Donald Miller

My first mini-tribute goes to Donald Miller!

He is the author of Blue Like Jazz and A Million Miles in a Thousand Years.

I highly recommend both of these books and reading his storyline blog!!

I don't agree with him on every issue, but I love his authenticity and brilliant writing style.

He has a great sense or humor and a unique way of looking at life.

And he is completely honest and speaks from the heart about what it feels like to have a life & faith crisis... which helped me so much when I first discovered Blue Like Jazz in 2008!

(Several of my earliest blog posts were on this book.)

I've realized lately just how much God has used Donald Miller to change my life....

Blue Like Jazz brought my heart back to the truth of who Jesus really is at a time when my faith was shaken and I felt angry with God and far from Him.  It also helped me to feel less guilty and alone when I had those doubts or angry thoughts...  to better understand the love and grace of God! For me, at that time, it was life changing.

A Million Miles in a Thousand Years inspired me to really think about my life story... and a blog challenge he posted along those same lines inspired my "Storyline" post in January. 

I wrote that list out on January 5th of this year, and writing it down was what really solidified my decision to go back to school.  Definitely life changing!

(A great story = a character who wants something meaningful and is willing to overcome conflict to get it.  What do you want most out of life?)

Finally, a random YouTube video clip on his blog was what made me tune in to watch Brene Brown on television, which led to buying her Gifts of Imperfection book last month... and I got a lot out of it!!

Basically, I love his heart and I connect with his writing.

And the degree to which this one man's books have changed my life

is a major part of what makes me want to become an author in the future!

12 in 2012 ~ April

My 3 April goals were:

Sign up for the Nike Women's Marathon!!

Run the OKC Half (and by run, I meant finish)!

Read a new book... (The Gifts of Imperfection).

Done, done, and done!  SUCCESS!! :)

The race this morning was ridiculously hard... but I FINISHED!  It took me 4 hours, yet it was the hardest one I've done so far... my biggest motivation, oddly enough, was knowing I had set a goal for myself and would have to write about whether or not I followed through!  So hooray for the 12 in 2012... it's also what made me follow through and enter the NWM lottery, which is about to make me TRAIN harder than ever before.  (My first Half time was a little over 2:30, so I know that I can train hard and be READY for San Francisco - and today only motivated me more!)

I jogged a lot in the beginning, but definitely walked the majority because I was cramping and feeling nauseous.  I had to make 2 bathroom stops - at a church and a McDonalds - yay for that - no porta-potties for me!  I had terrible blisters on both feet, and by mile 8 my socks were completely soaked through from the rain. I'm awfully sore now... I think I must have positioned myself strangely to try to stay off the blister on my right foot, because that ankle and hip are not happy with me now.  Hoping the day off + massage tomorrow will help a bit.  On a happier note, I got the iPhone 4 yesterday (awesome) and also bought some earbud headphones, so I got to listen to music most of the way, which was the main saving grace of it all.

This is my song of the month, and my favorite song to run to today!!

Brighter Than the Sun by Colbie Caillat

Below are several photos from the month of April... mostly race related, but some of family and friends!  Overall, it's been a fantastic month... I spent quality time with family, went to Lifegroup regularly, wrote papers I'm proud of and grew closer to my classmates, my yard got a makeover (pictures soon), I reached my 3 main goals, and I'm learning to embrace life wholeheartedly and to be more resilient when Satan tries to make me feel shame or fear.  I've reconnected with Holly, Morgan, and Megan - three friends from my CHA days - and in each case, that has gone really well!  And I feel like I've grown closer to God and gotten a little better at resting and at accepting myself.  Yay!

 ...yet. lol
This shirt at the race expo made me laugh!

Chet and Karli at the race expo

The 9:03 Memorial wall... at freaking 5:30 am

Awesome firemen walking the Half together!

Chet Lee getting his medal for running the Full!!  Awesome!  I stayed to watch him finish, then headed home.

Our group at the race expo

Taken April 1st - my favorite pic of all 3 of them together!

Their Easter family photo... great pic!

Riding bikes this weekend... so cute!

Me and Megan Elizabeth at MiMi's... so good to see her again!

Part of the lobby at OU Children's Hospital

Visiting Kristin and baby Anthony... he's recovering from a major surgery, but doing well!  God is good!!!

Goals set for MAY:

1.  Focus on JOY. Go a full month without saying or writing one negative word about myself or anyone else!! 

 2.  Write a mini-tribute every day on what I love most about the people in my life or people who inspire me!  

3.  Read a new fiction book!

...get excited!

Ridiculously Detailed Update =)

This has been a great week so far!  =)

I had my first presentation in class on Monday, and did really well - yay God!  It was the first time I didn't get nervous or have everything memorized, but actually felt really comfortable and poised speaking in front of a group.  I really LOVE the people in my class - I wrote them all cards that day, which was fun for me!  We also did a tasty Mexican pot luck dinner (where I brought way too many Teds tortillas - so me and others took several home) ...then we got out of class two hours early!  All good. =)  

At that point, I got a random text from my friend, Morgan, who was in Tulsa after a modeling shoot.  She hadn't eaten dinner yet, so we went to Logans and got all caught up on each others' lives.  I really felt like the timing was God, because she was feeling discouraged, and it was a great opportunity to build her up and 'speak truth in love.'  She talked about her "fear of insignificance" and how that has shaped her decisions... it's so interesting to think about how that shapes each of us in some way.  She stayed with me that night and we did a lot of talking... then we had breakfast at Panera (awesome) and prayed together, which was great!  

I went to work, only to find that my judge was taking the day off - HOORAY - so I went to read at Panera for a bit... (while there, I heard two men at the table beside me talking about a couple adopting from China... I thought, "Oh, cool, Ashley's adopting from China too!" ...then the one guy started telling the other about how this mom was raising money for an incubator and for kids with cleft palate, and it was just really cool to actually hear people talking about something that was started as a small idea on her blog!  Then I stopped eavesdropping and went back to my book.)  I saw Think Like a Man at 11:00 and ran into Kelly from my class there, so that was fun!  Somewhere in the middle of that, I decided to make it a real day OFF and not focus at all on schoolwork or doing anything stressful.  I finished my book, ate several Teds tortillas :), took a long nap, and watched a Reba marathon!  I also jogged a mile, but only because it sounded fun at that point after a day of very little movement. =)  

And I took some time for silence - Craig talked on Sunday about how difficult it is to really turn your mind off of the to-do list and be silent and think about God and what you're thankful for for 5 minutes... we have totally different personalities, or my to-do list is just not half as stressful, because I did this for 25 minutes with no problem. lol  It was really, really nice!!  I'm going to try to carve out 10 minutes every morning to just be still and silent, pray, focus on who God is, what I'm thankful for, and my vision for my future!  I went to bed feeling rested and thankful. 

So far, today is off to a good start as well.  My judge is coming in tomorrow and Friday (when I will work hard and be productive and catch up on pleas)... but today, I'm blogging, starting my next paper for school, and having lunch with my awesome friend, K-Lamb ...discussing life and wedding shower/decoration plans (LOVE their engagement photos below - so cute, and her blue eyes are fantastic)!

G.I.G.A.T.T.

Randomness

The other day, I was mindlessly humming a song and eventually started singing it out loud... and cracked myself up when I realized the song was "Genovia, the land I call my home!  Genovia, GenOOOOvia, forever will your banner wave."  Awesome.

How much fun is my new "Favorite Things" phone cover!?  I don't get to actually use it till May when I get the iPhone 4, but just wanted to share now because I love it! =)

Happy and sad news... I got a haircut and fun blond highlights yesterday, and I love it!  It's always strangely empowering to totally change it up. :) 

The sad news is that my favorite Ihloff stylist - who did these two bouncy short flippy cuts that I love - is moving to Colorado next month.  Roadtrip, anyone!? lol

I was thinking lately about how much can change in a year... so along that thought process, here's a 'look back' around this time one year ago:

I was involved in the BattleCreek group and reeeally trying to make that work...

I was going to BattleCreek and very excited about it...

I thought briefly about enrolling at OSU, but talked myself out of it...

Malori bought a house and we took a fun road trip to OKC to help paint...

Rach and Josh were engaged and planning their wedding...

I was getting attached to Triston and Carter, but they were not yet my nephews...

We had a big family reunion at JB's house...

The major Joplin tornado and the LG trip to Joplin...

The Diving Deeper LG was meeting at Blake's and Bobbi's houses...

Natalie's house was being built and almost ready to move in...

Lovenburg was back from her year in Japan...

Kristin was getting ready for a blind date that ended up not working out...

Jay and Bethany were engaged (now married and pregnant)...

And Laura went with her Mom and brother to visit her sister's family in Japan!

My point is simply that I'm excited to see how things will be different a year from now, for better and/or worse!

Last subject, I promise...

I am officially back at LifeChurch.tv now, and feeling more solid there than ever before.

There are a million things I could say about this, but I'll do my best to keep it short.

There are 3 main reasons that I am drawn back to LifeChurch:

1.  Pastor Craig ~ he's not perfect, but I really believe in his heart for God.  He genuinely and passionately seeks God, speaks truth in love, and his Driver/Expressive personality is something I connect with and appreciate.  They have corrected some of the leadership problems over the past couple years.  And in the end, I've realized that Jesus chose very flawed people, including Judas, to be His disciples... so I am trying to have more grace and more of a prayerful attitude for those in leadership all around.

2.  LifeGroup ~ Wow, I am thankful for the LifeGroup.  Amazing how difficult it is to find anything similar elsewhere.  I've technically been involved with this group since early 2007, and of all the groups I've tried, this group has done the best job of combining genuine Christianity and Bible study with fun and sincere friendships!!!  Both the Diving Deeper group and Ruth's group are from LifeChurch, and I am so very connected with the people, and that makes all the difference!

3.  Life ~ I've realized that I really enjoy being part of a big church... not because of the hype and the popularity, but because there is life and growth and continually reaching out and bringing in new people and seeing lives change (my brother-in-law, for one example).  It's messy and imperfect because we are human, but it's also exciting because the presence and LIFE of God is there!  I cannot ever be a part of a small church that is simply content to forever be small, because that is stagnant and stale.  As Pastor Craig has said, "If we are going to make any errors, let them be errors of aggression and not passivity!"  LifeChurch is alive and passionate and purposeful, and that is awesome!

They're opening a campus in Jenks soon, so YAY for that!!
The end.

Remembering...

17 years ago today...

I wrote this little poem in May of 1995.  (If you're tempted to judge the quality, please keep in mind that I was in 5th Grade that year.)
The last two lines are still my favorite...

I cannot imagine for I did not see
How tragic and frightening the bomb blast would be...
How scary to see the windows fly out,
How painful the sorrow, the worry, the doubt.
How grateful for workers that rescued someone
And risked their own lives to repair what was done.
It would be very painful if a loved one was killed,
But peaceful to know that in heaven, they'd be healed.
Who would do such a thing, I cannot decide.
As the President said, they can run but can't hide.
As I pray for the people that are in so much pain,
I watch America pull together again.
In spite of it all, it is helpful to know
That God's on the throne and He's still in control.

Words of Wisdom Wednesday ~ Dr. Seuss

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. 

There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” 

“Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot,

Nothing is going to get better.  It's not.”

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. 

You can steer yourself any direction you choose. 

You're on your own. And you know what you know. 

And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go.....

You can get all hung up in a prickle-ly perch.
And your gang will fly on. You'll be left in a Lurch.

You'll come down from the Lurch with an unpleasant bump.
And the chances are, then, that you'll be in a Slump.

And when you're in a Slump, you're not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself is not easily done.....

Somehow you’ll escape all that waiting and staying. 
You’ll find the bright places where Boom Bands are playing. 

With banner flip-flapping once more you’ll ride high! 

Ready for anything under the sky. 

Ready because you’re that kind of guy!

....You'll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. 

You'll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. 

So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact 

And remember that Life's a Great Balancing Act....

And will you succeed? Yes indeed, yes indeed! 

Ninety-eight and three-quarters percent guaranteed!”

(Oh, The Places You'll Go)

“Be who you are and say what you feel,
because those who mind don't matter,
and those who matter don't mind.”   

“When you think things are bad,
when you feel sour and blue,

when you start to get mad,
you should do what I do!
Just tell yourself, Duckie, 

you're really quite lucky!

Some people are muchly much-much more unlucky...
You ought to be thankful a whole heaping lot, 
for the places and people you're lucky you're not!"

"Don't give up! I believe in you all.

A person's a person no matter how small.”

"You're never too old, too wacky, too wild

To pick up a book and read to a child!"

~Dr. Seuss

Happy 4th Birthday to my nephew, Carter (the one in green)!! =)

Cycle of Renewal

I <3 Psychology.

I also <3 blogging.  So I'm letting myself write one post every time I finish another paper for school.  (Yay, me!)  =)  This will be several random thoughts, followed by one deeper train of thought....

• "Mock! -- Yeah. -- Ing! -- Yeah."  ......That's right, they are officially filming Dumb & Dumber 2 (with Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels, not the painful Dumb & Dumberer crew) ...it's 18 years later, but still, how psyched am I!?  =)
• They're also making Anchorman 2, which is fun, but not quite as thrilling.  "I'm Ron Burgundy?"
• It has been almost a year since the wedding of William and Kate.  Craziness!  I know this because I bought US Weekly's "Anniversary Album" yesterday. lol  Prince Harry is definitely the hottest brother now.  And Kate is freaking awesome, and the only celebrity that makes me think fashion is exciting.  I want to be her when I grow up. lol 

• Birthday party for Triston and Carter tomorrow.  Get excited!
• Also, it's been decided that "Get excited" should be the phrase on my Save the Date cards when I get married.  I think they were probably joking, but that's happening. :)
• My last random thought is that I'm sooooo ridiculously tired right now.  I must get better at time management, and somehow less aware of all that is 'hanging over my head' still to be done.  I'm getting up early to drive to OKC tomorow, so I fully plan to sleep in this Sunday.  (Then I'll go see Titanic for the final time in theaters, exactly 100 years to the date after the sinking.)  And don't judge me; I'll watch a sermon online tomorrow. :)

Okay, diving deeper now...

One of the most interesting things I've learned lately is the "Cycle of Renewal."  [All this is in the Life Launch book by McLean and Hudson.]  There are four phases:

1. GO FOR IT!!  ~ The phase many people love most.  This is when we feel alive and passionate,  really going for a specific goal or dream.  We're making purposeful choices and seeing the potential and purpose in everything we do.  It is awesome (I'm in this one right now with school)... but it will not last forever.
2. THE DOLDRUMS ~ This is when what once was super-exciting becomes unfilfilling.  In this stage of life, we feel trapped and unhappy, like everything about our life is stuck in a rut, but we don't believe there is much we can do to change the situation.  The book said the most important thing to do here is to notice that you are in this phase.  And that 90% of the time, you can make a "mini-transition" to put you back in the "Go for it" phase.  When it's something bigger and a mini-transition is not going to cut it, the next phase is:
3. COCOONING ~ This means detaching from all that is no longer meaningful and taking an emotional 'time out' to heal and reflect... this happens when we take a major courageous leap of faith or when an extenal crisis pushes us to a breaking point. According to the book, this only happens a handful of times in any person's life (although I can already think of 3 in my own).  In this phase, you decide that your own inner voice is more reliable than anyone else.  You read a lot, lay around a lot, breathe, cry, and give yourself time to really mourn and/or process through all that has changed.  It usually lasts several months, but leads to renewed purpose and hope.
4. GETTING READY  ~ This is just what it says - researching and networking and getting excited about possible new options and adventures.  Trying out some new things, seeing what fits and what doesn't.  Deciding what needs to change in you and what you want the next chapter of life to be... and then, you're back to Stage 1!

What I love (and the following is just my personal thoughts, so don't blame the book if it makes no sense) is how these phases correspond to the four seasons...

Phase 1 = Summer, when everything is vibrant and in full bloom 

Phase 2 = Autumn, when the leaves are beginning to change and fall away

Phase 3 = Winter, when things slow down and the main life and growth is happening internally

Phase 4 = Spring, when there are signs of new life and color everywhere

Four seasons of epic tree-bridge awesomeness!!

What I love even more is how this all corresponds to the four personality types...

Summer = Drivers, who tend to be sure of themselves and full of vibrant energy (Go for It!)

Autumn = Analyticals, who tend to be pessimistic and avoid taking major risks (The Doldrums)

Winter =  Amiables, who tend to be introspective, highly sensitive, and quiet (Cocooning)

Spring = Expressives, who are 'colorful,' warm, and eager to embrace new adventures (Getting Ready)

Yes, friends, I am a WINTER, which is complete perfection in my mind.  It has long been my favorite season, and so many people fail to appreciate its beauty.  As for the phases, they rotate just like the seasons as we move through our lives.  And I guess God is like the sun that is always there regardless of weather.  Anyway, I don't mean to imply that any personality type is stuck in a certain phase, only that a certain phase may feel most natural to each of us.  And it's true... I love the concept of "cocooning," of slowing down, detaching, and letting God do something deep in my heart that transforms me and allows me to move forward with renewed hope and purpose!  It's not just that I love getting back to Phase 1, but that I appreciate the whole cozy cocooning process.

One more time, with my happy text additions. :)  I just love all this!  Perhaps I'll get to teach a class on it someday.?  Anyway, this might make more sense for those who are visual.  The white text is all about personalities and the color is the seasons of change.

Anyway, the "cycle of renewal" provides a mini road map for change.  It's comforting that God is always there, that each phase is important, and that no one phase lasts forever.  When you feel stuck in The Doldrums, you can stay proactive and focus on improving your current situation... or possibly beginning an entirely new chapter of life.  ...Okay, I'm really done writing now.

Something totally ridiculous:  I'm listening to The Simpsons Movie in the background as I write all this. lol  "Spiderpig, Spiderpig, does whatever a Spiderpig does!" :)

Titanic

No, I haven't finished my papers yet, but I'm caught up for the week, so I wanted to write and give you all a friendly reminder to go see Titanic in theaters... it's so much better on the big screen, seriously. :)

TITANIC... back in 1997, I was drawn in by the previews, but wondered if it would live up to the hype or be another letdown.  We saw it opening day - December 19, 1997 - when I was in eighth grade.  I remember feeling in awe as I left the theater, and spending most of the following day thinking through different parts of the film.  Over the next several months, my Mom, Rach, and I (with different friends and cousins each time) saw it 12 more times in theaters.  Yes, I was one of those girls.

Now (100 years after the ship sank) it has been re-released in 3D.  I wondered whether it might lose some of it's grandeur and appeal now that I have it memorized, 15 years have passed, and I'm no longer enthralled with Leo Dicaprio.  Mom and I saw it yesterday (#14 for me)... and I can gladly say the answer is no.  I found nothing about it cheesy or ridiculous.  I identified with Rose more than before, and cried more than once during the ending, which surprised me.  I don't know that I can put it all into words, but I LOVE everything about this movie.  I think James Cameron is brilliant!

For starters, I so love that older Rose has a little white Pomeranian dog to keep her company. :)  I love Mr. Andrews, Molly Brown, Fabrizio, and the captain.  And it gets me every time that the last words they sang at their church service were: "Lord, hear us when we cry to Thee for those in peril on the sea."

Rose's entrance in this scene is so fantastic... I remember sketching this dress and hat during church one Sunday. lol  I love it, and really, I love every dress she wears throughout the movie -- I want the elegance, the hats, the long dresses, the gloves, and even the corsets to come back in, please!  I also want her long red hair with natural curl, and to be that exact size!  Okay, moving on.....

Jack is smitten from the first moment he sees her.  I even love that.

Rose is engaged to a man she doesn't love and feels trapped in a world full of shallow people who do not care to really know who she is or what she thinks about anything.  She describes herself as "standing in the middle of a crowded room, screaming at the top of my lungs, and no one even looks up."  In this scene, she is contemplating suicide as a way to escape it all... enter Jack Dawson, who literally pulls her off the ledge.

Rose:  "You have a gift, Jack.  You do.  You see people..."
Jack:  "I see you."
Rose:  "And??"
Jack:  "You wouldn't have jumped!"
 In this conversation, I used to think Jack was mocking/teasing her.  I don't think so anymore.  When Rose says he "sees people," she is talking about him seeing through the external image and seeing the value in people society looks down on (obvious in their conversation about his sketches).  He says, "I see you."  And she immediately goes to the flirty image-centered, "And?" clearly expecting him to hit on her or compliment her beauty.  His answer, "you wouldn't have jumped" is just so perfect.  He sees past her emotional fragility to her inner strength and spirit (a familiar combo to me).  It's a compliment, not a jab, and the best part is that it's not at all shallow.

"They've got you trapped, Rose. And you're gonna die if you don't break free.  Maybe not right away, because you're strong, but sooner or later, that fire that I love about you, Rose... that fire is gonna burn out."
"It's not up to you to save me, Jack."
"You're right.  Only you can do that."
Brilliant, and again, making her heart central (something that never occurs to her fiance).
The "Hello, Jack... I changed my mind" line was better than ever to me this last time!

I love this scene - where she finds the gumption to tell off her incredibly selfish mother and fiance... leaving them to go after the one person who truly cares about her, fully knowing she may never see them again.

 And finally, the ending, which John Eldredge called "the secret of the film's success." 
It had never occurred to me before reading that, but I completely agree now.
You see the sunken and decaying ship, sitting in the darkness... and as the camera moves across it, it transforms to the grandness of the ship when it was just built, light shining through every window.  Every person you love from the film is there, and Jack is at the clock waiting for her ("Make it count.  Meet me at the clock" = the only note he ever wrote her.)  I. love. it.  (And again, love her hair and dress in this final scene.)  They kiss and the crowd applauds, then the camera moves up to show light shining through where the chandelier had been before, to me, implying that they're in heaven.
Either way, instead of leaving the theater with a feeling of loss, despair, and sadness... there is joy and restoration and awe.  Epic. 
(And a fantastic metaphor for creation, the fall, and being restored to paradise with God.)

Rose says of Jack that "He saved me, in every way a person can be saved."
Jack, who pulled her off the suicidal ledge in the beginning, says these final words to her as they are both freezing and near death: "You must promise me that you'll survive.  That you won't give up, no matter what happens, no matter how hopeless... and never let go of that promise."
More than ever before, I loved that!

Thankful Thursday (51)

Today, I'm thankful for:

1.   Easter weekend coming soon!  A couple past Easter pics...

Easter 2011 - Lunch after church with the fam + Josh and the boys, who were not officially part of 'the fam' yet

Easter 2010 - Dinner at Bobbi's house with this group... most of whom I haven't seen in over a year now.  Interesting looking back through FB albums and seeing how much has changed!

2.  I'm thankful for all that Easter is about... the resurrection of Christ, and the way His power can bring "new life" out of anything that feels dead in our lives.

3.  For Psalm 34

4.  For getting to hang out with Jennie this weekend... I tried Moscato wine, hummus, and some other foods from Whole Foods for the first time! (Yay, new things!)  We had a good talk and then we watched Army Wives, another thing I'm thankful for lately! lol

5.  For all the things that haven't changed... the wonderful few friendships that have remained solid over the past several years!

6.  For purpose and for peace.

7.  For Starbucks chocolate cinnamon bread.  Yum! :)

Side note:  I have six -- SIX -- "Life Learning Papers" to write, and starting now, I'm going to try to put all my writing energy into them until I get them done!  (Meaning I may not be blogging for a while, but no worries, I'll be back soon enough... with several more happy college credit hours on my record.)

For Connection and Redemption

God is so awesome! 

I'm not one to be bubbling over with excitement, but I feel that right now... so much passion, purpose, joy, connection, and GOD right there at the center of it all!!!

Pastor Craig's Easter sermon is going to focus on answering why bad things happen to good people.  Why sometimes life is painful and God seems unfair.  I watched Stepmom a couple days back (probably the best sad movie ever, in my opinion) and was struck by the fact that the bitterness and anger and jealousy were tearing the family apart until something gut-wrenchingly tragic forced them (especially the mom and stepmom) to connect and learn to love and encourage each other.  I've been thinking about that a lot, and in my opinion, the simple two-word answer to why God allows tragedy in our lives would be for connection and redemption. For starters, the worst thing that ever happened to Jesus allowed all of us to be redeemed and forever connected to God.  Not abandoned or cast off, but connected and never forsaken.  And in every negative life event that I can remember, the obvious good that has come from it is new and/or deeper relationships with people, and stronger faith in Christ.

Last night in class, we had to answer ONE of the following 3 questions and share our answer with the class:

1. What events/factors/decisions have had the greatest influence or impact on your life as it is today?
2. As you reflect on your current life situation, are you where you thought you would be at this point in your life?  Why or why not?
3. Has there been a crisis moment in your life that has forced you to closely examine your life and the direction you were going?  Explain as much as you are comfortable sharing.

I answered #1, starting off with my salvation and walk with God, which I said was the common thread that held me up through the rest of it.  I talked about seeing bitter divorces and tragic juvenile cases in court, as well as several criminals who have chosen to numb out and harden their hearts to the world... and how that spurred my desire to become a counselor.  I shared in very brief form about being diagnosed with Bells Palsy, Blake's brain tumors and treatments, facing major rejection and losing several friendships, Daniel's death, being mad at God, Mom's cancer, and my parents' car wreck.  And I said that in every bad event, God has been faithful and is using it for good in the end!  

When we took our break (class is 4 hours, so we get a 30 minute break around 7:45), the two women in our class who have endured the devastating loss of their own child both made it a point to talk to me.  The first hugged me and commented on the testimony in me being so "full of joy," and the other talked more openly about recently coming out of a period of being very angry with God herself.  That all might sound like a small thing, but it was huge to me that God used me speaking up about my story (much smaller in scale to theirs) to help me connect with these women. The mix of strength and compassion and dignity that I see in their lives today is the result of seeking God in the middle of their greatest tragedy.  It's powerful.

The details of each person's major trials and what they learned from them became more clear, and several new stories emerged.  Listening to that and wanting to cry thinking about what some of them have been through, I found myself feeling so thankful to be a part of this class!  Knowing that God connected me with these exact people for a reason at this time.  It really felt anointed - the clear presence/favor of God right there in our midst.  Hearing everyone's answers to these questions was my absolute favorite thing we've done so far!  I loved the honesty and vulnerability and depth and pain and redemption weaving through it all.  And I guess my point in all this is that sincere, deep heart connections like that would not be possible without suffering through the depth of real despair and tragedy and pain... and the overwhelming sense of joy and purpose would not be so apparent in our lives if we did not KNOW that there is a God whose love is deeper still!

April Fools Day 2012

Today (4-2-12) is Triston's 5th Birthday!! =)

Happy B-day, T-man!

It's also Jace's 2-month-old 'birthday.'

Congrats, Bubby!  We can't wait to see your little smile soon!!

Yesterday, we took several pictures to commemorate these important dates.... in the pic below, the boys were all pretty tired of it. lol

 So freaking adorable!

The boys trying to figure out what fishing is all about :) 

I loved all these pictures of Josh with the boys!

And how cute is this!?

Jace sleeping away in his Thunder gear!

Side note:  Josh did an all caps "WE ARE PREGNANT AGAIN" status for April Fools, and I think I'm the only one who fell for it for a bit.

"Peace out!" :)

And on that note, my "memory" for this Monday is riding in the back of Grandad's pickup with Rach and Blake... (never on the highway, rest assured, but on our way to get an Icee or something).  We made up a game where each color or type of car was a certain personality... like SUVs were mean, vans were friendly, and pickups were chasing us so we had to hide from them. :) Always so much fun!  ...Happy Monday. =)