The Illusion of Control

"In order to develop a growth mindset, you've got to prioritize learning over seeking approval.  You’ve got to prioritize growing over perfecting/succeeding, and trying over being perfect...  People with a fixed mindset attempt to stay in control by not trying.  The key is to consistently remind yourself:  If I just try, I will learn something - I’ll improve - I'll get a little closer.  If I work a little harder, I’ll gain control!"  ~Mel Robbins

I've written and read a lot about growth mindset, and I've taught it with a couple counseling clients.  I love that I'm still seeing new ways to apply it in my own life!

"People with a fixed mindset attempt to stay in control by not trying."

Woof.  That one stings.  I think a lot of my supposed apathy and self-sabotaging moves stem from an unspoken fear of (really putting in the effort and then) failing.  It just feels safer not to let myself really try, and I can easily convince myself (or make agreements with my spiritual enemy) that pretending is the best path to preserving my relationships, which are a high priority for me.

But I want authenticity and real connection.  I don't want to live a cowardly life, and I don't want to live a dishonest life.  And I'm in a legit knock-down, drag-out internal battle with all of that over the past couple months.

I'm tired from this fun weekend (which I'll write more about tomorrow).  And what I want to say about the mental battle for integrity isn't short or fully formed yet, but I promise to write more about that by next Sunday.

For now, I'll say I am grateful for conviction and repentance and grace... and for the reminder that pretending and lying are selfish and unhealthy patterns worth breaking... and for the power of growth mindset and confessional community (started by Curt Thompson - something I'm so interested in learning more about).

Also grateful for the Launch community and this contract which was well-timed - that's a messy iPhone finger signature, but it still counts! ❤

Yay for grace and truth and living with balanced virtues.  Yay for putting in a wholehearted effort and trusting God with the results.  And yay for prioritizing learning and growing over perfectionism and seeking approval!

Keep moving forward, friends... God is with you and for you!

❤