about the Hospitality House!  Thankful that it exists and for what they're doing, and thankful that I'm at a place where I can get involved now!
10. My wonderful, encouraging girlfriends who mean so much to me!!

11. Getting my hair done -- because changing it up will always be fun to me, and I love when they wash my hair and massage my scalp. :)
12. Relaxing Sunday afternoons.
13. Starting tennis lessons with James - fun and very educational. And ever-so-slightly exhausting.

14. LaFortune Wednesdays jogging with Laura!  And the fact that she quoted One Republic's Marching On in her FB message to me. :)  Love it!!
15. Feeling God's love and finding renewed strength in Him, and being hopeful and excited about my future!!

A bit of advice...

Whenever I'm going through something difficult and feeling down about life, the famous Christian advice is to get my mind off myself.  Other Christians often encourage us to think about others and do something for someone else so that we'll magically stop feeling discontent.  And I understand the heart of it, and think it's great advice when someone is truly just being self-absorbed and arrogant, but there's a big difference in being selfish and being wounded, and I wish people would remember that.  It would be exhausting and probably very fake if I went out and tried to share the love and goodness of God with others when I'm absolutely not feeling it in my own life. And I don't think God expects that, nor do I think that Jesus would view that as the perfect solution to our problems.  Obviously, we should always walk in love with the people around us, but to go out of our way to find a new volunteer project is not always the most 'Godly' thing to do.

It is not selfish or wrong to take time to let God speak to your heart and strengthen you before you try to really give back to others. I thought about that last week as I was leaving Tara and Kristin's Bible study - Tara told us all about the Hospitality House (an awesome Christian ministry for the families of terminally ill / long term hospital patients - providing food, a place to stay, someone to talk to and pray with, etc. - something that is incredibly similar to what I've talked about wanting to do before). And I absolutely plan to get involved with that soon - but I was in such a bad place emotionally and spiritually that it would've been ridiculous and probably crushing for me to talk to grieving/worried families whose lives have just been shaken and drastically changed.  And I knew that, but it felt like others believed that was exactly the cure I needed.

People imply that when you see others who have it worse than you, you'll suddenly be full of thankfulness for all that you have.... and if your problem is seriously wanting more stuff, that may be true. But more often than not, the problem in our hearts goes much deeper than that.  And when that's the case, when you're sincerely thankful for all you have, but you're doubting God's love and feeling abandoned and broken and confused in some area, stepping out of your comfort zone and trying to minister to others who are in worse suffering will likely be insincere and is not going to fill you with joy or make you feel much better about God's heart toward people. My point here is that I believe God wants our hearts, and He wants us to be REAL, and to minister to others from a "whole and healed" place.  And I am tired of Christians misunderstanding that and failing to show compassion when someone is hurting.

So if you are ever tempted to give the wildly popular, "Get out there and help someone else" or "Just think about all the people who have it so much worse than you" advice, please stop and remember that being wounded and being selfish are very different things, and God will not find it sinful for His children to wait to regain strength and find healing before trying to help heal others!!  Instead of giving that advice, perhaps you should focus on simply being there for them in their need.

John Eldredge sent an email today talking about the difference in canals and reservoirs. That a canal spreads the water out as soon as it comes in, and because of that, it runs dry very quickly. While a reservoir waits until is it completely filled, and then overflows, "and thus without loss to itself it shares its superabundant water." God doesn't want us to spiritually burn out and run ourselves ragged because we feel like we have to constantly give, give, give and never take time to be restored and let God fill us up. So when you are genuinely hurting, don't let anyone make you feel guilty or pressure you into doing more "acts of service" to get better.  Take some time off, and wait on God.  Your HEART matters to Him, and He wants to first heal and restore you, so that He can really use your life as a testimony that will restore and strengthen others!!

The time for honoring yourself will soon be at an end

• Finally watched all of Gladiator this week (the toned-down, less graphic TV version -- yes, please).  It was EPIC.  Full of spiritual truths and parallels.  I was really surprised by how much I loved it, even the ending!  Movies like that do so much for my spirit.

• "You have a great name.  He must kill your name before he kills you." ❤
• "My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next."  Woo, for a tiny moment, that made me a Russell Crowe fan.
• "Whatever comes out of these gates, we've got a better chance of survival if we work together. Do you understand? If we stay together, we survive."
• Satan is also cruel and cowardly and uses anything he can against us, especially in areas where he knows we are weak and hurting, but God has chosen us and given us authority, and we have the power to overcome evil when we "lock our shields" of faith and use our Sword.  LOVE IT.
• I am so thankful for the grace of God.  For His mercy.
• My talk with Jeff last night made me think about what I've learned from my past, what I want for my future, and how that is changing.  Blog post coming soon.
• "I'd rather have five minutes of wonderful ...than a lifetime of nothing special!"  -Shelby, Steel Magnolias
• First tennis lesson yesterday.  I'm an awful tennis player, but it's still fun somehow. :)
• This FB status cracked me up: "Attention all Creepers, Go to the Wal-Mart Neighborhood Market right now. You all are having a convention of sorts at this time." (Amanda Wille)
• I commented last week in Bible study that I view Satan as the enemy of God, and all people as people that God loves... yet David refers to people as enemies of God in the Psalms. 
• And then I found this verse: "You adulterers! Don't you realize that friendship with the world makes you an enemy of God? ...Come close to God, and God will come close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world." (James 4)
• "Your loyalty is divided" - that phrase really gets me!  God so desires our entire heart, and we have to humble ourselves before Him to be called His friends.
• Another appropriate Gladiator quote (that applies to all enemies of God): "The time for honoring yourself will soon be at an end." 
• I want to be humble and pure before God, to always fight for His glory and honor and not my own.
• Okaaaay, time to get back to work!!

Hope Floats

• Today was refreshing, relaxing, and fun.
• Hope floats.  It is immortal.  No matter how far down it may sink, you will never drown it - it always rises up again.
• I've spent a lot of energy questioning everything and getting upset lately, probably being prideful and ignorant... but I believe my emotions are stabilizing.
• John 14:27 has been helpful... Jesus gives me His peace, but it's up to me to not let my heart be troubled, or as the Amplified says, "stop allowing yourself to be agitated and disturbed."
• Jogged 6 miles this morning and had a good talk with Natalie on lap 1 and Laura on lap 2! =)
• New weight loss plan = eat well and exercise often, but avoid the scale till January 1st.  I love it!! 
• After my hair appt at Ihloff, I browsed the Art Show at Utica Square, which was fun and gave me several abstract painting ideas.  It was such a nice day today!
• I bought a clearer version of the above picture ...black and white where only the balloons are red! (photo by Mia Bella)  Kinda random, but I liked it for several reasons - it represents so much joy and hope! :)
• Oprah interviewed J.K. Rowling, and I was very impressed with her -- her story, imagination, intelligence, and down-to-earth attitude were inspiring!  Perhaps I'll start reading and become an extremely late fan of Harry Potter now? lol
• *2019 Edit - YES, THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED.  I'M ON ROUND 4 OF LISTENING TO THE AUDIOBOOKS NOW.  SOOOOO FANTASTIC!!
• "Why do I talk about the benefits of failure? Simply because failure meant a stripping away of the inessential. I stopped pretending to myself that I was anything other than what I was, and began to direct all my energy into finishing the only work that mattered to me. Had I really succeeded at anything else, I might never have found the determination to succeed in the one arena I believed I truly belonged. I was set free, because my greatest fear had been realized, and I was still alive, and I still had a daughter whom I adored, and I had an old typewriter and a big idea. And so rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.  You might never fail on the scale I did, but some failure in life is inevitable. It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all."  ~J.K. Rowling
• Failure stripping away what is inessential, and rock bottom becoming a solid foundation - love that.
• "Life's really not worth living if you can't have a Cosmic Brownie binge now and then!" -Malori  ...amen to that! lol
• Monday night tennis lessons starting soon... get excited! =)
• I want to learn to cook... for real this time... and sometime soon, Sarah's going to help me get started. :)
• Last night's Los Cabos outing was also a lot of fun... and this picture makes me laugh!

• I'm really tired, so that's about it for today.  Goodnight!