Havno Naime

I learned this morning that my Uncle Havno passed away yesterday.  He had a stroke, and his health had been declining for a couple weeks, then he died in hospice care last night. =(  He had doubts about whether Jesus would really forgive him, but several years ago, after Dad and his siblings talked with him about it many times, he accepted Jesus as his Savior... so we are thankful for that!

The pic below is "the Muecke Bunch" siblings at our Christmas gathering at the Texas Mueckes in 2008.  (Havno is the oldest son, so he's the Greg Brady.  Gus = Peter, Dad = Bobby, Nancy = Marcia, Charlene = Jan, and Georgia = Cindy.)

People always think we're joking, but no.  It's how I've known him since childhood, so it genuinely doesn't register as strange to me until I see people's reaction when I say "Uncle Havno."  Doc and Doris named him William or "Bill" Muecke, but he had it legally changed to "Havno Naime" after returning from fighting in Vietnam.  He had an interesting sense of humor, and it made him laugh. It also altered his identity forever - a thinly-veiled external effort to erase the old self and become someone new without addressing the internal stuff or all the war trauma — so adult me is certain there was more pain than humor behind that decision.

He has lived with Gus and Marilyn in Texas for the past decade, and they have taken really great care of him.  He was in Oklahoma and around us all more often in my childhood years... my main memory of him is that several of us kids were irrationally scared of him when we were very little, so he decided to play a game where he would throw quarters into the pool for us kids to dive in and fish out and keep, and we thought it was the very best game! lol  And he was no longer scary then.  I also remember some letters that he wrote to Dad in later years that were entertaining to read.

Of course, the group that I know best is the Oklahoma aunts and uncles - Nancy and Gene, Charlene, and Georgia and Alan.  We see Gus and Marilyn a couple times a year.  I haven't seen Havno for a few years now.  I know all the siblings went to see him for his birthday in 2019, when his health was already on the downhill slide.

This = Dad, Nancy, Charlene, Georgia, and Gus at our Thanksgiving 2019 gathering!!

I feel very aware that he is the first of my aunts and uncles - the first in that generation of my family - to die.  I have very few good photos of him, and there is so much about Havno's story that's a mystery to me, and probably to everyone but God.  I know from what I've heard that he was never the same after returning from Vietnam, and that makes me sad.  It's the work of our spiritual enemy, and I deeply hate it when people are scarred by something and struggle to talk about it or recover.  His life had a lot of unhealed pain and some poor decisions that stemmed from that pain... and I'm just thankful he is done wrestling with it all now! 

^This is one of my favorite pics of Dad and his siblings.  Nancy (who's a lot like me in this way) suggested this cheesy pose, and they all went along with it. lol

I'm not sure yet whether there will be a funeral or memorial service, but I wanted to acknowledge his life and his death here.  And to sincerely encourage you to seek help if there is unspoken or unhealed pain in your life that is holding you back from fully living!!  You are not too far gone or beyond hope, and God absolutely still loves you and cares about you. ❤