Final post on this subject - I divided them so it wouldn't be so absurdly long.
JoBug introducing me to her teacher friends: "This is my niece, Lindsey. She's done everything in planning for mother's funeral. In fact, she's already started to plan for my funeral now too!" lol Mess. She has told me several times to go ahead and start working on her obituary.
Wearing my heart-shaped sparkly earrings from Babah (they were hers first). ❤
Tuesday at noon was the Graveside service at the Arlington Memory Gardens cemetery. Smiley graveside pics always feel awkward, but here we are. lol
The Fab Five (cousins): Audie, Mom, Bryce, JoBug, and Bill
The four grandkids. ❤
Pallbearers were Bryce, Bill, Audie, Gene, Blake, Triston, and Carter (Babah's four nephews, grandson, and two great-grandsons)
The girls with our roses after Grandad's funeral in 2019 and after Babah's in 2023 ❤
*Edited to add a couple pics from Mom's phone, then a couple pics Gene sent us:
The small-ish crowd -- they were all a blur to me the couple times I looked up. I made eye contact once with Mom and once with JB and Rach, and I didn't try for any more than that as I was afraid to lose my place in reading.
Pastor Wesley Robertson (Babah's Chaplain at the Veraden) led the Memorial Service.
JoBug asked me to read the middle part (page 2 of 3) of my graveside speech again for the larger crowd there, so I did. I don't get very nervous when I'm able to just read. =)
They had a theater room that was great for the slideshow, but there were only 38 chairs so several people had to stand the entire time, and it was verrrry warm in there. Not ideal, but it worked.
I was touched and grateful to see that Virginia, Randi Kaye, and Christy all showed up for the viewing and the memorial service (they were exceptional friends to her, but had been estranged for the past couple years). Also grateful to see the DeBusk brothers, David and his wife, James, Rick, Bill & Jill, Bill & Debbie, Charlene, Nancy, Georgia & Alan, and several of JoBug's teacher friends we had met at Emily's shower.
And after all of that, the fam met for an early dinner at Gaillardia... (build-your-own fajitas and taco salad + chicken enchiladas + chips and queso + churros... yum!) Jace didn't realize that was a private event and had invited everyone he talked to at the service, but they were smart enough not to come. lol It was a good chance to catch up with Carter Lee and hear about his latest rodeo events and football stuff!
An awesome gift from David for Mom
Me with the niece and nephews! =)
And now, a complete transcript of my graveside eulogy, minus the obituary, which is already posted in another blog... around 11:30 pm the night before, I realized that the obituary and verse would only take me about six minutes to read, which felt exceptionally short. I also realized this was really my last chance to honor my grandparents' legacy among a group of people who knew and loved them, so I looked through old blog tributes and put together the following:
Hey, friends and family. Thank you so much for being here with us today. I'm going to start by reading her obituary... (HERE).
* * * * *
I’m confident that the four of us consider ourselves very blessed to have grown up with such wonderful grandparents who loved us and were actively involved in our lives. They babysat regularly, baked cookies and let us eat the cookie dough, helped out with our school projects, attended our programs and events and recitals, and took us all on several fantastic vacations!
I have some wonderful childhood memories with Babah, from decorating “smiley-face cakes” to eating butterscotch pudding by the pool to picking out fabric and “designing” fun clothes that she would sew for us! She was fiercely supportive after a hard breakup several years back, buying me a "You're too good for him” mug that still makes me smile and think of her whenever I see it.
In our young adult years, Babah decided it would be a great idea to get her grandkids practical Christmas gifts, so we all got to unwrap boxes of Kleenex, chapstick, Neosporin, batteries, and more. It became entertaining as we really played up the reactions! Then imagine our surprise when tucked in with our annual De-icer Christmas gift was a generous check for $10,000 to each grandchild, a portion of their life savings that they chose to share with us while they were still alive to see us enjoy it. I’m so grateful for that gift and for that memory…
DeBusk family, your timing has been stellar. Your visit here in 2018 was an awesome surprise for Grandad and Babah. Audie mentioned that he had a feeling they needed to come see “Uncle Kenneth and Aunt Dang,” and I believe that was a nudge from God in that season. Bryce, your words of admiration and gratitude meant a great deal to them and to all of us. I’m so grateful you spoke up while they were alive to hear and appreciate it! A few months later, Grandad had a terrible stroke that drastically altered his life, and just over a year later, you all were back to serve as pallbearers at his funeral. And once again this year, you visited us in April when Babah was doing well and able to really enjoy your company, and we’re so grateful to see you all again today – in big and small ways, thank you all for honoring their influence in your lives!! They loved you all very much, and she was also especially proud of her nephew, David, who went on to become a US Navy Seal!
I enjoyed hearing Babah tell old stories, and I always loved her laugh. Still, in writing her obituary, I felt like I hit the nail on the head in using the word “formidable” to describe her. Formidable is defined as impressive, inspiring, and "having qualities that discourage approach or attack." =) Babah could be fierce and intimidating, occasionally too stubborn for her own good. But she was a strong leader who stood up for the people she loved, and I admire her ability to endure hardship without getting bogged down in self-pity… She had a resilient attitude that helped her to recover quickly and bounce back time after time. And I am proud to be a part of this group of strong, spirited women who live with passion and perseverance and stand up for themselves and their families!
* * * * *
Paul’s letters remind us that, because of the work of Christ, we do not have to grieve like those who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again, and that God will raise up every believer to eternal life in heaven with Him. I find a lot of strength and encouragement in these promises, and I hope you will too:
"Our earthly bodies are planted in the ground when we die, but they will be raised to live forever. Our bodies are buried in brokenness, but they will be raised in glory. They are buried in weakness, but they will be raised in strength...
These dying bodies cannot inherit what will last forever... For when the trumpet sounds, those who have died will be raised to live forever. And we who are living will also be transformed… When our dying bodies have been transformed into bodies that will never die, this Scripture will be fulfilled: 'Death is swallowed up in victory.’
...Thanks be to God, Who gives us the victory [making us conquerors] through our Lord Jesus Christ. My dear brothers and sisters, be steadfast, strong, and immovable, always working enthusiastically for the Lord, for you know that nothing you do for the Lord is ever wasted or without purpose."
~I Corinthians 15:37-58 ❤
* * *
Let’s pray together:
Lord Jesus, we love You and we thank You for Babah’s life and legacy and for her time with us here. Thank You for the good memories we carry and for the great people she has helped to raise. We thank You for the hope we have in knowing she is more alive and healed and whole today than she ever was here on earth. Thank You that we are deeply known and loved by You and by all of our loved ones in heaven. May we walk with renewed strength, joy, and freedom here on earth, just as she has found now in heaven. Please comfort us today as we remember her life and spend time with our close family and friends. And we pray that You would bless everyone here with peace and with safe travels home. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Yes, I wrote out the prayer; don't judge me. I cannot be expected to think straight or focus well with all eyes on me. lol And honestly, I'm better able to sincerely connect with the words as I read them rather than feeling jittery or worrying about how it's sounding. It did feel like a poignant moment speaking those verses out loud with one hand on Babah's casket. Buried in brokenness, raised in glory. Buried in weakness, raised in strength. ❤ There was no podium or anything, so I just had to hold the papers and use one hand for my air quotes sections. But it was meaningful and honored them well, and I'm very grateful for that. *And extra grateful that this part is over and we can all catch our breath and hopefully rest a bit now! ❤
P.S. The missing portion of the service was these two songs Mom and I chose. We thought they were going to provide the music, and they thought we were, then at the last minute, JoBug said we should just skip them since it was hot in there anyway (probably a good call). But since we spent a while selecting them, I'm throwing them in here!
Great is Thy Faithfulness by Jordan Smith
And Carrie Underwood's Victory in Jesus ❤
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