I mentioned that I'm going back through the Annie and Eddie Keep Talking podcast. I am loving it all again, as I knew I would. On episode 34, recorded May 1st of 2020, Eddie's youngest daughter was on the podcast, and Annie asked her favorite Disney princess. She said she didn't care too much about Disney princesses, but would probably pick Tiana if she had to choose one. When she left, they had the following conversation:
EDDIE: Oh, they love Disney princesses and everything they are in, but they have been brainwashed enough from me saying: 'You don't need a guy to come and save the day. You can figure this out. You're a queen; you're not a princess.' So they've heard that enough times, so that was just brainwashing on display.
ANNIE: Hmm, I have a thought... I'm so interested in that as a female because there are some things I can't do that I need help with. So saying the queen thing is so right, I think, because women and men are not helpless. Men don't need a woman to make them food - they will figure it out. Women don't need a man to kill a bug - she will figure it out. So we aren't helpless, but there are times when I am unable to accomplish something without someone taller than me or someone stronger than me. But where's the line of: You can still ask for help, and it doesn't make you weak!
EDDIE: Okay, we all need community, and we all need friends. Flipping a mattress and other physical things, we're all going to need each other for. I am a fairly large, tall, strong man, and I need help all the time. So that really is not a male/female thing. That is... a singular human being cannot navigate all areas of life!
The princess thing for me, and the line that I draw especially in Disney movies -- let me get my soapbox out -- there is a measure of self-actualization that happens in these women in the movies that comes only when they have finally found true love. And I think that they were great people and self-actualized and full human beings before that happened. And I realize it's just a story or it's just a trope, but that kind of junk gets into a kid's head, and I -- again, people love Disney princesses, and I love Disney and really enjoy it, and we're not super strict on it -- but I want all of my friends and especially the ones that I get to be a part of raising to know that they are exactly as God intended them to be, full and complete creations, without any other human being.
Now, there is more to life and there are wonderful things and there is beauty and joy in relationships. And if they get married, what a beautiful addition. But you do not "complete me." We did not "start a family." We were a family already. You and I being together are a family; having children does not begin the family. You don't complete me -- all of that. There is no qualification on how God talks about the fullness of people about gender. You're full, and you are exactly who you should be. And anything that pushes back against that, especially for a kid, I have a hard time with.
So that's the Disney princess thing for me... because it's a pretty intense thing to put in a kid's brain that the story -- the happiest part of the story, the part where it stops being scary, the part where you stop feeling sad and she starts smiling, the part where she looks different in a different dress and her hair is just a little prettier, all happens when he shows up. I want more for them than that!
Oh my gosh, YES, Eddie Kaufholz!! I really loved hearing that, especially coming from a man who is raising two precious adopted daughters!
This is exactly why Frozen quickly climbed the list of favorite Disney movies for me... because the lead character is Queen Elsa, who finds empowerment, inner strength, beauty, and creative power without a romantic partner storyline. She has flaws and fears, but she is given a voice and a significant role and seen as powerful and beautiful in her own right, and I love that. Every time I do a Peloton ride with Robin, she talks about us being royalty and adjusting our crowns, and I love that reminder too. How we view ourselves matters. We are children of God, and we are fully complete in Him! We are not helpless or invisible. We can do hard things, sometimes on our own, and sometimes we help others and they help us. It's extremely important to remember that friends and children and spouses are all beautiful additions to our lives, but never the thing that makes us whole or increases our worth and value as a human being! Anyway, that's all I wanted to share here today. Thanks for listening. ❤ Now back to my podcast friends. lol
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