Personal Responsibility

"If you don't think you're worthy of love, if you don't think your love is valuable, you're wrong... and that's on me.  When you most needed help trying to make sense of life or loss or love, I wasn't there.  So put that on me... and move forward."  ~Amelia's mom

"What if I can't?"  ~Amelia

"Well... then that's on you."  ~Her mom 

I loved that conversation!  

I have some former friends who could say that to me word for word - an unlikely event, but my heart still can dream.  I like that her mom acknowledged her own failure to be there when it mattered most - hurting people hurt people, and she is telling Amelia that her failure to love her was due to her own personal issues, not to Amelia being an unlovable or an insignificant or toxic person.  She takes responsibility for her actions and the pain she caused, then she encourages her daughter to move on and be healthy and value herself.  

Amelia asks what if she can't move on, and I was nodding along when she said, "Well, then that's on you."  Whether we get the apology or not, whether the other party ever accepts any blame, we are all 100% responsible for what we do after someone we love fails us and causes pain and damage.  My life, my reactions, and my decisions are my responsibility.  It is "on me" to fight for my healing and wholeness, to live the healthiest life possible!  And it is on you to fight for yourself and believe you are worthy of love and that your love is valuable... God thinks so, and I would much rather agree with Him than the people who deemed me irreparable and worthy of discarding.

*Side note:  Grey's Anatomy has been on point lately... from this amazing episode on rape and sexual assault (HERE) to this one on getting past family dysfunction and old labels (HERE). 

That's all for now.  Happy Monday!