The downtime today has been good (Spa Day Sunday), and I've actually had a lot of fun time with family and friends and the girlfranz lately, but I've still been feeling a little lonely. I know the ironic truth is that I am not alone in feeling that way. Everyone has seasons of feeling forgotten or misunderstood or undesirable or lonely or bored or tired of waiting on ___ or just feeling sad for no particular reason. I'm getting better at turning to God in those moments and not spiraling downward or letting my feelings take control...
Today, my mind wandered to children in the foster care system, thinking about the hard things they have seen and heard and how alone and afraid and sad and forgotten they might sometimes feel. God redirected my thoughts, so my sad moment was cut off and turned into compassion and prayer. I want to help. I want to be a mom or at least a mother figure to a child in desperate need of care and love and hope. I want to do the fun aunt stuff, but I want to do all the hard mom stuff, too. I want to be all in. It's something I've thought and prayed about for quite a while now -- I wrote about it for the first time HERE back in 2010 -- and my thoughts echo a very similar pattern today, but with more confidence and peace, a deeper understanding of the sacrifice and commitment involved, and far less fear of other people's judgments. So I signed up today for info and classes on foster parenting and/or fostering to adopt... get excited!! I know I am! =)
I could obviously say a lot more on that subject and the financial planning behind it and other big decisions that go along with it, but I'm just gonna leave it there for now and be praying for God's direction. So that's all I've got today. Carry on! ;)
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