Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

"As long as people can change, the world can change!"
~Mr. Kelson, Two Weeks Notice

“Changing ourselves and our habits is the most powerful tool we have to change the world... The most dangerous thing we can believe is that we do not have an impact. For better or for worse, we are all changing the world.”

~Allison Fallon

Well, I had a mini-revelation while Sarah and I were talking about Grey's Anatomy last week...

She mentioned liking Meredith better now than she used to, and I said something like: 

"Yeah, I really like who Meredith becomes... I mean, I like the new gutsy, resilient version of Meredith!  I didn't like her much in the beginning seasons when she was this needy, whiny, 'Pick me - choose me' emotional basket case.  She was all "dark and twisty" and borderline suicidal, and constantly making bad decisions with men, always looking to Cristina for advice and strength.  She's just super annoying in the beginning.  But then Cristina moves and Derek dies, and she makes it through the plane crash and all the other loss and drama Shonda Rhimes can think of to put her through, and now she's bolder and stronger and more encouraging.  But I guess going through all of that is what made her become this fierce, confident, much more likable person!"

Sarah wholeheartedly agreed, and we talked about that for a bit.  And yes, it's silly and absurd that we talk about them like they're real people.  Whatever. lol

My point is -- (and you probably caught this already) -- I realized somewhere in the middle of that little speech that I was actually talking about myself.  And it just made me incredibly happy!  

People are far more capable of change than I once believed, and thank God for that. ❤

My 2018 self is much healthier and happier, more stable and confident than my 2013 self (or 2011 Lindsey or the hot mess that was 2007 Lindsey).  People change A LOT over the course of a decade, for better or for worse.  And when you go through circumstances that feel like they are "for the worse," if often changes YOU for the better.  I genuinely like myself and love who I've become now -- I lost the guy I thought I would marry and the friend I thought would be with me forever, and I discovered that life goes on, and I've found my identity and security and strength in Christ.  And He has worked all these things together to make me more resilient and strong, less emotional and needy and whiny, more encouraging, less dark and twisty and depressed.

In one episode, Maggie tells Meredith she didn't want to bother her with her personal problems because Meredith had already been through so much herself.  And Meredith responds, "Well, you should always come talk to me.  Because whatever it is, chances are, I've seen worse.  And I am qualified to tell you how you'll survive."

And I loved that.

I know right now there are lots of good Christian girls out there who genuinely think that being over 30 and single is the very worst thing that could happen to them.  There are sweet girls who have fallen in love with their best guy friend and completely lost sight of their own value apart from him.  Some who have been manipulative in their efforts to find love, who feel confused and broken and disgusted with themselves, but stuck in a pattern they don't know how to break.  There are some who find themselves suddenly cut off from the man they loved and shunned by all his friends, certain they can't make it through a full month without him, and wondering if they will ever recover.  There are those going through painful family stuff, dealing with addiction issues or medical diagnoses or painful comments or caretaker exhaustion.  And there are those facing the unexpected loss of a treasured best friendship that leaves them feeling less than whole.  

For those who have lost sight of their personal God-given value, who are searching for security and feeling desperate for hope and joy, I want to be a voice of encouragement and hope!!  As someone who has walked that road and come out alive, I can assure them that God really is faithful and His promises are true.  He really does give beauty for ashes, so we can hold on to hope and trust Him to change and transform us!! ❤

P.S.  On that note, I've for reals been working on writing my book... finally.  I have a strong outline for it and over 50,000 words written... with lots of writing, editing, and reworking still to come.  But I'm feeling really excited about it, like it's finally God's timing for this thing to happen. #getexcited =)