2. Me, Josh, Rach, and Holly were the FNFA ("Friday Night Friends Association"). We hung out every weekend and talked about all the great community service projects we should do, and decided to form an organization. We never actually followed through and did these projects, but we did make cute t-shirts with our titles on them, and it looked good on Holly’s resume that she was president of a community service organization which she co-founded! lol
3. He has a genuine heart for God and is funny, easygoing, and kind.
4. We had a great, fun friendship for a while and got to know each other really well… hanging out, phone calls, emails, IM, Xanga -- daily communication, and our families got to know each other as well!
5. Me, Josh, Rach, and Wes hung out and had our “Tuesday night dinners” group, which was always a blast! Josh drove my car (back when I had the fun red convertible) wherever we went, and we put the top down and sang and had a blast! =)
6. He and I had countless deep conversations about God, faith, healing, friends, family, dreams, marriage, future goals, etc. He taught me a lot spiritually, he believed in and encouraged me, and he prayed with me several times throughout our friendship.
7. Kinda random, but the night I officially became interested in more than friendship was two days before his birthday, June 12, 2005 …quite ironic, two years to the day I received the letter. (My heart was quickly consumed by the idea, and I saw him as an awesome spiritual leader and genuinely believed he would be my future husband.)
8. Great dancer... asked to join me as I was taking ballroom dance lessons that summer with Craig, which was so much fun! Craig: “She’s in a pot, and you’re stirring her!” ...Rach and I also taught him some line dances, and we all randomly line danced to Shaniah in the parking lot one day when we were bored. :)
9. We had several fun Dallas road trips with random stops, great talks, singing, and quoting Mean Girls! Also, there was our trip to visit Holly Dei at Yale, where the 3 of us went to NYC for a night and took a tour of the city and saw Mamma Mia on Broadway -- so much fun!!
10. The Boston trip was also a blast… me, Josh, Sarah, Zana, and Evan. He was actually interested in me at that point, but more than likely, my intensity caused him to back off the idea.
11. Has a strong faith in God and was always passionate in his beliefs on healing (I disagreed with him a bit there but respected his heart and faith!)
12. We LOVE Maggie Moo's ice cream and went there often enough that we made friends with DeDe who worked there! :) We got an ice cream cake for Holly once, and drove home freezing with the AC on full blast to try to keep it from melting. :)
13. Very ambitious, eloquent, intelligent, and confident… was always great in Mock Trial, and will make an excellent attorney in the future!
14. A bit strange... he went by “Josh” at CHA, but goes by “Michael” everywhere else. I typically called him "Joshua Michael" to eliminate any confusion. lol
16. Always willing to help out when I (or Mom) needed help with cleaning, painting, yard projects, etc… and I helped him by proofreading his essays and beefing up his scholarship applications! lol
17. He interned for an attorney that came to Chickasha every once in a while, which was truly the only thing I liked about that job! Within a few months of him moving to Tulsa, I gladly accepted the open position in Sapulpa. [Again, something I did with twisted motives that God has used for my good in the end!]
18. His family had a big wooden swing in their backyard, and we’d sit out there having deep talks at night… completely romantic in my mind (so much so that I forgot my fear of bugs), but not in his.
19. He was slow to get angry or upset with me, and quick to forgive (and I certainly did some things that called for it in my Julia-Roberts-in-My-Best-Friends-Wedding-style-crazy mentality!)
20. He loved Hillsong and invited me to a conference where they were leading worship… the speaker happened to be Joyce Meyer, which was the first time I’d heard of her. To this day, she’s one of my favorite Bible teachers! *He also introduced me to John Bevere, Victory Church, and first taught me about the baptism of the Holy Spirit and speaking in tongues!!
21. We talked about “us” several times (as I constantly brought up the subject), and he did his best to be honest without being too harsh. I don’t doubt that he sincerely loved and respected me as a friend and had “no malice or ill will toward me,” but my desire went way beyond a deep friendship, so things got messy really fast – especially when he dated other girls and talked to me about them.
22. He could see that over time, I became obsessive and manipulative. I paid for trips, bought expensive gifts, compiled massive scrapbooks, and subconsciously did all I could to “buy” his love… at the same time trying to cleverly convince him - because I truly believed it - that other girls weren’t right or good enough (and surprise, God didn’t think that was a recipe for a great marriage). My purpose and identity were very wrapped in his opinion of me, and it was unhealthy and often miserable.
23. My mom loved him, and his mom loved me (past tense is key there), and they were ready to plan our wedding (as was I, of course.) Everyone egged on my false belief that things were coming together and he was interested, and several people lightly pressured him toward it even though it wasn’t on his heart. :(
24. After several failed attempts to talk through the problem and save our friendship, he sent me a letter completely cutting me out of his life on June 12, 2007. (This quickly solidified me as the outcast, as his b-day party was 2 days later so everyone knew... No, he didn't handle everything perfectly, but neither did I.) Within a week, seven of my friends from that circle had also stopped talking to me. Shocking, painful, and the hardest thing I’ve been through to date… but it allowed me to slowly climb out of the pit I’d dug for myself, to develop real and healthy friendships, and to find a richer connection and deeper passion for God than I’d ever experienced!
25. We haven’t spoken at all since June of ’07, but I've heard he is engaged now and is going to the law school he’d always dreamed of attending! =) No desire to reconnect, but I am so thankful for how God used that relationship to transform me... and sincerely, I hope he has all he dreams of, and I wish him joy and happiness, but above all this, I wish him love! ;-)
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