All of my emotions feel *heightened* right now - I'm more reactive than usual, incredibly sensitive to the emotions of others, more aware of the pains and irritations in life, but also more aware of the joys and the love and beauty surrounding me. When I feel like this, it helps to write, so here I am.
I found myself thinking about this quote on my drive back to Tulsa yesterday, and it remains one of the most helpful things I have ever read:
"When our souls feel crushed and overwhelmed, we believe ourselves to be tired of life; but it is death, not life, that wearies us. In all our troubles, let us remember that what we lack is life – what we need is more life, more of God’s powerful presence in us that makes us more alive and whole! When we feel broken and tired of life, let us recognize that it is actually the presence of death in this world that we are tired of. When we feel most inclined to give up, let us rouse ourselves to live. Of all things, let us avoid the false refuge of a weary collapse, a hopeless yielding to things as they are. The dissatisfied ache we experience is caused by the life of God in us is crying out for more life (more beauty, freedom, restoration, love, and healing). We are victorious when, in the midst of our pain and weakness, we cry out -- not for death or numbness – but for the strength to fight; for more power, more understanding, more of God in us!" ~George MacDonald (paraphrased)
The line "we believe ourselves to be tired of life, but it is death, not life, that wearies us" is fantastic. It sucks to see people you love suffering, to watch them struggling and feeling helpless, to be unable to fix it yourself. "What we need is more life, more of God's powerful presence in us that makes us more alive and whole." Also true. ❤
The hope of full restoration in heaven is the only hope strong enough to anchor our souls. Mom and I have been talking about that and about trusting that God sees the bigger picture and has a purpose in the things we do not understand. All authority on heaven and earth belongs to Jesus. His thoughts are higher than ours, and He knows what He is doing.
^^This is one of my favorite verses. Mom and I spent several frustrating hours putting that canvas together a couple years back. The full verse reads: "Even to your old age and gray hairs I am He, I am He who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you." ~Isaiah 46:4
A comforting promise.
The Avalon song "Knocking on Heaven's Door" came up on my playlist today. They repeat these words over and over at the end: "Whisper what you're feeling. Shout it at the ceiling! Nothing's gonna fall on deaf ears. Ask Him for His mercy. Pray away your worries! What do you want heaven to hear?" I have been reminded several times to turn to God in prayer when I feel anxious or overwhelmed. Sometimes we feel pretty confident and in control of things, but it only takes one crisis to remind us that we are not in control. The good news is that God sees what is happening with Grandad (or with you or whoever you love that is hurting). He knows and He cares about how it is affecting every person involved. God is loving and faithful and worthy of our trust. We don't know what the future holds, and that can be daunting and scary. But we can draw near to God and find peace in His presence! ❤
"Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord!" ~Psalm 31:24
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