WWW ~ Eldredge

“One of the most poisonous of all Satan’s whispers is simply, 'Things will never change.' That lie kills expectation, trapping our heart forever in the present. To keep desire alive and flourishing, we must renew our vision for what lies ahead. Things will not always be like this. Jesus has promised to 'make all things new.' Eye has not seen, ear has not heard all that God has in store for us, which does not mean 'we have no clue so don’t even try to imagine,' but rather, you cannot outdream God."

“You would not ask someone with a broken arm to swim the English Channel, so you cannot demand that the broken live as if they were whole. Discipline is not the issue; apply discipline and you'll make it worse. What is needed is healing.” 

“True strength does not come out of bravado. Until we are broken, our life will be self-centered, self-reliant; our strength will be our own. So long as you think you are really something in and of yourself, what will you need God for? I don’t trust a man who hasn’t suffered; I don’t let a man get close to me who hasn’t faced his wound. Think of the posers you know—are they the kind of man you would call at 2:00 A.M., when life is collapsing around you? Not me. I don’t want clichés; I want deep, soulful truth, and that only comes when a man has walked the road I’ve been talking about.” 

“We are made in the image of God; we carry within us the desire for our true life of intimacy and adventure. To say we want less than that is to lie.”  

"The bottom-line test of anything claiming to be of Jesus:  Does it bring life?  If it doesn't, drop it like a rattlesnake.  And you will find that the religious never, ever brings life.  Ever.  That is its greatest exposure."

"One of the reasons we like our friends is because we like who we are when we are with them.  Wow, this is true of Jesus - when He and I are close, I like who I am.  When we seem to be distant, I am a disaster."

"Suffering will try to separate you from Jesus.  You must not let it...  At the time you need Him most, you will feel most compelled to pull away from Jesus, or feel that He has pulled away from you. The ground heaves beneath you, shaking your faith in God because you thought it wouldn't come, shouldn't come.  It gets you scrambling; it can level you for a long time if you thought you'd escape it... Be very, very careful and pay attention to how you interpret your suffering... This is where the enemy can destroy you.  By all means, seek a breakthrough.  Pray against it; pray hard... Do not simply surrender."

(John Eldredge)

#brilliant

Calming Down

You know that scene in Princess Diaries where Paolo (the obnoxious hairdresser who thinks he should be applauded as a miracle-worker for making Anne Hathaway look pretty) is brushing Mia's curly hair and his hairbrush just gives up and breaks!?  That happened to me yesterday with my yellow WetBrush... the handle just snapped off as the brush was still in my hair. lol  It was the weirdest thing, and immediately made me laugh and think of that movie! :)  (Despite that story, the WetBrush is awesome and always painless regardless of how tangly your hair is... highly recommend it... going out to buy a new one soon! lol)

So anyway, I'm fighting myself not to send a snarky response email right now.  Somehow, receiving a generic rejection letter with a non-applicable list... and now a self-important and needlessly distant email from the program director about how it is "outside their protocol" to offer specifics to rejected applicants is not sitting well with me.  It's really amazing how the biting poetic sarcasm just floooows out of me when I'm this irritated.  I could write brilliantly snarky chic lit books if I let myself go there more often, but it's good that I don't.  It's always cathartic to write it, and pressing "send" is honestly pretty satisfying, but I know it's never a good idea in the long run to respond that way... especially when the other person/entity is already in the superior position because you wanted something in their power to give and they chose to withhold it, so no matter what you say, it feels like they're looking down at you from their pretentious throne, amused by your strong reaction.  Barf!  I was telling Laura this morning that when you've been rejected by as many people and places as I have, it all tends to jumble together in your mind and it's a messy thing to let that all go while holding on to your self-esteem, to write off what you wanted from them without writing off your heart's desires and numbing out for a while.  My worth and dignity come from God, and I will not live for the acceptance of people.  (Repeat x100.)  Still, sometimes you just want to force the other party to care and to see you as a real person with real value... but silence tends to be the best choice in the face of rejection, whether they ever care or not.  Huzzah for taking the high road; right?

So, Memory Monday:  Eight years ago today, I went to my first CLS party with some LifeGroup friends.  'Twas the day I met my former best friend, and that party turned out to be a belated surprise birthday party for her.  Ahh, memories.  Thankfully, I'm getting closer to the point where I can look back on the happy times without it feeling so bittersweet and sucky.  And I'm looking back at that stuff less and less, but Timehop faithfully reminds me of certain dates and memories.  Which is okay at this point.

"Never forget that time by itself does nothing to heal."  ~Beth Moore
True.  Time does not heal all wounds, but God can heal us when we turn to Him.

Okay, my urge to send the snarky email has passed, so I guess I'll delete it and get back to work now!  Yay for The Voice and Planet Fitness tonight!! =)  I'm trying to get back in the swing of things with working out... my cough is mostly gone, but the wheezing is still ridiculous at times.  At the very least, I want to walk several miles over these next two weeks to get ready for Disney and Universal!!! #getexcited #Floridatrip2015

Never ever ever give up!

"Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,

Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:

Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,

High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art."

~Be Thou My Vision

Well, it's been a while.  Not for the average blogger, but definitely longer than usual for me.  And for good reason... this week has been full of unexpected highs and lows.  Anyway, I'm going to do a quick bullet point list so I won't have to work to organize my thoughts. ;)  Oh, and the above hymn has little to do with this post - I just heard it recently and really liked that lyric.

• After two years of healing and growth and soul-searching and considering all the negatives and looking into a myriad of other possible options, I've come full circle and I'm back to counseling!
• I believe it's the degree I need to pursue right now, and it will open several doors for teaching and counseling and ministry...
• The post-graduation path will not be as defined as it was with court reporting, but there will be several good options, and God will guide me when I get there.
• Feeling confident and at peace about this decision is a BIG deal for me, so I've been pretty excited about that!
• I emailed SNU and took it as a great sign from God that they still had everything in my application folder that was started 2 years ago... so the only step I was missing was the interview, and I found out on Tuesday that their interviews were scheduled for Thursday night (for a program starting October 6th)!
• It all worked out perfectly - I even got a John Eldredge email about Isaiah 61 that morning, which included my theme verse for counseling in 2013.
• There were 17 of us, and they can admit up to 20.  Each student had to interview with two professors, and I was placed with the two that I felt most comfortable with.  I felt good and spoke with more confidence than usual and I finally had honest, good answers for their questions about what I would do with the degree and why I am interested in counseling.
• I felt so good about it all when I left that night... like the stars were aligning and God was working everything out and my life was finally lining up and I was right where I was supposed to be!  I had a blog post already written about it in my head.
• You can probably guess where this is going...
• I got the email Friday afternoon:  "Dear Ms. Muecke, We regret to inform you that you were not selected..."
• Seriously!?  Not the most devastating email rejection I've ever received, but it wasn't pretty.  With the emotional high I'd been riding on, I felt like an over-inflated balloon that finally reached the breaking point and popped and shriveled back down. :(
• They attached what had to be a form letter with six points that might help if I decided to reapply later, and only one of the six points applied to me at all.  I know this will sound arrogant, but as a graduate of their psychology undergrad program with a high GPA, strong writing skills, and recommendations from two of their best professors, I'm quite baffled by their decision.  Not even sad yet - just severely irritated!  Right when I thought I was entering new territory... Rejected again.  Feels good!
• I had dinner with Sarah that night at her apartment - I brought Pei Wei over and we watched shows on Netflix and talked about all of this - I was in a ranty mood, so it's probably good I wasn't with a big group!
• She said I can't take it personally or let it cause me to give up.  I get that it wasn't necessarily personal on SNU's end, but it was very personal to me. #kathleenkelly
• But I'm not giving up.  God knows what He's doing.  I took some time to pray and I feel better about it all today.  I still think counseling is the right path, and I will probably try Liberty next.
• IN OTHER NEWS, go see The Intern!  Really good movie, and Robert De Niro's character is precious and reminded me of my Grandad. :)
• Also, go see War Room!  But skip 90 Minutes in Heaven and Everest!!
• Friday night after our Pei Wei takeout, Sarah baked a recipe from a video she saw on facebook for monkey bread.  To say the least, it did not go well, but it helped to make me laugh and lighten my mood! lol
• It turned out half burned and half doughy, so she tried to pull it apart and cook it layer by layer, then some of the butter mixture burned and her whole kitchen and living room became a nice haze of smoke... we were both coughing and laughing, and she opened her door to try to fan the smoke outside! lol  (Picture #1 below)
• Another fun fact:  Sarah has Disney coloring books that she colors in while she watches TV, and I find that endearing and adorable and hilarious!  She also dates the pages when she colors them... I love it. (Pictures #2 and #3 below)
• Finally, last night, I made lasagna rolls, garlic bread, and peach cobbler!  Yay, me!! lol  It was all tasty, even if it's slightly ridiculous that I'm the only one here to eat it.  I needed a win, and a time-consuming distraction to keep my mind out of bad places.  And now I've learned a new recipe for next time I have someone over, so it was a win-win! :) (Picture #4 below)
• Thanks to Facebook reminding me about the Supermoon Lunar Eclipse "blood moon" tonight, I decided to get out and see it... so I threw on my Yale hoodie and went to Josh's to grab one last snocone for the season! :)  The moon thing is pretty cool!
• I always get annoyed when people act like they know when Jesus is coming back (there were several groups predicting this day because of tonight's moon) -- but I'd be overjoyed if they turned out to be correct! ;) #beammeup

Just in case you don't have enough details about my life, these were my 3 fortune cookie notes on Friday. lol  I'll just take it as more encouragement to "never ever ever give up!" #michaelscott #winstonchurchill ;)  You can't be known for strength and resilience without going through some crap and getting rejected a few times; right?  I know this isn't over, and I'm choosing to trust God here in the middle of my story!

And on a wiser note, this was a quote on Kelly's latest blog, and it's a great reminder, today and always:

"The secret is Christ in me, not me in a different set of circumstances."

~Elisabeth Elliot

That's all for now.  Happy Sunday!

Weekend Update!

A quick-ish life update:  My awesome mom came to Tulsa last Monday and Tuesday and helped me decorate for fall... Rach made a new wreath for me (love it - order your own HERE!) so Mom brought that, along with pretty flowers and candles and glittery pumpkins and all sorts of fall fun! lol  I really love the finished product - here's hoping I won't kill the mums!!  She also made strawberries and dip and fruity-pebble-rice-krispie treats since I was hosting Lifegroup on Tuesday, so that worked out really well! :)

Wednesday night, my FBC mentor, Kelly, came over and we talked about signing up for Fellowship's Biblical Counseling Impact class which starts next week! :)  I'm excited for that!

Then I went to Sarah Elizabeth's condo for a fun girls night with Sarah and Laura... Sarah made salad, garlic bread, and lasagna rolls (which were awesome) and I brought yellow cake with chocolate icing!  Also, how fun is her apron - I love it - I need to get one now that I cook occasionally - not because I'm messy, but because they just make you feel cute and fun!!  Anyway, we watched the new "Have courage and be kind" Cinderella (love it) -- and Sarah bought the Blue Ray DVD that also had a regular DVD with it, so she gave one to me! #awesomesauce

Sarah's potholder made me happy - she'll have to bring it to the Wilson gathering in November. :) And here's a pic of the lasagna rolls all done... cheesy goodness!

This one is from last Saturday - I signed up at the last minute for the individual simulcast, so I got to hang out in my PJs with my journal, some Kleenex, and Beth Moore from about 9 to 4 that day!  It was a fantastic message, and an encouragement to hold fast to God's Word in the midst of a culture that wants to downplay and ignore it!!

Last night was the wedding of Michael Wilson and Baylee Cakes! :)  It was a pretty day to be outside, I got to sit with the wedding party at dinner (where most of my friends were), and I got to do my favorite line dances plus two-step and shuffle with TK! :)  It was a really fun time, in spite of me arriving a little late and my shoes breaking on the dance floor. lol  Here are a few pics:

The wedding party chalkboard on the right. Then the bride and groom walking into the reception.  All the groomsmen during the wedding. And they used the globe as their guestbook, which was a cool idea, especially since they're going to be missionaries! They also had a Bible and asked people to highlight their favorite verse(s), which I liked!  (I went with Hebrews 6:19, in case you were curious. lol)

Michael and Baylee at their table at the reception.  Me and Kelly.  The flower table as we were cleaning up.  And a fun pic of Kelly and JEM, who loses all inhibition the moment the music starts playing! lol :)

Kelly and Karli with their flowers (we got to take them home after helping clean up). Chettles dancing whilst carrying the huge "Make your own s'mores" sign.  And JEM helping clean by pulling the little red wagon back into the barn - it was just too cute to not take a picture!

My sad boot after it broke - I'm thankful that I didn't hurt my ankle, and that it broke during a pop song when I was barely moving instead of a jumpy line dance!  It was late in the reception, thankfully, but I took off my boots and danced in my socks the rest of the night! lol  Bottom pic is the food table, and the right pic = Chet and Kevin belting out Whitney Houston's "I Wanna Dance with Somebody!" lol

Finally, here is a pic from one year ago today... (the seven of us at Jeff's house celebrating Kelly's 26th b-day a little early.)  I was so thankful to be there that night...

I remember very well that this was the day after I walked out of the "prayer ministry" that tried to convince me that I was indwelled by an "ancestral demon."  It was/is truly the craziest and most surreal thing I've ever been through -- seated across from three people who were waiting for something demonic to speak through me and answer their questions, and having a man look into my eyes with anger and seriously say, "You can let her blink so that she doesn't suffer, but if you break eye contact with me, I release the angels in this room to inflict pain on you."  I haven't written much about it here because of the strange nature of the entire thing, but I was in an extremely vulnerable position, and I am thankful that God gave me the wisdom to walk away and stay away.  I'm sad that it affected one friendship that I really cared about, but I don't have any regret over anything I did there.  The church associated with this ministry handled the situation very poorly in that they chose not to listen or address it at all, which was really difficult and frustrating for me as well.  I poured my heart out and was absolutely dismissed and unacknowledged, while the head of this ministry (who just happens to be a heavy tither there) continues to intimidate and deceive people, backed up by a major church.  I'm as certain as I've ever been that they are deceived and in the wrong here, but I've done my best to give it to God and to pray that he will open the eyes of those who lead and all who participate in and endorse this "ministry."

"Behold, the hour is coming, indeed it has come, when you will be scattered, each to his own home, and will leave me alone.  Yet I am NOT alone, for the Father is with me.  I have said these things to you that in Me you may have peace.  In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world."  ~Jesus, John 16:32-33

Sometimes those we are closest to fail or abandon us in our time of greatest need.  It happened to Jesus, and it happens to many of us.  It is easy to feel alone when something affects you very deeply and other people leave or just don't seem to care at all how you feel.  But regardless of what people do, we are NEVER alone, because God our Father is with us.  In the midst of knowing that His disciples were about to scatter and desert Him, Jesus spoke words of comfort to them, assuring them that troubles will come here on earth, but in Him, they could have peace and take heart!

"You will be scattered and will leave me alone. Yet I am not alone..."  
I love that perspective.  That church does not have to value or acknowledge me for me to feel validated here, because God is with me, working in me and through me.  And He will never leave me or abandon me!

"But if someone claims to be a prophet and does not acknowledge the truth about Jesus, that person is not from God... But you belong to God, my dear children. You have already won a victory over those people, because THE SPIRIT WHO LIVES IN YOU IS GREATER THAN THE SPIRIT WHO LIVES IN THE WORLD."  ~1 John 4:3-4

"We won't be tossed and blown about by every wind of new teaching. We will not be influenced when people try to trick us with lies so clever they sound like the truth. Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ!"  ~Ephesians 4:14-15 

Amen!  ...Sunday sermonette's over. ;)

Top 10 Tuesday ~ Pet Peeves

1. Desperate Vagueness... women seeking attention by vaguely mentioning a new subject, baiting you to ask them any question about it so that they can turn and say, "Oh, it's actually kind of secretive" or "I really can't talk about it yet."  Then by all means, DON'T BRING IT UP.  If you explain that you can't go into detail ahead of time, it's one thing, but I've experienced this several times where it's just transparent and insincere and manipulative. Barf. I've finally learned to see it coming and just nod along without asking a thing, which can be pretty fun! :)
2. The word "chuckle."  It will always make the list! lol
3. Fishing for Compliments - all the self-deprecating language in the world does not hide it when you think you're adorable and want the whole world to agree and tell you so! I know there can be real insecurities there, but it's still quite irritating when tiny girls publicly complain about their size.
4. Christians trying to "show the love of Christ" by distancing themselves from the unpopular truths of Scripture.  They go together - they always have!!
5. Miley Cyrus.  Just... everything about her.

6. Scary movie previews - it's my least favorite thing about this season.  I genuinely hate them, and I'm disturbed by how much they're able to show in the preview.  I always look down now.  (I used to try to hum to myself to drown out the noise, but it just made it that much creepier. lol)
7. People who "confuse" a deliberate sinful choice with "a mistake," which by definition is accidental.  Like men saying they "made a mistake" when they joined Ashley Madison and/or had an affair.  Umm, no.  To that, I must quote Rachel Green: "What were you trying to put it in? Her purse!?"
8. Condescending Cliche Advice - this one all depends on the relationship and the heart of the person - you know when someone genuinely cares about you vs. when they really don't know you or care to... and getting advice from the latter is pretty agonizing!
9. Entitlement... when people take advantage of kindness and generosity, treating a loan as if it were a gift.
10. The off-and-on disgusting smell of sewer gas that permeates through our 101-year-old courthouse building. #notokay  I spent part of yesterday googling how that can negatively affect your health.  Then again, maybe it's God's way of telling me to get out of here already! lol

*Bonus:  When people you haven't heard from in over a year suddenly act like they've been thinking about you and wanna hang out, then you find out - surprise - they've started a new home-based business --- as Chettles put it, "selling Plexarbonrodanoils or something!" --- and they want you to join their team or at least hear their happy sales pitch!  #manipulative #nothanks

That's all for now!  Happy Tuesday!!

Small Talking It Up

"...on the Barry Gibb Talk Show!" ;)  I think of that skit whenever I hear the words "talking it up!" lol  #crazycoolmedallions

I promise this will be my last personality-related post for a while.  :)
I got a bit cracked up when I read that my personality type is the most likely to struggle with making small talk... It's funny because it's sooo true!

"INFJs are Introverted – this is why they are usually self-sufficient, have little desire to make lots and lots of friends, prefer working with ideas rather than people, and don’t put a lot of emphasis on social skills. They are perfectly capable of honing their social skills and becoming experts in negotiation or small talk – however, these skills would be used out of necessity, not because they find them natural or exciting."

It had not really occurred to me that I could or should work to build that skill until yesterday.  I do hate small talk.  I feel like I'm no good at it, then that makes me feel stupid when I try.  It was perhaps my least favorite thing about being a receptionist at State Farm - I would listen to Rachael and some of the other girls who were so naturally comfortable and confident joking around with people they just met, and I'd feel like something was wrong with me.  Every topic in the world available, and I can't think of anything to say?  It made me think of Ross and Mike hanging out - I've had a couple hangouts that felt like that - it's truly awful.  Sometimes it also makes me think of Ross and Cassie, when he's feeling pressured and thinks to himself, "ANY words will do!  This is the longest anyone has not talked EVER!!"  lol

I don't like being fake, and it's hard for me to feign interest in subjects I've never cared about, and then sometimes it's just awkward.  I'm not good at being witty or clever when I have to think on my feet - which is why I often prefer writing to talking, and I hate the thought of giving any sort of impromptu speech or even playing charades. #noooo This is part of why I don't enjoy parties where there are several groups that have never met before all mixed together, and why I would never choose to host an event like that where I'm the only one who knows everyone and in charge of mass introductions.  I always put my headphones on when I'm on an airplane by myself.  I am very much okay with elevator silence with strangers, (although several people are obviously not).  And I'll talk for the first 5-10 minutes to not be rude, then I'll read a magazine or pretend to be asleep whenever I'm at the salon.  (Then eavesdrop on the conversations happening all around me, which is always entertaining! lol)

But I'm not a terrible or unfriendly person - I genuinely care about people, and I love listening to others' stories - light, deep, or in between. I want to be kind and make others feel important.  I'm just much better and more eloquent and in my element when I'm diving into a deeper conversation, but you can't exactly just jump right into that with total strangers. All of this may be part of why it came so naturally to me to try new LifeGroups, despite my quiet personality... I could always count on like-minded people and deeper conversations happening there, (which would open doors to keep discussing those topics rather than talking about sports or the weather when group was over), and I knew I would be able to spot authentic Christian people and eventually form friendships with them.  #soworthit  Once I get comfortable with someone, it all feels natural - I can easily think of a million questions, and the lighthearted conversation comes much easier.  But the beginning is always anxiety-inducing for people like me.

This lack of social skill is also why I need and love my extrovert friends!  They are great at taking the lead and making me laugh and feel really comfortable in conversation, then I'm able to breathe and listen and just enjoy getting to know them instead of feeling anxious and trying to think through what I need to say next.  It doesn't always have to be deep, by any means, nor do I ever mean to imply that I think extroverts are flitty and shallow - I think they are naturally good at starting and carrying on conversations on both ends of the spectrum, and I am always impressed by that!!

"INFJs share the combination of Intuitive and Feeling traits, feeling most comfortable in the world of ideas and principles as opposed to facts and strictly down-to-earth, practical matters. This is why they dislike small talk – it forces them to discuss topics that they are mostly unfamiliar with. Gossip, sports and various details of daily life (“Guess what I saw at the bus stop this morning…”) rarely interest people belonging to this type group – consequently, finding something to talk about can be a real challenge. INFJs are the ones most likely to be hindered by this – people with this personality type are Introverted, which means that they are used to being alone and engaging in self-reflection as opposed to relying on external connections... These traits can make it difficult for INFJs to engage in small talk and lead to awkwardness in social situations, especially if the other person is not willing to take the lead. In turn, the INFJ may often experience anxiety well in advance of a social event, knowing that it is likely to be a challenge."  #truth

Anyway, the e-book went on to say: "The ability to make small talk can be developed just like any other skill. INFJs are good at coming up with plans and ideas, and there is no reason why small talk should not be approached just like any other challenge...  The main purpose of small talk is to serve as a gateway leading to a deeper, more meaningful conversation. It also has other uses, such as getting a quick glimpse into another person’s personality and making them feel more important – so there are plenty of reasons why you should take time to develop this skill...

"There is no reason to think that there is something wrong with you if you simply have poor small talk skills – in all likelihood, you have spent just a tiny amount of time practicing them, when compared to nearly any extrovert. Of course you will be at a disadvantage. However, if you break this issue down into its basic building blocks and strategies, you will find that it is far less scary than it looks. Most people love talking about themselves, all they need is a little encouragement...

"Knowing all the tips and strategies in the world will not help if you start feeling fidgety and anxious the moment someone asks you a question. If you are feeling really uncomfortable in social situations, your true self-confidence will show, and this is what you need to work on...  the basic techniques will not really mean anything if your body language is screaming 'I am uncomfortable.' It is very important to work on the presentation of self-confidence as well, especially if you are actively trying to meet new people, e.g. a potential partner."

(www.16personalities.com)

Ugh, that last sentence makes me feel anxious just reading it! lol  But I am determined to work on my confidence and being better at making small talk when meeting new people.  Laura is our secretary-bailiff here and she's always great at talking to the random people and attorneys that come in (whilst I sit in my office blogging with my headphones on, thanking God that I don't have to deal with all that).  I remember telling her I was impressed with her ability to talk with everyone, and her saying that her motto is "Assume familiarity."  I really like that!  Be comfortable and casual and talk to them like they're a friend, then the other person is more likely to feel that way, too.  My motto is more like "Assume stranger danger" or "Silence is golden." lol  But I'm gonna work on that and get more comfortable with it.  I'm not necessarily seeking out more close friends (which is another reason I haven't attempted to work on this before) - but in pretty much any profession that is not court reporting, it will be a major asset, and as they said, a gateway to more meaningful conversation.  That would be especially important to help people feel more comfortable and relaxed before diving into the big stuff in a counseling setting.  So I can get on board with that! :)

Mmkay, that's all for this topic, and now it's time for me to get back to real work.  #lame  And to writing (I'm about 5,000 words behind, but overall, doing pretty well and should be able to make my 30,000 words in 30 days goal!)  Thanks for reading, friends!

Hope you have a fantastic Friday!! =)

Wonderfully Complex!

“O  Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I’m far away… You go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand… Thank You for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous - how well I know it… You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in Your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. How precious are Your thoughts about me, O God.”  

~Excerpts from Psalm 139

Well, I was close but mistaken in thinking I was an ISFJ... after taking two free personality tests yesterday, paying for the 160-page extended results e-book, then spending most of last night and this afternoon reading it and taking 20 pages of notes #notexaggerating, I have confirmed that I am definitely (still) an INFJ!!

My personality type is titled "The Confidant" or "The Advocate," depending which test you use.  

*Sidenote: I love that each of the 16 types reflects a different facet of the Trinity - we are all made in the image of an awesome God who is an Adventurer, Explorer, Giver, Artist, Defender, Advocate, Confidant, Architect, Supporter, etc.

Also... wow, I had forgotten how much this stuff fascinates me!  In my case, it is on point and oddly comforting and uniquely helpful!  I really do understand if you don't feel the same way and prefer to skip this post, but for anyone interested, here are some statements from my results that I found amusing:

• INFJs tend to see helping others as their purpose in life, but their real passion is to get to the heart of the issue.  #true #myblogtitle
• Though soft-spoken, they have very strong opinions and will fight tirelessly for an idea they believe in.  #yes
• Strengths:  Creative, Insightful, Convincing, Determined, Passionate, Altruistic
• Weaknesses:  Sensitive, Perfectionistic, Always Need to Have a Cause, Can Burn Out Easily
• Spend far more time engaging in various internal discussions than observing concrete things around them.  (True - I'm ridiculously unobservant about certain things and have no directional sense, but personal stuff fascinates me, and I remember dates and names and stories most would tend to forget.)
• They seek out people who share their desire for authenticity, and go out of their way to avoid those who don’t. INFJs should be careful not to put their friends on an imaginary pedestal. #yaaaas
• If their self-esteem is weak... their intense need to connect may allow others to victimize them. INFJs must learn to apply the same compassion they have for others to the person they see in the mirror. (Thankfully, it's getting stronger!)
• Inclination to grow and to discover who they are. It will feel quite natural to INFJs to go on deliberate journeys of self-discovery. INFJs can restore their self-confidence by simply being who they are and doing what they do.  :)
• Very dedicated and strong-willed; develop deep emotional attachments. Giving up and letting go is a tremendous challenge for INFJs.  #yathink!?
• Romantic relationships with INFJs are not for the uncommitted or the shallow.  #preach
• They see their relationships as eternal, unbreakable bonds, throwing everything they have at making their partner happy. #andbestfriendships
• It is very unlikely that an INFJ’s child will ever say that they did not have enough emotional support growing up.  #truth lol
• They like and need a good amount of time to deliberate before they present an idea or argument. #lifechurch
• They are perfectionists who do whatever it takes to embrace high standards – usually of their own creation.  All bets are off if they can’t connect personally to the subject. The bigger picture always takes priority, and putting a lot of labor into what they see as mundane or unimportant seems like a senseless act. #geometry
• Quality trumps quantity every time, and over the years, they will likely end up with just a few true friendships.  #yesplease #thankful
• Likely the rarest personality type, their uniqueness is not always appreciated... Feeling apart and misunderstood can be quite depressing for some INFJs. #formerlytrue
• Can be quite talkative and eloquent, sometimes giving the impression that they are a lot more Extraverted than they really are. This contradiction can be confusing to others.
• Many INFJs struggle to begin a career because they see ten wildly different paths forward, each with its own intrinsic rewards, alluring but also heartbreaking, because each means abandoning so much else. #currentlytrue
• They need to find meaning in their work, to know that they are helping and connecting with people -- roles as counselors, psychologists, doctors, life coaches and spiritual guides are all attractive options. 
• They crave creativity too, the ability to use their insight to connect events and situations, effecting real change... They need work that has “soul."  It’s essential that their work feels purposeful and creative, so repetitious tasks are very unlikely to appeal to INFJs.  #yep
• They often pursue expressive careers such as writing, elegant communicators that they are, and author many popular blogs, stories and screenplays. #hoorayforblogging
• Music, photography, design and art are viable options too, and they all can focus on deeper themes of personal growth, morality and spirituality.
• They fall flat in work focusing on impersonal concerns, mundanity, and high-profile conflict... They will simply wilt under the scrutiny, criticism and pressure of courtroom prosecution and defense, corporate politics, and cold-call sales. :(
• People with this personality type tend to do very well in supporting roles, but they should seek something more – INFJs tend to avoid career paths requiring a great degree of independence, but this is often the only way to further professional goals. 
• Jobs that are perfectly suitable for 80%+ of the population would likely frustrate and exhaust most INFJs very quickly.
• Despite their aversion to controlling others, they are likely to establish their independence by either finding a leadership position, or simply starting their own practice.... free to follow their hearts, applying their personal touch, creativity, and altruism to everything they do.
• Do not ever think that the gnawing feeling that you are in the wrong place will pass, if all arguments point to the fact that a particular role is unsuitable for you.
• Decisive and able to keep a cool head in critical situations, but far more comfortable when they have enough time to assess the situation and make an informed decision.
• Pretty tall demands when it comes to a satisfying work environment. Not only does this personality type need to be able to express their creativity and insight, INFJs need to know that what they are doing has meaning, helps people, leads to personal growth and, all the while, is in line with their values, principles and beliefs. #mmhmm
• It is no wonder that many Advocates, surrounded by so many people who are so unlike them, begin to feel lost. Some struggle for much of their lives, trying to be something they’re not...  #sadness #nomore
• Some Potential Careers: Counselor, Psychologist, Social Worker, Nurse, Physician, Religious Educator, Adult Education, Elementary or High School Teacher, Human Resources, Recruiter, Journalist, Writer. #seriously #allonmylist
• Famous INFJs:  Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela, Nicole Kidman #yay
• Regardless of all their weak points, people with this personality type often say that they would not change one thing about themselves. Not a single INFJ stated that they would like to change something radical, in stark contrast with other personality types. INFJs know they are not perfect, but they are very good at drawing upon their inner strength and imagination.  #lovethis

Okay, that's enough about me. lol  I'm thankful for God's timing with this, as I have been hoping that the gnawing feeling would pass eventually.  I know that someday, having a family will be a wonderful cause for me to devote my heart to, but for now, I need to choose a job that will help me come alive rather than "wilt!"  It was helpful and fun for me to read through all this, but my personality type is the most likely to enjoy this kind of self-discovery stuff and learning about the patterns and connections with others.  Either way, I would recommend taking the test and at least reading through all the free stuff they offer! :)

WWW ~ Minions Edition

Not exactly "wise" words, but these all made me laugh, so I figured I'd do a quick post with them:

#truth

(Haha, I totally do that!)

Yup.

^^This one made me think of Rach, who does this often! lol

And now, four Labor Day pics!  After sleeping in and going to Planet Fitness, I met Tiffany for lunch at The Brook then we shopped around at Utica Square.  Here we are trying on cute hats at Anthropologie! :)

Then I met the gang for a fun and tasty dinner at the new Slim Chickens restaurant in Broken Arrow. (Minus LB, TK, and Sarah) ...so it was me & the 3 couples, but that's not awkward at all with this group, and I'm glad for that!! :)

JEM excited about our CherryBerry ("Sherry-Berry") dessert run!

And here's Chettles giving it a thumbs down. lol #notafan

We ate our dessert at a round table outside and talked about our Myers-Briggs personality types, which is always a subject I enjoy!  They give each type a title, and Kelly and I are "The Defenders," JEM and Michael are "The Givers," Chet Lee is "The Campaigner," and Evan is "The Architect." lol  Seems appropriate. :)

Happy Wednesday, friends!!

Photo Update & Fun Quotes!

The last couple weeks have been a lot of fun, other than still feeling a little sick with this bronchitis cough and congestion.  In an effort to narrow down the pictures in my cell phone, here is a photo-filled update on The Life and Times of Lindsey Claire! :)

Lauralai came with me to try out Planet Fitness... we did some cardio and then tried out the Abs Circuit room...

Followed by a massage chair and HydroMassage, both of which elicited some entertaining reactions! lol

This was taken from my office... a Sapulpa Police Officer was killed in Midwest City, so the flags at the courthouse have been at half mast for a while. :(

Random transition, but this = my favorite cake ever, the Ribbon Cake from Nikkellette's Cafe in OKC.  A layer of chocolate, a layer of banana cream, and a layer of white covered in whipped cream, chocolate syrup, and strawberries!  #yummers

"This is a trophy I made for Mamaw!"  ~Jaceman :)

Jaceman trimming the bushes. lol

Me and Missy K!

They love spinning around and around to this one song from Big Hero 6... then they get dizzy and knock each other down! lol

Rach and K-Faith at Mom and Dad's new house (in the process of being built).

Josh helping Jace climb up to get in the tractor.

So big! :)

Rach and I went to Kinkos to make laminated copies of this (a quote by Pastor Craig that Rach wrote out creatively)... watching her interacting with the arrogant salesman with no sense of humor was quite entertaining!

The Parrish fam!

Tara Lynn making breakfast for us after our morning walk outside last Saturday!

The food was really good, but I had been feeling nauseous earlier that day, and right in the middle of breakfast, had to run to the bathroom to throw up... so that was awkward! lol  
(...I blame it on her offering me a healthy glass of kraut juice that looked disturbing and smelled even worse. lol  #nothankyou)

Jaceman building a tall tower from the ribbon Mom and Rach were using for Rach's wreaths! lol

My four happy roses in the blue Mason jar from Jeff (from Chet's 25th bday party), plus my prayer journal (starting that back up after watching War Room) and homework from Kelly (an FBC mentor, thanks to Chet's persistence). =)

Girls dinner at Zio's to celebrate Mindi's birthday!!  She introduced Melissa (on her left) as "a friend from my divorce church" and then introduced me as "a friend from her cancer church!" lol

Kristin, me, and Mindi! =)

I was getting sick of the brassy blonde and the upkeep involved, so I went to Ulta and went back to my natural color... I'm loving it! :)  #yayfall

Sarah and I were discussing our New Year's resolutions (we're both determined to make this happen in the last four months of the year - lol) and one of hers was reading 6 nonfiction books, so I gathered these for her to try. #letsdothis

We had a "Memorialable Labor Day Weekend" road trip yesterday! lol 

We met at my house then Chet drove my car... it was Chet, Karli, Kyle, Sarah, and me. =)  Chet brought his CD of Sarah's OBI "Overcomer's Choir" to surprise her, which was pretty funny - she knew it right off the bat!  And I think she was more surprised that he'd listened to it enough to know all the songs! lol

Our first stop = a side trip to Pops!

Chet and Sarah with Bacon Lollipops! lol 

Chet and TK with their cherry limeade icees!

Our group with some of their strangest pop options... Buffalo Wing Soda, Ranch Dressing Soda, Maple Bacon Soda, etc.

The girls...

And the guys!

Fun selfie of our group at the lunch table!  (Kyle bought everyone's lunch at Pops, Mom made us fruity pebble rice krispie treats + strawberries and dip for swimming, my Dad bought everyone's dinner at Ted's, and Chet bought everyone's dessert at BJ's  -- YAY!!)

The Wilsons drip drying under the OU tent after swimming!

Sarah, me, and TK by the waterfall at JoBug's pool!

Waiting for our table at Ted's!

Me and Missy K again!

Carter took this one of Josh!

All the kids love the iPhone!  The other day, Jace asked if I had a certain kids app on my phone. I assured him I did not, and he said, "Let me just see your phone," then proceeded to FIND IT ON THE APP STORE.  What is even happening!? He is 3. lol  #outofcontrol And no, I didn't buy it.

 Could she be any cuter!?

The Jaceman and Sarah Elizabeth! :)

Whilst Mom was chatting it up with Tall Kyle, Kyndal Faith was slightly obsessed with Chet! lol  She called him about 5,000 times wanting him to watch everything she did.  Josh told her to give Chet a break and call Momma instead... so she said, "Momma!  Momma!" then as soon as Rach looked at her, pointed across the table and said... "CHET!" lol

Warm Oreo Pizookie with Ice Cream and cookies and cream whipped cream at BJ's!! #awesomesauce  Me and Sarah shared one and Chet and Karli shared one...

TK is only eating one dessert a month, so he got his own -- half Oreo and half Chocolate Chunk!

  

Group pic at BJ's... cheers-ing with our milk! lol

Road Trip Quotables:

"Yeah, I was even early.  Not, like, desperate early!"  ~Sarah telling a first date story

"Oh, I don't have anything to hide." ~TK, when Sarah said she didn't wanna go through his bag to find the gum

Chet skipped down my hallway imitating Jeff at the gym:
"What are those called? Lunges?" ~JEM
"Umm, that would be skipping." ~Chettles

"You are asking for bunionettes if you do that!" ~Chet, when I talked about getting Keds for the Disney trip! lol

"I write down a smiley face on good workout days, and a sad face when you're mean!"  ~JEM to Chet (about the gym diary he keeps, all of which cracks me up!)

"I so appreciate that you can see through fakeness."  ~Me to Chet
"You know, I may not have certain gifts..."  ~Chet Lee
"Oh, here we go!"  ~Sarah lol
"But I feel like God has given me discernment to know when people are being fake..." ~Chet
"Yeah, I think I have that too, but I don't blame it on God."  ~Sarah
"I don't think he was blaming Him - Chet thinks he's blessed!"  ~TK, laughing at Sarah's comment

"Not everything's about you, Chet!" ~Sarah

"Well, first off, that's part of my personality."  ~Chet 

"Encourage me!!"  ~JeffEd whilst working out with Chet

"Actually, I have talked about nodes quite a bit in my life!" ~Chet Lee

"Sometimes super quiet people make me nervous." ~Sarah

"Hey, there's nothing wrong with being quiet." ~TK :) 

"Kyle's a keeper!"  ~JoBug after talking to him a bit

"This is just nodes central!"  ~Chet, listening to Thirst by Phil Wickham

"Let's go with 'nodules' because 'polyps' is one of the most disgusting words ever. Right next to 'discharge!'"  ~Chettles, after Sarah read the definition of nodes - lol