*2013 EDIT: Character trumps personality, always. The heart and character of any person (whether they value and seek God) is by far the most important thing about them! I still believe there is a lot of merit to this Personality theory and that opposites often attract, but I've realized that as Christians, it is healthiest for us to find our true "opposite" in Jesus - that He completes us perfectly and He is strong where we are weak. He knows what we need and He always cares and does exactly what is best for us. We will naturally connect and click better with certain personality types, but our goal should be to seek God first and form relationships with others who seek Him first! ❤Original post:
We learned about this at our court reporting seminar this year, and the more I've thought about this, the more fascinating it has become to me! The four basic personality types are Driver, Expressive, Amiable, and Analytical. There is obviously a very broad range of people in each category, but certain characteristics they tend to share.
So which description fits YOU!?
The DRIVER (Choleric)
Extroverted Thinker
Strengths: Drivers are independent, strong-willed, direct, and practical! They love to be in charge and have things done their way. They want results, and they are confident in themselves and willing to take risks. They are organized, forceful, efficient, hard-working, and very decisive. They have strong opinions, they speak boldly, and they are very persuasive. They are task-oriented, knowing what they want and how to get there. They do not shy away from conflict. They typically communicate quickly and get right to the point. Weaknesses: They can be brash, impatient, and domineering. They sometimes come across as threatening and intimidating to other types.
They desire respect and control; they hate to feel that someone is taking advantage of them. They are very goal-oriented and want to be measured by results! *Drivers are best paired with Amiables. In a major crisis, their personality may temporarily shift toward the Expressive (from calculated thinking to more emotional reactions.)
The EXPRESSIVE (Sanguine)
Extroverted Feeler
Strengths: Expressives are warm, outgoing, friendly, and enthusiastic! They are good communicators and make natural salesmen and story-tellers. They are energetic, highly competitive, excitable, and good at inspiring others. They are imaginative dreamers and natural encouragers. They are people-oriented, so they love to be part of the group and they're always ready for something new and exciting! Weaknesses: They tend to exaggerate and may leave out certain facts and details. They get bored easily and sometimes struggle to follow through on their goals. They can be messy and they lack a tolerance for details. They sometimes have unrealistic expectations.
They desire recognition and appreciation; they hate lack of attention and feeling isolated. They usually want to be measured by applause and feedback! *Expressives are best paired with Analyticals. In a major crisis, their personality may temporarily shift toward the Driver (less emotion-based and more forceful/efficient decisions.)
The AMIABLE (Phlegmatic)
Introverted Feeler
Strengths: Amiables are kind, supportive, patient, and dependable. They are often soft-spoken, thoughtful, and genuine. They usually enjoy art and poetry and are sensitive to the emotions of others. They are team players who have a stabilizing effect on others. They are easy to get along with, trustful, and make good listeners. They are relationship-oriented, and their priority is to promote group happiness and minimize conflict. Weaknesses: They are not assertive and typically will avoid confrontation. They can be indecisive and wishy-washy, and they tend to conform to what others want from them. They find it difficult to say no and thus may be over-committed. Often too passive and compliant, failing to speak up for themselves.
They desire stability and harmony; they hate change and chaos. They want to be measured by their friendships and what their close friends think of them! *Amiables are best paired with Drivers. In a major crisis, their personality may temporarily shift toward Analytical (moving from warmth to more calculated and guarded reasoning.)
The ANALYTICAL (Melancholy)
Introverted Thinker
Strengths: Analyticals are very logical, disciplined, and detailed. They are well organized, task oriented, and diligent workers. They are very perceptive and are typically good problem solvers. They are cautious and thorough in reviewing the facts before making a decision. Weaknesses: They are usually perfectionists, so they want to save face and never get caught making a mistake. They can be withdrawn, quiet, even sullen at times. They think analytically and tend to get stuck on certain subjects. They are not typically risk-takers, and they can be overly critical and pessimistic.
They desire accuracy; they hate to be wrong or to be criticized. They like to work hard and stay busy, and they prefer to be measured by activity! *Analyticals are best paired with Expressives. In a major crisis, their personality may shift toward Amiable (less guarded and more free/emotive).
And opposites really do attract. Throughout my life, I've always been drawn to people with the strong, decisive Driver personality... even including Joyce Meyer! There's my mom, Julie, Holly (wow, every word of that description fits her), Josh, Natalie, Malori, etc. (And just looking at the personality descriptions, it makes perfect sense that when those personalities pair up and God's not in it, the Amiables may be used and trampled.) I have always had a lot of fun and gotten along very well with the outgoing Expressives... including my sister and Sarah and Chet Lee! Another Expressive that I love is Beth Moore! :)
I get along well enough with other Amiables and Analyticals, but it's sometimes hard to know what they're really thinking, and it helps to have an extroverted Expressive or Driver to liven things up. Anyway, it's just so interesting and cool how the different personalities mesh together and how we all help balance each other out!! The most balanced, fun, loving marriages are usually between people who are on opposite ends of the spectrum... and the more boring or volatile marriages are typically people who married their own personality type, which will naturally seem attractive at first. So interesting. So to sum that up, my perfect future match would be a Driver guy who is passionate about God and passionate about me and will not take advantage of my softer personality. Oh, and on a bit of a depressing note, I cannot think of one Driver guy that I know at the moment. Several women; zero men. What is that about??
We even have all four personalities in our "mini-group." Malori = Driver; Chet = Expressive; Nathan = Analytical; and me = Amiable. It's just funny how it naturally pairs up like that. :)
Anyway, I honestly love it that relationships matter most to me and that I live from my heart, although reading that "Amiable" description makes it even more clear to me why the sudden loss of love, friendships, respect, and reputation affected me sooo dramatically, and why other types genuinely couldn't understand why I could not let that go and move on and feel good about myself. And it's interesting how much I did downshift into the Analytical, calculated, guarded outlook for a while after all that... staying really busy and active and hoping that would solve the internal problem.
It's been fascinating to study this and think about how it relates to everyone I know, but when I look at my own life, I see a lot of room for improvement... I keep reminding myself that people can change and improve, and that God knew what He was doing when He created me this way! I want to stay true to who I am, but I do not want to live a weak, nice and quiet, indecisive, conforming (unoriginal) little life. I want to be a strong Amiable like Dave Meyer; not to let passivity or fear get the best of me! Since I truly am indecisive, I still don't know exactly what that means or what I should be doing to change, or even whether I'm supposed to be a leader or do something more behind-the-scenes with my life. Blah. In all my decisions, I hope to become more concerned with what God thinks than what people think of me, because as much as I'd like to pretend I'm above it, that is a continual struggle. I want to listen to Him and then step out in faith on what He says without needing the approval of anyone else!
One chart I read gave Biblical examples for each category:
Paul = Driver (decisive leader, bold faith, not afraid to confront others, etc.)
Peter = Expressive (passionate, emotional, sometimes speaks before thinking, etc.)
Abraham = Amiable (devoted follower, faithful, chooses peace and harmony over self-promotion, makes poor decisions when he feels threatened by people, etc.)
Moses = Analytical (cautious and reluctant leader, highly educated but humble, meticulous and detail-oriented, etc.)
So I thought that was pretty interesting, and they all made sense for loads of reasons. It's comforting to me that God can use anyone, and that He can balance out any personality and use our weaknesses for good!
"We are weak, but He is strong. Yes, Jesus loves us..." ❤
Okay, I'm going to bed now! :)
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