Mom called early this morning to let me know that Baby Anthony died in his sleep last night.
I don't know many details yet - they think he may have choked on his feeding tube, or it may have been heart-related. He was so small and frail, and his little body had endured so much. Kristin went in to check on him early this morning, and she found him dead in his crib. (Ugh, and apparently, the police are there this morning to take a detailed statement from everyone, making other family members wait outside as they question each person individually. The death is being treated as a criminal investigation because it involves a young child. Umm, pray that that process is over quickly.)
My regular readers know that this baby was on my heart a lot, from the day he was born a little over a year ago. Mom and I painted and decorated his nursery room while they were in the hospital for the first of many week-long stays. We just had a major celebration for his first birthday, and there was so much hope for his future. I'm not fully processing it yet, but I'm not really okay either. Immediately, my mind wants to question God - WHY did he make it through a full year, and then this?
So I am saying out loud, "God, I trust You. I don't understand this, but I choose to trust You. I believe that You love me, that You love them, and that You love Anthony. I believe he is with You now, and I believe You will bring them through this." It feels hollow right now, but it helps a little too.
So all around, prayers would be appreciated. I know that God is good, all the time... and I want to draw closer to Him now.
"You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You." ~Isaiah 26:3
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