Celebrating Sarah

Friday night, Steve and Nancy threw a surprise birthday party for Sarah Elizabeth!  Here we are with her looking super-festive holding all the balloons after the party. lol

Nancy made a delish strawberry cake and got a half-and-half cake from Reasor's, and the restaurant also brought out a big plate of sopapillas as a birthday treat! =)

I was happy the Wilsons were there so I could chat with people I knew while we waited this time. =)

Chet (and several others):  It's freezing in here!!

Me:  I'm good.

Chet:  Well, not a lot of people wear sweaters in July!

Me:  Lucky meeee! lol #noregrets

Steve and Sarah

Fun times!  Nancy thought this looked bad because she had to use cupcakes on top, but I thought it looked really creative and fun with the strawberries stacked all around! =)  I'm becoming a bigger fan of fruity desserts - not necessarily better than chocolate, but strawberry cake and lemon-flavored desserts are pretty amazing!  Steve commented that he was too full, to which Chet said, "Be a man!  Eat the cake!!" lol

Sarah opening her Thirty-One tote bags from her mom!

I spent a minute on the envelope then planned to write the card at the restaurant.  Then I chatted with Chet and Karli and forgot about it till Sarah walked in... so I did a super fast two-word note.  I handed it to her and she said, "Oh, Lindsey always writes the best cards!!"  Haha I said "Noooo, not this time.  But I'll send you a nice long message later." lol

Sarah and the Wilsons (minus Tate).

She's definitely one of my favorites!!

I laughed about this for a while... Steve was mocking Sarah for having to fix her hair before every picture, and I put a bounce effect on the Live Photo. LOL

That's all I've got for now.  Hope you have a lovely Sunday!

Photo Friday!

Happy Friday, gang, and Happy Birthday to Sarah Elizabeth!!

*Random fun fact, or maybe not so fun... my Hamilton tickets arrived in the mail today, on the 215th anniversary of his death.  July 11, 1804 was the duel between Hamilton and Aaron Burr, the sitting Vice President of the country... then Alexander died the next day, and Burr went right on being America's VP and was never prosecuted for deliberately shooting someone in the open street. ("Everything is legal in New Jersey.")  It's pretty fascinating stuff!

Anyway, on to some recent pics... here is Loki last Saturday joining Sarah, Kelley, and Amber on the couch as we watched the video for our first Bible study (on Lisa TerKeurst's It's Not Supposed to be This Way).

Sarah hosted and made Pioneer Woman breakfast casserole for us.  Kelley brought fruit pizza, Amber brought milk and orange juice, and I brought donuts.  Yummers!  Favorite meal of the day!

On Sunday, Chettles invited a crew of people to help his new clients/friends paint their new home! lol  He bribed us with free dinner. ;-)  The Myers were also there, and it was fun times!

Jessica and Evan working on the high stuff... that's by far the worst part!  Karli and I did the reachable edges  and trim stuff, then went to pick up dinner at Raising Cane's. =)

We had eight people working in one big and very well-prepped room, so it went pretty fast, all things considered.

And since we're on the subject of painting, here's the latest evolution of this painting, which I'm still not sure I'm done with. lol  This pic = my first abstract painting that I did way back in 2008. I like the swirliness and the sideways heart at the top left, but I wanted to mute the bright colors a little...

After trying for approximately 5 minutes to paint muted colors over the intricate pattern that was already there, I decided to paint it all out and start fresh.  I dunno what my impatience is with art projects - I think it's partly that I don't like having my table messy for very long.  But I didn't have enough paint, so the background is a mix of like 4 different colors. lol  I don't even know.  Then I was trying to do a fun swirly circle thing over some of the existing swirls I could still faintly see.  And if I had stopped here, I might've been happy with it? lol

But I did not stop there - I kept making more circles and blurring them over each other.  Most of what I used here was metallic paint, so when I hung this up in the hallway lighting, the circles were barely visible.

So I grabbed some brighter colors (what I was trying to avoid in the first place) and went kinda crazy with it, and it was a hard pass when I saw this one hanging up. lol  #waytoomuch #dizzy

So I used all the colors and blurred all the chaos back out into this happy, peaceful introverty painting.

But it felt too boring all by itself, so I grabbed some gold leaf flakes and went across it with those, and I'm semi-satisfied, so that's where we are now.  But I may finally go buy more paint stuff and spend more time preparing and create something I like better later.  Either way, I was in the mood to paint and process all that's going on lately, so it was a relaxing project for me.  And it always makes me happy to think about how there are several other layers beneath what everyone can see on the surface, even if some of them are a hot mess. lol

That's all for now.  Hope you have a lovely weekend!! ❤

Battered

Domestic abuse has become alarmingly common in our society.  We see a lot of these cases at the courthouse, and they get to me every time.  (*I understand and acknowledge that it can happen on both sides of the gender spectrum, but the vast majority of what we see is arrogant, angry men trying to control and intimidate their emotionally/physically battered wives and girlfriends out of telling the truth about them.)  And because so many have fallen into battered woman syndrome, their partner's control tactics work way too often.  Over and over again, we see these frightened women changing their stories, pretending they were confused or mistaken when they reported the abuse, and refusing to testify against these bullying men... thereby empowering the men to continue hurting and abusing them, their children if they have kids, and others who are physically weaker than them.  It's always frustrating and painful because every person in the courtroom knows the obvious truth, but unless the woman in the middle of it is willing to speak up and fight for herself, no one else can get her out of that situation.

So this post is what I wish I could say to those women:

You deserve better.

You are not helpless or powerless. 

You are so much stronger than you think.  You have the power to get out of this toxic relationship.  

Stop making excuses for his behavior.  He is a grown adult and must take responsibility for his decisions and actions.

  

Being single does not make you one bit less valuable.  You deserve better, and singleness is a far better option than a toxic relationship that is continually damaging your soul.

We have not forgotten your words and your pain even when you've gone back to trying to mask it and hide and protect the abuser.  Your words have been heard, and they matter to us.  We will help you if you will let us.  Do not be defeated and go silent.  Please keep speaking up for yourself and your children.

 When he is not the type of man you want your sons to become or your daughters to choose for themselves, make it clear with your voice and your actions that it is not okay for men to behave this way and that women are not inferior and do not have to put up with abuse.

You may have been manipulated into minimizing your own emotions and pain and believing his lies, but you still know the truth in your heart.  You should listen to your intuition and trust your instincts.  When something feels off, that's because something is off.

You have a choice.
You are not bound.
You can leave.

There is sweet freedom and peace available for you, but you have to choose it.

You are too intelligent and strong to fall for his lies again.  You are not being mean or wrong or vengeful to want out of an abusive relationship.  You can forgive him without reconciling.  His repeated actions speak louder than his hollow promises, and he should not be given another chance to destroy you.

It is not wrong or conceited to have self-respect and fight for yourself.  But if that is still a struggle, then walk away for the sake of your children.  God placed you there to protect and to guide them.

It is normal and healthy and okay to feel righteously angry when you are severely mistreated and repeatedly beaten down.  God is angry about that too.  You matter, and you have every right to stand up for yourself and your children.

Take responsibility for your life and your future.  Relationship endings are undoubtedly one of the most painful things any of us will face on earth.  But sometimes it is necessary and leads you to far better things.

It will not be easy.  It will not be pretty.  It WILL be worth it.

Verbal/emotional abuse is still abuse!  Do not discount that or minimize it or make excuses for it.

*Sometimes the infidelity is more than an empty threat, in which case, there is one more Biblically valid reason to leave.

You are not weak.  You are not obligated to make the best of this toxic situation.  And you are NOT stuck.

 You are not crazy or stupid.  The threat is not all in your imagination.  The danger you are sensing is real and is obvious to others.  But your confidence, security, and inner peace are not lost forever.  Choosing a more stable environment will produce a more stable inner and outer life.

 Your life is worth more than he has led you to believe, and you deserve to be treated better. Your confusion and exhaustion are understandable, but there is so much hope.  You are not damaged or broken beyond repair.  There is courage and grit and resilience inside you just waiting for the chance to shine!

...If anyone reading this finds themselves in an unhealthy abusive relationship, the power to change things is entirely in your hands, and you are worth it.  This situation is not God's best for you, and you probably already know that. When you are ready to get out of that mess, people who love you will rally to support you in every way! ❤

Photo Friday!

Here's a few pics from our 4th of July week and some of my favorite memes on that subject. =)

Me, Mom, and Dad at Nancy's!

 Al, Hillary, and Charlene =)

Dad and his sisters: Nancy, Georgia, and Charlene! 

Rach and the Mini Miss K (being a 4th of July butterfly)! 

 Jace trying on a hat a few sizes too big for him. lol

Cuteness! 

Kyndal Faith loves to color! 

A fun swim before we went to Nancy's!  Only my second time in the new pool.  I was thankful the water was much warmer this time! =) 

I got to see the beary-best girlfranz in the world on my way to Mom and Dad's yesterday!  

How cute is Ella-Bellsy!? #presh #boocut

And Sam Puffins was too hyper to get a good pic, as per usual. lol 

 ❤❤❤

Alan putting his feet in the pool with J&K while we watched the MWC fireworks show!

I laughed out loud at this July 3rd meme!  

I need to re-watch Parks and Rec just for Ron Swanson quotes! 

"You're on your own - awesome! Wow!  Do you have a clue what happens now?" 

(From the episode where Michael declares bankruptcy. lolol)

Georgia didn't bring her usual sugar cookies to Nancy's, and Rach and Jace both asked about them at different times.  So she made a batch today and Alan brought them over this morning - so nice!! ❤  They are my fav sugar cookies for sure... yum!

We also had a memorably funny convo at dinner last night where Georgia was talking about my cousin texting her and putting "less than three" at the end, and that she and Alan were confused and asked what that meant and she answered "love."  It took me a second to realize she was talking about the sideways heart, and then I laughed pretty hard as we explained it!

That's all for now.  Hope you had a good 4th and enjoy your weekend!

Blog Day

"The act of writing turns out to be its own reward...  If you are writing the clearest, truest words you can find and doing the best you can to understand and communicate, this will shine on paper like its own little lighthouse.  Writing involves seeing people suffer and finding some meaning therein.  Your job is to see people as they really are, and to do this, you have to know who you are in the most compassionate possible sense.  If something inside you is real, we will probably find it interesting, and it will probably be universal.  So you must risk placing real emotion at the center of your work... Life is like a recycling center where all the concerns and dramas of humankind get recycled back and forth across the universe. But what you have to offer is your own sensibility, maybe your own sense of humor or insider pathos or meaning. All of us can sing the same song, and there will still be four billion different renditions."

~Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird ❤

Eleven years ago on this day, I opened this new blog and wrote my very first post.  (I had a Xanga blog and some MySpace posts at some point before that, but this one is something I have stuck with for over a decade, and that makes me feel proud and thankful.)

Writing can be a very cathartic outlet for me to process my thoughts in hard seasons.  And I am grateful to have so many fun memories and quotes and vacations documented here.  To have a place to pay tribute to the people who shape and influence my life.  A place where I can see God's faithfulness play out through the seasons, where I can look back and see what has changed and what has remained the same.

And I'm thankful that YOU care enough to read!! ❤

I have no plans to shut it down any time soon.  I hope to continue writing and growing, speaking life and coming alive and becoming more honest and courageous in my writing!  I want to focus less on the past (or only on what has value and brings joy), forgetting what lies behind and pressing forward with God!

Anyway, hope you have a wonderful and safe 4th of July tomorrow!!  "Raise a glass to freedom!" =) 
And I hope I get to watch The Patriot at some point.  Huzzah!

(*I did a search for "American flag" on Google Photos and made this happy collage. lol)

Halftime Pep Talk

Happy July, gang!  I decided to do another mid-year update and then give myself a nice fresh start as the second half of 2019 begins today! =)

The word I chose for this year was PERSEVERANCE.  As usual, it has come to mean something different and larger than I originally expected.  I figured it was about working out and achieving some big goals I had in mind there.  It has become more about not losing heart, persevering in hope, and pressing into Christ in the midst of an unexpectedly tough summer.  (The even-numbered years do tend to be better for me across the board, but I believe the next half of this year will have some great moments, as well!)

I am thankful that we are only halfway through the year... there is still lots of time to set new goals and keep working toward those I already set.

I started this year with seven goals:

1. Read through the Bible (NIV this time).  -- I am on track with this one.  Yay!
2. Get connected in a church that loves and honors Christ.  -- I found a new church quickly, and I joined Evergreen in March and have done my best to step out and be friendly at Sunday school and Bible studies and such, but I still feel somewhat disconnected, and I am looking forward to their small groups starting back up in August!
3. Complete the daily workout calendar I made. -- I got off track on the Saturday workouts in June, but I was very consistent the first five months and through the weeks in June, and I plan to get fully back on track now!
4. Track all my food and stay in a certain calorie range. -- I fell off track right around the Vegas trip and never fully jumped back on board.  So I need to "wake up" in that area, to remind myself that it really does matter because my life and future really do matter, and to take responsibility for improving my physical health and strength.
5. Set aside an hour a week for concentrated prayer.  -- I've done pretty well on this one.  I started using the Ransomed Heart App where there are prayers you can listen to and pray along with and praying while I'm at the gym, but I'd like to make it more of a personal prayer journaling thing, maybe broken into three 20-minute segments a week, because there are things I need to work through with God's help, so I want to change what this looks like in the second half of this year!
6. Read one book a month about adoption to prepare myself. -- I read books on adoption and one on pregnancy (a brief consideration), and I've realized I need to reassess a few things and have some important conversations before I really pursue this further.  So it is helping me prepare, but not in the way I had expected.
7. Fill out the one-sentence a day Happiness Project journal. -- I'm on track with that one, as well! =)

I listened to an audiobook recently called "Learned Optimism."  I had to laugh as they described Biblical principles as if they were brilliant new psychological findings.  The author clarified that we all have the ability to choose our thoughts and change the negative patterns... that we can write down the anxious, fearful, or angry thoughts and stop them in their tracks, choosing to argue against them and begin thinking in a healthier way.  Sounded a lot like taking our thoughts captive and breaking agreements with the lies we've begun to believe.  And that is something I want to focus on as the year moves forward.  To pray about and write down the lies I've been telling myself, allowing God to transform my mind and strengthen me.  I do need His strength.  I want my life to reflect more and more love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control! ❤

I've learned that this is part of my personality type's weakness that we believe our own life and personal needs don't matter quite as much as everyone around us... but then we feel irritated but unsure how to confront it when others gradually begin to agree with us and overlook us or treat us poorly.  So as we start the second half of this year, I want to take full responsibility for my own joy - not blaming others or playing the victim when I have the full power to politely speak up and confront anything that consistently bothers me.  (Or to choose not to and to stop complaining or being angry about any of it.)  #myresponsibility #changetheclass #truthinlove

That's all I've got for now.  If you set any resolutions for 2019, I hope they are going well for you.  But if they are not, think of this as the halftime break where you can reassess, regroup, and start again determined to finish strong!  Fresh starts are always good, and the grace of a clean slate is sometimes exactly what we need to keep persevering.

As Lady Mary says, "Let's try and do better in future!" ;-)