Eras (Lindsey's Version)

(Not really a T-Swift themed post.) 

With a school break, a milestone birthday approaching, and the end of 2023 coming even faster, I'm having deep thoughts (and needing to get out of my own head and into the real world ASAP). lol  

I'll spare you most of the existential rambling and jump into the conclusion:  There is no past stage or era of my life that I look back on with deep regret, shame, or hatred.  I've learned and grown through every poor choice or painful season God allowed me to endure.  And I get to carry that wisdom with me, so it's not hard to see value and purpose in it all.  I really do trust that God works all things together for my good, and I have mounting evidentiary proof of that!  

Having said that, it has always bothered me when a past version of me is stuck in someone else's mind, when they fail to notice or appreciate that I've changed and grown.  It's not intentional on their part, but that dynamic always feels dismissive, discouraging, and disempowering to me.  But it shouldn't affect my current reality -- so I want to focus more and more on who God created me to be in the future and who I know myself to be today, and less and less on how other people view me through a past lens.

Watching The Adam Project reminded me that our childhood self (our inner child) can still teach us valuable things about what matters most.  (I loved that the kid in this movie corrected his adult's hyper-critical perspective on their dad, reminding him of lots of great things he had done with and for them.  I think adults often look back with more cynicism than the situation merited, and it's good to have a perspective check.)

And watching The Crown series finale reminded me that the woman I am today will someday inspire and inform my perspective in my older years.  I loved the visual of past versions of herself talking her through a major decision.

It's freeing to remember that we cannot be everything to everyone.

We cannot always please others or force them to see us in a new light.

But how we see ourselves determines our direction.

"Make peace with the fact that people hold different versions of you in their mind.

Ultimately, who YOU know yourself to be is what matters most."

❤