A bit of advice...

Whenever I'm going through something difficult and feeling down about life, the famous Christian advice is to get my mind off myself.  Other Christians often encourage us to think about others and do something for someone else so that we'll magically stop feeling discontent.  And I understand the heart of it, and think it's great advice when someone is truly just being self-absorbed and arrogant, but there's a big difference in being selfish and being wounded, and I wish people would remember that.  It would be exhausting and probably very fake if I went out and tried to share the love and goodness of God with others when I'm absolutely not feeling it in my own life. And I don't think God expects that, nor do I think that Jesus would view that as the perfect solution to our problems.  Obviously, we should always walk in love with the people around us, but to go out of our way to find a new volunteer project is not always the most 'Godly' thing to do.

It is not selfish or wrong to take time to let God speak to your heart and strengthen you before you try to really give back to others. I thought about that last week as I was leaving Tara and Kristin's Bible study - Tara told us all about the Hospitality House (an awesome Christian ministry for the families of terminally ill / long term hospital patients - providing food, a place to stay, someone to talk to and pray with, etc. - something that is incredibly similar to what I've talked about wanting to do before). And I absolutely plan to get involved with that soon - but I was in such a bad place emotionally and spiritually that it would've been ridiculous and probably crushing for me to talk to grieving/worried families whose lives have just been shaken and drastically changed.  And I knew that, but it felt like others believed that was exactly the cure I needed.

People imply that when you see others who have it worse than you, you'll suddenly be full of thankfulness for all that you have.... and if your problem is seriously wanting more stuff, that may be true. But more often than not, the problem in our hearts goes much deeper than that.  And when that's the case, when you're sincerely thankful for all you have, but you're doubting God's love and feeling abandoned and broken and confused in some area, stepping out of your comfort zone and trying to minister to others who are in worse suffering will likely be insincere and is not going to fill you with joy or make you feel much better about God's heart toward people. My point here is that I believe God wants our hearts, and He wants us to be REAL, and to minister to others from a "whole and healed" place.  And I am tired of Christians misunderstanding that and failing to show compassion when someone is hurting.

So if you are ever tempted to give the wildly popular, "Get out there and help someone else" or "Just think about all the people who have it so much worse than you" advice, please stop and remember that being wounded and being selfish are very different things, and God will not find it sinful for His children to wait to regain strength and find healing before trying to help heal others!!  Instead of giving that advice, perhaps you should focus on simply being there for them in their need.

John Eldredge sent an email today talking about the difference in canals and reservoirs. That a canal spreads the water out as soon as it comes in, and because of that, it runs dry very quickly. While a reservoir waits until is it completely filled, and then overflows, "and thus without loss to itself it shares its superabundant water." God doesn't want us to spiritually burn out and run ourselves ragged because we feel like we have to constantly give, give, give and never take time to be restored and let God fill us up. So when you are genuinely hurting, don't let anyone make you feel guilty or pressure you into doing more "acts of service" to get better.  Take some time off, and wait on God.  Your HEART matters to Him, and He wants to first heal and restore you, so that He can really use your life as a testimony that will restore and strengthen others!!