My thoughts:
I loved this book. It was insightful and brilliantly written, but more than anything else I could say in praise of the book, the real reason it meant a lot to me is that it made me feel:
A) that I'm not alone
B) that I'm not inferior to anyone
C) that my gifts and temperament are deeply valuable
Over the course of my life, based on several negative associations (and what I now understand as the "extrovert ideal" in our society), I have come to loathe the words "shy" and "quiet." It's subtle, but in my heart, I kept hearing the same painful isolating message that I am not enough and that something is wrong with me. As a sensitive introvert, I strongly sense and feel the sharp tone and disapproving undercurrent in certain introductions and conversations, and tend to take it pretty seriously. I want so much to be appreciated and heard and understood, to really CONNECT with people. But I have never been great at small talk - it just doesn't interest me much. It probably never will, and I'm okay with that at this point!
There will always be things to work with God and improve on, but I love the quiet, thoughtful, intelligent, compassionate, introverted woman I am becoming. I love that I strive for excellence and use caution and discernment before I speak. I really love that I prefer quality over quantity in relationships. ❤
I love that I have a strong conscience and strong emotions, as difficult as it makes my life sometimes. And I love that I am perfectly suited to become a counselor and a writer in the future, to be exactly who God has called me to be! Obviously, I love and adore my spunky, confident, fun, vocal, extroverted friends... but I don't feel any need or desire to force myself into that mold or become like them, and that freedom is something new. It's okay that it takes me a lot more time to make important decisions and it's okay that I would rather observe than participate sometimes. I love that we are so very different and that God designed us to compliment each other so well! =)
Anyway, I recommend the book. Highly! She says: "Introverts are capable of acting like extroverts for the sake of work they consider highly important, people they love, or anything they value highly." And that made a lot of sense to me! She shares insightful tips on overcoming anxiety, public speaking, and raising introverted children in a society that 'can't hear them.' I also loved the chapter on the communication gap between introverts and extroverts - several things that I'd never considered before and that helped me understand myself and my driver/expressive friends better! (There was a brief section on evolution that I obviously didn't agree with, but actually, it really made me laugh. Apparently, the very existence of introverts in the evolutionary theory of "survival of the fittest" where "the bold and aggressive generally prevail" presents a real problem for some people in believing that lie. =))
A Few Favorite Quotes:
“We don’t ask why God chose as his prophet a stutterer with a public speaking phobia. But we should. The book of Exodus is short on explication, but its stories suggest that introversion plays yin to the yang of extroversion; that the medium is not always the message; and that people followed Moses because his words were thoughtful, not because he spoke them well.”
“I worry that there are people who are put in positions of authority because they're good talkers, but they don't have good ideas. It's so easy to confuse schmoozing ability with talent."
(on her Driver-personality husband:)
"I also know that his tougher attitude is good for me, and I find his company endlessly delightful. I love his effortless charm. I love that he never runs out of interesting things to say. I love how he pours his heart and soul into everything he does, and everyone he loves, especially our family."
"Studies have shown that, indeed, introverts are more likely than extroverts to express intimate facts about themselves online that their family and friends would be surprised to read, to say that they can express the 'real me' online... They welcome the chance to communicate digitally. The same person who would never raise his hand in a lecture hall of two hundred people might blog to two thousand, or two million, without thinking twice."
Haha.... yes!
"It's not always easy, it turns out, to identify your core personal projects. And it can be especially tough for introverts who have spent so much of their lives conforming to extroverted norms that by the time they choose a career, or a calling, it feels perfectly normal to ignore their own preferences. They may be uncomfortable in law school or nursing school or in the marketing department, but no more so than they were back in middle school or summer camp."
...This is SO TRUE.
“Spend your free time the way you like, not the way you think you're supposed to. Stay home on New Year's Eve if that's what makes you happy. Skip the committee meeting. Cross the street to avoid making aimless chitchat with random acquaintances. Read. Cook. Run. Write a story... Don't mistake assertiveness or eloquence for good ideas.”
"Love is essential, gregariousness is optional." =)
Book Description on Amazon:
"At least one-third of the people we know are introverts. They are the ones who prefer listening to speaking, reading to partying; who innovate and create but dislike self-promotion; who favor working on their own over brainstorming in teams. Although they are often labeled "quiet," it is to introverts that we owe many of the great contributions to society--from van Gogh’s sunflowers to the invention of the personal computer.
Passionately argued, impressively researched, and filled with indelible stories of real people, Quiet shows how dramatically we undervalue introverts, and how much we lose in doing so... This extraordinary book has the power to permanently change how we see introverts and, equally important, how introverts see themselves."
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