Marbled Memories

One of my favorite things about little kids is how quickly their emotions shift and how fully committed they are to every emotion.  They're endearingly honest and fully alive... and highly entertaining! ;)  

The other day, Rach was playing a game with Jace and Kyndal where they'd climb on her legs and she'd help them do a back flip... they both loved it, so of course, she told them they had to take turns.  Literally every time it was Kyndal's turn, she was elated and laughing all the way around, just having the best time in the world - so cute!  Then the second Rach would call Jace over, she was crushed, dramatically falling to the ground and crying like her adorable life was falling apart at the seams.  (We're talking 30 seconds or less between their turns, but this probably happened five times in a row before Rach called it quits.)  It was fascinating how fast she could switch back and forth, fully happy then fully upset!  

Our emotions get a bit more complex as we get older...

I read an article (HERE) this week about Disney Pixar's latest movie, Inside Out, and it made me think about how every emotion matters, and sometimes we unwittingly do more damage to ourselves by trying to silence grief or disconnect from feeling sadness.

The movie tells the story of an 11-year-old girl named Riley as her family moves to a new state.  Her mom is stressed with the move and her dad is struggling to adjust to the pressures of his new job, so seeing their daughter as the bright spot in their lives, Riley's mom tells her that they need her to be happy for the sake of the family...

"It’s a well-meaning gesture, spoken without malice and intended to help Riley be strong. Yet it is this conversation that sets off the trouble inside Riley’s head... Riley's problem is not that she is experiencing sadness as a result of the move; her real problem is that she is trying so hard not to experience sadness. Inside her head, Joy literally draws a circle around Sadness and tells her not to come out of it. That fateful decision cuts Riley off from the help that she needs, driving her into depression and isolation. In one of Pixar’s most poignant scenes, Joy ultimately lets Sadness have control, Riley’s tears finally flow, and she is able to find the emotional support that she needs."  ~Ken Roach

I saw the movie in theaters and thought it was well done, but I didn't have any sort of personal epiphany until I read the above paragraph.  Riley is adjusting to major changes in her friendships, classes, outside activities, and family dynamic... yet she feels guilty about being sad.  I'm very aware that that has been true for me sometimes... and that feeling guilty about feeling sadness just throws everything out of balance.  It creates a toxic internal pressure to project false joy that usually leads to feeling disconnected from yourself and everyone around you, which is the basic definition of depression.  

So allowing yourself to feel every emotion -- NOT to wallow in self-pity or let the emotions control you, but to simply acknowledge it when you feel sad without shame or worry that you will disappoint God or anyone else -- is healthy.  (And is the fastest road to genuine healing and joy).  God knows our hearts, and He wants "truth in our inmost being," so sometimes that means crying out to Him in the midst of pain and heartache.  

"The world can see through our plastic smiles, and it's a recipe for an emotional breakdown if we never allow ourselves to feel difficult emotions for fear that we will be a disappointment to God."  ~K. Roach

I'm almost done, I promise... One other thing I loved was how the movie depicted memories... every memory was in a glass ball that had a color based on the emotion Riley was feeling at the time.  In the beginning, her memories were mostly yellow (meaning JOY) ...with a few blue (SADNESS), purple (FEAR), green (DISGUST), and red (ANGER) thrown in.  (Watching Jace and Kyndal play the other day, that makes sense to me - they're all in with one emotion or the other!)

It was somewhat subtle, but toward the end of the movie, as "Joy" and "Sadness" learned to work together and saw the value in each other, a lot of Riley's memories became two-tone or multi-colored... like marbled blue-and-yellow.  So much of life can be bittersweet, and I appreciated the portrayal of joy and sadness coexisting... making things a little more complex, but also more beautiful.

God's joy is our strength, but that doesn't mean that sadness is the enemy or something He looks on with disapproval or condemnation.  God is amazing and wonderfully elaborate, and we are made in His image.  We are capable of experiencing both gratitude and loss at the same time... grief and joy mixed together... fear and courage... anger and love... brokenness and hope, etc.  For those who love Him, God is able to take every marbled memory and tangled emotion, all the  jagged edges and complicated pieces of our lives, and create something uniquely radiant that reflects His glory.

My life is full of "marbled" memories, and I am grateful for all of them. ❤