Hope in the Dark

I love it when I see evidence of God's timing. I see this often with the books I have read... sometimes I read something just before an unexpected crisis, and God uses it to help prepare my heart (reading Eldredge books just before the letter, the email, etc.).  This time, I began reading Craig's latest book when all was well toward the end of February, and I finished it today at the end of a month that has been much more difficult.

*I am not in a particularly "dark" place in my soul or spirit right now, but I certainly know that feeling.  And all that is happening with Grandad has brought up some painful emotions and questions, so once again, this was well-timed reading material.  

Craig talks about Habakkuk's story and what it means to embrace God and wrestle with hard questions at the same time... to walk with faith that trusts God's character even when we don't understand His plan.

He quoted Elisabeth Elliot here, and this one spoke to me:
"Our vision is so limited we can hardly imagine a love that does not show itself in protection from suffering.  The love of God did not protect His own Son."

It does *feel* cold and unloving to us when someone strong enough to protect us from suffering chooses not to... but God has eternal purposes in mind that we cannot fully see or understand.  We see that play out over and over in the Bible, but when you're in the middle of it, it doesn't make as much sense.  It is an exercise in faith to trust Him in those times.
(Side note:  I've been thinking a lot lately about how watching someone you love suffering is sometimes harder than suffering yourself... and that deepens my perspective on God the Father's sacrifice in sending Christ to die for us.)

A few other favorite quotes from this book:

• "We're terrified that if we admit how we're truly feeling, then our faith will crack. But the opposite is true. It's when we suppress the pain of what we're experiencing, stuffing it down and denying it, that our faith becomes so hard and brittle that it breaks."
• "I agree with C.S. Lewis that God's highest agenda is not our immediate happiness.  I believe that God is much more committed to our eternal joy, our spiritual growth, and the condition of our hearts."
• "Honest questions, sincere doubts, and deep hurts can draw you closer to God than you've ever been before... God honors those seekers who sincerely look for the truth."
• "Part of every believer's maturity involves waiting on God and waiting for His promises to be fulfilled."
• "Your faith is far more precious than mere gold..." ~1 Peter 1:7
• "Acceptance is not denial... you don't simply stuff your feelings down... you keep praying... but you don't pretend that everything is okay when clearly it's not."

Finally, I read this toward the end of the book today:

"If you don't even know where you're going, what's the point of continuing to press forward?  Without hope, it's hard to get out of the valley and stay out."

I've been thinking about that one.  My eternal hope is firm and secure.  It is rock solid - I know where I am headed, and I think about heaven and the Kingdom of Christ and look forward to it on a regular basis!  It is a hope that sustains me and comforts me because I know it will not be disappointed. ❤

Earthly hope (personal hope for things in this life) is more difficult for me, and the above quote helps explain why... because I don't know.  I don't know God's entire plan -- what relational or medical crises might await me... what might propel me forward or cause me grief or sideline me physically at any given time -- only God truly knows what is in store.  I tend to think very big picture and sometimes struggle to understand "the point of continuing to press forward" with short-term dreams and goals.   I don't want to fall for toxic theology or stand on a promise I have not been given by God, so my earthly hopes can feel fragile and hollow.  I'm going to pray about that and wrestle with it as I continue to embrace my eternal hope through Christ!  ...I believe God doesn't want me to live stuck in the valley, and I trust that He will walk with me and lead me out of it.

This verse will always be one of my favorites, so I'll end with this today:
"Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely." 
~1 Cor. 13:12