Calming Down

You know that scene in Princess Diaries where Paolo (the obnoxious hairdresser who thinks he should be applauded as a miracle-worker for making Anne Hathaway look pretty) is brushing Mia's curly hair and his hairbrush just gives up and breaks!?  That happened to me yesterday with my yellow WetBrush... the handle just snapped off as the brush was still in my hair. lol  It was the weirdest thing, and immediately made me laugh and think of that movie! :)  (Despite that story, the WetBrush is awesome and always painless regardless of how tangly your hair is... highly recommend it... going out to buy a new one soon! lol)

So anyway, I'm fighting myself not to send a snarky response email right now.  Somehow, receiving a generic rejection letter with a non-applicable list... and now a self-important and needlessly distant email from the program director about how it is "outside their protocol" to offer specifics to rejected applicants is not sitting well with me.  It's really amazing how the biting poetic sarcasm just floooows out of me when I'm this irritated.  I could write brilliantly snarky chic lit books if I let myself go there more often, but it's good that I don't.  It's always cathartic to write it, and pressing "send" is honestly pretty satisfying, but I know it's never a good idea in the long run to respond that way... especially when the other person/entity is already in the superior position because you wanted something in their power to give and they chose to withhold it, so no matter what you say, it feels like they're looking down at you from their pretentious throne, amused by your strong reaction.  Barf!  I was telling Laura this morning that when you've been rejected by as many people and places as I have, it all tends to jumble together in your mind and it's a messy thing to let that all go while holding on to your self-esteem, to write off what you wanted from them without writing off your heart's desires and numbing out for a while.  My worth and dignity come from God, and I will not live for the acceptance of people.  (Repeat x100.)  Still, sometimes you just want to force the other party to care and to see you as a real person with real value... but silence tends to be the best choice in the face of rejection, whether they ever care or not.  Huzzah for taking the high road; right?

So, Memory Monday:  Eight years ago today, I went to my first CLS party with some LifeGroup friends.  'Twas the day I met my former best friend, and that party turned out to be a belated surprise birthday party for her.  Ahh, memories.  Thankfully, I'm getting closer to the point where I can look back on the happy times without it feeling so bittersweet and sucky.  And I'm looking back at that stuff less and less, but Timehop faithfully reminds me of certain dates and memories.  Which is okay at this point.

"Never forget that time by itself does nothing to heal."  ~Beth Moore
True.  Time does not heal all wounds, but God can heal us when we turn to Him.

Okay, my urge to send the snarky email has passed, so I guess I'll delete it and get back to work now!  Yay for The Voice and Planet Fitness tonight!! =)  I'm trying to get back in the swing of things with working out... my cough is mostly gone, but the wheezing is still ridiculous at times.  At the very least, I want to walk several miles over these next two weeks to get ready for Disney and Universal!!! #getexcited #Floridatrip2015