"The devil tries so hard to get Christians to be religious. If he can sink a man's mind into habit, he can prevent his heart from engaging God." -Donald Miller
Victories, Big and Small:
I survived it all (and kept my grades up)
Hired a new proofreader (maybe my best decision this month - took so much stress off of me)
Wrote the obituary and spoke at Babah's Graveside and Memorial Service
Partial Successes/Areas for Improvement:
Planning to get back to regular morning workouts in October
Praying for restored clarity and coming out of the brain-fog
Memories:
Emily's Baby Shower at Gaillardia
Jaceman "sacking the quarterback" in two football games
Fun at the OSU game with Dad and Kyndal Faith
Kyndal's volleyball games + Club tryouts
T-man getting his license and a new job with Chick-Fil-A
Holly Dei coming to visit us & catching up with her and Megan
Babah's decline, hospice, death, and memorial service
Mama Roja's dinner with Triston
Holding Jace's beloved gecko
The Wilsons' Labor Day pool party!
September Memories:
Listened To:
Zero audiobooks (first time in a while)
The usual podcasts + catching up on older Big Boo Podcasts
Lessons Learned:
From personal experience - I'm better at taking care of others in hard times than I am at taking care of myself
From John Eldredge - Cultivating a close union with God is necessary to thrive in this hour - we are in "the great falling away" where millions of Christians in the US are choosing to leave the faith, and we have to be intentional about drawing near
I'm thankful for God's grace through it all, but not at all sad to see this particular month ending. Happy October tomorrow, friends!
My final post for today - huzzah!! What a gift to have a bit of downtime at work today! Granted, I could be scoping a transcript or working on my group project for school, but I filed five transcripts this morning, so I'm choosing this much-needed outlet for this afternoon, and I'll get back to the other stuff tomorrow!
The Mini Miss K and her volleyball team (coached by Rachael) placed 2nd in their Premier league! It was exciting times to be there for the final games!
My eyes are looking extra-tired these last couple weeks, but the shower and the funeral are behind us now, and I'm praying for restoration and renewal for all of us! This cup is always a good reminder for me...
Actions matter more than intentions - always true. Grace for ourselves in overwhelming seasons also matters, so I'm going with that instead of giving into perfectionisty pressure today!
Every. freaking. time. lol "I hate so much about the things you choose to be."
This absurdity has been a bright spot for me this week... lol The memes, the songs, the Tik Toks, etc. Yay for the Swiftie effect! (And yes, I'm following him on Instagram now too, and laughed when I saw Tiffany on there, as well.)
This put that song in my head for sure! ❤
The memes about her finally finding a real man are also entertaining!
A meme from Meghan's eating disorder clinic... I like it!
Speaking of, Mom and I split a slice of oreo cheesecake after all our work at The Veraden on Saturday, and it was pretty awesome!
Jaceman and his friends went to sing Happy Birthday to Mrs. Gentry (their preschool teacher from a few years back). I love her (she's a FB friend and a fellow Friends fan)... and I love that Jace tried to talk other boys into joining them, but decided to go with them even though none of the others would come along! I'm certain Mrs. Gentry appreciated it!! The fact that he's taller than her already makes me laugh. =)
Several of Babah's friends from The Veraden came to the service, and one of them was holding her hat from their Kentucky Derby party. ❤
One more strange-but-cathartic thing you might judge me for (but I don't have the strength or energy to care much right now)... David got lost on the way to the cemetery (they drove all the way to Edmond then back to MWC), so in that 15 minutes while we were waiting on them and I was already standing positioned near the casket, I took that extra time to do something I'd been thinking about the day before. Of all the things Babah ever said, one comment in particular really stung and stuck with me (something I overheard that was not said directly to me). So I tore off a scrap of paper from what I had in my purse, and I wrote down those exact words... followed by "This dies with her. I love and forgive you, Babah" and I went behind the casket and dropped it into the hole they had ready, buried six feet under. Between that and leading the graveside service and speaking at the memorial, it was kind of a monumental day for me. So just thought I would share that here too.
The presh Wilson kids at Lake Hefner this afternoon... after attending a Memorial Service for Melissa's Aunt Alma. ❤
Miss Kyndal Faith tried out for Club Volleyball (a higher-level team that travels for competitions) and she did great and made the team!! I loved her shirt and had to get a picture with her fierce little self! She also was the first to come right over and tell me I did a great job and double high-five me after my graveside speech. lol
It was fun sitting with Rach and chatting through the try-outs!
Whew, that's all I've got for you today. Now I'm off to dinner with Holly and Megan, then Holly and I will meet the fam for Jace's 8pm football game! Life is moving at warp speed lately, but I'm feeling more grace from God in the midst of it all. This week has been a good reminder to focus on what matters most, connecting with and honoring Jesus and the people we love!! ❤
Final post on this subject - I divided them so it wouldn't be so absurdly long.
JoBug introducing me to her teacher friends: "This is my niece, Lindsey. She's done everything in planning for mother's funeral. In fact, she's already started to plan for my funeral now too!" lol Mess. She has told me several times to go ahead and start working on her obituary.
Wearing my heart-shaped sparkly earrings from Babah (they were hers first). ❤
Tuesday at noon was the Graveside service at the Arlington Memory Gardens cemetery. Smiley graveside pics always feel awkward, but here we are. lol
The Fab Five (cousins): Audie, Mom, Bryce, JoBug, and Bill
The four grandkids. ❤
Pallbearers were Bryce, Bill, Audie, Gene, Blake, Triston, and Carter (Babah's four nephews, grandson, and two great-grandsons)
The girls with our roses after Grandad's funeral in 2019 and after Babah's in 2023 ❤
*Edited to add a couple pics from Mom's phone, then a couple pics Gene sent us:
The Fam ❤
The small-ish crowd -- they were all a blur to me the couple times I looked up. I made eye contact once with Mom and once with JB and Rach, and I didn't try for any more than that as I was afraid to lose my place in reading.
The only pic I have of me at the graveside, and I look oddly happy - I think she took both of these while Mom was calling David to give him directions while everyone else was seated and ready, so I was kinda laughing about that... but anyway, I'm still thankful to have the photo!
Pastor Wesley Robertson (Babah's Chaplain at the Veraden) led the Memorial Service.
JoBug asked me to read the middle part (page 2 of 3) of my graveside speech again for the larger crowd there, so I did. I don't get very nervous when I'm able to just read. =)
They had a theater room that was great for the slideshow, but there were only 38 chairs so several people had to stand the entire time, and it was verrrry warm in there. Not ideal, but it worked.
I was touched and grateful to see that Virginia, Randi Kaye, and Christy all showed up for the viewing and the memorial service (they were exceptional friends to her, but had been estranged for the past couple years). Also grateful to see the DeBusk brothers, David and his wife, James, Rick, Bill & Jill, Bill & Debbie, Charlene, Nancy, Georgia & Alan, and several of JoBug's teacher friends we had met at Emily's shower.
And after all of that, the fam met for an early dinner at Gaillardia... (build-your-own fajitas and taco salad + chicken enchiladas + chips and queso + churros... yum!) Jace didn't realize that was a private event and had invited everyone he talked to at the service, but they were smart enough not to come. lol It was a good chance to catch up with Carter Lee and hear about his latest rodeo events and football stuff!
An awesome gift from David for Mom
Me with the niece and nephews! =)
And now, a complete transcript of my graveside eulogy, minus the obituary, which is already posted in another blog... around 11:30 pm the night before, I realized that the obituary and verse would only take me about six minutes to read, which felt exceptionally short. I also realized this was really my last chance to honor my grandparents' legacy among a group of people who knew and loved them, so I looked through old blog tributes and put together the following:
Hey, friends and family. Thank you so much for being here with us today. I'm going to start by reading her obituary... (HERE).
* * * * *
I’m confident that the four of us consider ourselves very blessed to have grown up with such wonderful grandparents who loved us and were actively involved in our lives. They babysat regularly, baked cookies and let us eat the cookie dough, helped out with our school projects, attended our programs and events and recitals, and took us all on several fantastic vacations!
I have some wonderful childhood memories with Babah, from decorating “smiley-face cakes” to eating butterscotch pudding by the pool to picking out fabric and “designing” fun clothes that she would sew for us! She was fiercely supportive after a hard breakup several years back, buying me a "You're too good for him” mug that still makes me smile and think of her whenever I see it.
In our young adult years, Babah decided it would be a great idea to get her grandkids practical Christmas gifts, so we all got to unwrap boxes of Kleenex, chapstick, Neosporin, batteries, and more. It became entertaining as we really played up the reactions! Then imagine our surprise when tucked in with our annual De-icer Christmas gift was a generous check for $10,000 to each grandchild, a portion of their life savings that they chose to share with us while they were still alive to see us enjoy it. I’m so grateful for that gift and for that memory…
DeBusk family, your timing has been stellar. Your visit here in 2018 was an awesome surprise for Grandad and Babah. Audie mentioned that he had a feeling they needed to come see “Uncle Kenneth and Aunt Dang,” and I believe that was a nudge from God in that season. Bryce, your words of admiration and gratitude meant a great deal to them and to all of us. I’m so grateful you spoke up while they were alive to hear and appreciate it! A few months later, Grandad had a terrible stroke that drastically altered his life, and just over a year later, you all were back to serve as pallbearers at his funeral. And once again this year, you visited us in April when Babah was doing well and able to really enjoy your company, and we’re so grateful to see you all again today – in big and small ways, thank you all for honoring their influence in your lives!! They loved you all very much, and she was also especially proud of her nephew, David, who went on to become a US Navy Seal!
I enjoyed hearing Babah tell old stories, and I always loved her laugh. Still, in writing her obituary, I felt like I hit the nail on the head in using the word “formidable” to describe her. Formidable is defined as impressive, inspiring, and "having qualities that discourage approach or attack." =) Babah could be fierce and intimidating, occasionally too stubborn for her own good. But she was a strong leader who stood up for the people she loved, and I admire her ability to endure hardship without getting bogged down in self-pity… She had a resilient attitude that helped her to recover quickly and bounce back time after time. And I am proud to be a part of this group of strong, spirited women who live with passion and perseverance and stand up for themselves and their families!
* * * * *
Paul’s letters remind us that, because of the work of Christ, we do not have to grieve like those who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again, and that God will raise up every believer to eternal life in heaven with Him. I find a lot of strength and encouragement in these promises, and I hope you will too:
"Our earthly bodies are planted in the ground when we die, but they will be raised to live forever. Our bodies are buried in brokenness, but they will be raised in glory. They are buried in weakness, but they will be raised in strength...
These dying bodies cannot inherit what will last forever... For when the trumpet sounds, those who have died will be raised to live forever. And we who are living will also be transformed… When our dying bodies have been transformed into bodies that will never die, this Scripture will be fulfilled: 'Death is swallowed up in victory.’
...Thanks be to God, Who gives us the victory [making us conquerors] through our Lord Jesus Christ. My dear brothers and sisters, be steadfast, strong, and immovable, always working enthusiastically for the Lord, for you know that nothing you do for the Lord is ever wasted or without purpose."
~I Corinthians 15:37-58 ❤
* * *
Let’s pray together:
Lord Jesus, we love You and we thank You for Babah’s life and legacy and for her time with us here. Thank You for the good memories we carry and for the great people she has helped to raise. We thank You for the hope we have in knowing she is more alive and healed and whole today than she ever was here on earth. Thank You that we are deeply known and loved by You and by all of our loved ones in heaven. May we walk with renewed strength, joy, and freedom here on earth, just as she has found now in heaven. Please comfort us today as we remember her life and spend time with our close family and friends. And we pray that You would bless everyone here with peace and with safe travels home. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Yes, I wrote out the prayer; don't judge me. I cannot be expected to think straight or focus well with all eyes on me. lol And honestly, I'm better able to sincerely connect with the words as I read them rather than feeling jittery or worrying about how it's sounding. It did feel like a poignant moment speaking those verses out loud with one hand on Babah's casket. Buried in brokenness, raised in glory. Buried in weakness, raised in strength. ❤ There was no podium or anything, so I just had to hold the papers and use one hand for my air quotes sections. But it was meaningful and honored them well, and I'm very grateful for that. *And extra grateful that this part is over and we can all catch our breath and hopefully rest a bit now! ❤
P.S. The missing portion of the service was these two songs Mom and I chose. We thought they were going to provide the music, and they thought we were, then at the last minute, JoBug said we should just skip them since it was hot in there anyway (probably a good call). But since we spent a while selecting them, I'm throwing them in here!
On our Hawaii trip, Babah was knocked down by a big ocean wave while standing there talking to Rachael, who started laughing too hard to help her up! She gave Rach a hard time about that for years afterward. I nearly included this pic in her slideshow, but I knew only 3-4 of us would get it and everyone else would be wondering what it had to do with Babah. lol
Story #2: The day Grandad accidentally backed into her with his car, she was taken by ambulance to the nearest hospital. As a breast cancer survivor who had a double mastectomy, she had post-mastectomy bra inserts she would wear... and having been nearly knocked unconscious, she didn't realize that things had shifted a bit. lol The girls were very askew, one by her stomach and one higher than it should be, and she said the 20-year-old paramedic was just looking down at her with grave concern and fear when she finally realized what was wrong and assured him all was well and they were fake. Lol She laughed pretty hard telling that story, and she said he was so relieved and I'm guessing they laughed about it in the ambulance too.
Anyway, just writing those down for good measure.
I went to "the viewing" on Monday. The flowers were lovely, and once again, that was by far the most emotional part for me since I was there alone and knew it was the last time I would be seeing her on earth.
Our poster for the viewing and Memorial Service. ❤
I joined Mom and JoBug at The Veraden this weekend... we worked on cleaning out her room, keeping a few treasured items, giving several things away, and making several piles to take to Goodwill. We also tested the DVD for the slideshow, which did *not* work, so I spent several hours at the courthouse figuring out how to convert it to a different format and burn it to the DVD (with eventual success, but it was all an exhausting weekend)!
We made these cards at Walgreens and gave them out (along with $) to several people at The Veraden who had been kind friends or caretakers for her.
One thing I kept was this "I Deerly Love Christmas" sweater... one she wore for over 30 years. Here she is in her Santa pic with Rach in 1986.
And here in 2018 (Grandad's last Christmas with us).
And she wore it again in 2021 at The Veraden. Anyway, when I realized that while making the slideshow, I asked to have the sweater. I'll incorporate it (or a closeup photo of the front) into a collage with these pictures. ❤
A classic of the four of us with Babah and Grandad!
Not sure what my face is doing, but here's me and Babah in JoBug's kitchen many years ago! =)
And here's the slideshow I made for her Memorial Service. ❤ (We found several of those older photos of her when we cleaned out their house, and thankfully, I had scanned them in earlier this year.)
In a week filled with a lot of family events, we got to celebrate a precious new life on the way, as well as Babah's new life in heaven. Sunday afternoon was Emily's Baby Shower at Gaillardia - Mom and Rach and I helped host it, Mom putting in 90% of the time, energy, and effort there... Rachael had already left when we took this pic, but here's me and Mom with JB and Emily after the shower. =)
I did help with the invitation, which turned out pretty cute! It was a "Daddy's Little Caddy" golf-theme, and we went with an orange-and-black color scheme since Emily and Chas are both OSU grads. =)
Mom made the lovely faux-flower arrangement to hide the cords, Rach made a name sign for baby Asher, Mom made the adorable centerpiece with his initials, JB ordered the bundtinis, and a CHA mom made the cute sugar cookies!
Mom hired someone to do the balloons, and they did a great job! Mom made the B-A-B-Y boxes herself, and they turned out really cute! That throne-like chair is one my parents had recovered that usually goes in their living room. It was the perfect spot for Emily to open presents at this shower. =)
Jace, having a very Simon Cowell moment:
Mom: "Hey, man, you look good in pink!"
Jace: "I know I do - you don't even have to mention it - I look good in every color!"
He was loving his virgin Shirley Temple drink. lol
JoBug and her teacher friends! =)
In their sparkly era! =)
Me, Mom, and T-man at our table
A few pics during the shower... Kyndal handed Emily all the presents, and Jace helped clean up all the trash. They were very proud. =)
Cuteness!!
Mom and I got there at 11am to decorate. We had brunch with JoBug, and that included a pineapple mimosa that was pretty great... which for me means low on the alcohol... and I liked that it had little crushed pineapples floating in it. Gaillardia provided most of the shower food, fruits and veggies and little sandwiches and such!
A closer pic of the cookies... they were very cute!
Both Pistol Petes belong to Mom and Dad, as well as many of the golf balls being used in the centerpieces! lol
It was a beautiful event and a fun day all around, and I'm relieved for Mom's sake that it's over now (and glad we planned it before the Memorial Service).
