A Theme to his Schemes

I don't know the exact quote or even which book it was in, but I know John Eldredge wrote about a theme to the attacks of Satan in our lives.  A personally-crafted enemy attack, uniquely targeted to each person based on what we love and where we could do the most damage to his agenda.

That understanding continues to help me immensely in interpreting what is happening in my life...

I love genuine connection.  Love close relationships.  Love deep conversations.  Love and value solid, long-term friendships.  To know and be known - to love and be loved.  Relationships rich with laughter, harmony, joy, mutual compassion, and shared values.  Broken relationships cause me intense pain, and I love relational restoration and redemption.

To say that my heart has been targeted there would be the understatement of the century.

Contrary to my desire, another close friendship quietly dissolved recently.  I am not focusing on the details of that here, and indeed, I don't fully know or understand them.  

.....

But I do know this:  The overarching shame/humilation and condemnation I've been struggling with over another friendship ending are not coming from God.  (Any time you feel defeated, that's not the voice of Jesus.  Even when the Holy Spirit convicts us, He does so in a way where we feel hopeful and empowered to overcome our worst vices.  He pulls us up - Satan pushes us down.)

The enemy would love to convince me that I am terrible at relationships.  That I am undesirable both romantically and as a friend.  That there's not much point in trying, and this is basically a joke to others.  That I have zero business becoming a counselor.  That I'm more likely to hurt others than help them.  Etc.

Deep breaths.  I cannot linger there or give in to that thought spiral.

It's my job to recognize this for what it is, and to fight those lies with truth... to step up and walk in the anointing, power, and authority of Christ!!  To know that Jesus is always with me and will never reject or condemn me.  I belong to Him, and I belong with Him.  I am chosen and wanted and loved by God, and I have a few very wonderful, solid friends.  No one is perfect, so people are likely to disappoint us or break our hearts when we place too much hope in them - relationships are messy, but that doesn't mean close friendships or romantic relationships are not worth pursuing.  The distancing, rejection, deep indifference, and betrayals I have experienced were not deserved.  The pattern is indicative of a thematic enemy attack, not massive personal shortcomings.  I am not a victim or a villain.  Broken relationships will not define me.  I am called to be a counselor, to speak words of life and hope, to help hurting people and play a vital part in beautiful, restorative, redemptive stories.  IT MATTERS.  My experience with deep relational pain will strengthen my compassion and skill in counseling.  I am clearly imperfect, but I have many good qualities, and I genuinely value and care about people.  I am a good friend, aunt, daughter, sister, cousin, etc.  God will empower me to forgive and love and help people, to do good things that have a lasting effect on others.  I am worthy of love and respect, so I will hold my head high knowing these truths!

...

I'm guessing there is also a theme to the pain and suffering you've faced, a pattern to the struggles you have experienced in life!  Consider how the enemy may be attacking you in an area that could be your greatest strength... fight the lies with truth, and remember Jesus is with you and for you!!!

I think about this often, so I'm surprised that I can't find any post where I've written about this topic before.  Sarah and I talked about it when she came to visit me on Friday night, and I decided to share it here today!

...And now, here's a random hot air balloons pic just so this post will have a photo. =)

May you not seek your own good, but the good of others!

(I Corinthians 10:24)