Today is my 38th Birthday! A friend posted recently saying birthdays mean you're leveling up, and I'm on board with that concept. =) It is 100% in God's hands to determine when I will graduate into heaven... but in this messy, imperfect, and beautiful game of life, I'm grateful to reach Level 38 today! And I hope to keep moving forward and building a meaningful life with whatever time God gives me here!! ❤
Every level has its own challenges, rewards, and lessons you hold onto as you keep moving forward. So in true "Thankful Thursday" style, today I'm stopping to celebrate and thank God for the life He has given me thus far...
1. Intro Level:
- (1984, The Birth Year.) I've always thought it was fun and special that God gave Babah and Grandad their first grandchild on their anniversary, February 17th!
- I'm thankful to be named "Lindsey Claire," which means "Peaceful Light" when you put them both together.... I love that and hope to live up to it! ❤
- I am deeply grateful for having parents who valued life and were excited to welcome me into their lives.
- I'm thankful that I was treasured and cared for from the beginning when so many sweet babies don't have that experience!
- (1985-1990, The Early Years.) From a baby to a toddler to Miss Anne's Pre-K to Kindergarten at Ridgecrest... my hair gradually got darker and darker, and I was rocking the bangs all the way through it!
- Between eating, crawling, walking, mastering the English language, learning some basic hygiene + writing + reading + songs, etc. I probably learned more in those first 6 years than any other time period listed here!
- Due to a kidney reflux that finally resolved itself in my teenage years, I was verrry sick for several months as a toddler where all my hair fell out and I struggled to keep food down... I'm grateful God guided my parents to find good doctors and medicine that helped get that under control.
- I'm grateful for Rachael joining our family, for Grandad babysitting, and for all the adults who loved me and filled my childhood with happy memories and made learning new things fun!
3. Levels 7-12:
- (1991-1996, The Grade School Years.) First through sixth grade, moving from the cute baby teeth smile to permanent teeth and braces!
- I'm grateful for a solid foundation in a Christ-centered home + church and Sunday school + good teachers and good friends at CHA!
- I'm thankful that Mom led me to Jesus as my Savior when I was in first grade!
- I'm thankful God healed me from Bells Palsy in second grade.
- Thankful that our family moved to 9121, a house I really loved, when I was in 3rd grade!
- And I'm thankful for not just one but two rounds of Glamour Shots in this historic time period! lol ;-)
- (1997-2002, The Teenage Years.) Seventh grade through Senior year... navigating cliques and friendship changes, learning to drive, and spending far more time thinking about my future wedding colors than I did my future career path (an absurd problem I shared with lots of young ladies at CHA).
- The six years of braces gradually fixed my underbite, and I'm thankful Mom told me to smile as if I'm laughing (without biting down) so that my teeth would actually show in pictures - not sure why that never occurred to me on my own, but it made my smile look much better and more natural/unforced from 8th grade forward!
- Thankful for my fun homeschool year with Mom in 8th grade (that was my first shorter haircut at 14, and I remember feeling really pretty and grown up on that picture day).
- Grateful for fun trips to Hawaii, Florida, and Vegas in this season thanks to Babah's RNA company!
- Very thankful God healed me again from a much longer round of Bells Palsy in 10th grade!
- And I'm thankful that we had a fun house where people liked to come hang out, so I have lots of great memories with friends and family throughout my junior high and high school years!
- (2003-2008, The "Pretty, But Dumb" Years.) So. much. life change happened in this period... Business Major at OBU, Court Reporting Major at Rose State, moved to a dorm in Shawnee then moved back home, started my career at age 20 in Chickasha, fell in love/obsessive infatuation with Josh, took a job near Tulsa to be closer to him, bought my first home, abruptly cut off by Josh and his entire friend group, low point and faith crisis in 2007, gradually formed an entirely new friend circle through my Tulsa lifegroup!
- Without realizing it on either side at the time, I was at my most physically beautiful but also at my dumbest through this season... (I enjoy learning and I'm intelligent in an intellectual/academic sense, but fully assuming that marriage would play out according to my 7-7-07 life plan and choosing to rush through school rather than carefully considering my future career path was dumb. And putting people above God and trying to morph into someone else rather than standing in my own unique identity in Christ was dumb, too... that will set you up for a haaard fall every time!)
- I have grace for myself looking back, and I'm grateful for the way God protected me in spite of my own stupidity and cluelessness, and sometimes just being cringey and manipulative at this age.
- I'm thankful for the way God gently walked me through that intense rejection and faith crisis, bringing me closer to Him in a more authentic way than untested 'name it and claim it' faith could ever do.
- I'm thankful that He led me to a job that's been a really good fit for me thus far, and for all the ways He was faithful in bringing people in and out of my life for my own good and His glory!
- (2009-2014, The Malori Years.) That was the overarching theme of this period of life for me - we were roommates and best friends in 2009; she was there for me through family drama/isolation, learning about my personality, and rebuilding my sense of identity in 2010 and 2011; she encouraged me to go back to school and earn my degree in 2012; she inexplicably cut me off in 2013; and 2014 was a lot of unnecessary self-blame and trying to recover a sense of belonging and worthiness.
- This six-year period included some extreme weight loss and extreme weight gain (lots of contributing outside factors at play there, and I'm choosing grace and self-compassion on all that), a terrible church-backed prayer ministry experience, several fun vacations with friends and family, being a bridesmaid in two weddings, facing depression and seeking help with antidepressants and counseling, and completing my first 3 Half Marathons.
- I'm grateful for how God has used the hard and unfair things to shape me. Thankful for my time at SNU, for God's grace in surrounding me with supportive friends who helped hold me together when life seemed to fall apart, and for great memories from three amazing Vegas trips in this season!!
- Hmm, these pics are making me consider cutting bangs again - red with bangs feels like a signature look for me. lol
7. Levels 31-36:
- (2015-2020, The Peaceful Rebuilding Years.) In spite of the global pandemic and the death of sweet Grandad, these years were mostly filled with good memories and quiet, simple progress.
- I'm grateful for growing in my personal security and in my walk with God, feeling more deeply aware of His kindness and faithfulness the more I seek Him and the more I write and reflect on life!
- Thankful for two more Vegas trips and an amazing family trip to Niagara Falls and NYC!
- Thankful for being more authentic and feeling more connected and valued as a friend, daughter, sister, and "Aunt Lindsey!" ❤
- Grateful for life-changing books (The Joy of Movement, Atomic Habits) that inspired me to get serious in my exercise routine... and so thankful for Peloton making it fun and offering the perfect mix of variety and familiarity for me in my daily workouts!
- Thankful for the Friday Night Dinners helping me build some confidence in my ability to host, cook, and facilitate meaningful connections/good conversations with friends!
- Happy to feel more secure in my singleness, more empowered in my friendships, and more content with my work life!
- Thankful for good counselors, personal growth, and working toward healthier relationships with friends and family!!
8. Level 37-42
- (2021-2026, The Healthy Parent Years?) My hope and plan for this set of years is that the overarching themes will be pursuing and then maintaining good health AND adopting a child and stepping into the role of "Mom!"
- As a single woman, I'm grateful God gave me the courage and confirmation I needed to start the adoption process, which has already included multiple small steps that required bravery and hope. I love that it's strengthening my faith and confidence and giving me a very clear reason to pray and seek God's grace and guidance every day!
- Grateful that I've made great progress in my mental/emotional/spiritual health and in building good exercise habits. And I am determined to improve my nutrition habits and overall physical health... it's easy to coast on old habits and comfort foods and be apathetic and feel defeatist about the possibility of change there, but I want to set a good example and live a healthier lifestyle that enables me to be a more active parent with a longer lifespan... so I have to do the work and get serious about the pursuit of better nutrition and physical health! It's a deeply-rooted mental and physical stronghold that I need to break in order to build the future I truly desire.
- I'm expecting good things and determined to do the day-to-day work toward building a more meaningful life! As always, there are some things I'm working on with God and working out in my soul... but overall, I'm excited about where I am and what God is doing right now, and I'm looking forward to creating a bright future with His help!!
I set this to publish at 2:17 AM on 2-17 because cheesy things like that make me happy. =)
Thanks for being here to read and thanks for being a part of my real life, friends and fam! "Level 40" is coming up soon, and for the first time in my life thus far, that one feels a bit daunting in my mind. But hopefully I can prepare for it over the next two years and step into it with confidence and peace when I get there. I know "level up" is a gaming term, but it's also a phrase they use a lot in Peloton, so it makes me happy to reframe birthdays and aging in that way! There are future unknowns and there are certainly people that I miss from past seasons, and in spite of many long-term friendships, I struggle with loneliness more often than I would like lately. I don't have everything I want in my life right now (I'm guessing no one does), but I'm also very aware that life is a gift, and becoming more aware that I have the power to create meaningful change... I have much to be grateful for and so many good things to keep reaching toward and conquering as I continue to level up!
So Happy Birthday to me... let's do this!! =)
And Happy Thursday to all of you. Hope you have a wonderful weekend ahead! ❤
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