Cocky, aggressive, and ridiculous in so many ways, but highly entertaining... and the only reason I bothered watching this painfully stupid show! =)
(On the other guys "falling for her" so quickly:)
"Y’all don’t know her yet! You can’t be in love with her. Is this the first beautiful girl you’ve ever seen? You don’t have TV? You don’t have magazines?”
(Threatening Jordan:)
“You think this is a show, and you think you’re safe - for now. But one day this ends. And when this ends, you go home. When you go home, you think I can’t find you? You think I won’t go out of my way to come to your house?"
(Explaining that later... lol)
"I never said what I would do. Maybe I'll show up to his house and bring him some candies, you know!?" #reversehalloween
“Alex lied. He told her that I threatened people. And you know what? Now I gotta go find Alex.”
“Imagine - if you’re making a protein shake made of the group of dudes here and, you know, blended it up, half of that dude-protein-shake would have zero chance with JoJo!”
(His rose ceremony predictions:)
“She’s gonna keep Alex around because she doesn’t want America to think she hates short people.”
(Seeing himself in a mirror:)
“Woahhhh, hey, buddy!!”
(On the group pool party:)
"I’d be happier having her not be in a bathing suit, so they couldn’t see her in a bathing suit. I know what she probably looks like. I can tell through her dress.”
(Explaining his confusion to JoJo about her giving Evan the rose:)
“So it’s like, imagine me trying to figure out what restaurant you want to eat at - you know what I mean? I mean, do you want ice cream, or do you want steak!?”
(Overreacting after Chris Harrison told him some of the guys were scared of him and he should think about a good approach to make peace:)
“I’m going to cut everyone here’s legs off and arms off, and there’s gonna be torsos, then I’m gonna throw 'em in the pool!”
"The best advice I can give him is to mind his own business and not bring up my name. If he can do that, things will go all right. And if not, I'll be taking his teeth home... In other words, it is not a wise decision to poke the Chad Bear!"
"If I don't lift some weights, I'm gonna murder someone."
(On the other guys in the house:)
"These guys are acting like really old, worn-out-looking... high school kids."
"I can't explain to you the reason you do the things you do, Evan."
"You got the bleeding, crying, sensitive guy with kids. And then you've got scared-of-people sensitive guy. This guy's over here doing yoga."
"You know, like, you're a good guy, I'm sure, probably."
"You don't talk to me; you don't talk to me; you don't talk to me. At all. Not one word! Don't ask me advice. Don't talk to me about my life!"
(When Alex was upset with him:)
"I can't explain to you the reason you do the things you do, Evan."
"You got the bleeding, crying, sensitive guy with kids. And then you've got scared-of-people sensitive guy. This guy's over here doing yoga."
"You know, like, you're a good guy, I'm sure, probably."
"You don't talk to me; you don't talk to me; you don't talk to me. At all. Not one word! Don't ask me advice. Don't talk to me about my life!"
(When Alex was upset with him:)
"Have a glass of milk, man, and chill out!"
(On Daniel saying, "Let's pretend you're Hitler":)
"Let's NOT pretend I'm Hitler!"
(On fighting at the Men Tell All event:)
“You wanna fight!? We should probably not do that both in dress shoes. We’re both going to fall down and... just look stupid.”
(On fighting at the Men Tell All event:)
“You wanna fight!? We should probably not do that both in dress shoes. We’re both going to fall down and... just look stupid.”
"Alex, you little man-let. I will destroy you."
"I made jokes about you to the cameras... because it's funny."
"What do you do? You can't punch someone on camera! ...Maybe I should've punched somebody! Maybe if I punched one person, they would've been like, I shouldn't brush into this dude."
(On interrupting her talk with another guy:)
"I seriously just did her a favor. Like, you're welcome. Here I am!"
(On why he was kicked off:)
"I guess she thinks that I'm too intense or something."
(On why he was kicked off:)
"I guess she thinks that I'm too intense or something."
(Deep thoughts by Chad:)
"Life ain't all blueberries and paper airplanes; you know what I mean?"
"Think about your thoughts... before you say them!"
"Sometimes you choose apples when you should've chose pickles; you know what I mean?"
The other guys threw a fake funeral and then had a party the day he was kicked off... Click HERE to see the protein powder funeral clip. The protein-scattering ceremony, Chad whistling in the woods, him running his fingertips down the door... all hilarious! Best of all is Evan saying: "Ummm, I hope Chad's not here for his protein powder, or we're all gonna be toast!"
The other guys threw a fake funeral and then had a party the day he was kicked off... Click HERE to see the protein powder funeral clip. The protein-scattering ceremony, Chad whistling in the woods, him running his fingertips down the door... all hilarious! Best of all is Evan saying: "Ummm, I hope Chad's not here for his protein powder, or we're all gonna be toast!"
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