MARCH 2023!

 QUOTE OF THE MONTH:

"The burden of telling our individual story is, ironically, the same thing that made it bearable:  We were not alone in it.  Perhaps we felt we were, but the truth is the threads of other people's lives are inevitably knotted into ours."
~Beth Moore

Victories, Big and Small:

• First full calendar month off sweets, possibly ever, but at least since high school.  I'm proud of this one! (And thankful Lent is over April 7th! lol)
• Praying through one year at a time has been good/helpful!
• WW budgeting - tracked it all and spent every point I had, but never went over.
• I am officially down 30lbs since January 17th - yay!  This is a milestone number for me as it's the most weight I've ever lost consecutively (back in 2009)... but I plan to surpass that and hit bigger milestones this time.  (P.S.  It may not be super apparent just yet, because this also means I'm back at the weight I was when I moved last April... I did a gradual gain over 10 careless months, but it has come off steadily with 1.5 months of focused health efforts).  Anyway, I'm on a good trajectory with good momentum now, and I plan to keep the healthy streak going - focusing on my daily habit system more than specific goals or outcomes!
• School = my busiest semester thus far, but I'm rising to the challenge and doing well - only three weeks to go (but they will be the most challenging - prayers appreciated)!
• Applied for Practicum and Internship with two Christian counseling firms that seem appealing... setting interviews up for April!

Partial Successes/Areas for Improvement:

• I haven't been getting enough sleep this month, and I plan to take that more seriously in April!
• I'm noticing I procrastinate pretty hard when any school project feels intimidating and overwhelming... I want to get better at diving right in and getting through it faster.  In writing and in school projects, getting started is often the hardest part for me!

Memories:

• Hamilton, round 3 with fun Tulsa friends!
• Lots of emailing with Rach - reminding me of her days at State Farm!
• Our second memorable virtual court hearing with a certain defendant
• Two rounds of hospital stays + daily visits + advocacy with Mom
• Learning that the divorce was finalized.
• A family dinner with Holly, then another with Kate
• T-man got his permit and went on his first trip out of the country!
• I seriously considered and looked into getting T-Swift tickets and taking him (he's also a fan)... but $800 feels too absurd for tickets that don't include an actual seat.
• Loving the live book club with Beth Moore!

March Pics = Upper Crust with the fam and Holly. Hamilton with the Wilsons and JEM.  CFA with Kristin and the boys. Olive Garden with the Foster fam.  Parker E. letting me hold her.  Burgers by Jace fam dinner (more on that event soon).  Several hospital days and nights with Mom.  My new Spring shoes - yay for a cute bow! lol

*P.S.  Kristin, I select the photos then Google Photos creates the collage for me - I would never have cropped you out! lol

*P.P.S. The guy helping with Mom's blood transfusion did something wrong and some of it went into the saline bag - gross.  She took that picture then texted me about how clueless he was. lol

Listened to:

• The four audiobooks mentioned HERE + portions of my class textbooks!
• The usual podcasts =)

Lessons Learned:

• From personal experience - Tracking my next day's meals and workouts at the end of the night before is helping a lot with WW and Peloton consistency!  I can be flexible and change it up when I need to, but having a plan in my mind is super helpful for me in terms of not overthinking or overdoing it with food!
• From nurse friends, Kristie and Sarah - Sepsis is very serious and potentially deadly, and they should never have sent Mom home knowing she had it.
• From Aundi Kolber's book - Feeling loved, safe, and hopeful give us the power to heal and build resilience!!  Thanks for contributing to that in my life, long-term friends and fam!

Our March has been surprisingly cold and dreary, so I'm hoping April will feel more Spring-y!!  Hope you've had a good month, and hope you have a great weekend ahead!  *And remember not to fall for any April Fools pranks tomorrow! =)

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

Strength and Safety

After weeks of being fully caught up, I got three new transcript orders yesterday afternoon!  And I have a fair amount of school work to do by Sunday.  So naturally, I am here... because I was writing a blog in my head while getting ready for work this morning, which means it feels urgent in my mind, like it needs to be written down before I forget it. lol  Such is my life.  I'm giving myself a time limit this morning.

This is the only picture I have of me, Judge Golden, and Laura Allison.  On this day last year, he took us to lunch at the end of my last Jury Term in Creek County... (the day after I learned I got the job here and submitted my resignation letter and told my closest friends about my upcoming move).  *This pic was going to mildly tie into a second subject I planned to cover in this post, but I ran out of time. lol

I'm on a time crunch, so I'm jumping right into this...

The vast majority of the men I have known in my personal life are GOOD men -- genuine, generous, fun, wise, and encouraging.  They use their God-given strength/authority to protect and uplift the women and children in their lives.  They matter deeply to me, and I am truly grateful to know them!  I am better for it.

Unsurprisingly, they shine brighter to me as they help to counterbalance the massive damage I've seen elsewhere.  They stand in stark contrast to most of the men I've seen in our courtroom.  Broken, arrogant, destructive men who use their physical strength to intimidate, to threaten, to abuse, to molest, to rape, to be violent and emotionally abusive with the women and children in their lives.  Men who are the very definition of toxic masculinity, although I prefer not to call it masculinity at all.  As the keeper of the court exhibits, I have seen many graphic photos of women who have been beaten bloody or strangled or stabbed, of children who have been abused or assaulted or raped.  Domestic abuse and child molestation make up a disturbing number of the cases on our criminal docket... and I am verrrry aware that the cases that get reported and make it to court reflect a small percentage of the actual incidents occurring.  I have watched so many young girls courageously testifying against the perverse men who forever altered their sense of safety and innocence.  My heart goes out to them... I can feel their pain, hypervigilance, and sometimes misplaced embarrassment.  I want so much to help them believe that none of it was their fault.  I've listened to firsthand accounts from children, teenagers, and grown women of how abusive men have violated, hurt, and traumatized them.  I've seen the tears, the anger, the fear, the lasting pain, and the emotional conflict it creates when they still feel protective love for their abuser.  And I will undoubtedly hear and see more of that in my future career as an LPC.

Of course, I have also listened to and learned from Beth Moore and Joyce Meyer, both survivors of childhood sexual abuse at the hands of their own fathers, men they should have been able to trust deeply.  These stories get to me.  For obvious reasons, it bothers me that much more when it's men who claim the name of Christ... or worse yet, men who hold leadership roles within the church.  It makes me thankful for the justice and vengeance of God - something I try to rest in when I feel myself getting too riled up over certain cases (or situations closer to me).

Aundi's book talked a lot about how people need LOVE, SAFETY, and HOPE in order to heal from trauma.  It makes sense to me that children in broken family systems where they are not heard or protected or treated with dignity would struggle to find those things and heal from abuse.  And it makes the light of Jesus that much more important and transformative.  When our identity is deeply rooted in Him, we grow to feel an embodied sense of love, safety, and hope that holds strong even when people fail us -- knowing He is always with us, nothing can separate us from His love, and we have an unshakable hope ahead no matter what happens here on earth!

I am grateful that I am not a survivor of abuse, but I want to do everything in my power to advocate for, support, strengthen, and empower the women and men who have been victimized to find safety, real love, and hope!  I empathize and care very deeply, and I'm thankful that I'll be able to offer more help as a counselor.  This is all part of the reason that I teared up watching the hall-of women supporting the rape survivor on Grey's Anatomy.  And it's the main reason it is so infuriating and repulsive to me when powerful men who casually claim the name of Christ when it serves them turn right around and misuse their powerful positions, speaking viciously and behaving in a way that further empowers abusers and degrades trauma survivors.  The name of Christ should always represent a true strength that brings love, safety, hope, and healing.

"Look at My servant, whom I strengthen.  He is my Chosen One in whom I delight... He will not crush those who are weak or quench the smallest hope. He will bring full justice to all who have been wronged."  Isaiah 42:1-3

Mmm, that's all the time I budgeted for today. lol  We clearly live in a society that tends to glorify strong performance and winning over strong character and empathy.  That's unlikely to change any time soon.  Still, within my growing scope of influence, I want to be sure to notice, celebrate, esteem, and honor good men who use their strength to protect rather than intimidate... men whose lives and leadership strategies better reflect the heart of Christ... men who cause those with less power to feel loved and safe and hopeful about the future!! ❤

March Book Reviews!

 March has been an excellent month for books!! ❤  Four strong female authors (three  of them Christian, two of them counselors) writing books that sharpen and strengthen people - I hope and plan to join them in a few years! =)

1.  All My Knotted-Up Life: A Memoir by Beth Moore

I adore Beth and have for years now - her heart for God, her humor and compassion, and her grace under fire!  A Covid meme I loved read: "God was upset someone told Beth Moore to go home, so He made us all go home." lol  I was so thrilled to join the live book club Crowdcast meeting with her and Mel and Sophie tonight - it did not disappoint!! ❤ .....Anyway, much like Beth's actual life story, this book starts off a little rough but builds into something magnificent, beautiful, brilliant, and God-honoring!  I wasn't connecting with the first couple chapters, but that changed quickly, and by the end, I was laughing, crying, and talking to her while I listened to her read the audiobook -- lots of Amens and "YES, Beth!" lol  Her story includes childhood trauma and incestual sexual abuse; an unstable mother and an evil, abusive father who put on a good show in church; a visceral panic attack when a ministry-related conversation caused her buried memories of abuse to rise up... followed by months of mental health struggles and intensely personal healing work with God; walking with loved ones as they wrestled with serious mental health issues - compassion and empathy just flow from her there; a personal account of her walk with Jesus and a few of the resulting Bible studies and books she has authored; and, of course, her experience and the aftermath of being berated, bullied, and belittled by a power-hungry, Bible-study-burning religious mob after eloquently confronting evangelical leaders who excused and trivialized sexual assault in order to retain their power within the church and/or politics.

Favorite Quote:  “In my admittedly limited understanding, ‘boys being boys’ who grab girls by their genitals are boys being boys committing acts that are criminal.  Sexual immorality is one thing; this moved into the realm of sexual criminality...  Most either remained silent or actually offered excuses.  My own brothers in the faith... I thought about my story and hundreds of others I had heard.  I thought about how maddeningly difficult it is to get people who haven’t been victimized to care, to comprehend the reverberating repercussions of the actions of those who think they have the right to force themselves on another.  The audacity it takes to joke about it like it’s nothing.  Like we’re nothing.  ...I had lived too long now to buy the lie that keeping your mouth shut protects the family’s interests.  No.  It doesn’t.  A family that provides a safe space for abusive people to remain unrepentant and unchanged and unaccountable is already shattered...  I wanted to use what God-given influence I had to come alongside others in making [the sense of superiority that was leading to intensifying racism and sexism] right.  Part of a shift - not toward liberalism, for crying out loud - toward Christlikeness.”  ~Beth Moore (from Chapter 20)

This "live book club" experience was so much joy and fun - along with some poignant, sacred moments - I just love them all!!

2.  Lessons in Chemistry by Bonnie Garmus

(Spoiler alert) - This one was recommended on a podcast and by Sarah Elizabeth.  The cutesy book cover had me expecting some lighthearted chick-lit silliness.  Then the story began with a female graduate student being raped by her supervisor and then fired and dismissed by authorities when she tried to report it - yikes, that caught my attention.  It took me a while to figure out how the book cover had anything to do with what's inside, but it's the pencil in her hair (a tool she used to fight back while being assaulted, then she often kept a pencil in her hair through the remainder of the story - I liked that).  This story is set in the 1960s, but the main character, Elizabeth, is living by today's societal values (many of which are not aligned with Christian values, as we know).  As an intelligent chemist and a single mom with big dreams, she faced rampant sexism from men and women alike.  She formed a few solid friendships and eventually used her demoted role to become a leader whose confident voice empowered stay-at-home moms to see the value in their daily work and to believe in their own personal value.  I loved those elements of this book, along with how she weaves in metaphors that compare scientific and relational chemistry.  There were mini-speeches on atheism and evolution that I disagreed with, but it was still interesting and worthwhile to hear this author's perspective on those topics.  Overall, I appreciate and applaud her book debut!

Favorite Quote:  “'Often the best way to deal with the bad,' she said, feeling for her pencil, 'is to turn it on end—use it as a strength, refuse to allow the bad thing to define you. Fight it.  ...Whenever you feel afraid, just remember courage is the root of change, and change is what we're chemically designed to do... Do not allow your talents to lie dormant, ladies.  When you go home today, ask yourself what YOU will change. And then get started.'” -Elizabeth Zott (via Bonnie Garmus)

3.  Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone by Brene Brown

The third book I've read by Brene, and it was my favorite so far!  She writes about finding the courage to stand apart from the crowd, speaking up for your beliefs and values rather than people-pleasing in order to fit in.  And she writes about the power of true belonging -- feeling an embodied, internal sense of belonging and purpose (something I have in Christ), and forming authentic connections with people who love you enough to stick around through difficult conversations (I have a few of those friends and treasure them).

Favorite Quote: "True belonging is not passive.  It's not the belonging that comes with just joining a group.  It's not fitting in or pretending or selling out because it's safer.  It's a practice that requires us to be vulnerable, get uncomfortable, and learn how to be present with people without sacrificing who we are.  We want true belonging, but it takes tremendous courage to knowingly walk into hard moments.” ~Brene Brown

4.  Strong Like Water: Finding the Freedom, Safety & Compassion to Move Through Hard Things & Experience True Flourishing by Aundi Kolber

This is the second wonderful book I've read by Aundi, a Christian counselor who is my age.  I love her gentle wisdom, and I learned a lot about the differences in situational strength vs. transitional strength vs. integrated strength... and how we need each of these in different seasons of life.  Sometimes we get stuck in intense situational strength for too long and need help to move through trauma and return to a softer, integrated strength.  She offers some practical tips about emotional regulation and growth.  And she emphasizes the importance of building safe connections and staying in our "window of tolerance."  She is a gifted, trauma-informed therapist and author, so several of her stories and suggestions feel helpful to me as a counselor-in-training.  I enjoyed this book, and I feel thankful to have read it at this point in my school journey!

Favorite Quote:  "The resilience is in the repair - not the wounding... Ultimately, our tethering to love, hope, and safety is what makes us truly strong... In this space, we feel pain, but we are not swallowed by it.  Love, hope, and safety allow us to leverage, risk, and face hard things from a place of resourcefulness that is unavailable to us in survival mode."

*This month was also the first time that I had already read one of the assigned reading books for school in my Crisis & Trauma class:  The Body Keeps the Score.  Hooray for that!

I am extra thankful today for the way vulnerability and courage combine to create books that shape our lives and help us grow.  Happy Tuesday, friends!

Monday Memes & More

 Me most of this past weekend...

Yes, please, Jesus!!

This sounds more like the thoughts of a cat than a dog, although I doubt people would cheer the same way for a cat. lol

Lol

❤

This = me way too often! lol

Ha bring on the memes!

Truth.

#Boundaries

Lol so many good memes from Chet Lee!

Side note - we've had a couple virtual hearings lately that were the furthest thing from boring!

She really does look like a totally different person as Jovie on Elf vs. Jess on New Girl!

MJ with all the swagger. lol 

Much easier said than done.

That's all for the memes today.  This fabulous weekend with Kristin was exactly one year ago, starting the day after I interviewed for the job in Cleveland County!

Mark Anthony's 30th birthday was this week!  Haven't known him as long, but he's one of my favorite guy friends!  He's a great leader for his family, and I'm a fan of his kindness, authenticity, wisdom, and sense of humor... I hope the 30s will be a fantastic decade ahead for him!

Two good and important things happened on Friday.  First, Mom was released to come back home from the hospital (after her third stay in the first three months of this year).  We are super thankful for Kristie right now (Mom's CHA-mom friend and a retired nurse).  She's the reason I stayed with Mom that night in the ER (which turned out to be a great decision)... and she came over on Saturday and again on Sunday to help care for Mom, confirming our thoughts on what went wrong and explaining some important things the doctors and nurses at OU Hospital failed to cover.  

This = Jay, Meghan, Kristie, and Mike... our CHA family friends from way back!

Secondly... I'm trying to phrase this tactfully... I am legally no longer anyone's sister-in-law.  Almost 2.5 years after the initial filing in December 2020, they've reached a divorce agreement and the Judge officially signed off on Friday.  A few of you know it's been quite the journey, and I believe this is for the best.  For the sake of their children whom I love dearly, I don't feel the freedom to write more about it here.

This quote from one of my textbooks resonated with me:

"Scars are something people try to hide.  Christ's will endure for all eternity.  The victory of Jesus... comes by way of the scars and the suffering.  Do you hear the hope in that for victims of trauma?  Nothing you can do will make it as if that tragedy did not happen.  Those who have been traumatized by abuse, violence, war, or earthquakes will never be the same.  The message of the scars in the resurrected Christ is not that the resurrection takes the suffering away, but rather that the resurrection catches it up into God's glory.  When we get to eternity, the most beautiful thing there will be the scars of Jesus Christ."

~Diane Langberg, Suffering and the Heart of God 

❤ ❤ ❤

Thankful Thursday #157

"Not to us, O Lord, not to us, but to Your name goes all the glory
for Your unfailing love and faithfulness!"  ~Psalm 115:1

Today, I am thankful for:

1.  Mom.  For her love and fierce support of her family, and for God's ongoing protection and healing... I'm very grateful to see her lab numbers improving!  They've placed another drain this morning, and we're very hopeful that this will be resolved without major surgery!

(Her bday dinner at The Ranch this year!)

2.  Chet Lee.  For the ongoing support and dependability, the iron-sharpens-iron effect, and all the laughter this friendship brings me...  I'm thankful for him calling multiple times lately to check in about Mom, and sending random fun memes in the middle of some serious conversations. =)

(Having an appetizer croissant while waiting on me to show up for my own bday party at Charleston's! lol)

3.  Kristin Michelle.  For feeling heard and understood in hard seasons, and supported in pursuing new goals... I'm grateful we live closer now, and for our Wednesday night walks and talks!!

(Humoring me for a Pistol Pete pic at the OSU game!)

4.  Jeffrey Edward.  For his kindness, curiosity, and generosity of spirit... I'm thankful for his thoughtful questions and entertaining quotes (saving up for a future Quotables post). =)

(Repping the Baylor Bears at their New Year's Eve party!)

5.  Sarah Elizabeth.  For mutual support as we both pursue big educational/career/life goals... I'm grateful for lots of great memories together, and for knowing our friendship is solid even in this busy season where we are unable to connect as often.

(At Kate's 1st bday party last summer!)

6.  Ashley Ann.  For her wonderful blog I've followed for over a decade, and for the fun of following their family's world trip via Instagram now... mostly, I am grateful for her adoption story and her strong example as a Mom who supports the unique interests of each of her children and allows them healthy independence backed by parental connection and support!

7.  Hospitals.  The ER stay was rough, and I've been frustrated this week with some negligent medical care and overworked nurses/doctors facing burnout who seem a bit apathetic.  And yet, I am reminding myself to be grateful for the ones who do show up and take the time to connect and care for their patients well... and feeling very thankful for God's provision of solid medical care that sustains life and supports healing!!

(Collage = Jace's hand surgery, the birth of the Miss K, Grandad after his stroke, Frankie and Kristin before the twins were born, Dad recovering from sepsis and pneumonia, Mom pre-surgery in January, Wilsons post C-section on Tate's birth-day, Jessica visiting the Mosses on Ellie's bday, Mom taking a walk after her back surgery in 2016)

Yay, God!  Yay, framily!  Yay, good doctors and nurses!  

That's all I've got for you today.  Happy Thursday!

A. Ham

Saturday morning, I drove down to Tulsa to meet Chet Lee, Karli Marie, and Jeffrey Edward to see Hamilton — yay!!  (We missed Kelly Marie, who was at home taking care of precious newborn Henry Edward and his older sister, Ellie Faye).  This was my third time seeing the play, and the first time for everyone else!

First, we met for a WW-friendly lunch at Taziki's on Cherry Street!  We had a good talk, and I had JEM get a photo of our table. =)  The guys had some kind words about my JMM blog, and some questions about the timeline of that portion of my life story.  That got us talking about other long-lost friends, when we all met, past trips, possible future trips, etc.  The guys were entertaining and fun, and our talk made me think about God's timing and goodness!  ...Later that night, I found myself thinking about how we all know our own stories inside and out, but others only know certain pieces really well, and how I'd like to write more of mine down and weave the story together in a way that glorifies God and gives others hope... (while being vulnerable and genuine about the hard, messy stuff and striving not to share anything that would be hurtful to the people I love.)  A worthy future goal, and one that may require a bit of God-honoring relational work in the meantime! 

I always love these talks with close friends!  And the added element of sharing things that once would’ve sent me into a shame spiral, but now I feel secure and valued and free to talk about it all - that meant something to me too.  It makes me happy to think how we all still have a lot to learn about each other... and thanks to John Eldredge, I think often how I'm so glad we get all of eternity to keep these conversations going.  The ongoing, vital, joyful sense of truth-and-love community and support is one of the things I most look forward to in the coming Kingdom.  We get glimpses and previews of it here on earth, and it always delights my soul! ❤

Anyway, now back to Hamilton! lol  Chet Lee drove my car (Ginny the Genesis), and we all rode together to the Tulsa PAC.  Chet bought our lunch and Jeffrey paid for parking and got all our drinks before the show... I’m so grateful for their kindness and chivalry, and really glad we all got to do this together!

"Raise a glass to the four of us.  Tomorrow, there'll be more of us..." ❤

"The room where it happens" ...you just can't go to Hamilton and not take a photo with this caption! lol

Karli and I rented binoculars just for fun... we turned them in at Intermission because our seats were close enough that the binoculars were unnecessary and felt too zoomed in.  (Yay for that!)  It was fun seeing the details on some of the costumes, though!  I noticed the quote on the back of my program later that night, and it made me smile. =)

In spite of the audio being slightly muffled and the volume a bit too low, our cast was really great!  And the story is just powerful and epic.  We talked about our favorite songs and actors/actresses, and it was fun hearing everyone's thoughts!

My first time seeing Hamilton was in 2019 with Laura Allison and Susie (her mom) at the OKC Civic Center!

And the second was with Steve and Sarah Elizabeth in Arkansas!  All fun!

I'm actually writing this from Mom's ER room around 3am, trying to use this sleepless night wisely. lol  And that’s all I have for you today!

So many great lyrics!  Hooray for Lin Manuel!!

“Look around, look around at how lucky we are to be alive right now!” ❤️

Life Lately

Fun Fact:  On this day last year, after talking with a few close friends and family members, I applied for the Cleveland County job.  Things went fast from there.  (And on this day this year, I can see lots of reason why that move was for the best... even though I do firmly believe I will be back in Tulsa someday.)

So Kristin and the boys joined me for CFA lunch on the Friday of their Spring Break!  I was happy to hear from Diesel about his science fair project, from Wesson about his finger injury, and from Nash about his love of blueberries (I let them finish off my fruit cup)! lol 

Outside full group pic where we were staring directly into the sun...

And one from the other side! lol

A Chettles business meme that made me very happy last week!

Even in her septic and exhausted state, Mom got the kids fun gifts for their return home at the end of Spring Break... here's Rach and K-Faith playing with the Skip-It thing whilst Jace builds the new Transformer Mamaw got him!

A much-needed mental health walk after my eye appointment on Tuesday this week.  (Before calling several doctor's offices and having long talks with our nurse friend, Kristie, on Mom's behalf).

Miss Katherine Claire had surgery yesterday to correct trigger thumb (a condition she's had since birth).  Sarah said she's doing really well recovering, but gets pretty upset any time she suddenly remembers that her hand is bandaged up. lol

The fact that they pulled her to surgery in this little wagon is the most adorable thing to me!

This was on 3-21 of 2020!  Sarah made us cheesy enchilada soup and chocolate chip cookies (both excellent) and we watched Jumanji and had a long talk about life and our worries regarding the developing pandemic (scarier for her as a nurse).  It's all such a good memory to me looking back.  I ❤great friendships!!

Truth... the HALT method (of curbing self-destructive behavior and emotional eating by considering whether you're truly hungry or angry, lonely, or tired) makes sense to me.  Breathe, think it over, and work to meet the real need rather than overreacting or suppressing things with food.

In that department, it's been quite a week with lots of added stressors.  After a terribly rough night on Tuesday, Mom went to the ER yesterday afternoon, and I stayed there overnight with her - (rough times, but it was really good I stayed).  She was finally admitted to a regular hospital room just after 5am this morning.  She has an acute kidney injury due to dehydration, as well as elevated lactate and white blood cells due to infection.  They've given her IV fluids and antibiotics and done a blood transfusion, and her numbers are all improving now, thank God!  She's been through a lot this year, and I know it hasn't been easy on her.  And it's not easy on me when she's suffering either.  In the midst of this week's craziness, I have managed to make healthy choices and stay in peace better than usual thanks to Jesus, prayer, and exceptional friends... big shoutout to Chet Lee, Kristin W., Sarah, and Kristie for their timely words of wisdom, advice, and empathy!!

I'm guessing I'm not alone in this, but when I have close people who I really believe are not going anywhere, I feel far less inclined to fall apart even in really hard times.  It has a strengthening effect.  But if I feel insecure or anxious about whether a relationship is solid, that messes with my soul even in the very best seasons of life.  I want to be rooted and grounded in Jesus above all else, but it is very helpful and grounding to have dependable people who love me and whom I love, which includes most of my regular blog readers, so thank you!! ❤