Sarah Elizabeth!

Happy Saint Patrick's Day, gang!!  The world is going a bit mad, so I'll be focusing on happy things here.  Today's "Tribute Tuesday" goes to Sarah Elizabeth Heiskell Fulton! ❤

(This update is long overdue - the 2009 version doesn't cut it 11 years later.)  

Sarah Elizabeth, you are awesome because...

• You're my "friend soulmate" as an ENFP, even if it took you a while to believe that was really your personality type! lol
• You're an excellent cook, baker, and dinner party/ game night hostess!
• You are fun, smart, confident, and beautiful inside and out!

• You're a great vacation buddy... Vegas, Big Cedar, Disney, and hopefully more fun trips to come in the future!
• You jump into action quickly and save us all from a cabin fire when the pizza box ignites. Lol

• You're willing to be vulnerable, and you keep it real and call things like you see them, a quality that helps me become more uninhibited and enables me to be honest without feeling judged!
• You have the most beautiful hair, and you're an expert on hair-styling (curling, braiding, etc.)!
• You share my love for "day Vegas" and Mon Ami Gabi brunch, and my philosophy on great food being essential to a good vacation! =)

• You're an exceptional PICU nurse who has helped so many sick children and their families!
• You're intelligent and ambitious and talented, and I fully support you if you decide to go for the CRNA!
• You are genuinely supportive of me in my goals and plans, listening well, communicating honestly, and being a loyal friend I can count on!

• You have a fascinating life story, and your resilience and bold strength shines through after all the things you've survived and overcome!
• You show up and come through for your friends when they need you!
• You're kind and considerate and willing to have difficult conversations and work through things because friendships really matter to you!
• You will speak up and say things that are supportive and validating and needed, and I love that!

• From scavenger hunts to heartfelt FB messages to concerts, vacations, summer swims, Christmas parties, gun ranges, game nights, Bible studies, dinners, global pandemics and more, you're one of my favorite people to talk to and hang out with! =)
• I have a thousand fun memories with you over the past decade+ and hopefully many more to come!!

Thankful for your friendship, and see you soon! =)

Photo Friday!

Happy Friday the 13th on a week that has felt pretty surreal so far!  Today begins an #endlessspringbreak for the Parrish children... CHA students were told to bring everything home, and they're going to try to do online classes now... possibly for the rest of the school year!!  All that's happening right now most likely means our trip to D.C. next month will also be cancelled, but we're not 100% sure yet.  =( It's a class trip they look forward to all year and really all through elementary school, so it'll be sad if it falls apart.  Yes, I realize this is a global pandemic and there are people dying, global closings and cancellations, and a severe economic downturn negatively affecting the vast majority of people right now, but I've never been one to downplay or minimize anyone's individual pain, and I will definitely be sad for T-man if he doesn't get to go on this trip.  The fam's summer Disney trip may also be cancelled or postponed... along with the Olympics, national basketball and baseball, most high school sports, and so many fun spring break trips people were looking forward to all year.  I'm feeling empathy overload right now... it's a crazy time to be alive, but we'll all get through it together.

Anyway, we're almost halfway through March, so here are a few pics from this month that haven't made the blog yet...

Michael and Baylee's baby shower at Boulder Coffee in Sand Springs!

A page from our 2003 scrapbook... ringing in the New Year with the fam + Holly, Megan, Kate, and Jenny Womble... but she must've left before we took the group pic?

I made these old-school collages the week before our mini-reunion. =)  Lots of fun memories with this group!!  (Side note -- I miss Don Pablos!  I want some of their queso right now. lol)

I don't know many people other than my Mom and I who enjoy this, but a baked potato + cottage cheese = fantastic!!  I dare you to give it a try! =)

Random sign at Andolini's that made me laugh.

Andolini's trip #2 (to the one on Cherry Street this time) with JEM and Kelly... they got me this lovely mug from Anthropologie as a bday gift - so nice! =)

Dinner at the Mend Pregnancy Resource banquet last night with the Wilsons, the Townsends, and Steve!

The brownies that had been sitting out were really crunchy and hard to cut through... Steve tried two of them and neither was good, then a waiter brought him cheesecake while someone else went and got him another brownie...

Person who brought him the third brownie to try:  "You know what this looks like now?"

Steve:  "A failed intervention!?" lolol

I have two friends whose nephews were born today, so congrats to Megan and the Wilson fam!!

A meme that made me laugh this week! 

I've made my bed more than usual since Holly came to visit... it's nice having everything super-clean and put together!

2003 to 2020. ❤ #thankful

Elements of the Ridiculous

"I don't think you're an idiot at all. I mean, there are elements of the ridiculous about you.... what I'm trying to say, very inarticulately, is that, in fact, perhaps despite appearances, I like you very much. Just as you are."  ~Mark Darcy, Bridget Jones' Diary

I've always enjoyed that little speech, especially him acknowledging "there are elements of the ridiculous about you." lol  We all have our quirks and flaws and "elements of the ridiculous" in our personalities, but when we really know and love someone enough, we can accept them for who they are and love them through hard times in spite of their flaws, and vice versa.  That makes me happy!

In other news, I'm feeling super burned out and exhausted by the absurd mass panic and constant coronavirus news.  Every email, post, phone call, and face-to-face conversation seems to center on that this week, and the conflicting news reports and advice have become as irritating to me as the morons hoarding toilet paper.  If there were mute words on FB, "coronavirus" would definitely be on my list right now... which would take away 75% of the current posts I'm seeing.  I was listening to a podcast where they discussed this nationwide hysteria, and Melanie Shankle said, "I'm an Enneagram 9, so I really can't engage with it or get worked up about it.  We'll just ride it out and see what happens."  I totally feel her on that, so maybe it's a personality thing.  (Obviously, I wish everyone well - I just can't keep talking about it.)  So I'll stop now.

In happier news, I'm LOVING the longer daylight hours!  The extra sunlight and good weather are bringing me so much joy this season... which is ironic as I'm rarely outdoors. lol

Hope your week has been lovely and memorable, even if there were elements of the ridiculous about it. ;-)

The Joy of Movement

This afternoon, I finished my eighth audiobook and tenth book overall for 2020, sooo my goal of 12 books this year is looking pretty doable! =)  I really enjoyed this one: The Joy of Movement by Kelly McGonigal.

She details the various benefits of physical movement, a very long list including:

• The "persistence high" we get through any prolonged physical exertion
• The antidepressant effects of endorphins and endocannabinoids (chemicals our bodies produce when we exercise)
• The social confidence and sense of community that comes with group exercise
• The ability to "get hooked" on exercise - forming habits that produce cravings for movement and the positive rewards it produces.
• That regular physical activity expands the brain's reward system (making us more engaged and sensitive to all the joys in life) rather than impairing/numbing it the way destructive addictions do.
• The pure collective joy found in activities where we synchronize and move in unison with others (line dancing, yoga, zumba, etc.).
• The way music with motivating lyrics has a strong, positive effect on our ability to endure and literally keep moving when it gets tough
• The way persistence in physical exercise increases our resilience and belief in ourselves in every area of life, making us feel powerful and strong and capable of overcoming obstacles in our path!
• How getting outside and working out in nature helps us to embrace life, clear our minds, and connect more deeply with God, ourselves, and others.

A few quotes that I relate to and feel inspired by:

"I am not a morning person, but I have learned to drag myself out from under the covers and exercise before I do anything else.  For me, it's a survival strategy.  I want to face the day as the version of myself who takes over by the time I'm done with my workout: braver, more optimistic, and ready to face whatever challenges await me!"

"His longstanding go-it-alone, do-it-yourself approach to life has been one of the triggers for his depression.  He describes the mindset as the sense of being alone, being responsible for living up to 100% of my potential in every aspect, being the best I can be, and I have to do it all myself.  Having his coach run alongside him and not feeling like this was a crutch was a revelation.  He told me, 'I was coming to appreciate that I was still doing it myself, but I had a friend there that I was sharing it with, and that didn't mean I was incapable!'"

*In the last chapter, she wrote about this Olympic moment from 1992, and even listening to the story without the video made me cry...

"When movement brings out the best in us, it does so by making us happy - not only through short-lived feelings of pleasure or pride, but also in the deepest sense of the word - the happiness that comes from having a sense of purpose and belonging, the happiness of feeling connected to something bigger than yourself, the happiness that is best described as hope." ❤

"If you're looking for a guideline, it's this: MOVE! Any kind, any amount, in any way that makes you happy.  Move whatever parts of your body still move, with gratitude.  Move by yourself and in community.  Move in your home.  Move outdoors.  Move to music or in silence.  Set goals that are personally meaningful.  Take baby steps, then conquer a big stretch.  Seek out new experiences and explore new identities.  Pay attention to how activities make you feel and how they change you.  Listen to your body; give yourself permission to do what feels good.  Revel in metaphor and meaning.  Look for places, people, and communities that inspire you and make you feel welcomed!  Keep following the thread of joy as long as you can." ❤

And now I'm off to a holy yoga class that I signed up for while reading the "Collective Joy" chapter!

Holly Dei Weekend ;-)

The ever-fabulous Holly Dei came to visit this weekend!  I picked her up at the Tulsa Airport on Friday, and after settling in and changing, we had dinner at Andolini's and caught up on each other's lives, families, politics, and future plans.  It was really good and fun to reconnect with her!  I hadn't seen her since 2012, but we have more in common now than I expected, which is always a good surprise! =)

On Saturday, we drove to OKC (she caught up on work emails while I sang along to Hamilton songs).  We met up with the whole fam at Jace's first CHA soccer game, which was cute and fun in spite of the crazy Oklahoma winds!

We came to Mom and Dad's for lunch, where Holly tried hoverboarding with some assistance from T-man (I've definitely never set foot on one, so I was impressed with her for that). lol  She quickly became a favorite of the kids, and it was fun to see her giving them high fives and encouraging them as they showed her all their latest tricks! =)

Holly requested Chick-Fil-A for lunch, which worked out pretty well for the hypersensitive palate of the kid on her left. lol (They both requested to sit by her!)

Kate arrived around 2:30 and brought her new baby, Evelyn! ❤

Mom wrote letters to Kate and Holly, so I took this pic as they opened them. =)  Holly had some very kind and heartfelt things to say about Mom, so it was nice for them to reconnect, as well!

Group pic of the girls before Megan arrived!

Holly, Rach, Kate, and Megan were all part of CHA's class of 2004.  (*Fun fact: I was homeschooled for one year in 8th grade, which was their 6th grade year and the year Megan's fam joined CHA... so that was when I befriended their class and began to prefer hanging out with them to my own classmates, and it stayed that way throughout high school and beyond.) =)

J was excited to get to hold the baby!

Megan is extra-busy lately, teaching at OBU while studying to get her PhD in Nursing Education!!  She joined us around 4:00 and we got a pic with all of us before Kate left to return home to Dallas! ❤

Mom joined me, Rach, Megan and Holly for dinner downtown at Abuelo's, followed by Insomnia cookies and a mini-tour so Holly could see what was new in downtown OKC. =)  Our convo at Abuelo's was memorable, going around the circle one by one and giving a life update followed by Q&A.  Holly was very generous and bought our dinner (along with my dinner Friday and lunch on Saturday), and when Mom objected and tried to get the ticket, Holly said, "Maxine!  Remember all the things you bought me and did for me throughout high school!? Well, just think of it as you get to buy 100 times, and then your 101th is free!!" lol  (It was a very Holly thing do say, and it randomly made me happy that she said 101th instead of 101st. lol)

We went by the Parrish house to drop Rach off and say goodbye to the kids, then we chatted a bit more with Mom in the car... then Holly and I made the late night drive back to Tulsa.  Sunday was the time change, which means we get longer daylight hours, and I'm already loving that!  We slept in and then met Sarah for lunch at Mother Road Market (my first time there, and it was pretty cool - HW and I had Oklahoma Joe's BBQ while Sarah had Chicken and the Wolf).  We covered a long list of topics, and it was fun seeing her and Holly's interaction!  We all got ice cream, then ate it as we chatted in the car...

...and as Chet patiently waited on us at the Gathering Place Lodge. lol

It was a chilly, windy, cloudy day, so Holly decided a walk through the park was a no-go.  She is still as decisive as ever, knowing exactly what she wants and how she wants it, and I love it! lol  Steve met us around 4:30 when he got off drill, and we made our own "vignette" chair arrangement and chatted for a while in the Lodge, which was new to me and really nice - I'm a fan and should go back there more often! =)

Chet went home to have a healthy WW meal (he's 15 pounds down already, so I need to rejoin him and try to hit the 20-pound mark at the same time). lol  The Fultons went home to change clothes and tend to Loki, and Holly and I met Laura at Red Rock, where the Fultons eventually joined us again for dinner.  It was tasty food and another good, long convo... everything from our individual jobs to politics to Coronavirus to Grey's Anatomy to the royal family. lol

Back at home, Holly and I talked for a bit about how I should come visit her in San Francisco and tour Napa Valley sometime (and other possible future vacations).  Then we said our goodbyes and went to bed so I could rest up for the jury trial that ended up going away today (yay!!).  She left this afternoon to head to Dallas and San Antonio, then back to SF.

Less than three months into 2020, the connection theme is going strong for me!  It was Holly's signature blunt advice of "If you're not happy about how things ended, you should at least try to reach out and do something about it" to Sarah Bliss that caused her to reach out and reconnect with me in December.  When Sarah told me that, I could totally hear Holly saying it!  It made me laugh, then it inspired me to reach out with kindness to another friend, which led to another very unexpected reconciliation that same month.  I messaged Holly to tell her thanks for her words that created a positive ripple effect... and she messaged back saying she loved that and would LOVE to come see me and hang out with Rach and Megan again!  The month of March ended up working out for her schedule, and Kate was in town seeing her family this weekend, so everything lined up for the five of us to reconnect... and it was good, better than expected!

I tend to get irrationally nervous about these things, but I'm thankful it all worked out!  I have no desire to turn back time or go backwards on any life progress I've made, but there's something really great about reconnecting with people who knew you "way back when" and still love you. We spent a small amount of time reminiscing, but there was so much new stuff to discuss!  This weekend made me feel more hopeful about future gatherings with old friends and thankful for the five women I've reconnected with over the past three months!  It was fun introducing Holly to the niece and nephews and seeing her connect with them, and then doing the same with some of my Tulsa friends, all of whom she loved!  With the CHA girls, it was fun to see the way each of our lives have progressed and changed, and to encourage each other in that and in future goals (adoption, marriage, school programs, etc). We agreed during our Abuelo's dinner that "we're all gems." ❤

Other Holly quotes that made me laugh:

• To Mom:  "Maxine, you're so lucky to get to see your grandchildren every day!!  I mean, think about Prince Charles...he never gets to see Archie!"  She was totally serious, but we definitely all laughed.
• Touring Mom and Dad's house:  "Is this not the biggest refrigerator you've seen in your life?  I mean, that's the size of some people's apartments!  OMG, it has Mike Muecke water!!!" (Dad's SF labels on the water bottles. lol)
• To Steve after he told us about their fitness test:  "But WHY do you have to be in this good of shape when you have guns!?"  I hadn't really thought of that. lol
• Talking to me about the 2020 elections:  "I mean, if Trump's gonna win it anyway, then Bernie might as well get the nomination, because those debates and the SNL skits that followed would be comedy GOLD!"  ...She's not wrong.
• After spending lots of time with all four kids:  "Maybe I should rethink this adoption thing - that was exhausting! I need a nap!" ...I've had the same thought a few times, but one kid vs. four is a big difference.
• She insisted on listening to Gypsies, Tramps, & Thieves; It's All Coming Back to Me Now; and Total Eclipse of the Heart in the car for old times' sake, holding up an invisible mic for me to belt it out on that last one! lol 
• "So if I do end up settling, then this conversation never happened!!"

Relationships

*spoiler alert*

Well, Grey's Anatomy just ruined years of fantastic character growth and development, having Alex Karev leave his beloved wife, respected career, and loyal best friend to go back to a woman who left him heartbroken and hasn't been a part of the show for ten years.  It was genuinely frustrating to watch, and a good reminder that you need to fight to hold on to personal growth and healthy relationships and not let anything from the past pull you back into an unhealthy place (although they were trying to make it look like a good decision on his part).

I've dealt with some relational tension and anxiety over the past few months that has manifested in physical symptoms of stress.  I know disconnecting is not the answer, so I need to do a better job of acknowledging it and working through it -- not online, but with God and maybe friends and/or a therapist, and Peloton workouts. lol  I've identified with Meredith on some level since I wrote this post a couple years ago, so I kinda liked Alex telling her, "you're your own damn person." But I also hated it because it means the person who's most important to her is leaving AGAIN, and that does tend to wear on you.  On that note, my other new goal is to stop over-identifying my personal life and relationships with Grey's... because indeed my life is far less dramatic than anything produced by Shonda Rhimes. lol  

I am thankful that God is a gracious and trustworthy author who works all things together for my good and His glory... and it would be really good for my soul to feel that truth and remember and trust that more deeply!

Mmkay I'm out of time today.  I'm about to go pick Holly up from the airport, and it should be a fun weekend of catching up and reconnecting ahead!  More on all that later.  Hope you're having a happy Friday, and hope it's a lovely weekend ahead!

One year later

One year ago today, Grandad got up and got dressed to go have breakfast with his best friend, Buster.  I'm sure they chatted and played dominoes and had a good time, then he probably met Babah at Virginia's Cafe and enjoyed talking to all his friends there.  He had a normal day, walking and talking and laughing and eating and reading and listening and telling stories, and he went to bed that night expecting to do the same thing the next day...

I've been thinking about that a bit this week - how this day last year was his last "good" day, the last day things felt normal for him, the last day he could walk and use his left arm and swallow food and take care of himself without great effort and constant assistance.  

He had a stroke while at breakfast with Buster on March 5, 2019, and the effects were sudden and devastating.  His next four months were spent at Mercy Rehab Hospital, then Bradford Village nursing home, where he rapidly lost 50 pounds because he was unable to eat solid foods or drink water without thickening powder.  He was finally released to move back home in July (with rotating nurses and others who helped care for him), and after celebrating his 90th birthday, he died and moved on to Heaven last August, which I've already written about a lot here.

I miss him.  I can see God's grace in the timing of so many things, looking back on it.  And thinking about this particular day makes me feel very aware that time moves quickly and none of us know (or control) what tomorrow will bring for us or the people we love.  So we should take that to heart and make the most of our time and relationships and health today in the seemingly ordinary, present moment... we should be thankful for the little things we tend to take for granted, and trust in God's goodness and sovereignty over our future. ❤

"Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise,

making the best use of the time, because the days are evil."

~Ephesians 5:15-16

"The course of my life is in Your power;

rescue me from the power of my enemies and from my persecutors."

~Psalm 31:15

"Yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring--what your life will be!

For you are like vapor that appears for a little while, then vanishes.

What you should say is this: 'If the Lord is willing, we will live and do this or that.'"

~James 4:14-15

"Teach us to number our days carefully

so that we may develop wisdom in our hearts."

~Psalm 90:12