It's nice enough, but a bit boring at the moment...
"Many of us are normal because we are afraid. We aren’t taking responsibility for the exceptional opportunities that are laid before us. We have failed to realize that God shares agency with us. He shares His power, and even His will. God is the Father sitting with His child at a giant, blank piece of butcher paper asking us what we want to draw. And within reason, we can draw whatever we want!" ~Donald Miller
A good story = A character who wants something meaningful and is willing to overcome conflict to get it!
So what do I want my life story to look like? What really matters? What makes the things I desire meaningful enough to fight for them? What conflicts will I have to overcome in order to get there?? These questions led me to create this list... it is only six points at the moment, but I'm calling it the "Top 7" because I know that something else will eventually rise up as an important desire. And of course, because 7 is the perfect number. ;-)
My Current Top 7 List:
1) Communicate with God daily & do a monthly "surrender-check" on my heart and motives!
2) Train for and run (and by run, I mean complete by mostly jogging and walking) a MARATHON!
3) Lose 100 pounds (without surgery or any extreme diet)!
4) Get my Masters Degree in Psychology!
5) Adopt a Child!
6) Write and lead a Bible study on healing from rejection!
7) Still a mystery *
Why these desires are meaningful:
1) Because I am nothing and can do nothing on this list apart from Jesus, so praying and/or reading my Bible every day is essential! And because if my heart is not surrendered and trusting Him in some area, I want to deal with it before it does much damage, and be sure that I truly keep Him first!
2) Because the 26.2 is a major accomplishment, and it's important to me to train hard and prove to myself that I can do it and gain some confidence through that!
3) Because I belong to God, because I want to live a long, healthy life... so why not cut my risk for every deadly disease in half!? :) Not to mention the increased health, self-confidence, and beauty that will naturally result!
4) Yeah, did I not mention? I'm going back to school!! Probably this February, but definitely by the Fall! I have thought long and hard about what I want to do and why, and this is the first major step in that direction. It is meaningful because it will enable me to be a voice of restoration and healing, and will help me better understand and relate to people (including my future adopted daughter) on a deeper, heart level!
5) At first, this was mainly about my strong desire to be a mother, which will certainly be meaningful to me. But lately, the desire to love and raise and forever change the life of an orphaned baby - that is strong on my heart. I believe that God will bring the right man into my life, and I believe that marriage and adoption are in my future!
6) Because the subject of rejection is most certainly a theme in my life, and God is continually bringing new insight and more healing there. And because I want to take what Satan intended for evil and allow God to use it for good!!
7) Hmmm... I'll let you know. :)
CONFLICT that I will have to OVERCOME:
My own inner fear and self-doubt
Unforeseen life events
Spiritual opposition
Schedule difficulties with work and school
Challenging school work
Difficult adoption process
Negative opinions of others
Finances and student loans
Food cravings
Desire to be extreme and go too fast on weight loss
Hard running days
Passivity
Selfishness
Etc.
This is NOT a 2012 list. It is a life story list. All of these things have been on my heart in some form for a while. Things that I believe God wants for me too, and things I will have to work and fight for! I'm a little nervous even writing this, but I believe that overcoming the conflict will be worth the effort. And God will help me through it all!!
So... GET EXCITED!!
*You'll notice I am not including marriage - I do desire that, but I do not see it as something that is in my power to control or obtain. And I am not including any major vacation desires or anything creative/artsy because those things are fun, but not as significant to my heart or my life purpose!
I had a tearful emotional breakdown yesterday thinking through all of this and feeling incapable and overwhelmed -- particularly about going back to school and training for the marathon. I fought myself on calling someone and opened the Bible instead. This verse was clearer than anything I could have hoped for:
"I suggest that you finish what you started a year ago, for you were the first to propose this idea, and you were the first to begin doing something about it. Now you should carry this project through to completion just as enthusiastically as you began it. Give whatever you can according to what you have. If you are really eager to give, it isn't important how much you are able to give. God wants you to give what you have, not what you don't have." ~2 Corinthians 8:10-12
So there it is. I'm ready to give what I have, and to FINISH what I have started!!
One more time:
"Don't put your confidence in powerful people; there is no help for you there. When their breathing stops, they return to the earth, and in a moment all their plans come to an end. But happy are those who have the God of Israel as their helper, whose hope is in the LORD their God."
~Psalm 146:3-5
"I will go before you and will level the mountains; I will break down gates of bronze and cut through bars of iron. I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know I am the Lord, the God of Israel, who summons you by name."
~Isaiah 45:2,3
"You don’t have to do this life alone. Jesus stands ready to advise you on every decision you have ahead of you today. For every unknown variable that is overwhelming you today, you have access to consult the only truly wise Being in the Universe. Take time today to seek His counsel."
~Fabs Harford
"When it's time to change, you've got to rearrange who you are into what you're gonna be!"
~The "Silver Platters," aka the Brady kids ;-)
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