“When we say things like: 'People don’t change,' it drives scientists crazy… because change is literally the only constant in all of science. Energy, matter - it’s always changing, morphing, merging, growing, dying. It’s the way people try not to change that’s unnatural. The way we cling to what things were instead of letting them be what they are. The way we cling to old memories instead of forming new ones. The way we insist on believing, despite every scientific indication, that anything in this lifetime is permanent.
Change is constant. How we experience change -- that’s up to us. It can feel like death. Or it can feel like a second chance at life. If we open our fingers, loosen our grips, go with it… it can feel like pure adrenaline… like at any moment, we can have another chance at life. Like at any moment, we can be born all over again."
~Meredith, Grey's Anatomy
A while back, my friend Sarah told me about a book she was reading called Be Here Now. It was all about living in the moment -- rather than dwelling on the past or pining for the future, to simply be present and make the most of today. Experience life now. Love and enjoy the people in your life at this stage and stop dwelling on what used to be or what you're wanting for your future.
Not a new suggestion, but a brilliant one.
I wrote last week about wanting someone permanent in my life. That I hated getting attached then having to detach myself from people over and over. And I do hate that. I am tired of getting hurt, and I have been scrambling to find a way to make it stop... trying to arrange for a way to have a family while avoiding the chance of rejection or abandonment, trying to purposely keep a safe distance from people, etc.
But honestly, I'm kidding myself to think that I can protect my heart that way. Building walls is not the answer. ALL love involves risk, and there's no way around that. I've learned that in close friendships, family relationships, and romantic relationships, there is very little that is ever truly under my control. People disappoint you and things change when you least expect it, so trusting God is essential. (Never easy, but essential.)
I want so much to live from my heart, to really love others and always be willing to risk looking stupid or getting hurt! (And honestly, that is how I have lived my life for the most part, but after being hurt several times, I tend to question that plan.)
But it's the only way to really live. I cannot be this calculating, overanalytical person who creates walls to guard herself. I have to trust God to guard my heart and to heal me when things don't go according to my plan (which has been about 90% of the time). No one, including God, always lives up to our expectations. And we often don't understand why, but that will always be true. Yet I can always control my reaction and choose to trust God rather than leaning on my understanding and getting all upset and closed-off.
People may suddenly leave, change their minds, mistreat you, betray you, or use you. There may be an unexpected illness, disease, or even death that drastically changes life as you know it. Building solid friendships and relationships is so important, but to put your full trust in someone else or tie your self-worth to them is always dangerous. I am living proof of that. As Meredith pointed out on Grey's Anatomy last night, change is constant. Well, change... and the unchanging love and goodness of God!
The ONLY one who will ALWAYS be there, ALWAYS love me, and ALWAYS have my best interest at heart is God. And I have to believe that, even when it doesn't feel true. Even when I'm hurting and don't understand and don't see the purpose. That God is good... all the time.
So rather than belting out, "I am in misery! There ain't nobody who can comfort me. Why won't you answer me?? The silence is slowly killing me!" (always the acoustic version - the regular version sounds ridiculously peppy for those melancholy lyrics) -- Rather than purposely wallowing, I'm going to try to embrace the One who can provide the comfort I need. To stop clinging to the way things used to be... to loosen my grip, go with it, be present, and embrace this season of life for exactly what it is! To BE HERE NOW. ❤
A while back, my friend Sarah told me about a book she was reading called Be Here Now. It was all about living in the moment -- rather than dwelling on the past or pining for the future, to simply be present and make the most of today. Experience life now. Love and enjoy the people in your life at this stage and stop dwelling on what used to be or what you're wanting for your future.
Not a new suggestion, but a brilliant one.
I wrote last week about wanting someone permanent in my life. That I hated getting attached then having to detach myself from people over and over. And I do hate that. I am tired of getting hurt, and I have been scrambling to find a way to make it stop... trying to arrange for a way to have a family while avoiding the chance of rejection or abandonment, trying to purposely keep a safe distance from people, etc.
But honestly, I'm kidding myself to think that I can protect my heart that way. Building walls is not the answer. ALL love involves risk, and there's no way around that. I've learned that in close friendships, family relationships, and romantic relationships, there is very little that is ever truly under my control. People disappoint you and things change when you least expect it, so trusting God is essential. (Never easy, but essential.)
I want so much to live from my heart, to really love others and always be willing to risk looking stupid or getting hurt! (And honestly, that is how I have lived my life for the most part, but after being hurt several times, I tend to question that plan.)
But it's the only way to really live. I cannot be this calculating, overanalytical person who creates walls to guard herself. I have to trust God to guard my heart and to heal me when things don't go according to my plan (which has been about 90% of the time). No one, including God, always lives up to our expectations. And we often don't understand why, but that will always be true. Yet I can always control my reaction and choose to trust God rather than leaning on my understanding and getting all upset and closed-off.
People may suddenly leave, change their minds, mistreat you, betray you, or use you. There may be an unexpected illness, disease, or even death that drastically changes life as you know it. Building solid friendships and relationships is so important, but to put your full trust in someone else or tie your self-worth to them is always dangerous. I am living proof of that. As Meredith pointed out on Grey's Anatomy last night, change is constant. Well, change... and the unchanging love and goodness of God!
The ONLY one who will ALWAYS be there, ALWAYS love me, and ALWAYS have my best interest at heart is God. And I have to believe that, even when it doesn't feel true. Even when I'm hurting and don't understand and don't see the purpose. That God is good... all the time.
So rather than belting out, "I am in misery! There ain't nobody who can comfort me. Why won't you answer me?? The silence is slowly killing me!" (always the acoustic version - the regular version sounds ridiculously peppy for those melancholy lyrics) -- Rather than purposely wallowing, I'm going to try to embrace the One who can provide the comfort I need. To stop clinging to the way things used to be... to loosen my grip, go with it, be present, and embrace this season of life for exactly what it is! To BE HERE NOW. ❤
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