I am definitely more afraid of bugs and hot things (curling irons, hot glue, ovens, etc.) than the average person! But those are not the things I'm most afraid of. It's the deeper stuff - losing the people I love most (through death or abandonment or betrayal), losing my ability to smile, being physically and/or emotionally harmed by a deliberate attack, being all alone in a health crisis or emotional breakdown, my support network falling through when I need them most, never accomplishing anything of true value, being too far away to get there when someone I love is hurt or dying, etc.
I am thankful that I don't spend a lot of time worrying about these things at this point in my life. Parts of my life were so darkened by depression and anxiety, and I want to do all I can to keep hope in front of me and keep my soul healthy and avoid falling back into that. It's why I never watch scary movies and why I recently stopped watching crime shows and medical dramas - I'm paying more attention to how those things affect my soul, and trying to take care better care of it. I'm very aware of my spiritual enemy and always working to separate the light from the darkness, to recognize and reject his lies and focus in on God's truth!
Many of my fears listed above have happened to me at least once, and I have survived. God gives us the grace we need for the present moment every step of our lives. I know that nothing will separate me from God's love and presence, and that's a HUGE comfort to me at this stage. And I have the greatest hope to cling to, knowing that whatever goes wrong here, God will bring full restoration and healing in the coming kingdom!
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