So Long, Farewell, Auf Wiedersehen, Good Night! ;-)

((*CLICK HERE FOR MY NEW BLOG - OR THE "MOVING FORWARD" TAB ABOVE!))

Well, friends, this = blog post #1850 for me (which is also my CSR number, so I made this little collage)!  ...When December rolls around, I will have officially spent 11 years (1/3rd of my life) living in Tulsa and working as a court reporter!  Craziness.  So many memories and ups and downs through that time, most of which are very well documented right here on this blog!

Anyway, I mentioned earlier that this would be my last month, and #1850 seems like a good place to stop... Lord willing, I plan to start another blog down the road, and when I write 150 posts there, I can celebrate hitting 2,000!! :)

I so enjoy writing and being able to look back over the fun memories and quotes, and even the painful seasons, noting God's faithfulness along the way.  I'm sure I'll continue to document things via pictures and journaling... including our long-awaited trip to Niagara Falls and NYC next month!!  But for now, I'm going to take a year or so "off" from public blogging so that I can work through a few things in my own life in a more private setting, allowing myself to fully let go of pressure and past failures, to seek God and press forward toward something new and better.  So even if it doesn't make sense to everyone, I'm going to give myself a clean slate and start fresh a bit later. And who knows, I'll probably get a lot more done at work in the meantime. ;-)

Anyway, if you want to look back over any fun memories, quotes, tributes, etc., now would be the time, as I'm officially taking this thing down on May 1st. 

THANK YOU so much for caring enough to read my random thoughts on all of life over the past nine years!!  I know it's a fairly small audience, but I appreciate every kind comment, text, email, message, and prayer!  I was far from perfect many times, but I hope that overall, my heart for God came through here and that my words brought some joy and encouragement!

One final verse: "[Jesus] restores my soul (renews my strength; revives my life). He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to His name. Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for You are close beside me!" ~Psalm 23:3-4 

And one final Flipagram, just for fun!  It moves pretty quickly, but so does life, so that seems appropriate. =)
(DELETED WITHOUT NOTICE BY VIGO VIDEO APP!) =(

Until we meet again... ;-)

Much Love,

Photo Friday!

Well, it's super rainy and dreary today. My lunch plans got cancelled, and I'm sad for poor Bellsy that it keeps raining so much!  Her "thunderstorm anxiety" is not getting much rest. :(  But today is still a good day because our trial in Muskogee got cut short (an attorney came down with scarlet fever - for real - so strange and random), so Judge and I didn't have to make that long drive three days in a row!!  Plus I have a massage scheduled this afternoon, then going to see Joyce with Tiffany tonight! :)

Now for some happy "Photo Friday" fun!  Here's Dad and Jaceman on Easter Sunday. =)

Highly recommend these. Super easy and quick to make, and taste just like the ones at the restaurant (which me and Rach love)!!

Old school pic of the Miss K admiring her big brother. I don't think they could be any cuter!

Carter and Jace swimming at JoBug's last summer... I'm so ready for summer and swimming right now!!  And I love pics where they have goggles on. lol

Parting is such sweet sorrow... one last pic of Jace's first girlfriend, Claire, before her family moved to Italy!

Playing Heads Up with the Miss K is always a treat! We ignore the screen completely and give her the easiest clues possible, but she gets so excited and flustered and can't think of the answers. lol So much cuteness!

The Jaceman having deep thoughts on life in his new favorite hat. lol

Kyndal and Reagan having a stare-down! :)

Jaceman in his tent in Bampa and Mamaw's living room (before the tent got broken).

Kyndal Faith playing in her can-can/petticoat/fun twirly skirt and pink high heels! :)

And now, a mini-tribute to baby Kyndal... this = one of my favorite pics! She was so excited for her brothers, and so precious pushing her way into the picture!

Presh. Face.

So much baby cuteness!! I miss those soft, cuddly days!

This is what she'd do when we said, "Hey, where's your mouth!?" Cuteness overload!!

Anyway, happy rainy Friday!  And hope you have a great weekend!! =)

Should I Stay or Should I Go!?

...That's been the question in my head for the past few months. As per usual, my thoughts go back and forth.  Lots of prayer and lots of Google searching and talking about what is next. More on that in a minute...

Here are a couple picture collages from Sunday. Cutest niece and nephews EVER!! =)

(This one makes me laugh because we were all trying hard to get Kyndal Faith to give us a real smile, so Jace reached over and hugged her. It worked well, but somehow, he forgot to smile himself! Or maybe he was just over taking pics already. LOL)

We had our Easter Sunday lunch at Mama Roja's by Lake Hefner - good food and fun atmosphere!

 In other random news, I made an oreo cheesecake last week, and it was awesomesauce! Yay, me!! ;-)

This Easter was also the weekend of 6 career options in 4 days for me. lol  Thursday night, I went to the OU Masters of Human Relations free info session. My SNU friend, Annora, is in that program and invited me to check it out. I was surprised to see Emily Dukes on their alumni panel! It's a Master's program with nights, weekends, and online class options that will prepare you for an HR career or to become an LPC. I've strongly considered both of those options through the week (and the five years prior), but after a lot of thought, for a lot of reasons I won't get into here, I really don't see myself going this route (toward counseling or HR).

On Friday, I went to tour the Juvenile Justice Center in OKC with Marilyn, Mom's (and my) court reporter friend that I interned with who used to work with Mom. There is a possible CR position there in July... it would be with a great judge and coworkers, closer to family and in a nice part of town, but the schedule would be significantly less flexible and awesome, and the job security less complete than what I have right now. Not to mention it's literally on the Chesapeake campus, which has some bad vibes for me.)  After going back and forth all weekend, I turned that opportunity down, as well. Here's a pic of my what could've been my office... across from the flags, just like my current setup. :)

Saturday night, I had a long talk with Mom and Dad, and again considered the possibility of teaching at CHA. Crazy-strict dresscode aside, there are a number of good things about it, and if I were married, it would be a far more serious consideration.  Clearly, I'm not, and the teacher pay there is very poor, so it's barely worth considering. (If that were my dream or life's calling, I would find a way to make it work, but it's really not.)

Saturday night, I was exhausted with all of the above and texted Rachael that we needed to take a year to really prep and take photography classes, then start a photography business together. She could design the sets and do some of the marketing and make fun chalkboards for our photo shoots, and I could take and edit all the pictures and offer my calligraphy services if we got into weddings. There are a number of things about running a business where we would be totally clueless, so it's unlikely to ever happen full-time, but having something creative that is completely ours sounds kinda nice, in theory.

So that brings us to Sunday, where I came back around to Sonography, becoming an ultrasound technician. It's been mentioned to me twice in the past few months, by a nurse friend who said they make more money than her, and by a dental hygienist who said that's a great choice if you want a career that offers good benefits, etc. The idea of transitioning from Stenography to Sonography is kinda funny to me, but it's the most likely path of all the things I've considered. (Apparently, trades are the way to go for me... a very specific career path in a high demand field with good pay still seems far preferable to a generic degree without a clear end game or that ends with me taking a drastic pay cut right after spending crazy time, energy, and money getting through school!!)

My job right now has so many great things going for it -- and I'm glad I finally recognize and fully appreciate that!!  Not on that list is the fact that electronic recorders are likely to replace us sometime in the next few years, and I'd like to have a new plan in place and have a chance to sell my CR equipment before that.  Since the single men of my generation seem to be in agreement with my two ex-besties about my relational value thus far, I know I'm going to need to choose something where I can make decent money and have good benefits and retirement and such, particularly if adoption is my eventual goal. (And it is.)  I also would enjoy a work life with more of a human element to it, and perhaps less hearing about horrific crimes. lol  And I have always liked the idea of getting to wear scrubs to work. ;-) So if things remain as they are and if my current career begins to feel threatened, Sonography is an appealing option, particularly the OB/GYN fetal sonography! =D

So there's a mini-update on what's happening (or still very much on hold) in my life.  I've had several conversations with other female friends lately, both single and married, who are in a similarly confusing life stage -- just trying to discern what they should be doing and what is the next right step for them. It's a common problem, and I'm thankful to know that and not feel any shame about it.  I want to feel settled and confident about my choice, but it's okay that the process takes time.  I'm no longer trying to factor in the possibility of marriage.  If it happens, fantastic... and if not, I'm smart and capable, and I will be okay!

On that note, I really hate how much women tie their worth to their relationship status. Hate it. I've been very guilty of that in the past, but it's sad and demeaning and ignorant. Even when we feel lonely, we cannot give in to the lie that our single lives are not valuable to God. Or that we don't have purpose apart from being a wife or mom... Let's be stronger than this, ladies!  Desiring marriage is good, but let's rise above the temptation to think we can do nothing apart from a husband; that verse just applies to Jesus! =)  For anyone who is struggling with this stuff, I get it and I'm sorry. But please know that you matter to God even when it seems that no one else really sees your heart.  Your quiet life has purpose even when you feel confused about what you're supposed to do with it. God is there and He is listening, and He will reveal Himself and His plan for you little by little as you keep walking with Him.  So calm down and stay the course!  You've got this!

In lighter news, this is my screensaver at work right now, and it makes me happy. =)

And here are two random cute pics of the Jaceman to finish things off.  Trying on Grandad's cowboy hat (I also love Grandad and Babah's picture wall and Rach's poster in this picture).

He's sing-yelling the "God makes me BRAVE!!" song here, but it looks like he's pulling a Home Alone impression. =)

And that's officially all for today! Congrats to anyone who actually read this entire post... you deserve a medal. lol

The Light of All Mankind

"When we have found what life's really worth, 

There'll be peace on earth!"

"In Him was life, 

And that life was the light of all mankind.

The light shines in the darkness,

And the darkness can never extinguish it!"

~John 1:4-5

Last week, I watched part of a show on Netflix called 13 Reasons Why.  (Spoiler alert...)

It's about a teenage girl who commits suicide, leaving behind a series of tapes where she tells her side of the story about 13 people who hurt her, people she believes to be responsible for her death by suicide. I watched the first two episodes and knew I couldn't watch the entire thing, so I skipped around through some of the middle, then watched the last episode in full. The suicide scene in the final episode is graphic and disturbing, as is the fact that this show is marketed to middle school and high school kids. The intended message was for kids to be kinder to each other and be aware that their words and actions often affect others more than they realize. But it glorifies the suicide-as-revenge idea, which is just so dangerous, and it places the blame for her death on everyone but the one person who chose and physically caused it (including blaming the school counselor - who dedicated his life to helping students - because he was unable to guess and fully resolve the problem she was only willing to hint about).

Obviously, I have a lot of problems with the overall content and marketing and message of the show. It struck a chord with me on a personal level for reasons I may struggle to put into words. Life can be hard and messy and confusing, and it's incredibly painful when people you love walk away or betray you. The idea of blaming them and making them regret that choice can be appealing - and I most definitely understand that. People who have not been there do not understand or sympathize, but when you're under deep depression or demonic attack (or both), it's a real struggle to see past yourself and your immediate, excruciating pain. You feel disconnected, and what once was meaningful feels hollow... and you can quickly become deceived about what your life is really worth to God, to other people, and in your own eyes. You feel like you're alone in the darkness, and it's scary, and you can't see anything clearly. Deception colors your reality, and nothing really matters to you.

....I think that love is "greater than" faith and hope because love is the only one you can still feel when you're truly at rock bottom. The love of Christ becomes the light at the end of the dark tunnel, so to speak. And you can choose to walk toward love and leave the darkness behind, or you can turn away from it and let the pain and bitterness consume you. It's literally your choice between abundant life or allowing the enemy to steal, kill, and destroy you. Life begets life and death begets death... and your choices in those moments will affect everyone around you!

God knows exactly how to pull us back toward love and light, all the way back to full faith and hope, and I'm so thankful He does not ever give up on us!!

My thoughts on all this go deeper than what I can write today, but that's okay. It all comes back to Jesus loving us enough to forgive our betrayal and die in our place. Which brings us to the resurrection triumph of Easter Sunday, and my favorite two verses in the entire Bible:

"In Him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it."

Family Fun!

A few pictures from today. I always LOVE these naturally sunlit outdoor pictures! Now I just need to learn to make my indoor pictures look that good and bright. =)  First off is this happy sister pic of me and Rach!  She got her hair done by Chalyn (my cousin's girlfriend) and got some purple put in... I love it! :)

Here's Jaceman and his friend, Van. Kids are fantastic for candid shots, smiling and laughing at the silliest things, and rarely very aware of the camera around them. :)

This one kinda cracks me up... Jace was about to grab some of Van's candy, so his face looks mischievous, while Van looks irritated. (I grabbed some of Jace's candy and put it in Van's basket, to which Van said, "Thank you... whoever you are!" lolol I laughed at that for a while. Kids are awesome!

Mom icing the chocolate cake... yummers! (I'm a fan of this pic, but she was annoyed that she had no lipstick on. lol)

We did sandwiches for lunch!  Deli tray arrangement by me. :)

The gold Christmas ornament bucket becomes the chip bucket for spring holidays. lol

Easter cookiecake from Rach! :)

So many fun pics on the fort... I was taking this as Kayton was climbing the slide, but I noticed later that Carter is fully upside down on the swing! lol 

Dad was pushing Kyndal Faith, then T-man requested that he push him, too! lol

Fun with sidewalk chalk. These three made random scribbles while the older boys wrote their names in cursive for us. :)

Miss K and her Momma!!

Cute gifts from JoBug. =)

Girlfriends. :)

The moms emptied the candy and such from their eggs into their baskets, then they hid them again just for fun... Kyndal Faith was confused and miffed when she opened all her eggs and they were empty that time. lol So cute!

Smiley Sam-puff wishing she could join all the fun! =)

Showing their dad their Easter candy and toys!

The Parrish fam plus JoBug (Grandad and Babah were on the sides, but they weren't smiling at all, so I cropped them out of this one). lol

JB brought Eileen's sugar cookies and Babah brought cherry cobbler! Clearly, we were all set on desserts! lol (Also note the Miss K's pretty red fingernails. Presh.)

Me and my most favorite precious niece (who always asks to use lipstick but struggles a bit to keep it in the lines). lol

Mom and Grandad watching the kids playing. Love!

Rach and all her kids!

Me and my niece and nephews! :)

That's all for now. It's been a fun Easter Eve Saturday with the fam. 

Have a very Happy Easter tomorrow!!

WWW ~ Dumbledore

Today's 'Words of Wisdom Wednesday" features Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, a fellow INFJ and one of my very favorite fictional characters. =)

"You do care. You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it."

"Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it."

"This pain is part of being human. There is no shame in what you are feeling, Harry. On the contrary, the fact that you can feel pain like this is your greatest strength."

"Age is foolish and forgetful when it underestimates youth."

"We must try not to sink beneath our anguish... but battle on."

"It is important to fight and fight again, and keep fighting, for only then can evil be kept at bay, though never quite eradicated."

"You fail to recognize that it matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be."

"It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities."

"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live."

"Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike."

"When you have seen as much of life as I have, you will not underestimate the power of obsessive love."

"Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury and remedying it."

"Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living, and above all, all those who live without love."

"Indeed, your failure to understand that there are things much worse than death has always been your greatest weakness." 

"It is a curious thing, but perhaps those who are best suited to power are those who have never sought it. Those who have leadership thrust upon them, and take up the mantle because they must, and find to their own surprise that they wear it well."

"Dark times lie ahead of us, and there will be a time when we must choose between what is easy and what is right."

"The consequences of our actions are so complicated, so diverse, that predicting the future is a very difficult business indeed."

"Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light."

"We are only as strong as we are united, as weak as we are divided."

"Of course it's happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?"

Randomness. =)

Here's Miss Ella Bellsy in her happy new bed! :) She's become an anxious puff lately, but this is her safe zone where I can always find her. It's cute and sad and mildly annoying all at the same time. lol (She's a tiny presh, and I empathize with her anxiety or depression or whatever this is, which she has medicine for now... but I have to pick her up and carry her outside 75% of the time lately, then I have her hair all over whatever I'm wearing that day). But hopefully she'll improve and get back to the normal routine!

Jenna moved to her new apartment this Friday and Saturday so that she could settle in before starting her new job this week!  I helped a bit with the move and painting and cleaning on Friday, then spent the weekend re-stocking and cooking and watching New Girl (121 episodes in the past month). This = a before and after pic of my fridge the day she moved. Made me laugh! It's somewhere in the middle of those two now, and I've made chicken enchiladas and beef taco salad and baked a chocolate sheet cake in the last couple days. It was fun to be in the kitchen again and just have a relaxing weekend at home!

Happy National Sibling Day to Rach!  I made this collage in 2013, hence the lack of Kyndal Faith pictures. Still a good sister collage, though!

Song of the Week... as heard in New Girl, Chuck, and How I Met Your Mother... Rivers and Roads by The Head and The Heart

Aaaaand that's all I'm gonna say here for today. Hope your week is off to a good start!