Days 7-10 ~ It's All Uphill From Here!

Okay, I'm gonna go ahead and get the rest of the "Blogging Challenge" over with today....

Day 7 ~ The nicknames I have and why I have them.

Really not that interesting in my case...
Nina ~ Grandad and Dad call me this - it's been around as long as I can remember, and I really don't know where it came from. ??
Swadie ~ My Mom's nickname for me, and again, it is without definite origin. :)
Letty ~ Rach started calling me this after we watched Fast and the Furious a million times one summer. :)

Nicknames I have for others include Malo-riah, Mary Sunshine, Glamour Shots, Jeffster, Master Blaster, Chet-a-lee, Laura-lai... and for my parents' puppies, Ray-geddy Anne, ReggiePup, and Rye-lister. :)

Day 8 ~ Something I crave.

I crave chocolate and sugar, in a variety of different forms, every single day. (Lately, Braums chocolate mix with Reeses and Panera chocolate chip muffies are topping the list.) Also, carbs and cheese - on the rare occasions that I'm not wanting something sweet, these are the foods I'm craving.  Sadly, fruits and vegetables and protein never make the cut on foods I want to eat.  This is why it's important that I learn to ignore my cravings and go after what I truly desire in the long term - HEALTH!  (That applies in all areas of life, but food is the main one that comes to mind on cravings)!

Day 9 ~ A letter to your parents.

Sorry to disappoint, but all my letters to people will be written to them personally, not to everyone who reads my blog. I LOVE and am deeply thankful for my parents, and if you want to read more about them, see the Tributes I wrote last year... =)
Dad!!
Mom!!

Day 10 ~ A picture of me last year and this year, and how I have changed.

This is where it gets rough... I've been mildly dreading this post. (And at the same time, because I'm funny like that, already looking forward to writing it next year!) The above 2 pictures were taken around this time last year. So many things have changed. The top picture is Malori, Chet, and I getting ready to redo my garage floor! :) At that point, Malori and I were roommates and Chet was one of my closest friends. I was the happiest I'd been in a long time, and not coincidentally, I was in the best shape I'd been in for many years, having lost 35 pounds and seriously training to run my first Half Marathon!

The second picture is the "Diving Deeper" Lifegroup - which had been going strong for a year. At that time, I was co-leading the LG with Carl and Bobbi, and Chet and I were busy planning and organizing the Eugene Field Christmas gifts and parties! (Since this picture was taken, Malori got a job at CHK and moved to OKC, Carl moved to Dallas, Bill moved to OKC for school, and I transitioned to the Church at BattleCreek, and Michael has stepped in as the new co-leader.)

The picture below is from the awesome One Republic/Maroon 5 concert this year!

Obviously, there have been some bright spots and awesome memories, most of which I've captured on this blog. But largely, the past year has been difficult and downhill, in my opinion. (And to be fair, I was at a really high point this time last year - both in relationships and looks and confidence, so the comparison was bound to be rough.)  There have been some unexpected friendship changes, and it's been a struggle to let go and have the right Christlike, forgiving attitude. In addition, Malori moved out at the beginning of the year, which didn't hurt our friendship, but has made me far more aware of being alone than I'd been before. There has also been more family-related stress than normal this year, at least for me personally. And in response to all these changes and emotions, I've gone for the cravings and gained back the weight I worked so hard to lose last year. Awesome!

The main problem is that my heart has not been in it - and by "it" I mean life in general. I've been coasting... which can only happen when you're moving downhill. I haven't been challenging myself, reading, or spending one on one time with God the way I did a year ago. I've become more insecure and found it harder to trust people. I tried a couple groups and activities that really didn't work out, and since then, have somewhat given up trying to get involved in my new church. I have felt completely misunderstood, and more alone and insignificant than normal, and have turned to TV and food rather than anything that might actually help me. I've focused too much on my weaknesses and lost sight of my strengths. I've lost confidence and been very frustrated with myself over the weight gain, to a point that I was trying dangerous weight loss methods, and I've not been able to gear up and get my mind in the right place to be truly healthy just yet. So there is a clear and obvious difference in my race training and running ability from one year to the next. Yikes!

All that to say this: "It's all uphill from here!" I know that's not the proper quote, as pointed out in Due Date, but it totally fits right now. I've gone downhill far enough, and I know the next year won't be easy, but it'll be much better than coasting.  I'm ready to turn around and put my heart into it and do all that is required to move in the right direction! And I'm hopeful that my life this time next year will be dramatically improved! =D

So that's it for this year's Blogging Challenge! You stay classy, San Diego. ;)