Dentist Neil: "Well, did you get rid of those dogs yet?"
(He likes to pretend that he's not a fan of Poms.)
Me: "Never! They're precious!! ...They do bark way too much, though. I'm worried that my neighbors are gonna hate me."
Dentist Neil: "Hmm, maybe you should get their throats taken out!"
...He was talking about a legit veterinary procedure where dogs are devocalized or their bark is softened, but the way he phrased it just sounded incredibly violent and made me and his hygienist look at him in disgust... then we all laughed about it. :)
Dentist Neil: "He's got me hooked on this new show called Utopia. (pause) ...It probably shouldn't be watched by you. It gets a little twisty."
Me: "Hmm, do you watch Breaking Bad?"
Neil: "Did I ever!! Did you watch it?"
Me: "No. But Laura was a fan, and she told me that it shouldn't be watched by me either!"
Neil: "Really!? I think everyone should watch it! ...Well, maybe you ought to stick to watching things that are all roses and puppies!" lol
Dentist Neil: "He went out and got himself engaged, like an idiot."
Me: "Uh-oh, are you not a fan of the girl?"
Neil: "No, she's great! But I'm just saying, once you get married, you can't do whatever you want anymore. You know, like, maybe there are four movies out that you wanna see, but you never have the free time... then when you do have the free time, you'd feel guilty for going to see a movie."
Me: "Aww, life must be rough." #sarcasm
A couple seconds later...
Neil: "Hey, what are you gonna have for dinner tonight?"
Me: "Uh--"
Neil: "Whatever you want - THAT'S WHAT!! ...I'm just saying, enjoy it while you can!"
...At the end of my appointment, he showed me some cute videos of his son, and I said, "See, now isn't that better than going to the movies all the time!?" :)
(Dentist Neil reminds me a bit of JEM in his love of reminiscing and "what if" questions and generally being super entertaining. In the middle of working on my teeth, he'll often pause to chime in with a random topic like wanting to buy "the ugliest one" of Bob Ross' paintings for his living room... or to ask a random question like this:)
Neil: "So what if you meet a great guy, but then he tells you you have to get rid of those dogs?"
Me: "Not likely!"
Neil: "Really?"
Me: "How serious am I about this imaginary guy?"
Neil: "He's the one - you're ready to marry him!"
Me: "Hmm, in that case, if he had a legitimate reason, then maybe I could --"
Neil (dramatically interrupting me): "YOUUU TURNCOAT!! Men aren't that great! You'll probably be together for like a month and then you'll wish you had those dogs back! ...Or you two will be walking along in the park, holding hands, then you'll glance over and see the dogs huddled together by a trash can, trying to stay warm! And he'll be trying to pull you along, and you'll be like, 'Oh nooo, which world should I choose!?'"
(Pause.)
Me: "...Wow!"
Neil: "It could happen."
The night of the monkey bread fiasco at Sarah's (we'd both been coughing from all the smoke):
Me: "Well, I have to head out soon."
Sarah Elizabeth: "I know; it's getting late. I'm sorry for choking you with the scent of my failure!" lol
At the FBC $2 Wednesday dinner before Impact Classes:
"Yeah, Chet's started a business flipping houses with his friend. It's called Threesacrowd, LLC! Meanwhile, I'm gonna start Tableforone, LLC, and find something in my neighborhood to work with!" ~JEM
"Oh, I'm sure there's some garbage over there somewhere." ~Chet Lee
(It'd take too long to try to explain that whole thing, but it was pretty funny!) :)
Me: "Hi, Jaceman."
J: "Hiiii!"
Me: "How was school today?"
J: "Pretty good. I have some homework."
Me: "You DO!? Have you already started on it?"
J: "Umm, yeah... Hey, lemme talk to Chet!"
Me: "Oh, umm, he's not with me right now, bud."
J: "Whyyyy!?"
(That was a first, but really cute!)
Judge came into my office with a really solemn look on his face...
Judge: "Hey, do you still have a friend who works down at Chesapeake!?"
(Awkward pause as I know Laura can hear us and I'm pondering if there's a lighthearted way to explain my "BFF" ruthlessly cutting me out of her life forever...)
Me: "Yehhhs."
Judge: "Well, they just laid off a BUNCH of people today!!"
Me: "Oh, I didn't know... I haven't talked to her in a little while."
Judge: "Boy, it was rough. I sure hope she made the cut!"
(Brief pause again...)
Me: "Mmmm."
Hopefully he interpreted my random noise as thoughtful agreement. lol
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