Gentleness

This little verse is sandwiched between "Rejoice in the Lord always..." and "Do not be anxious about anything."  In all the richness of Philippians 4, this one probably gets overlooked sometimes.  But it's been on my heart lately as something I want to work on.  With good reason, I have become more suspicious and guarded over time, especially around church people.  There are a lot of crazies out there doing A LOT of damage within the church, and I seem to be a magnet for them. #backupoffme  There are also a lot of church leaders who are morally corrupt and/or proudly supporting the morally corrupt, and I have a pretty big problem with that, as well.  So part of my guardedness is wisdom, but it's also partly pride and the desire never to be seen as weak or gullible again.  And I don't want to become too sharp or too cynical or too quick to judge.  I want to keep a soft heart and a GENTLE and quiet spirit that walks in step with the Holy Spirit, which is easier said than done in this easily offended time and culture!

I remind myself often that there is more to the story than I know.  And while it is never an excuse for abusive or criminal behavior, it is good to remember that hurting people hurt people.  That our enemy is behind it all, and he is good at what he does.  It helps to keep your heart free of bitterness and hatred toward people God created and loves!

Another Lysa TerKeurst Therapy & Theology podcast talked about forgiveness.  They said people think you can simply forgive the offense and move forward, but those who have walked through a massive betrayal understand it very differently. #truth  You have to forgive the offense first, yes, but then you have to forgive the impact -- repeatedly forgiving them for the myriad of ways that their sinful decisions and actions hurt you and other people you love, the way those things continue to affect and shape the hearts and futures of innocent and undeserving people, and the way it affects your own heart and the course of your own life.  And that is something you have to do over and over, time and time again, every time the emotional impact hits you like a ton of bricks or the negative reality consequences play out in front of you and make you wanna scream.  It is NOT easy, and it can feel exhausting.

...Hearing that was crazy helpful for me, because it's so simple to forgive the offense, but forgiving the impact literally takes years of small decisions to forgive again and keep your heart gentle toward others and free from bitterness, as well as the hard work of choosing wisdom and setting healthier boundaries and protecting yourself and others from further pain whenever it's in your power to do so.

Anyway, healthy boundaries plus a gentle and bitterness-free spirit... these go together and complement each other, but it's such a delicate balance, and it's something I am determined to work with God to improve on! ❤