Faithful and True

Get excited, friends - today is my 36th birthday!!*

(It's also President's Day, so this picture feels appropriate.)

I love that my birthday fell on a National holiday! =)

I've been thinking about the faithfulness of God lately... so without further ado, here are 36 Times God Has Been Faithful in My First 36 Years of Life! =)

1. I was the first grandchild for Babah and Grandad, born two weeks past my due date on their 30th anniversary: February 17, 1984. ❤
2. I have been blessed with wonderful, loving, involved, supportive Christian parents.
3. God gave me a sister and built-in friend, Rachael LaJo, who was born on February 11th two years later.
4. He led my parents to the right doctors to figure out why I was very sick and losing all my hair at age 2, and He eventually healed me from the kidney disease causing those issues.
5. Grandad babysat and took care of me, Rachael, Blake, and Emily, which was an awesome blessing to us and to our working parents in those early years!
6. He led Mom and Dad to enroll us at CHA my first grade year, and I'm thankful for the fun memories and the strong foundation and Biblical teaching we experienced there!
7. In one of many post-church conversations, Mom led me to Christ at age 7! ❤
8. God healed me from a brief round of Bells Palsy in second grade.
9. Grandad brought a little Christmas tree to our upstairs apartment in my 3rd grade year when I had been sad about us not having one... one of my favorite Grandad memories.
10. God orchestrated a well-timed conversation between Mom and Lynda, and He healed me from a much longer and more-likely-to-become-permanent round of Bells Palsy in the summer between my sophomore and junior year of high school.  So thankful for my ability to smile! =)
11. God used one of Pastor Craig's sermons to bring strong conviction in my heart that led me to confess something to a close friend and find freedom from guilt and shame.
12. I moved to Tulsa when I got a job here in 2007 (motivated by an unhealthy pursuit of a relationship with a guy who cut me out of his life shortly after that), but God had a plan and brought me here for good reason!
13. John Bevere spoke at Victory Church about the refining fire in early 2007, encouraging us to pray for the fire of God to burn and remove the impurities in our lives and refine us. I prayed earnestly and sincerely for that... not realizing the intense pain it would involve as God faithfully answered that prayer.
14. I joined a Lifegroup when I moved, and God used that group of people I barely knew at the time to help me survive after the devastating loss of my closest relationship and the many friendships that ended alongside it.
15. Through that experience, my cousin's diagnosis, and the tragic death of a young friend we were all praying would be healed (I refer to this broken season as "the trifecta"), God taught me SO MUCH about letting go of bitterness and about trusting His sovereignty in 2007-2008!
16. My friend, Natalie, recommended John Eldredge's Waking the Dead book in that season, and it remains the most helpful and healing book I've ever read!
17. Me and two of my friends started the Diving Deeper Lifegroup in 2008.  It grew and changed and multiplied over time, and I am so thankful for all the great memories and all God did in and through that group!
18. At my New Years Eve party in 2008, I was assigned a group for the scavenger hunt and had to drive around two close friends who were new to our group... needless to say, I was not thrilled with that.  Those two (Chet Lee and Sarah Elizabeth) are my closest friends in all the world today, so that memory still makes me laugh!  Yay, God. =)
19. In November 2011, God rescued my parents after a severe car wreck that could've been fatal, as well as the hospital stays and staph infection that followed for Mom.  I'm deeply thankful for that every time I think about it and how different our lives could look today.
20. I went back to school and earned my Bachelor's degree in 2013.  God used my time at SNU to build new friendships, expand my understanding, and build my resilience... all of which were very helpful in the crazy hard season that came next.
21. When I suffered through a traumatic loss in 2013, several friends came through and supported me, and God was very present and close!
22. My sweetest one and only niece, Kyndal Faith, was born just before that painful season, and her life was a wonderful comfort and a strong motivator for me to keep moving forward and healing!
23. God gave me the courage and the theological foundation I needed to walk away from a personal prayer ministry that turned out to be a truly crazy, cult-like experience.
24. God led me and helped me find a good counselor and helpful antidepressant medication when I needed it that year.  He also helped me find peace and confidence in that decision rather than feeling shame or false guilt about needing extra help.
25. Through prayer, counseling, reading, writing, and honest conversations with friends and family, God has taught me to be gentle and kind with my own heart, to embrace my story and His work in and through it, and to stop suppressing hard emotions... to trust that I can feel and move through them rather than getting stuck trying to push them down!
26. In 2017, a random John Eldredge podcast about God being a "God of process" who is patient and moves gradually and loves to walk with us through the journey saved me from seeking a quick temporary fix and making a potentially dangerous health decision that would’ve been catastrophic to my soul.
27. God gifted me with creative talent and a love for documenting life, and I'm thankful for continued opportunities to bring beauty and joy (to myself and others) through calligraphy, lettering, painting, photography, making slideshows, writing cards, blogging, etc.
28. God has clarified over time and through a series of close relationships that part of my calling is to support, comfort, and encourage women who are grieving (particularly mothers grieving the loss of their child).
29. I have many flaws and imperfections, but I'm thankful God has gradually increased my ability to feel and express love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control!
30. As a single woman, I'm deeply thankful God has provided several good men in my life who care about me and come through every time I need their help, strength, and/or wisdom!  (Dad, Grandad, Chet, Jeff, Kyle, Jon, Steve, Bill, Alan, etc.)
31. God was gentle and kind in the timing of Grandad's death last summer...  Rather than being alone in the nursing facility, he was at home surrounded by people who loved him and were literally praying over him at the moment of his death.  I am thankful he lived to celebrate his 90th birthday less than a month before he died, and that everyone who deeply loved him had time to say and show that and recognize that he was ready to move forward to heaven.  ❤
32. I've seen God's faithfulness repeatedly in our family friendships, and I'm thankful for the way Dad and his friends have stayed close and supported each other for over 40 years... that level of solid loyalty speaks volumes and comforts my soul.  I believe I have the same thing with a few friends here, and I'm incredibly grateful for it!
33. I have felt God's presence and power in the awe-inspiring beauty of Niagara Falls, the beaches of Hawaii, and the epic mountains in Colorado.  I'm thankful for the travel opportunities I’ve had, and for the way beauty comforts and refreshes my heart.
34. God has been very faithful in bringing healing/redemption where there has been deep relational brokenness in my life.  Four friends from the group that shunned me in 2007 have apologized and reconnected on some level.  And there has been similar restoration in another major friendship, accompanied by several conversations that brought clarity, peace, understanding, and healing with my closest friends here. ❤
35. A family friend (Kim) came over to talk to Mom and I at church recently.  She told me, "I always love seeing your pictures on Facebook - it looks like such a great group always doing fun things together - you have THE BEST FRIENDS!!"  She was not wrong, and hearing the words “best friends” in the plural context made me happy. ❤
36. God is opening doors and surrounding me with support in the adoption process, and I know He will continue to lead and guide me through that journey and all that follows!!

"Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow

Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!!"

*Today is also National Random Acts of Kindness Day... so it's a great opportunity to be extra encouraging and do something kind for someone! ❤

Valentine's Friday Favs! ❤

Happy Valentine's Day, wonderful friends and fam! ❤  May you love others well, be kind to yourself, and believe you are deeply loved and valued today!!

Fun Video: This video is actually four years old, but it's very much new to me this week, and it's so completely fantastic!!  I love James Corden, carpool karaoke, Lin Manuel, Hamilton, Broadway fun, and dramatic singalongs, so this one was a treat all around.  Enjoy! =)


Purchase:  I finally ordered an air fryer last week, and I'm already a fan!  (The Chefman TurboFry w/Digital Touch Screen on Amazon.)  So far, I've used it for cooking grilled cheese sandwiches, bagels, chicken, asparagus, and French toast... all tasty and awesome! =)

Recent News:  You guys, I filled out my online application last Tuesday, received their folder in the mail and read through everything, then had a 40-minute informational phone meeting with one of the program directors from the Angel Adoption agency on Wednesday!!  (Essential preliminary steps so I can be prepared if things align for me to start that process this year.)

Thing I've Heard This Week:  The Restoring the Soul Podcast this week (HERE) focused on betrayal trauma in marriage and other deeply close relationships -- how it affects us and how we heal and recover from it. This was profoundly insightful and helpful, particularly for trauma survivors who tend to minimize their own pain, unfairly blame themselves, or who've felt blamed or shamed by others. ❤

Gift from God Lately:  I really enjoyed this blog post about purpose (CLICK HERE) from Joanna Gaines!  

My favorite part:  “Our life’s purpose is not a one-stop arrival. It is worked out along the way... No matter what you find yourself in today, it will be different tomorrow. Life is predictable in that way. Nothing is permanent. We have to believe that where we were yesterday and where find ourselves today matter for who we become tomorrow… There’s comfort in knowing that none of us has arrived. We’re all just figuring it out as we go. Still, if we can live more intentionally on the way, then perhaps every season can start to feel meaningful.” ❤

Amen to that!  God knows what He's doing in our lives, and every season IS meaningful. On that note, Happy Friday, Happy Valentine's Day, Happy February, AND Happy three-day Birthday weekend to me!!  ;-)

Try Softer

As a devoted Christian, a childhood trauma survivor, and a licensed counselor, Aundi Kolber has a lot of valuable wisdom to share, as well as practical coping skills to teach, and she does so with gentleness and compassion.  She gives you practical suggestions and exercises at the end of each chapter to apply what you learned.  I recommend this book to anyone sincerely seeking wholeness and healing from past wounds.  Below are a few of my favorite quotes from her first book, Try Softer, (which I read cover to cover in two days, which may be a personal record):

"We come by these tendencies honestly.  We've learned to white-knuckle our way through life to armor up against pain and difficulty; we believe minimizing our wounds is the only way we'll be loved."

"You don't have to dismiss your pain here.  You don't need to shrink it down or pretend living through it wasn't hard. We know God is with us through it all, but that doesn't mean life hasn't cracked you open... The wounds you have experienced are valid.  What's happened in your life matters."

"The work of trying softer begins when we release our desire for the quick fix and tend to the wounds underneath the surface.  Otherwise, we're going to stay stuck."

"Change happens in layers and is rarely linear. It takes as long as it takes. It's okay to be unfinished... The process of blooming is as valuable as the flower it produces." ❤

"Part of my brain knew I was deeply loved by God, but because of my own unresolved trauma, I couldn't think myself into experiencing His love for me... It's only been through intentionally working with my own pain that I have come to experience the true reality of a good, kind, and compassionate God."

"Research shows that taking longer to exhale than to inhale signals to our nervous system that we are safe."

"The way in which you move through hardship matters greatly.  It can predict whether something becomes integrated into your experience and loses its intensity or builds in power to the point that you feel it might overwhelm you."

"It's difficult to build toward compassion - toward ourselves or others - if we continue to be highly critical of everything around us."

"Before we know something is happening in our conscious mind (including our emotions), we know it first in our body... We must begin to listen to what our bodies are telling us. We always pay a price when we try to live disembodied lives. Our memories and experiences do not simply go away.  Our bodies are their keepers, for better or worse."

"No matter how hard we try, we can't hate or shame ourselves into change. Only love can move us toward true growth."

"I pray you remember to be gentle with yourself as you grow, knowing condemnation never leads us onward but instead stunts the process... And when you are weary, may you never - no, never - lose heart.  May you know in an experiential, personal, and transformational way that the One who has called you is faithful." ❤

Friday Favs

Fun Video:  No One Needs to Know by Shania Twain
I've loved this song for years - ever since I watched the Shania Twain: Behind the Music on VH1 - it's good, classic country and the lyrics are fun and relatable!  I watched the full music video for the first time this week, and I was thinking metaphorically about all the possible emotional symbolism with the storm and tornado in the video... before I read the comments and realized this song was used in the movie Twister, so the house in the music video is also from that movie, hence the tornado-theme. 😂
(*As a huge movie fan and an Oklahoma girl, it's weird to me that I've never yet seen that movie.  I know it's a favorite of my Texas-raised friend, Jeffrey Edward!)


Purchase:  Celine tickets... they were technically purchased way back in April of 2019, but worth it - she sang all my favorites, and there are many!  (This was my third time seeing her, but first time paying to do so. lol)  The Wilsons were kind enough to come pick me up since it was a snowy day, so I'm thankful for that. She's a fantastic and talented singer, and to quote Chettles, an "exquisitely unique" person! lol

Recent News:  Big Business is now available on Disney+ - get excited!  This one is a childhood fav about two sets of twins mismatched at birth, and it makes me super happy, even though the great majority of my friends have never seen or heard of it. #missingout

Thing I've Heard This Week:  "Bittersweet and strange, finding you can change, learning you were wrong." ❤
Also, this entire thing - my fav Celine song - listen and soak in all the emotional drama!


Gift from God Lately:  A lovely snow day (our first this winter season) - always pretty and fun as long as I don't have to drive on dangerous roads!!  
Here are some adorable snow day pics of some of my favorite happy kids:

Happy Friday, errrybody!  Hope you have an awesomesauce weekend!!

It Has Begun...

Well, we are barely three days in, and there have already been three fun February events.  It's my favorite month for good reason!  Plus I think Leap Years are awesome, and I need to think of some fun way to commemorate that. =)

Saturday was Tate's 2nd birthday party at the Wilsons' house, a Baby Shark themed extravaganza! =)

I came early to "help" by drawing faces on the random sea creatures. lol  But mostly just to hang out and chat! =)

The birthday boy!

How great is the baby shark cake!?  So cute!

Grammy with Uncle Michael and Aunt Bailey (currently pregnant with his cousin, Lincoln). =)

All the love from his Grammy and GiGi!

The baby shark hats were super cute!

A Lindsey and Tate collage through the past two years! ❤

The Wilsons have done a great job of staying involved in their friends' lives and letting their friends (bonus "aunts" and "uncles") be a part of Tate's life... it made me happy seeing all these pics, so I made a second collage for that!

* * * * * * *

And now we transition to Jaceman's birthday!  His party was on the same day and at the same time as Tate's... but he was busy and happy playing with his classmates and siblings at Oklahoma Gold Gymnastics, so he wasn't too worried about me missing it.  I drove down on Saturday night and got to join the fam for LifeChurch's 30-Second Theology and then a birthday lunch at Red Robin... fun times! 

This = an Aunt Lindsey and Jaceman collage through the past 8 years! ❤

Miss K stayed in big church with the adults this week, and I grabbed a picture with her in the lobby!  Rach cut some cute bangs for her that she's excited about, and her mermaid sequin shirt was the cutest!

Watching her write her name and doodle and draw pictures on the prayer requests card brought back memories of doing that at FSBC back in the day. =)

Jace went to his normal class and got an epic birthday crown!

...which he kept on while we were at Red Robin! lol

Reading his card from Mamaw and Grandpa!

Listening to the music on his card from me! lol

Parrish fam

Mamaw and Grandpa with Jace!

* * * * * * *

Finally, in addition to being the birthday of Jace Michael and Tate Haywood, yesterday was also Super Bowl Sunday!!  (Super Bowl LIV, Chiefs vs. 49ers.  Those two teams also played in Super Bowl #4 exactly 50 years ago... and Mom said she watched that game too, so that's fun!  Sarah and I paid attention to it for the last four minutes when the Chiefs came back for the win in the last quarter - yay!)  Sarah decided to have people over, and that was fun!  I tried several new foods... including goat cheese + pesto on bread, jalapeno cheddar bacon dip, apple walnut salad, and pineapple orange cake -- all better than expected for me! I did not, however, try the black olives, the "cowboy caviar" salsa, or the bacon-wrapped little smokies - they're such a hit at every party, but I've never tried one yet.  Maybe someday it will sound good.

It was fun times chatting with the Wilsons, the Fultons, and Nancy and David!

This = part of a text convo with Chet yesterday where we were talking about WW plans and eating healthier... riiiight after the Super Bowl! lol

On a similar note, I love how simply this truth is stated here.   Donald Miller wrote a blog on this idea a while back, but this puts it really clearly in two sentences:

Self-respect comes from the inside out, and the choices that lead us there will vary a bit from person to person.  My personal priorities for healthy self-respect go in the following order:

1. Loving and honoring God and His Word
2. Prioritizing emotional stability and strength
3. Maintaining close relationships with friends and family
4. Being kind and empathetic
5. Being authentic and honest
6. Creating a nice/organized home and work environment
7. Respecting my body by avoiding diet extremes and negative self-talk
8. Following through with it when I say I will do something
9. Learning and trying new things, staying open to new ideas
10. Taking decisive action rather than giving in to laziness or fear

There's a lot more I could write on each of those, but that's the short list for me. =)

Hope your February is off to a lovely start, friends!

Friday Favorites!

Happy Friday, gang!!  Starting a new Friday Favorites thing bc it sounds fun right now. lol

1.  Fun Video:  This gem has been my favorite video on the world wide web since it was posted in 2015... I so love Jimmy Fallon's freakout when he realizes Nicole Kidman was interested in him a while back and he missed it completely! lol  Watch it - you won't regret it.  I pretty much have it memorized now - makes me laugh every time! =)


2.  Purchase:  My brand new favorite hoodie, beating out Harvard and Yale!  (Here's hoping it lasts 10+ years like those did.)  Huzzah for Old Navy and Friends!

3.  Recent News:  Lin Manuel Miranda confirming (HERE)  a Hamilton movie (of the musical starring the original cast).  Yes, please!!

4.  Thing I've Heard This Week:  "Greed is wanting more than God has for me, but hunger is wanting ALL that God has for me.  I'm not greedy; I'm hungry!"  ~Tauren Wells on Annie Downs' podcast, (quoting Pastor Dharius Daniels)

5.  Gift from God Lately:  Words of affirmation, validation, loyalty, and encouragement from Sarah, Jeff, Chet, Kristin, and Lindsay this week.  Lots of meaningful conversations with people who are on the A-Team in my life! =)

Thankful Thursday!! (103)

"I love You, Lord; You are my strength. The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my Savior. My God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety!"  ~Psalm 18:1-2
LOVE THAT.

Today, I am thankful for:

1. Friends who strengthen and encourage and sharpen me, and hopefully vice versa.  I'm thankful for getting to catch up with Lindsay for a couple hours today at lunch, and for the way she speaks life over my writing and adoption dreams! ❤  (Not pictured, but I also had a belated bday lunch with Kristin Foster yesterday, and I'm thankful for her words of wisdom and encouragement, as well!!)

2.  The cutest niece and nephews!  #CHAspiritweek #70sday #peaceandlove

3.  Getting to celebrate Tiffany's birthday with a fun girls' night at BJ's! =)  (Pizookies for all!)

4.  Again, Peloton workouts with Cody Rigsby... so much laughter and great music - from Lady Gaga to "Pop princesses and boy bands." lol  It's not that deep, Boo! was his "mantra" for 2019, which just makes me happy.  This = some random Cody quotes, the Britney one being my favorite. =)

5.  All the memes that make me laugh! =)

6.  "I don't think you should look at yourself as the person who always gets left.  You should look at yourself as the person who's willing to stay and fight. It's a good thing! I wish I had more of that in me." ~Kevin Pearson (via random This is Us writer)  
...Thankful for this reminder, and the many ways God has been replacing lies with truth!!

7.  Feeling encouraged by this thought this week:

Happy Thursday, gang!  My favorite month (*this time IN A LEAP YEAR) begins in two days... get excited!! ❤