Identity Alignment

I listened to Atomic Habits yesterday.  Always a great way to start off a new year, and I get something new out of it every time.  

This time, the quote that really struck me was this: "The biggest barrier to positive change at any level - individual, team, society - is identity conflict."

It goes along with my "Believe" word for 2024.  You are unlikely to live a happy and healthy lifestyle while believing you're a person who loves sweets and comfort food and prefers lazy days at home to activity.  When you associate happiness and "being yourself" with unhealthy behaviors, you will feel unhappy and out-of-alignment as you pursue good health.  It's an identity conflict.

The author talked about the mindset difference in: "No thanks, I'm trying to quit smoking" vs. "No thanks, I'm not a smoker."  And I GET IT.  The way you see yourself heavily influences your daily habits, and the more one shifts, the easier it will become to change the other.  That makes SO much sense to me.  

The Bible also talks about taking off the old self and putting on the new, dying to the flesh, becoming a new creation in Christ, calling things that be not as though they were, etc.  We do not have to wear forever an identity that no longer fits us - particularly when we didn't really choose it in the first place.  So much of who we are stems from childhood habit patterns that we had little control in forming, but our. habits. can. change.  There are triggers everywhere that activate our bad habits, but we can reshape our environment and reprogram our thoughts through repetition + emotion (meaning you have to care about it).  We're not trapped in any old pattern or mindset - we get a choice in who we will be today - and that shapes who we will be in the future.  When we outgrow the old identity, we can choose something that's more our style.  So I'm going to work on rewriting and re-recording my daily identity script for this year ahead, and it's for sure going to include some of the following:

I'm not really into sweets.

My tastes are changing, and I just don't care for sugary foods like I used to.

If I'm in the mood for dessert, I prefer to grab fruit or maybe a protein shake.

When I'm stressed out, movement helps me re-center.

When I set a goal, I follow through.

I'm the kind of person who commits and stays the course!

I reach out quickly when I need my friends.

It's important to me to be healthy in my mind, body, soul, and spirit!

Movement is medicine; I feel stronger emotionally as I get stronger physically.

I love trying new recipes and finding healthy options.

I have a low tolerance for dairy.

No thanks, I'm just not big on sweets.

I'm not meticulous or obsessive about it, but I'm generally a healthy person.
I am decisive, articulate, and eloquent.
I know that my voice matters.
I'm building a life I'm excited about.
I am pressing into the new things God is doing.

I tend to think long-term and make good choices.

I love the way I feel when I work out in the morning, so I go to bed early to make that happen!

I need to move and breathe when I feel anxious.

I love people well, and I reach out for help when I need it.

I love to try new things and stay open to new possibilities!

I value myself and care about making a good first impression.

I'm the kind of person who takes the time to paint my nails and curl my hair.

I take care of myself and wear clothes that make me feel good about myself.

I respect myself and command respect from others.

I speak up for what I need and do not expect others to read my mind.

I deeply value church community and seek it out.
I don't let the fear of rejection hold me back.
I pursue new friendships with quality people.

I believe most people will love me when they get to know me.

I love people, I love community, and I love celebrating with people!!

I enjoy hosting people and making others feel special, and I enjoy baking for fun events!

Oh, I'm here for the company; I'm just not really into sweets.
=)

Even as I wrote that, I could feel myself objecting because something in me soooo clearly associates cakes and cookies with community and fun, but they are not. mutually. exclusive.  In fact, that  mental association itself has been problematic, as my brain often tries to substitute chocolate and comfort foods when I'm craving fun community and relational closeness.  Here, this brownie will make you feel better.  So I'm not forcing any limits or setting any hard rule here, because I'm done living with the mindset that I'm "trying to quit" something I've always loved.  Sugar is not a necessary ingredient for relational connection.  We don't have to be who we've always been if the old patterns no longer serve us.  Let's discard the hand-me-down mindsets and the identity shaped by others, and instead work to reprogram our identity according to OUR VALUES AND WHO WE WANT TO BE moving forward.  I'm paying attention to what triggers my cravings - from feeling stress, joy, or loneliness to driving by certain restaurants to seeing candy in any store checkout line.  And every time I feel that pop up in me (which will be multiple times a day here at the beginning), I'm saying out loud, "I'm not really into sweets, but maybe a quick walk or calling a friend would help clear my mind" or some form of that.

Take off the old; put on the new.

Happy New Year.

❤