Points to Remember

The patriarchy = a social hierarchy system where the attributes associated with masculinity (being competitive, analytical, confident, assertive, blunt, decisive, logical) are esteemed and generally considered superior... while the attributes associated with femininity (being relational, warm, empathetic, sensitive, creative, nurturing, emotional) are belittled and/or viewed as weak. 
[That definition really helps me to understand how it can negatively affect both genders!]

This cultural bias hurts men and women, as both genders are created in God’s image with the God-given capacity to be well-rounded human beings thriving with every positive attribute that God Himself possesses.  We want to see healthy male and female leaders who are able to be assertive while valuing quality relationships, (not aggressive, dominant, or arrogant leaders who lack empathy and view others as beneath them).  And we want to see kind men and women who are confident and strong while caring for themselves and others well, not disempowered or ashamed of their own emotions, and never believing themselves to be inferior to anyone or deserving of abuse.

Therapists are encouraged to consider the cultural influences and the social messages behind the behaviors we are seeing, helping clients to reframe their story… normalizing healthy emotional reactions, as people often feel unfair shame for having a strong (normal) reaction to a very abnormal or traumatic situation.

Culturally and personally, we consume various messages pushing the trance of powerlessness, the idea that people cannot empower themselves but need the government or someone stronger to step in and do things for them.  Most people entering therapy are unable to see their own power to create positive changes in an area where they are experiencing pain.  When people feel disempowered by learned helplessness, it always causes emotional distress and behavioral dysfunction.  We must pay attention to where and how greater power is available to us, asking ourselves and our clients: What might constitute a move toward power and positive change in the areas where powerlessness has been experienced? 

Moving toward power and positive physical change means accepting our bodies and experiencing the body as a safe place, where our focus is on adequately nourishing ourselves rather than forcing a certain body size/shape... Power in the body means being attuned and connected with our desire for food, comfort, sexual pleasure, and rest, then meeting those needs without violating our core values or harming ourselves or anyone else.

Relationally powerful people have more effective interpersonal interactions.  They acknowledge and forgive their own humanity and the humanity of others, while taking care to protect themselves from physically or emotionally unsafe people.  "Powerful people are well-defined and differentiated... without being distant or detached."

-The above = my Christ-centered takeaways from Laura Brown’s Feminist Therapy book  (I skimmed through it during my downtime at Restore the other day and found those sections helpful for my own understanding and clinical practice.  My first four clients are women, and I hope to work with them on pressing into their strengths, experiencing their emotions without shame, and feeling empowered to create meaningful change and healthier relationships!)