Happy New Year!

Happy New Year 2024!!!

My Tulsa fam and I did a New Year's Day lunch at Napa Flats, featuring the Palo Alto dip appetizer and a chicken florentine pizza for me.  (Charleston's was our first choice, but they were closed, so #newyearnewrestaurantnewappetizer.) 

For a million reasons, I am grateful for this group.  They are supportive lifelong friends who add joy and value to my life and challenge me in the best of ways.  Gracious, I've written and deleted like four different paragraphs at this point, so I'm just gonna leave it at that and save the bigger conversations and deeper thoughts for in-person relationships.

Steve and Kate working on the kids' menu puzzles + Kate crawling around the booth.

Sarah and Steve went home to catch up on sleep, but I spent most of New Year's Day chatting and hanging out with the Wilson fam.  For reasons I myself don't fully understand and won't attempt to get into here, I haven't been in the best headspace lately, so it was good and encouraging to be around people who care about me.  We talked about future business plans, family stuff, Atomic Habits, 2024 goals/mindsets, and more.  

Chet Lee's new truck! - *I generally couldn't care less about cars, but I love the story behind this one.  It belonged to his uncle, Richard, who was more of a father-figure -- Chet went with him when he purchased it around 2003?, and it was the first car Chet ever drove when he got his permit.  Tragically, Richard died from COVID three years ago.  When Chet heard that the family was planning to sell this, he decided to buy it and fix it up, much to their family's delight (and mine - that story brings me lots of joy).  Of course, I also love that it's red, and I'm hoping that vibrant color will grow on him. lol

Tate Haywood showing me his new pirate ship, which is pretty awesome!!  He also got a fun yellow scooter from Santa, but I failed to get a photo of that. 

Parker Elizabeth showing me the snowflakes Karli and the kids made from coffee filters! ❤

Parker's Christmas gifts included this fun scooter with light-up wheels from Santa, a pink microphone that echos when she sings (or coughs or yells at Tate), and a cute little ice cream set.  She brought me some pretend tea and ice cream and gave me a pretend manicure, so that was much appreciated!  She also tried hard to give me part of her real Whataburger cookie, pointing out the chocolate chips and everything, so that was my first chance to say, "Thank you sooo much for sharing this, but you can keep it bc I'm not really into sweets." lol

Miss Kyndal Faith had her first scrimmage with her new Charge club volleyball team on Saturday.  She's genuinely the best player on this lower-ranking team, and I love the leadership vibes its bringing out in her!  She hates to lose and really wants their team to improve, and she's a good encourager and supporter for her teammates!  She's the libero, a back-row defense specialist, so she wears a different color uniform, which is helpful for me in finding her quickly! lol  I so love the character stuff sports teaches, and I love her feisty, tenderhearted self!  ❤

On Sunday, I met Mom and Rach for a New Year's Eve brunch at the Cheesecake Factory... good food and a good talk with them!  ❤

I'm grateful (partially) to have had some good rest time during this break.  Most of 2023 was incredibly fast-paced and busy -- a lot of courageous steps forward, facing one new and challenging thing after another, focusing on rising to the occasion and doing what was required.  And then suddenly, school was over and life got quiet.  There are definitely some repressed emotions, fears, resentments, and grief that have finally had the space to surface and bubble up during this break period.  (Along with a psoriasis flare-up that'll remind me not to take clear skin for granted.)  Woof.  While I could never claim to love that experience, I know it's good for me to feel it all as long as I don't allow the enemy to claim any new ground here - the shame message I've been hearing for the past few days is that I have zero business counseling others when my internal life feels this messy, but today, my spirit is fighting back as I realize with certainty that message is not coming from God.  In the midst of being genuinely grateful and excited about what lies ahead, I am also tired, and I'm scared, and I'm hurting, and I'm lonely, and I'm uncertain about all the details and support system I'll need.  I'm human and imperfect and repentant and messy, but I'm growing and I'm trying and "failing forward," and there is abundant grace for all of it.  I am not forsaken - God's mercy is new every morning.  And it's not a bad thing to be in touch with my humanity, to feel deeply humbled and to be reminded of my need for His strength and guidance.  I also feel more deeply aware of my need and desire for supportive local community, so I'm going to press into building that up in 2024 (without fear of losing or diminishing my Tulsa friendships).  I teared up when I saw this meme on Instagram...

So putting all the distracting noise and chaos and bright photo collages aside, in the moments of quiet reflection, I am wrestling with some unspoken conflict and self-doubt, BUT simultaneously, I am deeply grateful for the work that God is doing in me and through me and for me... and for the people who know me best right now (Chet Lee and Kristin Michelle)... and for the God-given inner strength it took to rally repeatedly and make it through the hardest parts of 2023... and for this thankfully-brief time of quiet rest and facing my own brokenness and seeking healing... and for the daily details Jesus uses to bring me hope... and the overarching eternal HOPE in Christ that carries me and adds value to everything else. 

Parts of 2024 will be pivotal and monumental for me, but most of it will involve a lot of hard work and the routine stuff of day-to-day life.  My time at Restore starts back up tomorrow, so it's time to take a deep breath and prepare myself for the path ahead of me.  This is the third time I've changed up these pictures in my bedroom, and these are the reminders my heart needs right now!  ❤

Okay, that's really all for today.

Happy New Year!

❤