Sooo, like, you know...

I've been listening to The Holderness Family Podcast lately.  Penn and Kim are both likable and entertaining.  And they cover several interesting, relatable topics.  In one episode, they had a guest who discussed the importance of communicating clearly and eliminating "vocal graffiti."

Anyway, okay, so, like, you know, I'm just saying, umm, definitely, sort of, actually, I mean, basically, literally, honestly, whatever, right...

She mentions all those words and more, emphasizing that we need to slow down and allow a silent pause to gather our thoughts... rather than constantly filling all silence with "umm" and "so" and other unnecessary words.

What I found most interesting was that women are more likely to use filler words that weaken and water down our point, the same way we are more likely to over-apologize when there is nothing to be sorry about.  
We might say:  "I just want to kind of walk you through our process here."
Rather than: "I want to walk you through our process here."

When we do that, we come across more timid and insecure, less firm and confident.  I know I do this.  Especially when I am nervous, I can feel myself qualifying sentences with "honestly" and "maybe" and repeatedly saying "like" and "umm."  Kim asked their guest if there was any harm in using those little filler words, and she told them there is not... unless you want people to listen closely and take you seriously.  Ouch!  

This is something I want to work on and improve in my daily speech and in my writing.  To speak with clarity and conviction that encourages people to listen and connect.  To write in a way that compels readers to engage and pay attention.  To respect myself and the point I am making enough to communicate clearly and command respect from others!