10 - Waking the Dead

Day 10: A Book You Love - Discuss.

This book was the rope God threw me when I was at the bottom of a very deep pit, the lifesaver when I was drowning in a current I could not stop or control. Not to be dramatic or anything. lol

My best friend at the time, Natalie Gruenberg (her maiden name), knew a bit of what I was going through and highly recommended it, saying it was a huge help to her dad after the loss of her mom.  I read it a year after Josh's letter that resulted in being shunned by eight of my closest Christian friends, shortly after Blake's initial diagnosis with brain tumors, and five months after Daniel's untimely and unexplained death.  My faith in God was completely shaken and hanging by a thin thread.  I had done a pendulum swing from the strict legalism of CHA to the charismatic word-of-faith mindset with Josh... so when I prayed with my whole heart for God to heal Blake and Daniel (and restore my relationship with Josh), I sincerely wondered if I'd done something unforgivable that was causing Him to ignore me and all my prayers, and in the season when all my closest friends had scattered and stopped accepting my calls, it felt very much like God had abandoned me and turned away, too. 

It was July 2008 when I read this book, the same month I started blogging to give myself and outlet to help process things, and when I finally started healing.  In the wake of the stormy trifecta, I had become so confused about who God was and how He worked and what my life was worth, et cetera.

Enter John Eldredge, a strong man of God that I could never say enough good things about. The two of us will be close in heaven, I'm sure of it! :)  He's my favorite author because he writes the way I think and makes me feel less alone. He is often poetic and inspiring, but he addresses the deeper questions and the hard issues without sugarcoating it or pretending that life here is perfect.  He talks about his own experience with betrayal and with the death of his best friend, he is very serious about spiritual warfare and the role it plays in our lives here, and he knows God on a level that few people reach with Him!  His statement that you can't claim a promise God has not given was huge for me. And so was the reminder that God cares about my heart being fully alive, and He is capable of using everything Satan has thrown to harm me for good in the end. I really do admire and adore John.  And this book specifically came at a time when I needed it most. As the title suggests, my heart was dying, and this book reawakened me to the LIFE and love and grace and presence of God!