Photo Friday!

Happy Friday, friends!

A big congratulations to Chet Lee and Karli Marie on closing on their new home today!! =)

Debbie (the lending officer) and her presh Pom puppy were celebrating reaching over a million dollars in closing sales with Chet (including his own home) this week!  Hooray!!

I'm thankful it's Friday, and I'm happy the work day is nearly over so I can go home and take a nap! lol  I got up at 3:15 am to take Tiffany to the airport (then her flight was delayed until 9:30, so that was doubly sad, but oh well).  I went back to bed when I got home, but still, I'm running on fairly low energy today.

Anyway, hope you have a lovely weekend!

In case I don't see you, good afternoon, good evening, and good night! ;-)  #trumanshow

Thankful Thursday (96)

"These things I have spoken to you so that in Me, you may have peace.  In the world, you will have trouble.  But take heart!  I have overcome the world." ~John 16:33

Today, I am thankful for:

1.  Having a creative side that randomly perks up here and there. lol  These tiny pellets were spilled on my desk, and I made a happy flower with them.  (Clearly, I'm done with the super-busy part of June.) lol

2.  Getting to spend some quality time with Mom and enjoy tasty Italian food last weekend! =)

3.  Memes that make me laugh... it's funny bc it's true!  #theyarelistening #somanyads

4. That there is downtime and joy and rest in God even in the middle of a tough season and whirlwind of emotions!

5.  That we have the ability to identify and overcome the lies we start to believe!

6. For getting to have dinner with Jon and Kristin tonight as she's recovering ...and for this awesome Disney World picture that's making me laugh!

7.  That God is faithful in rewarding those who diligently seek Him, and faithful in punishing those who stubbornly ignore Him. ❤

Flying with Both Wings

Nope, not a post about eagles, but the picture fits. lol  

As usual, I get super excited when I hear something that really resonates with me about personality types.  This happened today while listening to Annie Downs' That Sounds Fun Podcast - she is focusing on the Enneagram this summer.

I've finally figured out that I am a Type 9 on the Enneagram, a 9 with a 1-wing.  (We all have a type and a dominant "wing," which means the numbers to the right and left of our type.)

In this podcast, they said that we grow and become healthier as we learn to develop the strengths of the wing that is weakest for us.  As Annie put it, "Birds fly better with both wings."  I'm sure that sounds obvious, but I had only thought about how the 9 and the 1 applied to me.

My weaker "wing" is a Type 8, the most assertive and powerful and willing to fight for their beliefs.  The type I've often been drawn to and hurt by, the type that exhibits protective strength.

And it's going off like fireworks in my brain that I am at my healthiest when I press into that.  When I force myself to get things done rather than allowing myself to be overrun by the inner perfectionist, when I stop internalizing and bottling up all the anger, when I speak up on behalf of others and myself, when I show protective strength and resilience!

Nines are good at seeing and understanding the other types, and maybe that's part of why this stuff always fascinates me.  I've talked to some friends about their types, and with others, I'm making an educated guess.  But in every case, I can clearly see how leaning into and developing the strengths of the non-dominant wing makes you a healthier and more balanced person...

The 7 with a dominant 8-wing learning to be more cautious before jumping into new things!
The 4 with a 5-wing pushing forward to achieve new goals!
The 2 with a 3-wing speaking up for their own beliefs and needs!
The 7 with a 6-wing learning to be more driven and stick with things that matter!
Etc.

So here's to healing our weak/broken wings and becoming our best selves! ❤

MM ~ On This Day

Every once in a while, I like to see what I did on this day in past years. Between this blog, Google Photos, and Facebook, most of it is well documented. lol

6-24-2018

A fun dinner + cookies, movie, & game night at Sarah's! =)

 Lunch at Schlotskyz after church with the Woodlake group!

And reading Little Women. lol  I LOVE their entire conversation on this page - Marmee for the win! lol

6-24-2017

Finishing up the drizzled paint for my bedroom mirror! =)

Fun times with Dad and the kids!

And a lovely summer swim at JoBug's pool!

6-24-2016

J&K cheering Mom up as she recovered from her back surgery!

Joining Rach and Co. on a Target trip!

6-24-2015

Smiley Bells. lol  Not sure what else happened that day, but this pic made me happy. =)

6-24-2014

Swim day at JoBug's... the baby Miss K was already happy to smile when she saw a camera! lol

Jaceman happily swimming vs. Jaceman when he was told it's time to go... his facial expressions are not subtle. lolol

Seeking a Shortcut

This post dives a little deeper... I'm wrestling a bit lately with the "choose life" mentality.

I'll state the obvious that it is not an easy thing to watch someone you love slowly deteriorate toward a miserable death.  It is hard to understand the point, particularly when they have no further desire to be here.  It's difficult to fathom how it glorifies God to prolong the suffering of someone who has enjoyed a long and full life, but is now helplessly trapped in an atmosphere of death and decay and longing for death to come as soon as possible.

I've been thinking and praying about this the past few weeks.  I have read articles on both sides of the assisted death argument (a moot point here since it is illegal in Oklahoma and you must be a resident of other states for it to be legal there, but I'm just wrestling with how I feel about it all).

One article said the following:

"God brings about good even from the suffering that believers experience. He allows it and uses it to build their faith. Our trials may be physical affliction, emotional pain, intellectual doubt or daily temptation. His desire is that we persevere and endure to the very end. In all this God shapes us in ways that may be painful at the time but develop His holiness in us. His goal is to bring us to completeness so we might be declared to be His children and have a place in His eternal family...  If we can find some means to escape a painful, dangerous or abusive situation we should take it. But does this logic apply to taking one’s own life? Your life is not your own. Everything you have and are belongs to God. To take your own life, or have someone assist you take your life violates the Sixth Commandment of “do not murder.” Anyone who takes a human life, even their “own,” without His authority, will be held responsible by God. God can forgive. But to deliberately violate His command expecting or assuming He will forgive is very risky business. Jesus told us we are not to tempt or test God."

Another article said:

"If we truly believed that only God should determine the hour of our death, then we should think it as wrong to use medical means to extend life as to shorten it... The reason murder is condemned is that it is an act that deprives another person of all that life offers. But when a dying person is already being deprived of life by a terminal illness and wants help to hasten that process, the situation is rather different... A Christian case for supporting assisted dying is based on Jesus’ teaching that the whole of religious law and prophetic teaching can be summarized as requiring us to love God and to love our neighbor as ourselves. Jesus’ golden rule was that we should always treat others as we wish to be treated ourselves. Applying this to assisted dying the argument is: When people’s sufferings are so great that they make repeated requests to die, it seems a denial of that loving compassion which is supposed to be the hallmark of Christianity to refuse their requests. If we truly love our neighbors as ourselves how can we deny them the death we would wish for ourselves in such a condition?"

(My mind and spirit are much more inclined to go with the first stance on this issue, while my heart and emotions are more sympathetic to the second.  Especially as someone who has struggled with suicidal thoughts in my own past, I see both sides, but I know we cannot take God's sovereignty lightly.)

I also read a friend's blog today which said:  

"Our culture has decided that suffering is to be avoided at all costs - we advocate abortion, assisted suicide, and drugs to prevent suffering.  We don't want anyone to experience pain or hardship.  But suffering is a part of LIVING... When we know Christ, we understand that suffering isn't worthless.  Our kids need to know that there is purpose in their lives - even if life holds hardship and suffering."

I'm guessing that is true for most people (I know it's true for me) that we look desperately for a shortcut to avoid suffering... whether it's minor or major suffering, we would prefer to take the easy way out.  But that usually is not God's best plan for us.  When young people receive a terrible medical diagnosis, most Christians make the above argument that there is value and purpose in their pain, and there is beautiful truth in that.  It feels different when someone is frail and nearing the end of their life, but that line of thought is a slippery slope.  And in the end, I can see that we don't get the deciding vote about whether a life has purpose.  Our true value is not based on age, physical ability, or mental capacity, but based on God's love for us... so it does not change over time, even when our sense of purpose and joy does drastically shift.

I needed to write to process some of this, and it was helpful.  It's still a complex issue, but I believe that choosing to love God with all my heart means choosing life (choosing surrender to God's control) even when it hurts. ❤

Quotes & More

Hey, friends!

I am quite thrilled to report that I am DONE with transcripts (for now)!  =)

My goal was 48, and I ended up doing 77 in just under one month!  #perfectnumber #funcoincidence  (We needed to get them turned in this week for it to count toward this fiscal year, so mission accomplished - huzzah!)

Here are a few recent pictures and quotes:

Triston got these underwater shots with his GoPro, and I couldn't love them more! lol  The kids trying to smile underwater with the goggles pulling their eyes back (and Kyndal's filling up with water) is cracking me up!

Not the best sensation to open your eyes underwater, but I used to do it all the time, too! ❤

World's slowest gif. lol  I can't make it speed up!

My random shot of my happy honey-seared chicken with fried rice lunch with Kristin Foster at Pei Wei last week! =)

The Mini Miss working on cracking an egg. =)

The Mini Miss watching the brownies baking and reporting back to us on how they look! lol

T-man showing me his game -- an entire virtual world where they can go to work, get a paycheck, drive a car, and use their $ to build a house where they select every detail and color.  Craziness!

JEM-filled Quotables:

Reading to baby Ellie ❤

Chet:  "Yeah, Cody is 7 years younger than me - that's actually the same number of years between me and Jeff."
JEM:  "Does it make you appreciate me more!?  (...turns to me and sings:) "Quoootable!!"

Jeffrey to Sarah:  "Are you excited to be an American now!? ...MAGA!!"

Laura:  "Yeah, we don't really talk about those kind of things."  
JEM:  ""Well, if you bury the emotions and just never talk about them... it’s really healthy!" lol

(Me holding Tate and trying to keep him from grabbing my drink as Jeff watches and contemplates my past blog musings...)
JEM:  "Mockey, don’t get twins!  It’s very hard with a newborn."

JEM:  "Hey, I’m watching this new show on Netflix -- you guys should check it out.  It’s called New Girl!!"
Me:  "Uhhhh, you're joking, right?  That's been one of my favorite shows for years now!" lol

Discussing the Wilsons' upcoming move at the event titled "Last Farmhouse Shenanigans:"
JEM:  "So when can we come over and really say goodbye?"
Chet:  "Yeaaaah, we’re not doing that.  This is IT!!" lol

JEM looking out at their backyard and reminiscing... taps me on the shoulder:  "It just feels like yesterday when the fireworks were going off all over the yard attacking us!"
Me:  "Aww, memories!" lol

No idea what these costumes were for, but I love it! lol

Blake (when JB took a different route to avoid a stopped train on the way to his medical school graduation):  "Not todaaaay, Satan!!" lol

Finally, a truth-bomb quote...
C. S. Lewis: "You will never make a good impression on other people until you stop thinking about what sort of impression you are making.  Even in literature and art, no man who bothers about originality will ever be original, whereas if you simply try to tell the truth without caring two-pence how often it has been told before, you will, nine times out of ten, become original without ever having noticed it."  ❤❤❤

Father's Day

Happy Father's Day, friends and fam!

Over time, I have come to see more clearly the significant impact fathers have on their children's lives and hearts...  on the way they view and trust God... and on their relationships with other people!

I am thankful for my Dad's good and Godly influence...

• He lives with steadfast joy and hope.
• He trusts God to bring something good out of every difficult situation.
• He loves the Lord, spends regular time in God's Word, and prays individually for each of us.
• He serves faithfully in church and is a spiritual leader for our family and many others.
• He lives with an attitude of gratitude and chooses not to complain.
• He is known for Godly wisdom and fierce loyalty.
• He works with integrity and he gives generously of his time and money.
• He has several solid friendships that have stood the test of time.
• He is stable and consistent, present and involved in the lives of his kids and grandkids.
• He is dependably good-tempered, patient, and kind.
• He is quick to listen and forgive, genuinely peaceful and slow to anger.
• He is playful, fun, and adventurous!

Here's a quick slideshow celebrating my wonderful Dad! ❤

(I chose this song because Dad is good at pointing us to God's plan and reminding us to look up and be grateful.)

* * * * * * *

Shifting gears a bit, I'm also thinking of and praying for those who are hurting on Father's Day...

Whether your earthly dad is awesome, absent, aggressive, or abusive... whether he is alive or dead... there is a God who knows and loves you deeply.  A friend of mine whose father died several years back posted this verse along with some encouraging words about how we are never fatherless.  For those who have received Christ as Savior, God is your protector and your heavenly Father.  "Look up, child."  He sees you and He loves you and He cares for you.  He is with you today and will never leave or forsake you.  He is merciful and gentle and kind.  Draw near to Him, and He will draw near to you! (James 4:8)

Wait For It

Hey, gang!  It's been longer than usual for me, and I've missed writing.  I've been unusually busy with work lately... I also published and then deleted a ranting post a couple days ago, but I'm in a better frame of mind now.  

I find myself disappointed again by a church leader that I have admired for several years.  I tend to put certain people on a pedestal in my mind, and it is always hard on me when they fall... which they usually do because we're all human and flawed and sinful.  I feel upset and disheartened not simply by this situation but by how common it has become to see church leaders making cowardly, self-serving decisions to overlook hurting people and distance themselves from controversy.  It really is not okay.  But the right response (particularly when it is not a church I attend or have any direct involvement with) is to pray for God to strengthen and refine both the victims AND the church leadership team.  And to focus on my own walk and do my best to make bold, self-sacrificial decisions to help hurting people and not to run away when things get difficult and messy.  

To follow the ways of Jesus rather than the ways of men.

Situations like this make me very aware of the fact that I cannot control or change anyone else.  But I am not powerless either.  I CAN control the amount of effort I put forth... the time I spend seeking God... my heart attitude and my words... how I interact with others.  I want a relationship with God that is unique, distinctive, and authentic.  I don't want it to be a copy or an imitation of what I see in others, and I don't want it to be a duty or a heavy obligation.  I am deeply craving what is REAL and TRUE and LIFE-GIVING and TRUSTWORTHY.  And I can choose Him on a daily basis in so many different ways -- I can take the cynical thoughts captive and press forward in hope.  I am not stuck in a futile holding pattern, and my small daily choices are impacting and shaping my future.  My personality and my past do not get to dictate who I will become... I am determined to believe that more deeply and to "come alive" in a new way!

Of all the songs and lyrics I love in the Hamilton soundtrack, this may be my favorite:
(And now I'll have this song in my head all night.)

I feel that way about many things - that I'm "lying in wait" for the right opportunity or the right idea or the right timing or the right relationships to help propel me forward.  I sincerely believe the best is yet to come, but waiting can be hard and confusing.  Sometimes I need to step out of the boat with faith and courage, trusting God to realign me if needed.  I cannot allow myself to get too complacent or to give up or to decide my role is insignificant.  We all have our own pace and a different path to walk, and each one is original and unique and designed by God.  But we have to let Him lead us.  Whether or not the collective church ever learns to correctly value women, singles, or single women, Jesus has got that down.  And it is His approval, love, grace, power, and authority I am walking in!! #inChristalone

Anyway, there's a thimble-sized sample of my swirling deep thoughts this Friday evening. =)

In other news, yesterday was Mom and Dad's 38th Anniversary!!  ❤

...And here are some happy summer snapshots of my niece and nephews, my four favorite kids in all the world!  ❤

Jace missed the arm memo. lol

Are they not the very cutest!?

And an underwater shot from T-man's GoPro! =)

They make me happy, and I'm looking forward to seeing them and Dad's side of the fam tomorrow. =)

For now, I'm off to Planet Fitness for a bit, then going to finish up some proofreading whilst watching Downton Abbey.  Hope your Friday night is a little more fun-filled!  ;-)

Faith in Crisis

Spoiler-filled backstory:  April Kepner is one of few Christian characters on Grey's.  Her firstborn child dies at birth, then she suffers other deep losses that harden her and cause her to seriously wrestle with her faith.  She questions God’s heart and talks openly about being angry with Him.  

Just hearing the following little segment was jarring...

APRIL: "Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?" That's what Jesus said on the cross before He died. "My God, My God, WHY have you forsaken Me?" Job asked the question, too.  But he kept the faith... and what did he get for it? Replacement children? PTSD? Was it worth it to have been a faithful servant, or would it have been better to just curse God's name from the beginning? Where was God throughout all of Job's suffering and pain? He was winning a bet with Satan. Makes you wonder where He is through all of the unfairness and inequity and cruelty in the world.  Where is He now?" 

She has a crisis of faith and throws her Christian values out the window for a bit.  Seven episodes after the above monologue about Job, she takes care of a dying Rabbi who sees that she is hurting and asks her to talk to him, and they have the following conversation:

APRIL:  What's that saying? If I'm not for myself, who will be for me? Uh-huh, well, I am taking care of myself for once!  That's all.

RABBI ELI:  You realize that that phrase is not an invitation for narcissism, right?  ...I don't blame you.  You know, it's human nature. You face enough hardship, then you can't help but think that you're being punished.  That you did something to deserve it.

APRIL:  I did nothing to deserve --- Okay.  My whole life, I followed His rules. I studied, I believed, I practiced what I preached.  I did every single thing He asked of me!

RABBI ELI:  And that guarantees you what??  Where - where is the guarantee? ...Where is it written exactly that if you do this or that, everything in your life's gonna be good? Nowhere, in any faith is there a guarantee. 

APRIL:  I'm not asking for everything to be good all the time.  But fair.  I think that I –

RABBI ELI:  Fair? Was it fair when Isaac went blind and then his child betrayed him? And where was the fairness when Sarah had to wait 99 years before she had a child, then God said, "Sacrifice him?” And Moses couldn't even get past the bouncer to the Promised Land.  Like I said, I'm not up on the sequel, but from what I hear, Jesus got a raw deal.  Nobody in the Bible lived a life free of suffering or injustice... and if they lived lives like that, why should ours be different?  If people only believed in God when things were good, I guarantee you, after the Holocaust, not a single Jew would be a believer... Faith wouldn't be real faith if you only believe when things are good.

APRIL:  Well, so… what? The world is just cruel and random, and there's nothing anyone can do about it!?

RABBI ELI: Terrible things happen.  Terrible, wonderful, devastating things happen.  Who the hell are you to know why? Who are you to know why some people live and some people die?

APRIL:  Children die!  Children who didn't do anything wrong, children who were broken before they had a chance to be whole, who were climbing in their own front windows…

RABBI ELI:  Right.  And you don't get to know why any more than than I get to know why I'm dying... So you can either believe in God and goodness, or you can believe it's pointless, it's cruel, and it's random - whatever makes you happier.  Are you -- happy?

APRIL:  It's not narcissism.

RABBI ELI:  Then what is it?  Pain?  Unimaginable pain.  Yeah, I know the feeling.

(long pause) ...God is not indifferent to our pain.

I was caught off guard by this episode in a good way.  I wanted to have that documented somewhere, so here I am posting it.  It speaks to me because I have been there (2007/2008), and it speaks to me because I want so much to listen and be present and help gently restore other Christians who find themselves in that place.  I really liked that she got to wrestle with all her questions and anger and pain and that they didn't tie everything up in a neat little bow of cliche answers, but also didn't end it on a "God isn't real" or "He could care less" note.  (You never know how it will go with Shonda, and I'm certainly not saying Grey's always gets it right, but this storyline rings true.)

That God is not indifferent to our pain is sometimes the most helpful belief we can cling to.  To believe that at the heart of it all, He is good and He loves us.  Our understanding of why everything happens the way it does is incredibly limited, and we want so badly to understand why it's happening when we our lives are in chaos and we feel soul-crushing deep pain.  It's why God tells us to trust Him and acknowledge Him and "lean not on our own understanding."  It's why we are told over and over that He is ever-present and His love is unfailing and He will never forsake us.

"When my heart is overwhelmed and fainting, lead me to the Rock that is higher than I... For God alone my soul waits in silence; from Him comes my salvation." ~Psalm 61:2, 62:1

Photo Friday!

Happy Friday, friends, and Happy National Donut Day!! =)

I don't have much time for blogging, but here's a couple more pics from the past month that didn't make the blog yet:

Chettles on Michael's birthday! =)

The Miss K sporting her colorful "JoJo Siwa" hair braid (someone from a show she watches). lol

Some happy strawberry shortcake dessert - I'm into strawberries lately!

 Reagan letting us know she wanted to join us outside! lolol

JEM took a last walk around the Farmhouse pond while holding Tate, then text me this pic and said, "the last sunset!" lol

Anyway, hope you have a lovely weekend, and hope you get a donut to celebrate today! ;-)