Presence (Quotes)

"When you are not present, people can tell. When you are, people respond... Presence isn't about pretending to be competent; it's about believing in and revealing the abilities you truly have... Sometimes you have to get out of the way of yourself so you can be yourself."

"Focus less on the impression you're making on others and more on the impression you're making on yourself."

"People feel the least present when they don't feel seen... the more that people don't acknowledge you, the more you feel you don't exist. Conversely, you are the most present when you are the most seen... then people are always corroborating your sense of self." (~Julianne Moore)

"Feeling powerless undermines our ability to trust ourselves. And if we cannot trust ourselves, we cannot build trust with others... Whether we feel powerful or powerless has huge consequences in our lives."

"When we are feeling powerless, in virtually every way that we can, we make ourselves smaller. Rather than take up more space, we take up less - through our postures, our gestures, our walking, and even our voices. We shorten, slouch, collapse, and we restrict our body language. And when other people watch us doing those things, they can't help but see us as powerless and frightened."

"When you see your daughters, sisters, and female friends begin to collapse in on themselves, intervene. Show them examples of girls and women in triumphant postures, moving with a sense of power, speaking with authentic pride... We don't need to tell women to be like men. But we do need to encourage girls not to be afraid to express their personal power. Let's stop thinking about powerful postures as masculine and powerless postures as feminine."

"We want power to, not power over. We want to look confident and relaxed, not as though we're trying our best to dominate. The goal is intimacy, not intimidation."

"Good posture increases our sense of 'being energized,' making it easier to do things in general... powerless, closed postures not only undermine persistence, they also increase learned helplessness - the process whereby people avoid challenges they've previously struggled with, assuming they are not capable of effectively handling them."

"When we feel insecure and distracted, we rush, fearful that we're taking too much time, and we seem eager to escape... If you feel yourself beginning to collapse, fight it. Pull your shoulders back, unfurl, and power up."

"When our body language is confident and open, other people respond in kind, unconsciously reinforcing not only their perception of us but also our perception of ourselves."

"As I said at the beginning, this book is about moments. It's about being present in the moments that most challenge us. It's also about trusting that those moments build upon themselves as we nudge ourselves forward, reinforcing our thinking, feelings, and physiology. Ultimately these moments can change our lives. The most commonly quoted line from my TED talk is 'Don't fake it till you make it, fake it till you become it.' That's what this is about - incrementally nudging yourself to become the best version of yourself."

~Presence, Amy Cuddy