Hey friends! For the precious few of you who check in regularly enough to notice the blog issues this week, allow me to explain. In the 13 years and thousands of posts I have authored on this blog, to the best of my memory, I have written five posts that focused on politics (three of them this year). It's certainly not my favorite subject due to its divisive nature, but sometimes, I feel passionate enough about something to merit writing and sharing my thoughts. I shared one of those five political posts last Wednesday, venting some long-held frustrations that mostly stem from years of feeling unseen/unheard and disrespected by some of the people I love when it comes to my political views. It has been tiring and hard, and it took gumption for me to speak up here. My friend, Jeff, called after reading it (I was on the phone with Mom). I assumed it was about that post, and I was internally braced for a difficult conversation when I returned his call that night. To his credit and true to his nature, he was very kind and gracious, acknowledging my frustrations with empathy, helping me to feel seen and validated in my views, and reminding me that I was valued as a friend... then offering wise advice that I was able to hear and receive without feeling so defensive because of how he'd started the conversation. That's so much more important than people often realize!
I told him I really appreciated that, then I temporarily removed the public post and took some time to think it over. I added some important edits and re-posted it on Friday morning. Friday around 5:00, I got an email from Blogger telling me my post had been reported to them (something you have to really go out of your way to do here) and that it had been deleted for "violating their Malware Policy" - ??? - then they encouraged me to "review the full content of my posts to make sure they're in line with their standards, as additional violations could result in the termination of my blog." Yikes. That was definitely a first, and I did not love it. I was also terribly confused about how it actually violated their standards, but I switched this entire blog back to private so that no further violations would be possible. I went to bed last night feeling pretty upset and confused about the whole ordeal. This morning, I received a second email from Blogger saying that upon further review, my post did *not* violate their standards, so they had reinstated it. All very strange. I talked to Chet about all of the above this morning -- and once again, I appreciated the level of respect and validation that was offered. So it's good that I wrote the post because it led to healthy real-life conversations, and I think I have needed to hear some of that for a while. I've mostly been quiet about it, but I've felt a lot of condescension over the past five years... so to feel confident and safe enough to speak up for my beliefs and to still be seen, supported, valued, and respected — specifically by people who don't fully agree with my views — that result was actually really important for me. My counselor and I have talked lately about the fact that I need and desire more emotional support, but that it doesn't always have to come from the people I imagine or hope it will come from - and this whole situation was a good reminder of that.
I am unsure about who chose to anonymously report that post - likely someone who doesn't know me in real life -but the idea that the harsh tone of my words hurt or bothered someone else enough to do that made me decide to remove it. Political writing is not my passion or strong suit, and I really want this blog to be a place of encouragement and hope and connection! Romans 12 is my self-appointed "life chapter," and verse 18 pictured above is one of my favorites: "If it is possible, as far is it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." That rolled through my mind this morning when I was debating whether to keep or remove that post, and then I knew. I don't always get it right on that, but I hope to be humble enough to course-correct when I've been wrong. While I'm not a fan of censorship and I'm very confident that my post did not actually violate any standards here, my motives were questionable and my tone was intense and less than kind. And I recognize that when I'm feeling hurt or belittled and wrestling with stuff that can be so divisive, it's probably best that I talk with trusted friends and family rather than vulnerably venting to the entire internet. Anyway, all that to say, you're not going crazy... there was once a political post, and then it was gone, and then it was back again with edits... and then the post was reported and deleted by Blogger, then this entire blog was gone (made private), then it was all back to public with that post fully restored, and finally, that post was gone once again. It's been a long four days. lol The end.
It was a beautiful shower and I had fun chatting with Chet and Teresa + helping take photos.
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