Thankful Thursday! (59)

"We know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus... All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God."  ~2 Cor. 4:14-15

Today, I'm thankful for:

1.  Jesus defeating the power of death and sin!

 2.  Not just the Easter story, but also the fun Easter stuffed bunnies and candy and cards, etc.  (When I realized that the cards I got were a chick and a duck, it made me laugh and think of Friends!)

 3.  Meeting Lois, who was delightful and "full of Jesus!" :)

 4.  This picture. lol

5.  The truth in this quote:

6.  Malo-Riah, Chet Lee, and Lauralai Allison! * (Blogger will not let me make the heart icon, but if it would, I would put one here. lol)

7.  The new OneRepublic CD. =)  Music usually has to grow on me... I've only listened to the first 10 songs, but I already love it!  I heart Ryan Tedder!

Song of the Week = Something I Need by OneRepublic!

Celebrating...

Get excited, because today is a very important day... 

The little Boo puppy's 7th Birthday!! lol

Since I'm not quite brave enough to sign up for the work involved in having a dog, I follow the life of Boo via Facebook... my favorite little Pom puppy!  And I have a Boo calendar - (which is why I knew today is his bday) - and a Boo doll, and his picture is often my iphone background.  Yeah, it's completely ridiculous. lol  But look how cute he is - how can that smiley little fluffy face not just cheer you up every time you see it!?

So thanks for brightening my day, Boo... (and Buddy).
Happy Birthday to "the World's Cutest Dog!" =)

You do care.

“I DON'T CARE!" Harry yelled at them, snatching up a lunascope and throwing it into the fireplace. "I'VE HAD ENOUGH, I'VE SEEN ENOUGH, I WANT OUT! I WANT IT TO END. I DON'T CARE ANYMORE!"

"You do care," said Dumbledore. He had not flinched or made a single move to stop Harry demolishing his office. His expression was calm, almost detached. "You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it.” 

Brilliant.  That quote gets me every time I read it - I hear it so personally.

I definitely have the escape tendency and feel this on a regular basis, but I think we all have times when we're under so much pressure or dealing with such intense pain that we just want out - anywhere but here!  We try to cope by convincing ourselves (and sometimes others) that we just don't care anymore.  But if we are honest, we realize that we are absolutely terrified that the pain will overwhelm us if we let ourselves go there.  

Especially because of their relationship, I love the gentle confrontational honesty in Dumbledore's words - it's enough to take my breath away and make me cry.  Really, I think God says something very similar to me when I feign indifference and pretend not to care about the pain of a major loss, or about certain long-held hopes.  I can throw an emotional fit and make a real mess of things just to avoid feeling sad, firmly claiming, "I'm over it; I don't even care."  And Jesus would just stand there calmly... and lovingly say, "No, Lindz, you do care - you care so much that you're terrified to face it - (but your fear is not coming from Me)."  

This is part of what makes keeping a soft heart so difficult.  Because living in this world with a heart that is alive and open and hope-filled truly is scary.  Regular day-to-day disappointments can be arduous, and grief in the big things is "bleed-to-death" painful sometimes.  So much of the world is numbed out these days, and it becomes very comforting to know that we are not alone.  That God cares about everything that hurts us, and He will protect us through our pain if we turn out hearts to Him instead of shutting them down...  I'm working on that.  And on being honest about it when I DO CARE.  And on remembering how this story ends - that totally victory and redemption are coming, one way or another! 

Joy & Sorrow

"Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep."  ~Romans 12:15

Last night, Coach Kufahl -- a very beloved, fun, entertaining teacher and basketball coach at CHA... (and the father of seven great kids, whose wife, Jenni, was recently diagnosed with cancer and the whole school and alumni have been praying for them) -- he got the chance to shoot the half-court shot during half-time at the Thunder game...

He made it... and the prize was $20,000!!  I was so ridiculously excited and happy for them!  Like any guy, he will absolutely love how this happened and have so much fun with it, and the money will help with their growing medical expenses... so many have been praying for them, and they got a great report from her doctors recently, and that coupled with seeing this happen for them was really a gift from God for a lot of people!
Watch Here!

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Today, on the other hand, is the funeral service for Baby Anthony.  
I've never been to a funeral for a baby before, and I know this is going to be terribly difficult and sad.

Not a time for cliche verses and advice, but a time to love and "weep with those who weep."

Life gives us some dramatic highs and lows, and only God Himself knows what is coming next.  But it's comforting that we are never alone - Jesus loves us faithfully and stays close through it all, and He gives us the gift of friends and family surrounding us, to pray with us... celebrate with us in the good times... and cry with us when necessary.  

Thank you for keeping us and Anthony's parents in your prayers today! ❤

All the time...

God is good.

...I looked back through all my prior posts about Baby Anthony, and I used that phrase after he made it through a major surgery.  It's so easy and so natural to say that when you're celebrating something.  But it is good to remember that truth is always truth.  God is just as good and loving and in control today as He was in all the miraculous moments!

"Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my HOPE is in Him.  He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will not be shaken.  My victory and honor come from God alone.  He is my refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me."

~Psalms 62:5-7

Friday night, I went to the Extraordinary Women conference with Kristen and Amanda.  I was not exactly in the mood for the Christian comedian (especially since part of his routine was trying to find the humor in funeral services), but the worship time was truly awesome and meaningful... my heart is hurting over Anthony's death, but not angry or hardened toward God, and He has been really close lately, especially in worship!

When the darkness closes in, Lord, 

Still I will say,

Blessed be the name of the Lord,

Blessed be Your glorious name.

You give and take away,

Still my heart will choose to say,

Lord, blessed be Your name!

Bless the Lord, oh my soul

Oh my soul, worship His holy name.

Sing like never before, oh my soul,

Worship His holy name.

When we arrive at eternity's shore,

Where death is just a memory and tears are no more,

We'll enter in as the wedding bells ring.

Your bride will come together and we'll sing,

You're beautiful!

The Lord has promised good to me;
His Word, my hope secures.

He will my shield and portion be,

As long as life endures!

On my drive to OKC, I listened to the final CD of Eldredge's Hoping in the Coming Kingdom.  It really deserves its own post, as there is not enough room to do it justice here.  So I will write about that later this week.  For now, I'll just say EPIC.  Healing.  Just what I needed that night.

Saturday was the Open Carry class - which was so much better than I'd expected!  It was only me, Rach, mom, Josh, Don, and Donna - and I always appreciate a small group setting.  The instructors, David and Lori, were really great - knowledgeable, entertaining, intrepid, and very approachable.  We learned the legal stuff in the morning, then went out to practice loading, shooting, and unloading different guns!  Really interesting and still surreal to me.  But I'm excited to learn more and try a few other guns and eventually buy one (not to open carry, but I like that I'll have the license)!  

That night, I had dinner at Ihop with Malori, where we were seated next to a cowboy convention of sorts.  This picture doesn't really do it justice, but it was pretty cute and funny... eight men at the table and only one did not have his cowboy hat on. :)  Made me think of Grandad.

Sunday afternoon, we went over to see Kristin and Frankie at Charlene's house.  That was difficult and very sad, but it was really good to get to hug them and talk for a few minutes.  (Actually, I was pretty quiet, and it honestly felt very strange to hear everyone making small talk and joking around a bit, keeping the mood light.  I know it wouldn't be healthy or even possible to dwell on Anthony the whole time, but it felt wrong to me to be happy - I don't know, it's just strange and hard to process.)  To add to the situation, Frankie's dad had a heart attack Saturday morning.  They were on their way to the cemetery to make funeral arrangements when they got a call to come to the hospital.  But on a really positive note, he decided to become a Christian later that day... noting the difference he's seen in Frankie and the way Kristin's family and church family have supported them over the past year!

It really thrills me when people are changed and drawn to God by the church acting like the church and being who God calls us to be.  So that was awesome!  Also, I want to say THANK YOU to everyone who has been praying, (especially to Laura, Chet, Malori, Kelly, Bev, Joan, Jessica, and Kelly for specifically reaching out to me and offering to help however possible).  That means a lot to me, and I know that feeling loved and supported has helped keep my heart soft toward God.  Again, the church acting like the church - yay!

Finally, here is a series of fun pictures from class tonight.  Two of the groups really went all out and got creative with their Zapp presentation.  Hilarious!  ...No, Megan and I were not one of them, but our presentation went well too. :)

If you were hoping for a Monday Metaphor post, I think this one applies pretty well right now.  Let there be light!!

Prayers appreciated...

Please be praying for my cousin and her husband (Kristin & Frankie)... and for me and the rest of the extended family.  

Mom called early this morning to let me know that Baby Anthony died in his sleep last night.  

I don't know many details yet - they think he may have choked on his feeding tube, or it may have been heart-related.  He was so small and frail, and his little body had endured so much.  Kristin went in to check on him early this morning, and she found him dead in his crib.  (Ugh, and apparently, the police are there this morning to take a detailed statement from everyone, making other family members wait outside as they question each person individually.  The death is being treated as a criminal investigation because it involves a young child.  Umm, pray that that process is over quickly.)  

My regular readers know that this baby was on my heart a lot, from the day he was born a little over a year ago.  Mom and I painted and decorated his nursery room while they were in the hospital for the first of many week-long stays.  We just had a major celebration for his first birthday, and there was so much hope for his future.  I'm not fully processing it yet, but I'm not really okay either.  Immediately, my mind wants to question God - WHY did he make it through a full year, and then this?

So I am saying out loud, "God, I trust You.  I don't understand this, but I choose to trust You.  I believe that You love me, that You love them, and that You love Anthony.  I believe he is with You now, and I believe You will bring them through this."  It feels hollow right now, but it helps a little too. 

So all around, prayers would be appreciated.  I know that God is good, all the time... and I want to draw closer to Him now.
"You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You."  ~Isaiah 26:3